I Wanted Him
A Star Trek Fanfiction
Chapter Three:
To Forgive Me
Uhura wanted to ask, but had a sense that maybe she didn't want to know. It was no secret that she thought the captain a pompous arrogant brat when they first met. The woman was insufferable in every sense of the word and yet managed to place almost everyone she encountered under her charismatic spell. Many times she wanted to throttle her, as she was the main cause of a few conflicts they managed to find themselves in every other occasion. It was blatant stupidity; the type that Jen Kirk managed to turn into a vital, infallible life skill.
Knowing all of this and having experienced it first hand, she could only become a little concern as she watched her place Spock in control and disappear within the Enterprise for the umpteenth time this month. She couldn't get any information from Spock, seeing as he and Kirk no longer conversed, and Bones refused to bring up the subject. As if that weren't suspicious enough, Counselor Andros refused to break confidence, which is usual protocol when issues begin affecting the running of the ship.
What the hell is going on here?
"How are you feeling today Captain?"
"I've told you to call me Jen. I come here too often for you to forget that."
"Jen."
"I feel like I can stop coming to sessions now. Whatever you put in the candle, essence of Iron-willed Vulcan or something, it's working."
"Good. And you've been able to converse with First Officer Spock."
". . . yeah. Work related, odds and ends of the crew and the ship, even a passing remark about the upcoming nuptials. As far as that goes, I'm not sure we'll ever be as- as close as we once were."
It was a relief to not cringe at that revelation. As much as she hate to admit it, frequently having her head shrunk had been worth it. She was cracking jokes and making Bones' life a living hell just as she used to before. Her crew began to trust in her again and displayed a little less pity when she walked into a room. The whole ordeal really didn't help the image of the female, but at this point chauvinists could bite her; progress was good.
"That's a start. I also think that the sessions can become more lax; I still want you to report to me every two weeks and continue the candle regimen. I've also been checking in with Bones to make sure no adverse effects have manifested."
Jen jumped up in alarm, "You said that thing was safe!"
"Yes, but I wasn't counting on your interesting ability to be allergic to almost every substance you touch.."
"Bones . . ."
"Take it for affection Jen. Just in case there is a delayed reaction to the candle, as a safeguard I will also give you this one. It will dilute the effects of the first one by diverting the elements that could be harmful to the surface while the more benevolent will continue as they were. It is virtually the same process only, if anything were to go wrong, the symptoms will be milder and easier to manage."
She took the small white candle, double the thickness of the orange ones, and gave it an experimental sniff. It smelled of mint and ice. And instead of spinning, she felt as if she could float out of her chair at any moment
"Sounds good to me." she pocketed the item and rose to leave, "Thank you again Andros."
"On the contrary. I enjoy your company Captain. Although I do wish that it was under more favorable circumstances."
Jen could see the sincerity "Well, how about you join me for dinner tonight in my quarters. We can converse over something far more entertaining than the workings of the female mind."
"That sounds like a nice change."
"Then it's on."
Bones made sure to examine everything twice over before he gave her a clean bill of health. Aside from a rise in brain activity, she was fit and functional.
"It's a miracle." he muttered
"Ha, ha." Jen stretched her limbs, "I sure can't wait for shore leave. I've been working like a dog."
"Bullshit. I've been working like a dog. You've been sleeping with candles and crewmen for the past few months."
"That's a low blow even for you Bones. Andros has become a good friend to me. If it weren't for him and his candles I'd still be bitching and moaning and you'd be using me as a pincushion for hypos."
He grunted with skepticism, "Call it what you like, but I think the shrink is sweet on you. You'd have to be blind or stupid not to notice all the dinners and lunch chats giggle faces you two make. It's sickening."
"I-"
"Haven't gotten over the hobgoblin? His name hasn't passed your lips without a task following after it. That annoying duo you had going on in the beginning now consists of him and Uhura and it doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest."
That was true. Instead of snapping at him or outright ignoring him she could carry one a reasonable conversation. What was once their bond she believe they shared now took on the form of respect and understanding. That just had to be good enough for her.
"Yeah, yeah, but I don't want to talk about that anymore than I already do in session. And I'm not sleeping with Andros. It's too much to jump from one guy to another. . . way to much work for starters-"
"No more! I bore witness to that on a number of occasions in positions I will never bleach out of my brain."
Laughing, Jen slapped him on the back and pinched his cheek, "I said I was sorry."
"No you're not."
". . . so I'm not, join us for lunch?"
"Are you asking me to lunch or an expedition?"
"Stop your bitching for two seconds and enjoy the company you rarely have. If you can do that for me, then maybe on shore leave I'll help you get laid." She managed to dodge the hypospray aimed at her neck and dashed out of sick bay, "Love you Bones!"
Despite himself, he chuckled. How could he have known that the girl he sat down next to that day would be an eternal pain in the ass as well as a lifelong friend?
Spock watched the free expressions on the Elder's face and, for the first time, wondered just how different the alternate universe was. How close was his alter with the others of the Enterprise? How did he come to achieve his place in Starfleet and how did he connect with his family and culture on Vulcan? So many things to ask. . .
"Uhura and I were good friends aboard the ship and shared an easy camaraderie amongst ourselves. She was a very bright, very intelligent woman. As for any amorous attachment, it was not meant to be."
This surprised Spock, "Among the majority of Terran females I've become acquainted with, I have never met a more compatible match."
"And what is compatibility without a driving force? When circumstances become too manageable, there is nothing more to fight for." Elder Spock eyed his counterpart with some scrutiny, "And what of Jen? How has she accepted your impending bonding?"
"With as much enthusiasm as one would expect from a colleague and friend despite her former despondence."
"Hmm, tell me, was she lethargic? Did she refuse to speak or lashed out in a hostile manner?"
"Yes."
"Was that directed at you by chance?"
"For a time she refused to engage me in conversation or even acknowledge my existence. I fail to comprehend the motive behind this action."
The next thing that happened caught Spock completely by surprise. Not only did his alter crack a smile, he actually laughed. A loud, full sound that, oddly enough, reminded him of her mother on the occasion she was sent into fits. Nonetheless, it was a bit embarrassing to see.
"It is a simple matter to forget that while you are intelligent, you are also young. The complications of the human heart, much more those of a female, are at once both simple and profound. The connection you share with Jen is no less than the bond I once shared with Jim in my time."
". . . your bond with Jim Kirk in your time. . . "
". . .was one of the most important and valuable asset I possessed. Though we were by no means compatible in any sense, our differences completed the other with qualities we lacked. If one is to place a puzzle with its' destined pair, it would not be logical to align it with a compatible mate, but an opposing force."
Attracting opposites. An irreplaceable bond with his captain. . .
"I will not tell you that your fate will be any less complete should you deviate from a former path. I will tell you however, that I have known no greater friend or entity than that of James T. Kirk. I have the utmost confidence that your Jennafer is no different."
Long after he ended the transmission, the conversation still rang fresh in Spock's mind. The emotion that overcame Jen and her complete denial of his person bordered on the emotion of irritation. Her confidence in an upstart crewman came dangerously close to feelings of inadequacy. Until now, there was no other explanation for such a display.
It was true that they were of different intellects. Where he was reserved, she was all kinetic energy. Where he stayed within the lines of regulation, she broke walls with the belief that the cost more than outweighed the means. She was insufferable, boisterous, overconfident, and shameless, but she was also strategic, loyal, fierce, and determined. And yet, he never thought of her in that sense, not when he was engaged with Nyota, his planet was in peril, and said stowaway was more of a complication.
It would be more beneficial to speak to the captain, but as that has had a negative outcome, more tactical measures would have to be taken. . . . maybe he should have also sought out the guidance of his father as well.
Jen felt as if an invisible force pulled her among the waves of some vast ocean. The sensation seemed to wash her clean; she felt more open and free.
"Jen, can I come in?"
The door opened and Andros came in, appearing really nervous and antsy. Jen dreamily beckoned him to sit beside her on the bed and tried hard to pay attention to him.
"I didn't want to disturb you during therapy, but I felt that something must be known that couldn't wait until later." he swallowed hard and clenched his fists, "But maybe it's better for you to know now. . ."
"What are you talking about. . .?"
"The little jokes from Dr. McCoy about. . . well, it's a complicated thing. . . I wanted to come clean to Starfleet, but my mother didn't think it was necessary. And I know it's cheap to approach you now of all times, but. . . please forgive me."
"Andros. . . just. . . spit it out. . ."
". . . . Andrea."
Jen lifted her head, a puzzled expression on her face.
Bracing himself, he stood from the bed. It was then that she noticed he wore a loose-fitting robe. Closing his eyes, he released the robe, and at the same time a small psychic net that was bound close to his body.
And it was a gorgeous body with full, rounded hips, supple, shapely breasts, and long, wild red hair. And if that wasn't enough, there bold as brass was a male appendage, no doubt hiding the netherlips of a female.
". . . my birth-name is Andrea."
Author's Note:
With the last image, I wasn't trying to describe a Mary-sue. I was actually thinking of the mythology while typing and it just came out that way. This chapter was the most challenging to type. I think it could have been better, but that's what practice and patience is for.