Just before I start I wanna apologize for putting 'John' instead of 'Doug' at the end of the first chapter. The reason for this is that at first the name was going to be John but I changed it at the last second, so when I was changing the names I must have missed that one. And I also made some other mistakes for example 'Oarka' instead of 'Parka' and 'boor' instead of 'beer'. Now I freely admit that my method was wrong, but I hope you can understand my motive. And will accept this explanation, and this apology.
Monday. The first day of school for Doug. He moved in Saturday. That was the day where he spent all day with Kenny. Sunday he didn't do anything. (He couldn't in case he didn't know where Kenny lived so he couldn't go find him.) He was just hoping that Stan, Kyle and Cartman wouldn't make a big deal about... his interests again. He walked up to the bus stop, which wasn't far away from his house, to see Stan and Kyle. He stayed a little far away, not wanting to mix with them too much.
"Hey Doug, c'm'over here." Stan said. Seeing that they didn't seem to want to make fun of him, Doug decided to go next to them. "So..." They snickered. "...you doin' lots of theatre plays?" When they (tried) to make fun of him, he decided to get away from 'em. "Hey, hey we were kidding dude. C'mon we were just talking about last night's film. Did you see it?" Asked Stan.
"It was awesome. It was a little old but it was cool. It was called die hard and there's this guy..." Kyle said going on about the movie. Doug wasn't really listening, not because he didn't like 'em or anything, he was just tired. After a moment Cartman came.
"Oh hey Stan, Jew and poor fag. How's it going?"
"Shut up Cartman!" Kyle yelled. Doug was thinking the same thing but Kyle beat him to it. Right after him Kenny came and the bus followed shortly after, so Doug didn't really talk to Kenny. When they got on the bus, Doug sat next to him. No one else was sitting next to him so...
"Why're you sitting alone?" Doug asked. Kenny seemed like the kind of kid who's popular and who'd have a lot of friends.
"What the fuck kind of question is that?" Kenny asked.
"Uh...I don't know I was just curious." Doug replied.
"Well, I dunno why no one sits next to me. I never really cared to tell the truth." Kenny said. "What the hell kindof questions d'you ask?"
"I dunno, when I'm bored I ask stupid questions. Plus you look like a guy who could be popular if you wanted to."
"Yeah, well, I'm poor. Poor people never really become popular." Kenny snapped.
"You're telling me..." They sat in silence for a second. Thinking that the situation was a little awkward, Kenny decided to break the silence.
"Oh, by the way dude, this is your first day, right? Someone will have to show you around the school. Introduce you to the other kids and all right?"
"Uh...yeah." Doug said.
"Don't worry I'll take care of that, I know most of the people in the class. You already know Stan, Kyle and fatass..." He said, pointing at the kids on the bus. "...that's Butters, that over there is Clyde, Tweek over there is always paranoid so don't...don't tell him...just don't talk to him."
"Oh." Doug said. They all looked kinda weird. Especially that Tweek kid.
"That's Bebe, she has a nice ass, that's Wendy, she's with Stan so forget her aaaaand... oh Token, who's rich, aaaaaaaand... that's more or less it. There are other guys, but there are a lot of sick people too so..."
"Uuuum...yeah." Doug really didn't understand a word of what he was saying. (Because of his hoodie.)
"So that's the difference between a transvestite and a gay person." Mr Garrison said. "So for tomorrow do exercises number 1 to 5 and start that book report on..." He looked for his copy of the book. "...that book that you started reading."
"Hey guys, we're gonna go play some basketball, you wanna come?" Stan asked Kenny and Doug.
"Sure let's go." Kenny said, following Stan and the other guys. Doug stayed where he was.
"Hey Doug, you comin'?" Asked Kyle. Doug looked at him for a second without saying anything and then started following him. "So Doug, what does your father do?" Doug was kindof surprised at that question.
"Um...well, right now nothing but he's gonna try to find a job." Cartman saw the good moment to rip on him.
"Yeah, maybe he can get a job as a town drunk hehe."
"Shut up Cartman." Doug said.
"How much money d'you have?" Stan asked.
"Uhhh...not much." Doug said. He thought it was kind of a weird question.
"Come on guys, don't you understand? It's because he's even poorer than Kinney." Cartman said.
"Shut up Cartman! I have money. It's just that... we have to save it for food and stuff cuz my dad doesn't make money." Doug said. He realised just then how stupid that sounded.
"So...where d'you get money if your dad doesn't make it." Cartman said, knowing he had Doug in a corner.
"Well, it's my mom..." Doug replied.
"Your mom makes your money instead of your dad? God, your dad is a fucking loser." Cartman went on.
"No. My mom made a lot of money 'cuz she had a job. But now she can't work anymore 'cuz..."
"...Cuz she's a crack whore?" Cartman finished his sentence. Doug stopped. He looked at Cartman.
"No you damn fatass...because she's dead. But good guess anyway asshole." Stan, Kyle and Kenny were taken aback from what he just said.
"Oh dude... That sucks man." Stan said. Cartman rolled his eyes.
"Oh right, and how did she die?"
"She got in a car accident. She was run over by a car while crossing the road." No one said anything for a while. Cartman decided to break the silence.
"So, she didn't look both sides of the road?"
"Shut up Cartman."
"What kind of car squashed her?" Cartman went on.
"Shut up Cartman." Doug repeated.
"But you know guys, I think the most embarassing thing for him is not that his mom is dead, it's that it was his MOM who brought back money. NOT his dad."
"Cartman..." Stan said, feeling Doug's anger. "Shut the fuck up. You don't talk about this kind of things."
"Well, I can't help it if his dad is a poor, drunk who doesn't get a job, and his mom is a dead. By the way, who buy's you presents if your mom's dead?" Doug felt like murdering him.
"JESUS CHRIST YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT, LET'S SEE HOW YOU TAKE IT WHEN YOUR MOM DIES! BUT DON'T WORRY...BEING YOUR MOM SHOULD BE SO BAD, YOU'RE BITCH OF A MOTHER SHOULD COMMIT SUICIDE SOON!" Doug yelled. Kenny, having just about enough of the situation, grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him away.
"HEY, DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER LIKE THAT! SHE LOVES ME MORE THAN...than...THAN I LOVE TERENCE AND PHILIP!" Cartman yelled back. As Kenny and Doug left, Stan and Kyle looked at their fat friend in disappointment.
"Damn dude. Making fun of a guy's dead mother... Weak." Stan said.
"Yeah, you just reached a new low." Kyle added.
"Yeah? Well, fudge you guys, I'm going home." He said as he left.
"Jesus, what's the fucking matter with your fucking friend?" Doug asked Kenny, still angry as hell.
"He's...he's just a fucking asshole. Don't take it personnally though. He does that to everyone."
"Oh, don't take it personnally huh? Yeah hee just made fun of my dead mother, but nooo... I shouldn't take it personnally." He said as he took out a pack of cigarette's and lit one.
"Wow dude, you smoke?" Kenny asked, a little surprised to see him smoking.
"Yeah, I steal 'em from my dad. Why? You don't"
"Sure I do, it's just that...It's just that I've never seen an other kid smoke too."
"Oh..well anyway, I could go for a beer. Let's go back to my place and watch some TV huh?" Kenny agreed and with that they left.
Well, that's my chapter. Sorry if I made any mistake's. As a guy once said : "To err is human, to..." "to..." You know what? Screw you guys I'm going home.
But seriously, hope you liked my chapter. Read, review and enjoy!