Author: LadyFromPoland

Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.

Warning: SLASH

English is not my mother language.

This chapter a little bit late. Sorry! It can happen again but it's not only my fault. I hope you'll forgive me. :)

Dearest to his heart

Chapter 7

"Built on lies"

Arthur woke up before the dawn, after few hours of sleep, and couldn't fall asleep again. However lack of sleep wasn't as frustrating as the strange feeling somewhere deep inside him. It was telling him that he didn't like the idea of Merlin and Morgana ending up together. The king was aware that his confusion was childish. He, after all, was supposed to be happy that the girl, who he had known all his life, and the man, that he considered his best friend, founded their happiness. The things, however, weren't so easy. The feeling was strangely similar to sadness and it scared Arthur. Suddenly he wanted everything to come back to normal. He thought, what was very selfish, that he was going to lose Merlin. The warlock would never again be just his friend. The dark haired man would belong to Morgana in the first place. There was not going to be their typical chats until the late hours any more. Not that they were enjoying them recently.

The reason why he had wanted to go to Merlin the day before was because he really missed their jokes and conversations. Now he knew that he had to fill the gap. If his relations with Merlin was about to change, he wasn't going to show him that he would feel lonely because of that. Arthur had his royal pride. That thought reminded him of Miranda. The king enjoyed her companionship a lot but he hadn't wanted to rush the things. Now he thought that he would change his mind. Arthur wasn't sure if he really liked that idea but it gave him a fake sense of control over his life and a slightly bitter satisfaction.

The king tried very hard to convince himself that everything would eventually end well. He had faced so many dangers in his life so some obscure feelings weren't supposed to change anything. He still was going to be the same Arthur Pendragon who would do his best to rule fairly in his kingdom and to protect his subjects. The annoying confusion that he was feeling now was going to disappear soon. At least Arthur hoped so.

oOoOo

Morgana woke up quite early. She remembered that Merlin needed her, even though he didn't want to admit it. The sorceress feared that he would try to avoid her. She, however, wasn't going to let him. That was why she prepared herself quickly, not waiting for Lizzie, and went straight to Court Magician's chambers.

Her little fears faded away in the moment when she came into his friend's room. The boy, because he didn't look then like a man, was sleeping in his bed, murmuring something. At first Morgana thought that she woke him up by accident but when she came closer she understood her mistake. Merlin was whispering Arthur's name in such a way that it would have melted hearts of many adult men.

The woman sat on the edge of his bed and couldn't help crying. There were only a few tears but they were very honest.

"Oh, Merlin..." she whispered, wishing that Arthur could have seen him now. Then the king would have probably understood everything.

Morgana sighed. Life wasn't so easy.

Merlin woke up an hour later. He was astonished to see the sorceress but didn't ask her about it. He was probably aware of what was going to happen now.

"I know that you don't want to but we need to talk," she said softly.

The man looked down at the blanket.

"You can't escape it," Morgana assured him. "And you know that."

"What do you exactly want from me?" Merlin asked her suddenly.

Morgana smiled lightly. "I want you to believe in yourself. I want you to stop Arthur from making the greatest mistake of his life." She put her hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Arthur cannot marry Miranda. It will destroy everything what Camelot is destined to. With such queen the kingdom will never become the place that you and Arthur have been building."

"Morgana... If he wants to marry Miranda, he will. No matter what I say." Merlin's voice was trembling. He suffered more than he would ever admit.

"Arthur respects your words," the woman assured him. "Besides he does not really want to marry her. I'm afraid, however, Miranda will make him think that he wants."

"He likes her very much!" Merlin cried. "He spends most of his time with her! He forgot about me! He..." The warlock's voice broke. "He does not care for me any more."

"It's all Miranda's influence," Morgana said quietly. "He treats her special because she is the princess... a guest... And she uses his kindness."

Merlin shook his head. "No, you're wrong," he said.

"Miranda wants you to believe that," the sorceress assured him. "She knows how much Arthur cares for you. She knows that if you tell him not to marry her, he will not."

"Don't give me false hope, Morgana!" Merlin almost begged her.

"I don't," the woman said firmly. "Miranda treats you like a danger. She tries to break you because as a broken man you will not care any more."

"Maybe I don't want to care!" the warlock shouted angrily. "Maybe I'm fed up with my destiny and everything else?"

"You don't really think that." Morgana stood up slowly. "Think about what I've told you. Please..." Then she went out of the chamber.

Merlin buried his head in the pillow, pretending that there was no tears in his eyes. After all Arthur had once said to him that no man was worth them. The sorcerer wanted to believe it. He wanted it so much.

oOoOo

Arthur watched Camelot through the window, waiting for dinner. He tried not to think about anything but his people. However time after time he recalled Merlin. The king couldn't believe that so many things were connected with his friend. It was even a bit frightening.

"What are you thinking about?" He heard suddenly Miranda's voice.

The blonde turned around and looked at the beautiful woman in front of him. He made himself smile because he was not in a mood to do it naturally.

"You've come too early, Miranda," the king said. "The servants haven't brought the meals yet."

"It doesn't matter," the woman assured him. "Waiting for private dinner with you is a pleasure," she said sweetly.

"You're always so nice." Arthur took her by the arm and led her towards the chair.

"That's all me," Miranda answered, laughing lightly. "But we should leave compliments for another time. You look a bit disturbed."

"That's nothing." The king wasn't going to confide in the princess about his strange feelings. It would be simply awkward and improper. Besides he didn't want anybody to know about his hidden weaknesses.

"There must be something." Miranda didn't want to let go of the occasion. "Is it something about your kingdom?" she asked innocently.

"Yes." Arthur lied. "But you shouldn't bother about it."

"I should," the woman said firmly. "You might have not noticed it, but Camelot and her people are very dear to me." Her hand moved towards Arthur's. "That place is almost like my own home. I care for your kingdom as if I've grown here." She smiled charmingly. "Camelot is strong but it can be stronger. I'm not going to rush any things, we've got time after all, but maybe we should think more seriously about the union of our kingdoms?"

Arthur's heart quickened but not because of excitation or something similar. He looked at Miranda's beautiful face carefully and couldn't help thinking that something was wrong.

Knocking on the door prevented him from answering. Two servants came in and served them dinner. One of them stayed in the chamber to pour the chalices and Arthur was surprisingly glad. His conversation with Miranda became a light one. The serious topics weren't going to be touched when someone else was around.

The princess wasn't irritated at all. She liked that turn of events. It could make an impression that nothing really was rushed. Besides Arthur's light confusion was funny to watch.

When they finished and the servant left, taking the plates, Miranda came up to the window and started watching the city, pretending that she deeply cared for it.

"Camelot is beautiful," she whispered. "You've created a great place."

"That's not only my merit. The former kings... my friends and people... We all did it," he said, feeling that it was true.

"You're modest." Miranda sighed and turned lightly to look at his face. "Camelot has been a powerful kingdom for years but it became truly great in time of your reign. It's not only a power... These people... they respect you and love without fear. This is something what many kings wanted to achieve but only a few succeed."

Arthur felt a bit shamefaced. Miranda knew how to pull the strings to make him keen on something what normally he wouldn't have wanted.

"You mentioned the union of our kingdoms..." the blonde said suddenly.

"I did," the princess agreed, hiding her smirk.

"I believe that your father wants us to get married." Arthur didn't look at her. There was something what didn't let him. "But as you said... we don't have to rush any things. Marriage is an important decision. I cannot make it on the spot," he explained. "I'm sure you'd like to hear my declaration but I can't give it to you. Not now..."

Miranda was irritated. It was supposed to end in the other way. However she hid her true feelings perfectly. "I understand," she lied smoothly. The woman touched king's arm tenderly and smiled at him. "People need to get used to that possibility. We need it too..."

Arthur nodded. "Exactly."

"But please, remember one thing," she said softly.

"What is it?" the king asked.

The woman stood on her toes and whispered into his ear, "I'm always here for you." Then she moved slightly and stole a soft kiss from his lips.

Arthur was too astonished to do anything. He could just stare at her and feel confused.

oOoOo

"You kissed him, my lady!" Kiara was very excited. "Finally!"

"It was a simple kiss. Nothing dirty," Miranda said with a light amusement. "I didn't want to scare him off. Arthur needs to get used to it."

The maidservant couldn't help giggling.

"Now you need to make me look stunning," the princess told the girl.

"Another meeting with the king?" Kiara asked curiously.

"No," Miranda answered, smirking. "I'm going to share good news with our dear Merlin." She looked at her reflection in the mirror, waiting for the touch of hairbrush. When Kiara started doing her hair, she continued. "A little torture... I love seeing the pain in his eyes."

"He dared to occupy king Arthur's heart which should belong to you," the maid said suddenly.

The princess chuckled. "And that's indeed a crime."

oOoOo

Miranda came into Merlin's room as if it was her own chamber. She didn't knock or give him any other warning.

The sorcerer looked up from his book. His eyes went wide when he saw who paid him a visit. "Get out," he hissed. "I don't have time."

"That wasn't too nice," Miranda said, coming closer. "I'm your guest and you'll treat me as one."

"You don't behave as a guest," Merlin murmured bitterly. "I'm not going to pretend that you are one. Just tell me what you want and leave me at peace. "

The princess laughed. "You're quite sweet when you're impatient," she said after a while. "And I thought that you are a patient type... At least according to Arthur."

Merlin was glaring at her angrily. He hated when she was playing with his feelings in such a cruel way. It pained even more when he thought that she would have something what he would never have.

"Are you going to say anything?" Miranda asked him. "I've heard that you are talkative." She smirked. "Unless you've already heard the news and it makes you speechless."

"What news?" the sorcerer couldn't help asking.

"Arthur is seriously considering our marriage," the woman said, trying to sound innocently. "I'm pretty sure that he's going to propose to me any time soon."

"You're wrong," Merlin hissed. "Arthur would've told me."

Miranda burst into laughter. "Honestly, Merlin!" she said when she finally calmed down. "When was the last time you and Arthur talk?" the princess asked. "And I mean real talk."

Blood started flowing faster in Merlin's veins. Once again the arrogant princess touched his soft spot.

"I thought so..." The woman shrugged lightly. "You're so weak."

"You've no idea about anything," the warlock snarled. "Everything was fine... great... And then you showed up! You know nothing about friendship and feelings. You..." His voice broke.

The princess watched Merlin's pale face for several seconds, examining its every inch. Then she continued torturing the man slowly. "Haven't you thought that maybe Arthur likes that turn of events?" she asked. "You know... We've kissed today. He was the one who initiated the kiss," she lied smoothly.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't want to listen!" he cried.

Miranda grabbed his trembling hand and looked him in the eye. "Maybe it's time for you to understand," the woman said bitterly. "Arthur craves for my company more than yours. He simply craves me." She lessened her grip. "I starts to wonder... maybe he never liked you," she whispered. "What if he had used you to gain power?"

"No, no, no!" The sorcerer started shivering. "You're lying!" He cried, not wanting to believe it. He had known Arthur for many years. The king was not like this.

However the seed of uncertainty was already planted. Miranda did her job for that day. Merlin was more and more confused and lost. Knowing that, the princess left his chamber. She let him enjoy the pain and loneliness.

I'm sorry again. I know it's more and more angst but that's really the way it has to be. Just blame my cruel imagination.

Now, if you have a while, write to me what you think! Please :)