3. The Plan

I've been asked to explain the steam. Best I can do: it's supposed to be what you get when you mix fire and water; hence, the elemental symbol for Zutara. However, in the immortal words of Astoria Goode, "One person told me, 'When you pour water on fire it creates steam!' or something among those lines. And I'm like, 'No, it just creates a really big mess what with the ashes and the smoke and the charred wood and all…'"

I hope you don't mind me using your words—it's just you phrased it so beautifully ^_^ There's the steam, folks. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Don't own A:tLA.

"It's like I said before," Sokka said, clapping his hands together. "The basis of this plan is scandal."

He spoke as if a stadium-sized crowd was clinging to his every word. In fact, it was only Toph and Ty Lee, sitting in crates in front of him: the former sitting cross-legged in front of him and looking politely disinterested; the latter staring up at him while she swayed slowly, balancing on her hands. The three of them had taken refuge in the wine cellar of the Fire Nation palace to scheme—with the Summer's End Ball fast approaching, it was one of the only quiet places free to stake out.

"Our attack comes in three stages," Sokka continued, glancing down at the scroll in his hand. It had long strings of notes and tactics scrawled across it, a couple sketches of the ballroom, and a diagram of the Aang/Katara/Zuko love triangle. Oh, and a small note in the corner: 'hi cutie! xoxo Ty Lee'. He was no longer quite sure he should have enlisted her help, but it was a bit late for that. "The first," he explained, looking back up, "is reconnaissance, the second is the direct offensive, and the final stage is the clincher."

"Did you practice this talk?"

"Quiet in front," he said lamely, glaring at Toph. "The purpose of Stage One, as you both know, is to uncover any past scandals of 'Z's, namely of the, erm, female variety."

Toph snorted and Ty Lee giggled, and a flush that started at his neck rose slowly up through Sokka's face. Quickly he looked down at his paper again, if for no reason but to keep from looking at them. "Stage Two: 'Z' gets caught by 'K' fraternizing—scandalously—with other female persons. And Stage Three—"

He'd have sworn he could hear Toph rolling her eyes. "This better not involve the word scandalous, Sokka."

He pressed his lips together, scratching a hurried line through a word on the paper, before looking back up. "It's Agent Wolf to you—and no, of course it doesn't. Stage three: 'Z' catches 'K' and 'A' sharing scandalo—erm, intimate moment during dance. 'A' and 'K' are reunited, and any associations between 'Z' and 'K', present or future, are successfully undone. Mission, complete."

Ty Lee raised a hand to her mouth to whistle-cheer loudly, and Sokka allowed himself a grin before continuing. "Agent Rose," he said, raising an eyebrow at her in a manner he considered very debonair, "what's the status of Stage One?"

"Good!" she chirped, flipping up onto her feet. "I talked to Iroh, and apparently there's this girl Jin that Zuko totally hooked up with while they were all in Ba Sing Se. She sounds majorly cute, right, and Iroh said they had dinner, and when Zuko came back," she finished, lowering her voice, "he was smiling."

She paused a beat for emphasis, looking crestfallen when Toph and Sokka didn't react. "Guys, Zuko! Smiling! He doesn't, like, do that! This is a big deal!"

"Girl has a point," Toph mused. "This is Sparky while he was in his super-emotional phase. If he was actually smiling..."

Ty Lee nodded solemnly. "Like, with teeth and everything."

"Then this has promise," Sokka finished. "So we write to this girl, and get her to show up at the ball." A glance down gave him a full view of the skepticism in Toph's face, but he shrugged it off. "This isn't a time for subtleties, guys. We're going to have to hit them with everything we've got. Jin's just our front line."

She smirked. "Of course. Full steam ahead."

A vessel in Sokka's temple began to pound, and Toph, feeling his blood pressure kick up a couple notches, allowed herself an innocent grin. Her friend took a breath through his nose and let it out, counting mentally to ten. "Iroh'll be able to contact her, right?" he asked loudly, of Ty Lee.

She beamed. "Already done, boss. Sent Hawky off and everything."

"Good work, Agent Rose. Right." Sokka rubbed his hands together, forehead furrowing into his plotting face. "Stage Two is slightly different. This is the direct offensive: Stage One stirs up a little mistrust, but this stage is deliberately crafted to drive them apart completely."

"Snoozles, you're getting way too into this."

But to her surprise, instead of getting all twitchy and aggravated like she'd expected, Sokka smiled at her. "Actually, Agent Rocky, I think you'll be pretty interested in this next part."

Toph paled slightly—and since at best, she had the complexion of a sickly ghost, this was saying a lot. "See, we need to drive a wedge between the two of them," Sokka continued, "and I can't think of a better person for this particular job."

"This better not be going where I think it is, Sokka."

He was enjoyed it too much even to correct 'Agent Wolf'. "So—for the sake of the plan, you understand—you are going to kiss 'Z'."

"You're joking," Toph deadpanned, just Ty Lee's head snapped up, her eyes wide. "Oh!" she blurted. "Oh! I'll kiss him!"

"No, and no," Sokka said firmly, to one and then the other. "You can't, Agent Rose; Kat… 'K' won't fall for it. You…" He paused, struggling. His first thought was actually, You'll kiss anything that moves, but suspecting that wouldn't do it, he finished, "You're too good a friend of Mai's to do that, even though they're not together."

"And I'm Zuko's friend!" Toph snapped.

Ty Lee blinked. "And I'm not?"

"Hey!" Sokka raised his hands, momentarily catching both girls' attention. "Hold on. Ty Lee," he said, "can I have a second to talk this over with To… Agent Rocky?"

Maybe she caught his pleading look, and maybe she simply decided to humor him and let the Agent Rose slip slide. Whatever the case, Ty Lee paused and then winked conspiratorially—Sokka had no idea what she was trying to say, but gave her a weak grin in return—and then the gymnast flipped up onto her hands in one swift motion, teetering out the door. Sokka glanced down at Toph. She sat on the ground in front of him, arms so tightly crossed it seemed unlikely she would ever be able to unknot them. "Okay," she said as he took his own seat, before he could even get out a word, "no."

"Agent Rocky, it's a crucial part of Stage—"

"And why do I have to do it?"

"It's not supposed to be a big deal!"

"Then why can't you do the kissing instead?"

Sokka raised an eyebrow, letting what she'd just said sink in. "Right," said Toph a moment later, ducking her head, and Sokka agreed uncomfortably, "That's wrong no matter how you look at it."

"Okay," she sighed. "Fine. But just think about it for a second. Even if Sparky never finds out whose plan this was, he's my friend. I can't kiss him in front of Sugarqueen. He'll blame me for the whole breakup if I do, and I don't want to deal with him when he's moody. Did enough of that six months ago. 'Sides," she added sullenly, "kissing your friend'd just be... awkward."

And somewhere in there, Sokka realized, was a really good point. They didn't want fingerprints on this scheme, let alone lip-prints, and if anyone knew Toph was involved, it didn't take the Fire Lord to figure out Sokka had a hand in it too. They needed to avoid direct contact with the enemy, he resolved, and crossed out a line of notes on the page.

"Kissing your friend," he echoed. "That's awkward?"

She nodded ferociously.

"Would kissing me be awkward?"

It took Toph a moment to form a response. "Gwhaa?" she mumbled, sounding like she was choking on her tongue, and then, "Is this... relevant?"

"You don't want to kiss Zu—ah, 'Z'," he shrugged. "Fair enough. But Ka… I mean, 'K'—"

She seemed to regain some of her edge as he stuttered, relaxing again—though not quite all the way. "Sokka, no one's listening. You can say their names."

He sighed, conceding the point to her. "Here's the thing: Katara just needs to think she's seeing Zuko. And you're right; you kissing him is too obvious. But if it wasn't really Zuko…"

She was quiet for so long he was about to clarify further, but at last she spoke, saving him a fresh heap of discomfort. "You think I should… you know, get caught with you."

A nod.

"You, dressed as Sparky."

Another nod.

It was a Spirits-awful plan. She knew it. So she really had no excuse.

But there were some opportunities one didn't pass up.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea."

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