HUGEEE thanks to ladybugsmomma, who has been nothing but supportive through this whole story and I could never ever repay her, so thank you! So I hope you guys can stomach this chapter, although I tried to put more action in than expanding on topics. By the way, I'm currently watching the new episode of NCIS - "One Last Score". xDD oh, look, an Abby cut-shot (as in the black and white scene... yeahh...)! Aww, what a cute stutter. Yeah, I'm writing this AN while watching :) So far, I count three Abby scenes. RANT WARNING: Poor Abby, she's my favorite character and nobody ever pays attention to her! In this episode, I don't even see Gibbs and Abby speaking - at all! No kiss on the cheek, no Caf-Pows, no nothing! Grrr! Oh well, the new character is pretty... I guess... and nice... I don't know. Gahh! I bet you're not reading this, and I seriously don't blame you.

The rain wasn't parting to allow its intruder an easy path through its midst. If anything, it came down harder, and the young woman was fortunate that it wasn't thundering and lightning. The rain on its own was just as bad, though.

It came down in thick, wet sheets, soaking her hair through until she could feel raindrops racing down her unmasked, downtrodden face, from her forehead to her chin, revealing to nobody in particular the emotions she had been containing. The raindrops dripped off her chin and off the tips of her pigtails onto the ground, mixing in with the rapidly pooling puddles that her boots kept splashing in methodically. They weren't made for rain, though, and the cold water soaked in through her socks, freezing her feet until they were numb. Somehow, they still kept walking, one in front of the other.

She was completely drenched through, and she fought the need to sneeze. The freezing rain, the dark, the emotional exhaustion threatening to overwhelm her; none of it could be healthy. Yet she felt she needed to keep it together, to protect those she loved most. She admitted to herself that it sounded completely cliché; the secretive friend making stupid moves to keep her oblivious friends out of danger. Her mouth twisted to the side in an attempted smirk, but when it didn't work, she let herself relax again and instead felt embarrassed.

Her footsteps and the rain and the plopping of the puddles were the only sounds she could hear. Nobody was stupid enough to come out in the pouring rain like this. Most people would rather go hungry for a night then be out here in this. Even the cars were stopped, as if lulled into a temporary state of paralysis. That's kind of how she felt, except she wasn't paralyzed, further proven by her feet which wouldn't listen to sense and wouldn't quit moving.

Her thoughts weren't coming to her clearly. They were in a jumbled mess, so much so that she couldn't focus on just one. Some did repeat themselves, more than others for sure, but other than that, it all seemed completely meaningless.

Now that she had nothing to lose, she cried. Barely at first, but after a little while, it just started and wouldn't cease. Her salty tears blended in with the biting rain that pounded against her relentlessly and stole her tears away with it. The sound of her pathetic sobbing and sniffling mixed in with the measured sounds already surrounding her like flies. There was nothing to lose now, and it was all her fault, how could she have made such a grave mistake? It seemed so innocent, too.

"But how can anyone expect me to do this?" she questioned herself aloud. "I'm not made to do this! This isn't what Abbys do!" she cried out hoarsely, her stubborn pace finally slowing.

Where she was, she had no clue, none at all, and it didn't bother her. All she knew was the next moment realization weighed her down like an anchor and she dropped to her knees when her legs were too cold to support her and she managed to still her forward movement. Her knees hit hard pavement and she nearly gave out right there when pain briefly overwhelmed her other senses, but was soon drowned out by the sky's own tears. A small trickle of crimson blood that had come from her scraped knees was washed away only seconds later. She bent her head over and finally, completely allowed herself to shed her own tears, ones that had been in hiding ever since. Oh, how she would pay gravely, but now, there was no turning back.

Memories of her and her brother filled her thoughts and provided a temporary respite as she dwelled on them. Warmth tickled her skin as she looked back to happy times. Not that her current ones with the team weren't happy. Well, they had been, before… before…

"Before he killed Sean," she muttered unhappily.

Thank goodness she hadn't actually been there, otherwise she might as well have just killed the team herself right there and then. As she thought of his cold body, lying down in autopsy, forever taken from her, she cried harder. Nobody came.

She sat like that for what could have been days for all she cared, but what was really only about a mere half an hour. The rain was merciless in its beatings, but it couldn't break her more than she already was. Her brother was dead. Gone. Taken. Cheated. Forever.

A hoarse, anguished cry escaped her before she clamped her mouth shut. Her throat stung with the tears she was trying to hold back, but for whose benefit, she wasn't sure anymore. Most certainly not her own. It pained her greatly to know that her brother, who had had a whole life ahead of him, had been taken from her in a coldhearted act of revenge that really could be credited to her. If she had only kept her big mouth freaking shut. Then again, that never was a skill of hers, and look where she was now. Alone, guilty, admitting to spiteful water what she couldn't to those who actually loved and cared about her.

Not that she doubted their loyalty and devotion to her, but if anything, she felt like she was taking advantage of it, purposely or not. They would be steamed, pissed off, ticked, furious. Quite frankly, she didn't blame them, and she felt similarly towards herself.

"How could I have let this happen?" With her cracked voice came another rush of tears that she fought futilely to control. She shook her head, "it's all my fault.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice failing her as she started to hyperventilate. Her breath escaped her as she fell into the pit that had become her misery, but honestly, she was glad to get it out and be able to just let go and fall. She was relieved it was out there, literally in the open, but other than that she wasn't sure how she felt about it. What she had risked by opening her way too big mouth, years ago, and again today. But she'd been good about it before… hadn't she?

Maybe she had gotten her team in trouble in other ways. Doubt shrouded her and her sobs quieted to hiccups that caused her chest to ache when she couldn't properly catch her breath before another tirade of hiccups hit her. There were no words left, only questions that she really couldn't answer. What was going to happen now? How could she have let this happen?

There were too many doubts as well. All of those doubts about herself and how things might have been different if she were deaf as well.

Her mind was vulnerable to anything at the moment. Sean, wherever he was, chose this moment to gain from her current state and forced in flickering images; those that she had been forced to look at when his body was found, just outside the Navy Yard. He had been holding nothing, and he looked terrified, so terrified, even in a hurriedly snapped picture by Ziva, and even in death. Deep down, she knew it wasn't a coincidence, and that he had indeed been murdered there, in that very spot.

He had been on his way to see her, to warn her, and that made her feel even worse. If she weren't there, this would all be so much easier, but could she really do that? Did she have the willpower or confidence to do that and to just remove herself? Was it possible to run away from her problems? Or would she run headfirst into a brick wall? She was too happy with life in general, she thought stubbornly, refusing to give in to the darker recesses of her mind. Yet, she couldn't help but feel that those recesses were the more truthful ones.

Fueled by her own misgivings, she stumbled to her numb feet and continued on through the rain until she was enveloped by it, her footsteps rapidly fading away. Mentally, she kept repeating the same words over and over until she was forced to believe them: I should have already done this, now look what I've gone and screwed up!

"She could catch a freeze, yes?" Ziva found herself arguing in the middle of the bullpen, standing up behind her desk, the rest of her team at their desks.

"Catch a cold, Ziva," Tony corrected halfheartedly, exasperated. He shook his head and it was obvious his heart wasn't in it.

"Whatever," she sighed helplessly, releasing the tension in her muscles and allowing herself to fall back into the trusty chair awaiting her.

"It's her business," McGee said, though he couldn't muster the tone he had been intending to use. He rubbed at his eyes, strained from watching the monitor all day. Though he was just as concerned about Abby as they were, he placed his well earned trust in her decisions and abilities. Surely she wouldn't do something completely outlandish… would she?

For a few moments, the only sound was the rain that had somewhere swallowed their friend Abby, fighting against the glass of the window. Then Tony opened his mouth, but a look from Gibbs made him close it again. A fired up Ziva was letting off some necessary steam by snapping a rubber band that she had picked up, though her mind was elsewhere.

"I still think we should look for her," Ziva's voice stated curtly from her desk, the rubber band's twanging keeping a steady beat.

Twang.

"It's Abby, David," Gibbs added his first two cents worth in. The statement, minus the "David" on their own said enough.

Twang.

Tony looked up to shoot her a glare, that of which she purposely or not, failed to recognize as that of annoyance.

Twang.

"Go home," Gibbs shouted, annoyance heavy in his tone. The three agents gave him quizzical looks.

Twang.

Gibbs shot Ziva a death glare and she dropped the rubber band as if it were on fire. The twanging gone and Gibbs found himself able to continue. "She probably went home," he reasoned, but it was difficult to tell if he believed it himself or not, and he questioned himself on who he was trying to convince. "You're all useless when you're tired, so go home and get some damn sleep."

Leave it to Gibbs to be the voice of reason, albeit the one that turned every rational comment into an insult in one go. However, at the excuse to leave early and get through the rain before it got even worse, his agents quickly stood up and gathered themselves together. Thoughts of getting to sleep early after a warm meal in their dry houses under the glow of lamp light swirled pleasantly in their heads, and Abby was temporarily forgotten. It was uncomplicated to convince themselves that the excuse Gibbs had given for Abby's abrupt leave was true, because it made sense anyway. Probably just went home, slept it off, gave herself some more time to think things through and plan out what she wanted to offer as an explanation for her bizarre actions. The way she was keeping everything going on in her head uncharacteristically secretive from the team was demanding answers. The problem remained that so far, she seemed very unwilling to give them.

The thoughts were dropped, though, as they hurriedly, and in a small cluster, exited from behind their desks. A brief chorus along the lines of "good night, Gibbs" filled the hush before fading out once again as the agents unwillingly made their way out into the cold rain, hoods pulled tight and umbrella's pulling them along.

In a few moments, they disappeared and Gibbs shook his head. Sometimes he had difficulty following his own advice, which, really, would benefit him in the long run if he did. Even though the feeble explanation he had provided had come from the top of his head, it still seemed likely and lucid of her. There was no reason to be concerned.

A few moments later Gibbs was making his own leave, not bothering to pull his hood over his graying head of hair or pull out a weathered umbrella. Instead, he let the rain wash over him as he made his way expertly through the streets, hoping that it would reveal something to him. He thought he heard wet, panicked footsteps, but as he strained to listen, all he could hear was the constantly pounding rain. It was just his mind telling him what he longed to hear.

Gibbs made his way home mechanically.

The next day, the rain had let up into a rapid, though wet, drizzle. The weather plus the absence of any urgent cases allowed the agents liberty in when they decided to come into work. For the wee, leisurely hours of the morning, some slept in, some worked on digital programs, some exercised, and some… did some woodworking. They did it all with a content buzz, satisfied with however they had individually chosen to spend their previous night free of care. Little did they know that would change awfully soon.

At some point, Gibbs and Ziva made their way into the bullpen simultaneously, managing to avoid the worst of the sopping water. The worst Ziva had gotten was that her hair was soaked, and she spent a few minutes sitting at her desk and attempting to wring the worst of it out of her dark locks. Gibbs himself could care less and sat down behind his desk and instantly started working. McGee let himself in about half an hour later, humming some tune until both Gibbs and Ziva sent a look his way that clearly conveyed to him that he should shut the hell up or risk losing his limbs. He did so and sat behind his desk, not hesitating in letting his practiced fingers take over and fly across the keyboard. Tony made his entrance a few minutes later, relatively quiet for the morning as he smiled, sent a snappy remark Ziva's way of which nobody acknowledged, and lazily dropped into the chair behind his desk. After a little antsy fidgeting and playing around with various things, he too fell begrudgingly into paperwork, though the pile was briskly diminishing.

Time escaped them and they weren't sure when, but by Tony's grumbling stomach they automatically assumed that it was well past lunch, when Jimmy made an unexpected but not unwelcome visit to the bullpen. He looked a little flustered, but nothing else gave him away.

"Has anyone seen Abby?" Jimmy asked casually, taking a glance around to make sure that he hadn't overlooked her. When he received no vocal response he shrugged, not being the most perceptive, and didn't look at their expressions. "I'll go inform Dr. Mallard," he concluded, making his exit back through the elevator and down to his domain.

The visit seemed harmless, though it caused a little discomfort to stir in the four agents. Then Ziva pointed out, "We had not seen her come in yesterday either, yes?" and that was that. Any worry dissipated into their work and was temporarily put to rest. That was, until Ducky made an appearance as well.

If Gibbs was surprised by Ducky's appearance, he didn't show it. "The apple doesn't far too fall from the tree," he mused, referring to the fact that Ducky's protégé had also made a similar emergence. Perhaps Ducky was unsatisfied with Jimmy's excuse.

Ducky didn't seem amused, though. In fact, any traces of it couldn't be found on his face or in his eyes if they stared for hours.

"Abigail never came in today," he informed them, his voice laden with anxiousness. The announcement got their attentions and they all sat up straight, alert. Ducky continued as typing sounds came from McGee's desk. "Yesterday, she came in through the back entrance to autopsy. At first I found it odd, but she passed it off as 'playing a joke,' so I thought nothing of it."

"McGee—" Gibbs began, his voice hinting at snoopiness, although it was excusable. Abby had been acting so strangely as of late, and even the most minor happenings could be a tip-off to something much, much larger.

"Her phone's off, boss," McGee reported glumly from his station. That was only another sign of alarm and Ducky, who had apparently stumbled across something he hadn't meant to be included in at the moment, disappeared back down to autopsy where he was needed.

"DiNozzo, David, check her house. McGee, with me, we're checking out the Navy Yard," Gibbs directed. Nobody hesitated.

Abby was gone, quite literally without a trace.