Author: LadyFromPoland

Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.

Warning: SLASH

English is not my mother language.

I know that Miranda is cruel but you all need to be little more patient. Then, I hope, you won't regret.

Dearest to his heart

Chapter 8

"One good thing"

Merlin didn't sleep at all that night. He kept thinking about Miranda's terrible accusations and couldn't stop. The idea had already taken its root. The man heard princess' words in his head. Her voice had been silent at the very beginning but it grew louder and louder with every lonely minute.

The warlock remembered all those years that he had spent with Arthur. He remembered very well every ebb and flow. However no matter what had happened they still trusted and supported each other. Merlin felt that all the moments that they spent together couldn't be fake. Arthur just couldn't pretend. The blonde hadn't known about Merlin's powers quite long. He couldn't plan to use something of what he had no idea.

That thoughts were rational but Merlin had more and more doubts. Arthur hadn't called the warlock his best friend before he found out. It was the first time when Merlin thought about it this way and it quite frightened him. The fair haired man would have wanted his servant to believe that they were close. He could have even seduced the young boy.

"No! Stop!" Merlin shouted at himself. Arthur had no idea about his feelings. Besides seducing him on purpose was nonsense.

The sorcerer put his forehead on the cold floor. He needed to calm down. Otherwise he would go mad very soon. "Arthur needs my help," he whispered to himself. Merlin needed to strong for Arthur. The warlock didn't care for himself any longer but without him the king would have some troubles soon. Once again Merlin thought that his magic was the only link between him and Arthur.

The pain and hopelessness were strong. He had to fall in love with Arthur of all people. It was frustrating and unfair.

Merlin didn't think clearly when he climbed into the bed and slipped down his pants. In the next second he grabbed his penis and started stroking it fast. All his thoughts were focused on Arthur. He never let himself for crying his friend's name in time of such rare pleasures. He thought that it was unfair. Merlin's feelings for his friend were pure and deep. He always tried to chase the dirty thoughts about them away. However this time he yielded.

Merlin's golden rule was broken and he knew that he would regret it later. However there was no way back any more. His thoughts, dreams, hand and cock were linked in a sinful way. The warlock had already crossed the line.

oOoOo

Arthur woke up in the morning but had no intention of getting out of bed. The world outside his room suddenly seemed unfamiliar. He was going to forget for the next few minutes that he was a king. Camelot would cope without him for a longer while.

The man closed his eyes recalling the events of previous day. Miranda had kissed him. That memory still seemed a bit weird. The princess was a very beautiful and attractive woman but Arthur couldn't help thinking that he hadn't enjoy the kiss as much as he should have.

The king sighed. There was still one thing which haunted his mind. The idea of Merlin and Morgana didn't stop to irritate him. If Arthur had been brave enough to be honest with himself, he would have even admitted that he was angrier. The image of those two just didn't feel good for him.

Normally Arthur would talk with Merlin about his problems. However this time it was impossible. The blonde could not go to his friend and told him that he didn't want him and Morgana to be together. That idea was simply ridiculous. Arthur might have been sometimes selfish but not really so much.

The blonde could of course talk with Merlin about Miranda. However Arthur wasn't sure if he wanted to speak to the warlock at all, remembering about him and Morgana. The king tried to convince himself that he was hurt because Merlin hadn't told him about his lover. Arthur was good at pretending something when it was easier than facing the truth.

oOoOo

It was unexpected and awkward. After some time of avoiding one another, Merlin and Arthur bumped into each other in the corridor. The tension was barely bearable because there were only two of them.

"Merlin..." the king murmured, chasing away the images of him and Morgana from his mind. He wondered if the woman had told her lover that he knew.

"Hello, Arthur," the dark haired man replied, avoiding eye contact. He was afraid that if he had looked the blonde in the eye, he would have found there the confirmation of his fears. Merlin didn't want to know the truth. He didn't want to find out that there was no longer friendship between them and that now it all was about power.

The king noticed Merlin's confusion and something what was very similar to fear. He couldn't help thinking that the other man was afraid of him. Then Arthur thought that the warlock must have known that he knew. The blonde's heart ached with the realisation. Merlin still didn't trust him enough to touch this subject.

"Do you think seriously about Miranda?" the sorcerer asked suddenly. He was himself surprised that he dared.

"Of course." The answer left Arthur's lips immediately, even though it was only partially true. It was obvious that Merlin meant his marriage with Miranda. The truth was that Arthur thought about the princess seriously but still didn't considered her as his future wife. However he didn't want his friend to know that. He wanted the younger man to think that in his life there was also a woman. It gave him a temporary satisfaction.

"Fine," Merlin mumbled. It was a simple lie because nothing about Arthur and Miranda together seemed fine.

Arthur felt disappointed. Some part of him wanted Merlin to say that it was not a good idea. However the blonde quickly hushed that part up. "I need to go," he said abruptly. He felt a sudden urge to run away from Merlin as soon as possible.

"You're busy," the warlock murmured.

"Yes," Arthur answered, feeling horrible.

When the king walked away he started wondering how it happened that their long conversations became short and meaningless. He even wanted to turn around and run back to Merlin. He wanted the answers for all confusing questions. However that urge quickly faded away. Arthur thought that he had to get used to the new situation. Nothing was going to be the same again.

oOoOo

Morgana had the blurry nightmare again. She was quite frightened but not so much as the first time. The sorceress had felt that the dream could be repeated. Such visions never disappeared without a reason. Something very bad was going to happen and she wasn't sure how to stop it. The vision didn't give her any new sign. Everything was exactly the same.

The woman knew that she wouldn't fall asleep soon so she looked at the candle and lit it up with her magic. The light could give her some comfort and she needed it now very much.

Morgana got up slowly. She walked up to the window silently as if her steps could wake somebody up. Then she opened it and let the fresh air in.

The night was beautiful. Million stars were visible in the dark sky. They were like people while the moon looked like their king.

Morgana sighed. She turned her gaze away from the sky and looked over the Camelot. The city was silent. Everything seemed to be like always. Morgana was going to close the window and come back to her thoughts about the dream when she noticed something different. There was a light in Gwen's house. The witch was pretty sure that her friend and Lancelot always slept at that hour. It seemed strange.

Suddenly realisation came to Morgana. Guinevere was in ninth month of pregnancy. She could be in labour at any time. It meant it could be exactly that moment.

The woman swallowed hard as excitation filled her heart. She knew that she wouldn't wait until the morning. She had to find out if her suspicions were right.

Morgana dressed herselfquickly and slipped away from the chamber. Her footsteps aborted silence of the castle. She hoped that none of the guards heard her. She didn't want to waste time for explaining her night stroll. It could end with escorting her to her chamber anyway. Men, especially guards, were sometimes so insensitive.

The sorceress went outside without any problem. The woman thought that she was lucky and was going to continue her walk when someone stood in front of her.

"Lady Morgana?" She heard familiar, male voice.

"Sir Leon..." the woman said innocently.

"I'm sorry but I need to ask... What are you doing outside the castle in the middle of the night, my lady?" The man watched her very carefully.

"Leon," Morgana started hesitantly. "Well... I suspect that my friend Gwen is giving a birth to her first child," she said candidly. "I know that you're a man and probably will not understand my reasons but I just need to see her now."

The knight sighed. "Women..." he mumbled. "If you really need to go to her house right now, I think I'll need to go with you."

"I'm capable of taking care of myself," Morgana assured him.

"I don't doubt it but I insist anyway," he said, making the woman roll her eyes. "I was going to talk with you, Morgana. It's a perfect occasion."

Leon's words interested the sorceress. She looked at him intently and after a while nodded. There was nothing to lost after all. She could be safe with him.

"Why were you going to talk with me?" Morgana asked, walking by his side. "What's happened?"

The man looked ahead. "I don't trust princess Miranda. Everything is different since she's arrived at Camelot," he said honestly. "I don't like it."

"I feel the same," the woman replied sadly.

Leon looked at her carefully. "I thought that you would," he admitted. "You seem worried."

"And I am," Morgana said slowly. "Arthur shouldn't marry Miranda. She's going to ruin everything." The woman sighed. "She has already started."

"Merlin..." Leon murmured.

Morgana thought that the knight saw the warlock somewhere so she looked around. However when she didn't see the dark haired man, she understood that Leon simply recalled Merlin's name. "So you've noticed..." the sorceress said, trying to hide astonishment.

"It was not so difficult," the man said. "I would even say that Merlin is quite obvious." He smiled lightly.

"Then you're much brighter than Arthur," Morgana told him. "I sometimes wonder how that man can rule the kingdom when he can't see such things in front of his nose."

Leon laughed silently. "He's a king, Morgana..." the knight warned her. "Besides we sometimes cannot notice the obvious things which are connected with us. It's quite common."

The sorceress was glad that it was dark all around because she flushed lightly. It would have been embarrassing if Leon had noticed.

"I think it's Lancelot's house," the knight broke the silence.

Morgana glanced at the building. "Yes," she confirmed. The light was still visible inside.

"I'll wait for you, Morgana," Leon told her.

"It can take a longer while," she warned him.

"I know." The man smiled. "It's also Lancelot's child. I'd like to find out if it's a boy."

Morgana returned the smile. There was something in Leon what impressed her. Then she walked up to the door and knocked. After a minute or two, Lancelot open it. He looked really tired.

"Morgana?" the dark haired man asked with disbelief. Then he noticed the knight. "Leon?"

"Gwen is in labour, isn't she?" the woman asked without any explanation.

Lancelot was too shocked to say anything so he just nodded and let them in.

oOoOo

Guinevere gave birth to a beautiful and healthy boy. Lancelot was proud of his wife and his son. Of course he would have loved a little girl too. There was no doubt about it. However the boy would protect his future sister and even become a knight one day.

Morgana was happy as well. For a while she forgot about Miranda and problems that she was causing.

The noble lady was escorted by sir Leon to her chamber, even though it was already morning. They didn't have much time for discussion about princess Miranda but Morgana promised the knight that they would talk about it soon. Finally she found a male ally.

"My lady!" Lizzie cried when Morgana entered the chamber. "I was so worried. I thought that something terrible has happened."

"I'm sorry," the lady said honestly. "I was with Gwen. She has a son."

Lizzie smiled at her mistress. "That's good news."

Morgana nodded. "Indeed." She was glad that finally something positive had happened. The sorceress was fed up with bad news.

The problems, however, didn't disappear. The tragedy from Morgana's dreams was still going to happen somewhere within castle walls.

I decided to write a chapter with some hope - the birth of new life and Morgana/Leon support. What do you think? Did it make the chapter less angst?