Ch. 12

Warning: Sexy time for Sirius implied.

James stealthily dashed down the hallway. He was dressed in all back and was enjoying what he felt was the lifestyle of a ninja. He even had the face mask and num chucks. What he was going to do with num chucks, he had no idea, but he would find something.

Unlike a ninja, James was carrying some extra baggage. There was a backpack with all his necessary supplies in his hand and his six month old son, Harry, strapped to his back. Although Harry wasn't exactly in the original plan, he was up and would most likely tell Lily on him if he didn't let the tike tag along. For a baby of only six months, James felt that his own son will be his match when it came to mischief.

James crept up the stairs to Sirius' room to fulfill his mission. He was finally going to get back at him for tricking him 11 months ago. He had been waiting for the perfect day, and not even his mischievous son could prevent him from succeeding.

He poked his head into his friend's room and dismounted his son. Even though the man was still asleep, Harry falls asleep watching other people sleep. It was impossible to prank your friend when your son kept saying 'moo' everywhere he went. James still wondered where Harry got that from. He suspected Lily since she would take him on her walks and she usually passed a man that had a cow on his front lawn.

James waited for Harry to drift off to sleep on his stuffed Hungarian Horntail that he took with him when they went to meet with the Order. He would play with it with Neville Longbottom and Ron Weasley James figured that the boy thought he was on his way over there.

Backing out back into the hallway, the man set to work on the scene. He unzipped the backpack and started littering the women's clothing that was inside all over the hall. Then, he found what Sirius was wearing the previous night (since it was his birthday), and threw that in the hall too.

While making sure his handiwork was convincing, he heard a vacuum turnon in Sirius' room. He dashed into the room and found Harry sitting on the bed (how did he get there?), trying to pull his toy out of the hose. When he had freed the trapped dragon, the hose fell on Sirius' neck. James flicked his wand at the vacuum and the device shut off.

"Who the hell keeps a vacuum in their bedroom!" James exclaimed in a whisper. He grabbed Harry and strapped the boy back onto his back. He wasn't sure which was more unbelievable: the fact that he turned his back on his son for one minute, and he managed to get himself into trouble, or the fact that after all that noise, Sirius was still asleep.

"He is some heavy sleeper," James said to his back. He inspected his friend's neck and noticed the mark it left. A wicked smile spread across James' face. "Harry, son, I think you are a brilliant chip off the old block, you know that? I can't wait for the letters from school to start rolling in on the magnificent pranks you will undoubtedly pull."

James turned that vacuum back on and put the hose on Sirius' leg, arm, and stomach. It was a good thing the vacuum was so loud. James needed something to drown out his laughter. After the vacuum, James worked a little magic with a tube of lipstick and Sirius' lower back. He crept out of the house, unable to hide his anticipation for the hours to come.

*2 hours later*

"PRONGS!" Sirius cried, running out of the fireplace. James looked up from the quidditch scores page in the Prophet, Lily looked over from feeding Harry a spoonful of applesauce, and Harry stuck his head out in attempt to get the food on the hoovering spoon, into his mouth.

Sirius burst into the room. The look of fear and shock was all over his face, turning him into a nervous wreck.

"Sirius, what happened?" Lily asked, voice filled with concern.

"I don't know!" Sirius sobbed. Lily ushered him into a chair and fixed him a plate of : Captain Sausage on the USS Wheat Toast with delicious marmalade with and egg, tomato, and cheese omelet. James had insisted on making breakfast and Lily knew he was up to something, but was still figuring out what.

"Start from the beginning," Lily said, turning back to Harry, who had started crying because the spoon hadn't moved into his mouth.

"I woke up and I immediately felt like something wasn't right. I couldn't quite see what was wrong, so I just decided to go take a shower and it would come to me. Right as I headed to the door I noticed a shoe," Sirius paused and gulped down some of the toast boat and omelet.

"Not your shoe, I'm assuming," James tried to sound serious.

Sirius shook his head, "it was this six inch thigh high boot. And when I looked in the hall, I found clothes."

Lily gasped, "Sirius! Did you...?" She turned her head to the side and saw a mark on his neck.

"I think so. And not just anyone."

"Death Eater?" James suggested.

"No," Sirius looked at his plate in disgust. "I don't think it's something I should say with Harry present." The looks on James and Lily's face told him they could fill in the blank themselves. He stood up and walked around. Trying to regain composure, he put his hands behind his head, lifting his shirt a little. Lily squealed, grabbed Harry and left the room.

"What?" Sirius frantically encircled himself to see what the problem was. James took a mirror, put it to his friend's lower back and read the lipstick message aloud.

"Thanx for last night you insane beast

xoxo

Original G-String, AKA Crowd Pleeza"

"Who the hell is 'Crowd Pleeza'!" Sirius almost started to sob again.

"You know," James said, frowning, "that doesn't sound as good out loud as it did in my head."

Sirius whipped around to stare at the messy haired man in the face. He couldn't for a sentence he was so mad.

"That–you–JAMES I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" He finally roared.

"Moo!" Harry cried from the other room.

AN: I had a different ending in mind where Sirius would ask Harry for his help the following week where Lily will be at a cousin's bachelorette party, setting up a parallel to my story "Trouble Begins with and H" but this was too good to ruin. I would just like to thank Sean Spencer from Psych for creating the name "Original G-String AKA Crowd Pleeza" I don't own Psych or HP. One chapter left! Review.