A short one tonight – but I hope you enjoy after all the angst! I'll try to do lots over the weekend - I was just too tired tonight to do too much!

They sat, not moving, for the longest time. Once or twice Sam tried to sit up and pull away but each time Jack tightened his grip, not letting her go. After a while she began to feel stiff and sore from sitting in an awkward position.

"Jack", she spoke into his shoulder where her head rested. He didn't answer but again his arm tightened. She knew he was probably feeling uncomfortable – emotionally – but she really did have to move.

Uncomfortable didn't come close to describing how he felt. He was mortified. He held on to Sam, not for comfort (although that was part of it as well) but because he was too humiliated to look at her. He couldn't believe he'd just told her what had happened in Iraq. He'd vowed, years ago, to never tell anyone. It was his secret, his shame and he didn't want anyone to know or to pity him.

That's all he would be now, he thought – an object of pity. How could Sam, or any woman for that matter, look at him the same? His very manhood was in question.

"Jack!" This time her voice was a little sharper. He realized she probably wanted to leave, to get away from him and here he was, holding on to her with a death grip. With a muttered "sorry", he let her go. Quickly standing up, not looking at her, he brushed himself off. Turning towards the cave he started to walk.

"We'd better get back. They're gonna worry about us." Pausing until he saw Sam move he began to walk slowly. Hoping that Sam wasn't looking he surreptitiously wiped his eyes and cheeks with his arm. He still couldn't believe he'd broken down the way he had. He didn't ever remember feeling so embarrassed about anything in his life.

"Jack", she said for the third time. She watched as he began to walk away, pretty certain she knew what he was going through. He was a proud and private man and this must have been pretty devastating. She'd hoped that her presence – and her words of love – would have helped, but he had just ignored them. Maybe he couldn't forgive her for her hateful words.

"Jack, please wait." He stopped but didn't turn around. He didn't want to look at her. She walked up to him and stood at his side, hoping he'd acknowledge her presence in some way. When he didn't speak, or move, she sighed. This was turning out to be one of the worst couple of days she could ever remember.

He glanced over at her and could tell, from her expression, that she was hurt by his attitude. Well, welcome to my life, he thought angrily – but then quickly stopped that line of thinking. Sam had apologized and she'd been nothing but kind and loving the last few minutes. The last thing he should do was get angry back at her. He began to walk again, this time with Sam at his side.

Really, he thought as they walked, he should be grateful to her. She hadn't turned away in disgust – she'd held him during his awful breakdown. She'd cried with him and had told him - ! He came to a sudden stop. What? What had she said? Had he heard her say those words? He'd been so caught up in his own humiliation and hurt he hadn't really been listening to her, he'd only held on to her like a drowning man and had taken comfort in her warmth. Her words had drifted over him without really settling. But now – now he was remembering.

God, had she really said it or was he imagining those words? Was this just hope or was it real.

"What is it?" she sounded worried, not knowing what to make of his behavior. He was beginning to frighten her. Suddenly, without warning, he turned to her and grabbed her arms.

"What did you say?" he asked harshly.

"Uh – I just said 'what is it'". What was going on?

"No, before that." He shook her gently as if trying to force her to say the right words.

"I .. don't know. I just called your name, trying to get your attention."

He shook his head in frustration. "Before that, when we were – when I was – when we were sitting – I thought you said something. What was it?" He was sounding frantic.

She looked at him then, finally understanding. But could she repeat them? They had been said in a moment of extreme emotion. She'd wanted to reach out and comfort him and the words had come naturally but now, now was different. Now she felt on the spot and vulnerable.

"Please Sam, it's important. What did you say!"

"I – I just said – ."

"What?"

"Just that I loved you." She said it under her breath and for a second he wasn't sure if he had heard her right.

"Did you mean it?" he asked gently. Please, please let her have meant it.

There was a pause in which he thought his heart was going to climb out of his mouth and run away. Finally she answered.

"Yes." One word, that's all it was, that's all it took. Without warning Jack felt the tears again gather in his eyes. God, he'd cried more today than he had since he was three! Moving his hands slowing down Sam's arms to her hands he grasped them gently. She was looking down at her feet but didn't resist him. Carefully, he pulled her to him – this time softly and gently; not with need or in anger or despair, but with relief and with a growing fragment of hope.

Not saying anything he rested his chin on her bowed head. As he breathed in her scent and felt the warmth of her body he could slowly feel the torn and bruised wounds in his soul begin to heal. He realized that by telling Sam his most painful secret and then receiving her words of love he could begin to leave so much of the anguish and shame and guilt behind. It wouldn't be immediate; he knew that. But maybe, over time, he could begin to deal with it.

He laughed softly to himself then, thinking how pathetic he was. He felt incredibly needy right now, something he wasn't used to at all. He didn't feel like he even had the energy to respond to her words, even though they had meant so much. All he could do was stand here and hold her.

Sam was also feeling fragile and confused. She was relishing the closeness and the tenderness with which Jack was holding her but he still hadn't said anything to her about her declaration of love. All she could think was that he didn't feel the same, although he obviously cared for her.

As she continued to lean into him she made a decision. As long as they were here she would continue to love him but as soon as they returned home she would have to see about separating herself from him. She couldn't handle loving him but only having him 'care' for her in return.

She could feel him take a deep breath and begin to pull away. He finally looked at her and she returned his gaze. She reached up and touched his cheek – he looked so tired, so wounded.

"Sam", he said. This was difficult but he knew he had to say the words. "About what you said, -" She reached up with her hand and covered his lips.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything."

He looked at her confused – she didn't want him to say it? Why not? Maybe she hadn't really meant what she'd said. Had it only been to comfort him. Looking down at her he realized how sad and scared she looked.

"Hell", he pulled back and ran his hands through his hair. What were they doing? Both of them had been through too much lately – too much pain, too much trauma – that they didn't even know how to react anymore or how to talk to each other. Yeah, he snorted, and they also had years of 'not talking' – at least when it came to their feelings for each other.

Then today had happened and he had spilled his guts – something that still astounded him. But now – right! Now he was quickly moving back into his old habits and was afraid to talk to her. Looking at Sam it seemed like she was in the same boat.

"Sam, what are we doing?" he said to her softly. "Why are we having so much trouble being open with each other?" This time, when she went to speak it was he who stopped her. "No, let me say this please."

Stepping away from her he asked again, "Did you really mean what you said? Did you say it to make me feel better or is it really how you feel?" He faced her and looked her directly in the eye. "Please Sam, tell me the truth. I think we need to be honest with each other here. I know this is hard but I can't live anymore like this."

Seeing the fear and frustration in his eyes she knew he was right – they had to get this out in the open no matter how painful it might be. With a nod she began to speak.

"I meant it Jack. I've meant it for a long, long time; I just couldn't say it before. But I'm not asking anything of you. I didn't want to burden you with this and wouldn't have said anything except it's been a rough day for both of us." Wasn't that the understatement of the world! "I'm not asking anything from you so please, don't let this get in the way of our friendship." There, she'd said it the best way she knew how.

"Why not?" he asked.

"What? Why not what?" she couldn't figure out what he was saying.

"Why aren't you asking anything from me? My God Sam, you're a gorgeous, smart, loving woman. You could ask for the moon and you'd deserve it."

She let out a nervous giggle. "I don't think I need the moon Jack!"

"Well I don't know if I'd want to give you a sun – you'd just blow it up!" He walked back to her. "I don't think you get it Carter – maybe you're not so smart after all. You think you've 'burdened' me by telling me you love me? My God woman, don't you know that there was nothing I wanted – no needed to hear more? And it wasn't because I was feeling bad and needed comfort – it was because I'm madly in love with you and I so wanted you to feel the same." There, he'd done it! For the second time that day he'd bared his soul – he'd hung it out for Sam to see. He felt like his life, his future, now lay in her hands.

"What?" she asked faintly. Now it was her turn to decide whether she'd heard him right. "You love me?" The surprise in her voice cut Jack to the quick. Had he been that careless with her that she didn't know? He had to start doing a lot better.

"Truly, madly, deeply!" he grinned his signature 'half-grin' but didn't move. With a frustrated huff she walked up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"Then why the hell didn't you say so before now!" With that she pulled him towards her and kissed him passionately. However, the kiss quickly moved from passion to tenderness, as that's what they both needed at this moment. They were still too raw, too sore with all that had happened, with all the memories and thoughts that had been dragged out. Neither of them was ready for passion - but love and caring and tenderness, those were right.

They continued to hold each other again – this time giving to the other rather than taking. Even though they both knew they had a lot of healing ahead, for this moment they were at peace. They both believed everything was going to be alright.

"That was a movie." He could feel Sam's words vibrate into his chest.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Truly, Madly, Deeply – that was a movie." She giggled softly.

"Yeah", he sighed, "but they got it right."

Smiling tenderly she could only agree.