Ch. 9

"Hello, fair young maiden," James said, sitting down across from Lily. It was breakfast and Lily was less than pleased to have her least favorite person in the entire world sitting across form her. It messed with her digestion and Activia wouldn't be invented for another 30 years.

"What do you want, Potter?" she snapped. she put a good scowl on her face. Naye if she concentrated enough, James Potter would explode and she would dance in the rain...rain of parts.

"I really need to write my shrink again," she mumbled to herself.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing, what do you want?"

"Well, I just thought you were wondering if you could roll with us," James said cooly, a look of arrogance on his face.

"Us?"

"You know, my friends, comrades, companions, entourage, if you will. It's high time you kick ole Snivellus to the curb there."

"And what makes you think I would 'roll' with you," Lily felt her cheeks flush with anger.

"Because you match the criteria," James continued.

"Which would be?"

"Hot and dangerous."

Lily rolled her eyes and gave up trying to masticate her blueberry muffin. She grabbed her school bag and marched out of the Great Hall. She was a prefect that needed to study for her OWLs and didn't care too much for being 'hot and dangerous.' However, this meant she would have to hide her hot pants. No one can no about her new dancing routine for her next beauty pageant.

"Hello, Lily Evans,"a girl from Ravenclaw, along with some 30 other girls suddenly walked in front of Lily. Lily, defensively pulled out her wand, she didn't want to be picked on for being a muggle born again. Although, that hasn't happened since third year, still, it was their lives or hers and she valued her life a little more than theirs.

"What now!"

"Don't worry, we're not going to hurt you. We were just wondering if you would like to make James Potter shut up?"

"More than anything."

"Then come with us, we have a plan to put that cauldron bum of a Gryffindor in his place," the Ravenclaw girl continued. Lily had no idea what they wanted from her, but if it meant getting back at Potter...

"I'm in," Lily said. She followed the group to the Room of Requirement.

*That Saturday*

Lily stalked down the stairs in her 'casual' wear. Every guy that saw her whistled and she would return the favor with a wink. Spotting her best friend, Severus, she took a small detour from her mission to talk to him.

Severus' mouth hung on a hinge when he saw Lily walking up to him. She was wearing a short, strapless dark green dress that hugged every curve on her body. Her flaming red hair was curled and pulled up in a fashion that had curls waterfall down her back.

"Morning Sevy!"

"Hi," Severus swallowed hard, wiping his palms on his robes

"Do you like my outfit? I'm going to stick that pig-headed Potter in his place," Lily explained. She pulled the top of her dress up, even though it wasn't falling. She had never worn a dress so revealing, but she knew how to act the part.

"Nice." Severus sputtered out. He shifted awkwardly, turned around a quickly walked in the opposite direction. Lily frowned, wondering why he was acting strange, but remembered she was supposed to be making a grand entrance in the Great Hall. She walked in her catwalk fashion that she uses for pageants to really get students to stop and stare.

Lily continued on her quest, winking at every guy that passed her. She even had a few of them, what with their raging teenage boy hormones and all, followed her around. One audacious seventh year even put his arm around her shoulders. When Lily's new entourage walked calmly past the Marauders without so much as a glance, James' face twisted and contorted in away that Lily never thought possible.

"Can I get you some orange juice Lily?" a Hufflepuff boys asked.

"You can get back to your own house is what you can do!" James snapped. Every inch of his body was shaking with rage. The hufflepuff, being a fourth year and therefore, inferior to the fifth year status James held, backed off.

"Lily! Why are you dressed like that?" James demanded.

"Because I want to be," Lily smeared marmalade on a buttered piece of toast. The seventh year boy still had his arm around her.

"Who is that?" James pointed at the seventh year boy.

"Paul."

"Paul?"

"No, not 'Paul,' Pa-ul," Lily corrected.

"Oh, so sexy," James scoffed. "Why is it Pa-ul?"

"Because 'pow' is the sound my fist makes so that you'll get out of my face!" Paul answered, shaking his fist.

"He's a seventh year," Lily chimed in.

"Uh, Lils? I hate to break this to you, but he doesn't even go to this school!"

Lily turned to Paul, "you told me you were a seventh year."

"I am a seventh year, even though I graduated four years ago," Paul explained.

"Oh really? What are you? A super seventh year?" James raised an eyebrow.

"No, I've been a black belt for seven years and I think you've over stayed your welcome," Paul stood up, grabbed James, and twisted him into a pretzel.

"Wow, Paul, you're really strong," Lily accepted Paul's arm and they walked out of the Great Hall together, leaving James in a twisted, broken heap.

Lily awoke with a start. She felt her heart racing in her chest and rolled over. It was only 2 o'clock in the morning. Lily looked down at the floor, focusing on slowing her heart down. She realized how messy the floor was. There were articles of clothing littered everywhere. She grabbed her wand from the bedside and gave it a little wave. The clothes were rounded up and put into a neat pile in the hamper.

"James, James, wake up!" Lily said, shaking her husband for about a week.

"Mmm, what?" James mumbled, half asleep.

"Promise me that we'll never name our son Paul?" Lily whispered.

"What?"

"Promise?"

"Lily, I doubt you can get pregnant in the course of...6 hours. So, why are you bringing up baby names?" James adjusted his pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

"I'm just saying, I don't want a child named Paul."

"Why not? What's wrong with the name Paul?" James asked, hoping Lily would just go back to sleep.

"Not Paul, Pa-ul."

"Fine, why is Pa-ul a bad name?"

"Because he'll grow up to be a bully and pick on people younger than he is, just because he can," Lily frowned. James wasn't taking this as serious as she was and it was irritating her.

"Lily, just because you name someone Pa-ul, doesn't mean they're going to grow up to be a bully," James paused. "What brought this up anyways?" He finally turned to face her.

"I had a horrible dream about a bully name Paul," Lily admitted.

"You had a dream that we had a son named Pa-ul, and he was a bully?"

"No, he wasn't our son. He was just this guy. I was there and you were there. I was a slut."

"You're not a slut," James said, pulling her closer and kissing the top of her shoulder. "Where's my boxers?"

"The hamper," Lily said, sleep rolling back over her.

"Why?" James said, refusing to hide his annoyance. What's the point in having sex if your undies weren't on standby for when you were done?

"I put them there," Lily answered, she figured that since she woke him up, she would ignore his put out tone.

"I wasn't done wearing those," James reached into the hamper, trying to salvage kidnapped undies.

"James!"

"What? I want those boxers."

"Get a new pair!" Lily demanded. She wondered why she married him. Was it too soon in their marriage to be wondering such thoughts? Answer: no. James Potter was still a toe rag. He was just her toe rag, now. And forever and ever and ever. If he so much as thought about leaving or dying, she would kidnap him in the middle of the night, drag him to her basement, tie him up, and force him to live the rest of his days out there. No one leaves Lily Evans. Lily Evens...Potter, leaves you.

AN: songs that inspired this chapter: "We R Who We R" Ke$ha, "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" Shania Twian, "Stuck Like Glue" Sugarland, "Livin La Vida Loca" Ricky Martin, and "Una Noche" 98 Degrees. Although this chapter didn't go exactly as I planned again, but this turned out for the better. Next chapter for sure will be where I want to be...finally. Please review!