Ch. 4

AN: sorry this took so long! I had a little bit of writer's block. Oh and yikes, there might be some puzzle pieces that don't quite fit with this chapter with the last because I happened to get James' and Lily's birthdays confused. It's best just to roll with it.

James walked down the street of which Lily lived. Even though she never told him where she lived, he knew that she lived in some proximity of his favorite hook-nosed Slytherin and he definitely knew where he lived. All he had to do was simply ask a passer-by for the Evan's residence. The kind fellow was more than happy to point out the residence. James made a mental note that muggles were ignorant.

"I very well could have been a Death Eater and was looking to attack poor Lily," he mused as he walked up the driveway to Lily's house. "Muggles should be more aware of their surroundings."

Judging by the front yard, the Evans family took pride in a curb appeal. Spring flowers were in full bloom and a giant tree graced the small patch of lawn the front yard held. It was Easter break and James was going to put his birthday plan into action.

He happily knocked on the door and gave his hair a ruffle for luck. Parents liked a boyfriend that took the time to make a messy head look drop dead gorgeous and by checking his appearance in the reflective surface of the door knocker, James was indeed, drop dead gorgeous.

"Time magazine's sexiest man alive, here I come!" James said to his reflection. At that moment, the door flew open.

"Are you talking to someone?" The woman on the other side of the door asked. She looked like an older version of Lily's sister, Petunia: tall and pointed. She must be Lily's mother.

"Uh, no," James stammered. What happened to Time Magazine's sexiest man? Pull yourself together, James! Sexy men do not cower in the face of a mother. They are chill as a cucumber and show they are a safe choice for any young lady. I knew I should have painted a giant white check mark on me. That's the last time I take wardrobe advice from the pool boy.

James ran a nervous hand through his untidy hair. Lily's mother was starting to become impatient. She had a purse in her had and a set of keys in the other. She was obviously going somewhere and James was holding her up.

"What do you want, young man?"

"You must be Mrs. Evans," James started over again, his cool fully intact.

"What gave you that assumption?"

"I am James Poter and I am here to see Lily, is she home?" James' eye twitched at the sound of his own mouth mispronouncing his last name.

"Poter?"

"Potter, sorry." James planted one of his charming smiles that makes anyone's heart melt. Except Lily, of course. That girl is made of stronger stuff.

"And what do you want with my daughter?" Mrs. Evens asked coldly. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. Apparently, Lily's James deflector came from her mother. This might not end well.

"To take her to dinner," James continued with his smile. Hey, it has to work eventually.

"Hmph," Mrs. Evans closed the door behind her and walked out to her muggle transportation machine. James believe it was called a 'car.' The woman drove away.

"Does that mean 'no'?" James muttered to himself. What if Lily was in the contraption? If she was, then why didn't she say something. Then, a shocking though came to James, "what if she's with Snivellus?"

James clutched his chest and doubled over. "Heart atack, surly!" he said to himself. When he realized there was no one around to watch his dramatic reaction, he deemed it pointless and straightened up. He figured he should see if Lily was home anyways and knocked on the door. Lily came to the door.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"With that attitude, nothing," James turned to leave. He glanced a look over his shoulder to see if she was going to call him back. She didn't

"I come here and surprise you and even brought a gift, and what do you do? You bite my head off!" James yelled, letting anger send a haze over himself.

"How did you even know where I lived?" Lily called back. She really looked like she didn't want James there, like she was hiding something. It was then James noticed she was wearing a bathrobe.

"I asked," James replied. "And speaking of asking, why are you in a bathrobe? Did you just get up or something? At 2 o'clock in the afternoon."

"No, I woke up at 7, like I always do. Why I'm in a bathrobe is none of your business!" Lily shouted. She was about to go inside when she realized that she, in a roundabout way, confessed to having an affair. An affair that never happened.

Sighing in defeat, Lily invited James inside.

"So, why are you in a bathrobe?" James asked, looking around.

"I was taking a shower. You said you had a present for me?" Lily inquired. Maybe if she could make James feel like his quest has been fulfilled, he won't ask anymore questions.

James nodded and pulled out the large box of which had the dress and lava lamp, "it's your birthday present." He handed her the present.

"My birthday was four months ago," Lily stated plainly. She unwrapped the box and aw the lava lamp and dress...that looked to be either too big or too small.

"Yes, well your birthday didn't really fit in with my plans, so I gave you a new one," James said. "Tonight, I will take you to dinner and we shall have lots of fun because it is your birthday. Happy Birthday."

"You changed my birthday to fit your plans?"

"Yes, but since you seem to have other plans, I guess I'll just have to see if my mother has anything planned. She said something about meeting with a lawyer to draft a living will."

"That's horrible. You make that sound so normal," Lily looked at James with a look of surprise. He may be a lot of things, but heartless wasn't one of them.

"Well, she's been sick, like my dad was, and she thinks she needs to get her things in order," James' eyes shined over, trying hard not to cry. His father had passed away back in February and with his mum having the same illness he had, it was safe to say, she will be leaving this world soon as well.

Lily wrapped her arms around James, comforting him. He leaned into her accepting the comfort. She knew what it was like to lose a father. Her father died in a car accident in her fourth year. School was her only pillow.

There was a ring throughout the house and James jumped, "what was that?"

"The doorbell," Lily laughed a little.

"You charmed the door to ring?"

"It's not a charm," Lily looked like whoever was at the door, needed to disappear, immediately.

"Your company?" James asked. Awkward fog was thick in the house.

"Yeah," lily said glumly. "I kinda wish you didn't decide today to be my second birthday."

"Why?"

"Because...I have something I have to do," Lily looked over at the door as the bell rang throughout the house again. "Hang on,"

"Lily, wait," James called, he had a bad feeling about this 'company.'

"What?"

"You're not a Death Eater right? I mean, ole Snivelly didn't get to you, did he?"

"No, he didn't," Lily said in her glum voice. She pulled the door open and slipped outside.

James, who was paranoid with this secret visitor, sneaked over to the window and saw a party of what looked to be seven girls. Not only that, but all these girls had a suitcase that looked like they would be staying...or moving in.

James took a more interested eye at the girls themselves. Five of the seven were blonde, the other two brunette. Three of the girls looked slightly orange. Scratch that, really orange. The other four looked a little tan, but with and orange hue. All girls had spotlight bright white teeth. This could only mean one thing.

"I'm in love with a space alien from the galaxy Andromeda!" James whispered to himself. What's more: she must be an assassin vigilante alien that, on her home planet, tried to free her people from some tyranny of a royal family but was caught. Before she was sentenced to death, no, worse than death? What's worse than death? Constant sun exposure and therefore painful sunburn. His poor Lily flower would be a succulent lobster that James dips in rich lemon garlicky butter sauce forever. Did they have lobster at that restaurant he made reservations for? All this talk of Lily's home planet of Boxiclustertosisix was making James' mouth water for a hearty lobster. Anyways, Lily, playing one last card trick, escaped to Earth, but was probably informed that the search squad was already on Earth looking for her. She must have refused his advances all these years because she thought he was on the search squad that was going to take her back to Boxiclustertosisix where she will be ginge all over for the rest of her miserable life.

These people she is meeting with must be her allies. What if their telling her that it was safe to return home? James couldn't let Lily leave Earth, let alone the Milky Way. He still needed to make babies with her and then, in a final stand off against Voldemort, die! If she leaves, his life will be unfulfilled.

The girls were ushered into the house and James dove behind a curtain, "this is a bad place to be in," James said to himself, thinking of the poor fate that had befallen Polonius in one of Lily's books. Holding his breath, the messy haired boy stayed completely still as he heard the gaggle of giggling girls run up the stairs.

"James?" Lily called softly. Was this the moment where she will turn on him? Will he, James something that was never listed on the Lexicon Potter, be taken prisoner by this assassin fugitive? One thing's certain: he couldn't stay behind the curtain.

"Hey there Lils," James said timidly. "Did I ever tell you how much I lover you? That you mean the world to me?"

"Several times," Lily replied. Then added, "I love you too. I probably should have explained this earlier." She paused. "I kind of can't do anything today because I have a...a... beauty pageant."

The last words were barely a whisper and she said them with her eyes closed, but James was pretty sure he heard her right. "You said beauty pageant, right?"

"Yeah, I've been doing them since I was 12. My mum said it would be a good way to boost my self esteem and get some confidence in myself, so I tried it. It's alright. I mean, I would rather not. I would love to go to dinner with you, but my mum already signed me up for it so I kind of have to."

James nodded, "so you get on a stage and have people rate how pretty you are based off of a scale of one to ten?"

"Basically," Lily looked down at her slippered feet. If there was one thing that she would keep from James until the day she died was her double life as a pageant girl.

"That's completely criminal!"

"I didn't think it's all that bad."

"Well, no, I mean a scale of one to ten is completely criminal. You're at least a 20, 20 million that is," James gave her a wry smile. Lily took a deep breath feeling a huge pressure leave her chest. James decided this was the time to take full advantage of what probably will be the least amount of clothing he will catch Lily in for a long time.

AN: wow, that was really long. Hope it wasn't painstakingly long. So, I kind of need ideas for next chapter. If you have one, shoot it at me! Just don't literally shoot it. Leave a review!