Yes I am back...sorry it took a little bit longer then expected but work has been crazy, got caught up in a snow storm & eifeltwr is fuckin' slow (hehe... eifeltwr's opinion anyway!) ;) Time for me to gush, I really do appreciate all those who are reading and reviewing and alerting. You truly make my day. I would love to hear what you guys think so don't be shy and leave me some love!~ My girl Lindz has made another banner for me for this chapter so go to my profile and follow the link to my FB page. It's gorgeous! Thanks Lindz and my bff and TS, Eifeltwr thanks for everything :-) I love you girls sooo much!~
Also Lindz has a one shot I think you all should read, it's wonderful!~ Look for it, Lindz26 "The Mistake" Leave her love! xo
I hope you all love this chapter as much as I do :-) I am shooting for the next update to be March 12th but I will do my damnest for it to be sooner. Thanks again for reading!~
The next day, Carlisle advised me to wear comfortable clothes that I wouldn't mind getting dirty in, a jacket, in case I got chilly, and comfortable shoes. I tried making a few guesses as to where we could be spending the day, but Carlisle refused to tell me what he had planned. Nonetheless, I was excited. By the gleam that appeared in his eyes each time he refused to tell me, I could tell he was just as excited. He had mentioned that I could bring my camera if I wished, so I sprinted to the living room to retrieve it and stuffed it in my small backpack along with my keys, sunglasses, wallet and cell phone. I glanced around to make sure I didn't need anything else but felt clueless. How was I supposed to know what to bring if I didn't know what I would need. Carlisle was due to be here any minute, even if I called him I knew he wouldn't budge.
I didn't usually like the element of surprise, I preferred to know what was coming. Change was hard on me. It never seemed to go my way or it disappointed me. Yet, today I had a good feeling about this surprise. I won't lie, fright ran through me and I normally would have run in the other direction and hide, but today felt different.
I was slowly starting to realize that Carlisle was bringing out the best in me. I smiled at the realization.
My phone rang, ripping me from my thoughts. I looked at the caller ID. Carlisle. I couldn't help the glee that sounded in my voice when I answered.
"Hi!" I really had to rein it in, I thought.
"Hi." Carlisle's husky voice soothed me through the earpiece.
"Hi." Oh, My God! I slapped my hand on my forehead, could I be a bigger dork?
"Hi." He chuckled. "I'm almost there. You about ready for your surprise?"
"I think so. It would really help if I knew what we're doing or where we're going…" I hinted.
"Oh Bella..." Carlisle sighed, the way my name escaped his lips made my insides quiver. "Where's the fun in that? You've waited this long, you can wait a few more minutes." He paused. "I promise I won't disappoint you."
My breath hitched. No, no, he wouldn't. "No, I don't expect you will." I managed to squeak out. This man already had me quivering, tongue tied and fighting for air and I haven't set eyes on him.
We both stayed silent for a moment, the only sounds between us was our breathing and his truck engine bellowing in the background as he drove.
"Well, you're about to find out. I just pulled up," Carlisle said, breaking the silence.
I walked to the front door and peeked out the glass to see his truck pull to a stop in the parking lot. I could tell he had cleaned it up since I'd seen it last, he'd also taken the wood planks and huge tool box out of the bed of his truck, washed it, possibly waxed it too, the rims gleamed. I knew it was an older Dodge, at least a 2004, but he obviously took great care of it. I could see his smiling face looking thru the passenger window, the phone still plastered to his ear.
I bit the corner of my lip nervously, as my heart pulsed and goose-bumps tickled my arms. This is the moment where I can change it all. This is it. As my stomach turned and every negative thought threatened to overtake me and remind me of the new and unknown, I couldn't pay much attention to those feelings. Don't get me wrong, I was fully aware of them. I was petrified and was certain I was going to lose my breakfast, but in the same beat something felt right about this moment.
I was supposed to be here, in this moment, at this exact time.
A wave of content washed over me as I stepped away from the door just long enough to grab my small backpack. I confidently opened the front door, stepped through entryway and pulled the door closed behind me. Our phones were still pressed to our ears as our eyes met.
"I'm coming Carlisle." I giggled into the phone. I could tell that he was watching every step I made.
Our eyes connect as he jumped out of his truck. I watched his smile light up his face while he made his way to me. "Hi," he continued to speak into the phone.
I shook my head, still giggling. "Hi." He held his phone out and hung it up as did I.
"Hi." Carlisle stopped a few feet in front of me. I appraised him in his dark denim jeans that hugged his him in all the right places, his leather belt, white and blue faded, tight fitting Ford t-shirt. This man could wear a garbage bag and a pylon cone on his head as a hat and make it look sexy as hell. I looked to his t-shirt covered chest and over his shoulder to his truck then back again.
"What?" He furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity and confusion.
"Umm… do you think it's funny that you're wearing a Ford shirt while driving a Dodge?" I pointed between him and his truck. He turned to look behind him and back to me.
"I have a Harley shirt too." He winked. "I'll have to wear that for you sometime." His eyes left mine only long enough to take in my appearance. I felt his gaze run down my body and back up again until his eyes met mine once again. "You look beautiful."
My face warmed as I broke eye contact to hide my tell tale expression.
"Thanks," I answered timidly.
"You ready to go? I have a whole day planned out for us." He clapped his hands, rubbing them together with a mischievous grin on his face.
"No hint, huh?" I jabbed and started walking along side him to his truck.
"Nope. I am an awesome secret keeper. I cannot be persuaded." He opened the passenger door of his truck for me and held my hand as I climbed in. It sat a good two, maybe three feet off the ground. I was used to climbing in and out of Jake's truck and didn't really need the help but was touched that Carlisle felt the need to help anyway.
"Anyone can be bought," I joked.
"Only if the price is right and I'm costly." I had to laugh at his confidence as I got myself situated and watched him jog around the front of his truck and hop in with ease. "Sorry about the truck, I didn't think the Harley would work for what we're doing today," he said as he started the engine.
"And that would be?" I had to try.
He clicked his tongue and winked again. "None of your business."
I huffed as he pulled out of the parking space and away from the lot, all the while chuckling at my constant insistence.
I was surprised when Carlisle took a lot of back roads to our destination instead of the main roads and highways. It took a little over an hour, but the ride went smoothly. It was a gorgeous day, the gray clouds were thinning, letting the sun shine through, the trees shadowed us as we drove down the small two way road and up curvy hills. It was gorgeous, serene. I had my camera out more times than I figured was polite, but Carlisle waved me off and insisted I do as I please.
I had taken my digital 35MM with me this time, unknown as to what our plans were beforehand, so it provided me convenience as I wouldn't have to reload constantly. I must have taken fifty shots or more in a half hours time, much to Carlisle's amusement.
Our conversation flowed. He asked me more about my parents, how often we talked and had visits, where my favorite place to live is, Arizona or Washington. I vote Washington, hands down. We touched the subject of my mom and I told him stories of when I was younger and it was just me and her and the slumber parties we'd had. We would stay up until our eyes forced themselves closed, watching our guilty pleasure movies, pigging out, painting each others nails, doing facials and giving ourselves impromptu makeovers.
He drank in my stories with interest, which shocked me. I didn't feel it was all that intriguing, but he never faltered in asking questions or teasing me at the appropriate times. When he asked what we considered to be guilty pleasure movies, I clammed up. He continued to pry but I wouldn't give in this time, playing his own game. Although I did offer to tell him one movie if I got a clue as to where we were driving to, but true to his word, he couldn't be bought. He promised he would find it out though.
We talked about our spur of the moment dinner from the previous night. Instead of going down the road, straight to the diner for dinner, he drove us around the surrounding neighborhoods and downtown area for almost an hour.
We drove by the small police department, Jake's garage, the La Push lodge where a lot of the weddings and bigger parties were held if the weather didn't cooperate for outdoor occasions, which happened more often than not. Carlisle began to drive us out of town on a worn older black highway, which was beautiful that time of evening, especially with the sun turned orange as it dropped behind the tree tops.
At that moment I felt my body tense. I was unsure of what he was up to or where he was taking me and as much as I hated to admit it, it filled me with dread.
In Carlisle fashion, he sensed it, pulled the motorcycle over to the side of the road and turned it around to take us back into town.
He never mentioned anything about my little freak out, except when we arrived to the diner, he teased about getting some food in me before I withered away. The rest of the evening went well and we talked and ate. He had even dared me to take a menu. I told him he was crazy and he said I didn't have any guts. So, I managed to stuff one in the back of my jeans just as the waitresses nonchalantly pushed us out the door while Carlisle failed at hiding his chuckles at my stealing underneath their noses. By the time he dropped me off at my apartment, it was nearing ten and I was ready to lay down. I eventually fell asleep an hour later with my phone to my ear while Carlisle and I continued our conversation, making plans for today. Well, he made plans. I was left to wonder about my surprise.
The truck pulled to a stop and Carlisle's voice brought me out of my musings. "We're here." He rested his hands on the steering wheel, looking out his front windshield at the sight before him. I pulled my eyes away from him and saw the most beautiful and majestic landscaping.
There was a blacktop trail that lead to the woods, but before you even got the natural beauty of the trees, moss, rocks, little wild animals, there was a makeshift courtyard type area with rocks and deep red leafy plants, the rocks that resembled a stairway and lead to a stage that over looked a picnic area where a few couples and a family had congregated.
With my mouth agape, I undid my seat belt and opened my door, hopping out. I wasn't aware of anything except the sights and sounds that enveloped me. Behind us stood a log cabin which according to Carlisle had a restaurant and also served as a hotel. Carlisle watched as I surveyed it, promising to take me in there to investigate and check out its interior. He vowed it was just as beautiful inside as everything was outside.
"So, you want to take a walk and look around? It's gorgeous up here and I thought you would find the scenery stimulating." A grin plastered my face. I wanted to hop up and down, cheer and throw myself at him, asking how he knew that this was perfect? I had wanted a change of scenery for my portfolio and it was like he knew exactly what I needed. What I wanted. We were on the same wavelength.
"Yes!" I clapped, showing my excitement which brought an ear to ear smile to his face. Carlisle grabbed his backpack as I grabbed mine, we met at the tailgate of his truck, our hands bumped and our pinkies linked. I looked down at our fingers, loving the feel of it and the simple look of it. His fingers wrapped around my hand and I grabbed onto his without a second thought.
We walked along the path for a few minutes before I broke our comfortable silence. "How did you find this place?" I pushed the backpack on my shoulder when it began to slide down my arm. Carlisle smiled like he was remembering an old memory.
"It's been a while since I've been here, but when my parents and I moved here, the high school had a field trip and I almost didn't go. I wasn't exactly in the mood or cared about some stupid field trip with people I didn't know, but my mom insisted." He looked down at our still linked hands and playfully swung them between us. "I fell in love with it here. I mean, what's not to love?" His other free hand raised around us, motioning to the trees that stood tall, the moss covered rocks, the birds chirping. I caught a rabbit out of the corner of my eye jumping away. It was truly serene, beautiful and relaxing.
I couldn't thank Carlisle enough for having put so much thought into this day. I never had anyone do something so kind hearted for me. Sure, my parents had birthday parties for me when I was younger, but when I hit my teens the parties dissipated and when my parents divorced, it just became part of the norm.
Up until I moved in with my dad, he always sent me birthday cards and presents and my mom always coordinated with him. He would buy a pricey gift card and she provided the purse it came wrapped in. I'm not really big on presents or being the center of attention, so it was never a huge production. That may be why parties and the such ended as I got older.
At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, it still hurt my feelings. It was like I'd been forgotten. So I always insisted on no parties, no presents, I didn't want to trouble anyone.
"Hey." Carlisle nudged my hip with our connected hands. "Where are you?" He raised his eyebrows once.
"I'm here." I smiled and rubbed my thumb on the rough skin of his hand. "I was just thinking."
"About?"
I took a deep breath, letting it out before I spoke. My shy side was about to rear its ugly head. I watched our feet step in-sync as we made our way deep into the forest, the high trees shadowing on the walkway and blocking the glaring sun from us. "Um, I was just thinking…" I paused, nervously.
Carlisle squeezed my hand in silent support. I met his encouraging eyes and finally spoke when my heart calmed. All because of that look.
"I was thinking that no one has ever done anything so thoughtful, like this," I nodded to our surroundings. "I mean, you put a lot into this. How did you know I would love it? It was exactly what I needed and you knew! How did you know that?" I gulped. I felt silly for rambling and repeating myself, but he made me say, do and feel the most incredible things that I came to realize I couldn't control.
Carlisle shrugged. "You do like it?" His eyes hopeful.
I shook my head playfully at him and in a rush before I could answer, Carlisle pulled me to him quickly, hugging me to him, but yelling over my head at a bicyclist rushing by. "Watch where you're going!" he yelled angrily.
I froze as my cheek rested against his chest, my hand still clutching his tightly, my free hand clinging to his shirt on the side near where his love handles should have been, but I couldn't feel anything but solid muscle. I licked my lips and took a moment to inhale his scent.
"Stupid ass-" Carlisle stopped in mid-sentence and I felt his eyes peering down on me. "Are you okay? I didn't mean…"
"I...I'm alright." I loosened my grip on his shirt, yet I tightened my grip on our joined hands. "It all just happened so fast. It startled me."
"I'm sorry. I couldn't let him run you over and it was my fault, I should have paid closer attention." His free hand rubbed up and down my arm in a reassuring manner.
"It's not your fault, but thank you. That could have been a disaster." I huffed. Carlisle dropped his hand from my shoulder and pulled away slightly, our fingers still linked together.
"Okay, get that camera out!" He started to jog and pull me with him. "I got lots to show you before we run out of daylight." I ran behind him, giggling the whole way at his playful change of demeanor.
How did he do that? One minute he had me desperate for breath, willing to get lost in him and what he does to me. What he had erupted in me. He had so many sides of his personality, yet they were all the same. The end result, was always a goofy ass smile covering my face and a blush that no matter how hard I tried, always exposed exactly what I felt and he saw it right away. Every single time. Although he teased me about every other thing, he seemed just as happy with how things were developing between us as I was.
Carlisle showed me where the walkway broke off into smaller paths which lead into multiple directions. One lead back to where we had parked and to the log cabin, where he had said we would have dinner before we left. He was just as excited to see my reaction to the interior of the log cabin as he was to my seeing everything outside.
Another walkway lead to a campsite where two sets of families were pitching tents and unloading their SUV's. Another direction lead deep into the forest but it was chained off with a DO NOT TRESPASS sign and I was quite alright with that. The last walkway, Carlisle seemed extremely excited to show me. He had the silliest, almost childlike grin on his face as he gently pulled me out of the corner of the trees and into the clearing that revealed one of the most beautiful sights I've ever been lucky enough to see.
A small, secluded area with minimal dirt patches peeking through the grass. A picnic table sat in the middle. An unlit fire-pit was to the right, surrounded by rocks. The trees we'd just come out from under loomed to the left and out, casting a slight shade over the area. I walked by the picnic table, dropping my small backpack on it. I felt Carlisle's hand slip from mine as I walked to the rickety wood fence that overlooked the beach down below. The waves crashed loudly and echoed up to where I stood. Across the way, the tree covered cliffs stood taller than the fenced off cliff we stood looking out from.
I was rendered speechless.
"What do you think?" Carlisle's breathed out in a whisper. I could feel his lips brush my hair and ear, causing goose-bumps to cover every single inch of my skin. My breath caught.
"There aren't words to describe its beauty." My voice cracked.
Carlisle took a step forward to stand beside me, his hand slipping back into mine, intertwining our fingers. His palm flat against mine, warming me. "You're absolutely right." I looked to our hands and then up to him. His gaze wasn't on the ocean or the cliffs, but right on me.
"Thank you," I breathed. His free hand reached out to move a piece of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. My skin tingled as his finger tips softly traced the shell of my ear.
"You're welcome." I felt that traitorous blush heat my cheeks and knew when Carlisle winked that he noticed it too. His hand dropped and I pointed to my bag.
"I'm going to take some pictures. This...I can't let this moment slip by. I may not have this chance again." I released his hand, looking over my shoulder as I walked toward the table to my backpack.
"Hey, have you ever brou-" I suddenly felt my foot slide on a stray piece of driftwood. I tried, oh how I tried, to stop the loss of control I felt while gravity pulled me down on all fours, feeling a pain in the palms of my hands and my right knee. God, kill me now. I wished.
I winced and let my hair fall to hide my face. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. Yes, my knee and palms hurt, but my ego was severely bruised and I felt...embarrassed didn't even begin to cover it. I sniffled and felt Carlisle's hand on my back in an instant.
"Oh shit. Are you okay, Bella?"
"Yeah." I tried to push myself up but hissed when I felt the pain shoot through my palms.
Carlisle's other arm went around my waist and pulled me up to his chest. I quickly wiped the tears with the back of my hand before he could see. He turned me to face him, grabbing my hands, palms up and examining them.
"Are you sure, Bella? That was a nasty fall."
"You saw it all, huh? Every play by play?" I asked in a disgusted tone.
"Bella, stop it." He lowered himself to my eye level. I looked at him, bashfully. "Sit. I'm going to take care of you." He walked me backwards slowly until the back of my knees hit the bench and he grabbed me by the sides of my waist, sitting me on the table portion of the picnic table, leaving my feet to rest on the bench.
I watched as he pulled his backpack to him and took out a bottle of water, bandages, antibiotic ointment and a small spray bottle and laid it all out beside my hip on the table.
"Were you expecting this?" I tried to tease.
He cocked an eyebrow at me, and then looked down at my knee. The fall had torn a huge hole and blood had already begun to stain the denim. His hands held onto my knee, he tried to pull the torn material away but he wasn't satisfied. "I'm going to have to tear these or um... you think you can pull the pant leg up past your knee?" He cleared his throat and pulled his hands away.
"Carlisle, its fine, I can doctor it up when I get home later."
Carlisle shook his head. "I don't mind. We need to clean it up so it doesn't get infected."
I nodded and pulled the denim up to my thigh to reveal my pasty white leg and bloodied knee. Carlisle's hand hovered over it for a moment before he snapped his attention to my face. "It may sting a little."
I gulped. I was a pansy when it came to pain. My tolerance level was extremely low. As soon as Carlisle put his right hand under my knee, I kicked and giggled, then immediately hissed in pain. Carlisle's face contorted in confusion then concern. I waved him off. "Sorry, when I moved it it hurt. I'm just a baby. I'm not very good with pain."
Carlisle promised to be more careful and began to tend to my knee. I studied him as he avoided the back of my knee, but rested his other hand on my calf. He blotted my injury with an antibacterial wipe, spraying some medicine and then blew on it at the same time to ease the sting. It still hurt, but I bit my bottom lip to refrain my cries. Every time his breath caressed my knee, goose-bumps traveled down to my toes and up my thighs to my rapidly heating center. I tried to close my legs as much as possible without being obvious but he was right there, a handsome obstacle keeping my legs slightly open.
His touch was tender as he patted the ointment on and wrapped a white gauge bandage around my knee. His finger lingered under my knee, making me giggle and him wink in my direction.
Every now and again he would squeeze my calf, his face so close to my legs, the look of concentration on his face drew me in. The way his eyes scrunched, his lips pursed. I wanted to run my hands through his hair and feel if it was as soft and silky as it looked. He was so close, yet so far. It took every ounce of my control to keep my breathing regulated and play it cool.
"So, you're ticklish?" A crooked smile appeared.
"Hmphh, no." I lied. He ran his hand slowly around my knee until he was barely touching the back of it, making me squirm and my skin goose-pimple. I stiffed my giggle, Carlisle wore a proud look on his face.
"Liar."
"Cheater."
His eyebrows raised in mock shock. He shook his head, moving his attention back to the task at hand. His hand rested on the top of my knee as he looked back to meet my gaze. "It's all fixed. It'll hurt for a while but keep it clean and covered for a couple days." His eyes looked to my hands sitting palms up on my lap. "Let me see your hands." He pointed.
I held them out to him and he started cleaning up the scraps and blowing on them. His mouth made an O and was only an inch or so from my skin making every nerve in my body stand on end. I held my breath again until he was done and my hands were clean and resting in his palms, his thumbs rubbing my pulse points on my wrists.
"You have a soothing touch," I said before I realized what came out. Did I really say that? I bit the corner of my lip then quickly let it go as I felt his leg brush my calf as he scooted closer.
"You really think so?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I couldn't form a sentence. I nodded shyly. I felt the need to be close to him grow profusely. His touch was so warm, caring and inviting. It affected my body. It set me on fire, inside and out. I found myself yearning to be near him, hear his voice, feel his touch, taste his kiss. My eyes fixed on his plump lips. I bet they are soft. I couldn't seem to be satisfied even while he was right in front of me.
It was not just the physical need. I wanted to know all about him. I somewhat knew about his family, but I wanted to know more. I wanted to see them for myself. I wanted to watch them interact together. Why hadn't I asked his favorite color? What was the first thing he did when he walked in the door after getting home from work? Totally random bits of information, but my brain was a sponge. I observed his thumbs move back and forth on my skin, drinking in the sight before me.
"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," I teased.
His jaw clenched and his shoulders squared but his hands continued to hold mine and rub softly.
"That's my dad," he huffed, but let out a smile that didn't reach his eyes, which seemed to be avoiding mine.
"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I didn't mean…" I trailed off.
"Why?" he interrupted and finally met my eyes with his light gaze.
"Um," I cleared my throat. "You seemed uncomfortable."
"Well, I guess I was. It's a touchy subject." He let go of my hands, but was on the table sitting next to me in seconds. My hands left feeling cold, already missing his touch. "My dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps and be a doctor, but I went my own way and got into architecture."
I nodded and took his hand with mine, encouraging him to tell me more. "I see."
"Yeah, he is a great man, a great dad. Awesome actually, but now and then he makes comments. I know I disappoint him. I just couldn't get into a lifelong career that my heart wasn't into."
"I understand. You shouldn't let anyone guide your life. You have to do what makes you happy. Although, you're a natural. You took wonderful care of me just now and I would be so lucky to have you as my doctor." I nudged his shoulder with mine.
Carlisle's body shook with laughter, he looked at me from the corner of his eye. "It had everything to do with the patient. She brings out the best in me."
I could feel the apples of my cheek rise. "So, you got your degree?"
"I do have it. I had a good job, just starting after I graduated and everything was going great. I had a lot of opportunities or so I thought. The company had to downsize and since I was one of the last hired, I was let go. I got the job I have now, thankfully from a friend at that company." He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck and looked out at the ocean waves. "I've had this construction job for the last few years. I like it, I'm grateful for it, but I would like to get back into architecture."
"You can do anything you set your mind to, Carlisle."
I leaned my shoulder on his and stared up at him. His eyes not looking anywhere but my lips, and me looking at his. Do it! I screamed to myself. A bird squawked and I pulled away, licking my lips, wishing it was his tongue and not mine.
"I believe you if you say so." He stood, putting his hand out for me to take and I did without pause.
"Let's go get you something to eat and you can check out the log cabin. I bet you will love it. There are these huge windows looking into the forest and the biggest fireplace in the center, oh and the staircase..." he spit words out describing the interior and I heard every one he said, but all I could do was admire his excitement and the hyper calm that he radiated when he spoke of the log cabin. I knew it peaked his architecture interests. I felt awful about him being in a job that didn't truly call to him, but I was determined to help him in any way I could, if he'd let me.
"Would you like to come in for some coffee?" I asked quietly as he turned off the truck engine. The atmosphere between us felt heated, almost full of tension, but not uncomfortable or unwanted. Dinner was wonderful. We had a great time, we never had a lull in conversation, he pointed out the details of the log cabin. The walls were painted in a terra cota color with stone frames around the doorways. Sconces on the walls, and candles at each table left the dining area dimly lit and romantic with a feeling of warmth.
The fireplace in the middle of the restaurant was indeed huge, Carlisle hadn't been kidding on that one. It was made of gray, black and white stone and stood as tall as the forty foot ceiling. The light wood mantel piece on the fireplace matched the dining tables. The fire burned loudly, crackling. Not only did it sound beautiful and relaxing, it looked graceful.
I couldn't decide what was more entertaining to study, the log cabin itself or Carlisle taking in every inch. We sat off to ourselves but had a wonderful view of everything he wanted to share with me. Come to find out there was another two floors above us which held the rooms to stay overnight in if you so choose. Since he had shown such care earlier when I hurt myself I couldn't get the thought of kissing him out of my mind.
I could have easily have just leaned forward while he was so close and just pressed my mouth to his but I got scared. I hated when I over-analyzed things.
I felt his eyes on me and then his hand as he moved it off the steering wheel and onto my hand. "Decaf, right?" he teased.
I shook my head, smacking his arm before he jumped out of the truck, jogging around it while the rain that had started falling on our way home wetting his t-shirt. He was at the passenger door before I could blink. I threw my small backpack on my shoulder when I felt his hand on the side of my knee where he bandaged it earlier.
"I thought you may want help getting out since my truck sits up so high?" his voice trailed. I gulped and nodded quietly.
"Yes please, it's still kind of sore."
He licked his lips and looked slightly uncomfortable for a split second like I was made of glass and he was afraid of breaking me. He put one arm under my knees gently and the other around my back and lifted me to his chest.
Oh My God. He smelled so good, he was so warm, so gentle. So Carlisle. He calmed me and excited me all at once. I had one arm around his neck for balance and the other on my lap, my fingers touching and discreetly pulling at his shirt. I wanted to run my hand along his stomach muscles, up his chest, to his neck and jaw...my eyes ran along the path my thoughts desired as I studied him.
He wasn't the white collar type whatsoever, he was rugged and tough. His hands may be covered in calluses and dirt, but they were soft and warm. I have yet to see him in anything but jeans, a t-shirt, leather jacket or sweatshirt. He smelled of cut wood and musk, wore flannels sometimes, drank beer, preferred steak or a cheeseburger, and had an occasional cigarette. He was himself. He was comfortable in his own skin. No one made him doubt himself or his choices, even his own father. He felt guilty he couldn't be what his dad wanted, but he was happy with his talents and choices. He had no regrets in life except that he expected more of himself. He never held his tongue, but wasn't disrespectful to others with his opinion or of them having theirs.
A quiet sigh escaped my lips as I drank him in, the truck door slammed by way of him kicking it, waking me from my thoughts and my dreamy gaze.
Carlisle's grip tightened around me as he walked us to my front door. "You can put me down, I can walk now, silly." He began swaying me back and forth soothingly with a confident smile. I almost expected him to start humming a lullaby. It felt so relaxing.
"Yeah. I could." He kept walking until we hit the top of the stairs leading to my front door. The next door neighbor's dog yipped at us as we walked by causing the older neighbor lady to come to her screen door to investigate. When she saw Carlisle carrying me, her curious face turned to concern and she immediately opened her door.
"Miss Bella, are you okay, my dear?"
Mrs. Cope was your typical, slightly nosy neighbor but was very sweet. She lost her husband last year and it just left her and her small dog, Aro. She always kept her front door open nightly, I assumed to make sure I arrived home safely from the beach.
"Oh, hi, Mrs. Cope." I smiled warmly and waved.
She relaxed against the door frame and yet still cautiously eyed Carlisle. I glanced and saw her clutching her phone in her hand, barely hiding it behind her. I chuckled to myself at her attempt to protect me. "Hi. Are you hurt?" She cut to the chase and opened her screen to take a tentative step in our direction.
"We went hiking and Bella took a spill. It's not too bad. I'm just being overprotective." Carlisle spoke in his charming tone, his thumb caressing my leg near my knee, sending me into quiet giggles. He had remembered my ticklish spot. I wiggled in his arms and playfully punched his stomach with my left hand and he winked at me, totally un-phased.
Mrs. Cope reluctantly smiled as she observed our interaction than caught herself and turned a doubtful eye to Carlisle.
"I've never seen you around here before. And you would be?" She pursed her lips in a tight line.
Carlisle cleared his throat and turned his head slightly in my direction, the wink he gave me would have made me weak in the knees if I was standing. "Hi Mrs. Cope. I'm Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen." He shifted toward her to shake her hand, but realized he would have to put me down. I wiggled in his arms and he reluctantly set me on my feet. He took a step towards Mrs. Cope, shaking her hand then kissing her knuckles. The look on her face convinced me he had charmed her much in the same way he had done to me. Carlisle stepped back to stand next to me. "It's nice to meet you." He nodded once.
Mrs. Cope stuttered and waved us off. "Oh no my dear, the pleasure is all mine." She looked between the two of us and took a step into her apartment. "Well, I don't want to keep you kids, you take care of her." She raised her eyebrows in our direction, wiggling her finger.
I wanted to hide my face so I could blush in private but it was too late, Carlisle was already aware. I caught his stare from the corner of my eye. I shook my head, eyes closed. "I will take care of her." His husky voice warmed me inside and out as he spoke to my neighbor, while his eyes remained looking at me.
When I met his gaze I couldn't decipher the look that was reflected back at me. That one little sentence with the deep, meaningful look he was giving me made me regret not kissing him earlier. To feel him under my touch, my lips touching his, my hands in his hair and holding his face to mine. I yearned for nothing more than to drink him in.
I shook myself out of my daze to see a beaming Mrs. Cope. "Have a good night Mrs. Cope." I grasped her hand, squeezing it then hobbled toward my door. Carlisle nodded to her and said good night then raced to meet me at my side.
"She's really nice."
"Yeah. She's a very sweet lady." I said as I pulled my keys out to unlock my door and inviting him in. He shook his head, insisting I go inside first. "You always this charming?" I quirked my eyebrows in his direction.
"Uh," Carlisle chortled out a sigh. "I was just brought up that way, I guess." He shrugged. I giggled.
"Are you embarrassed?" I opened my mouth then closed it to bite on my bottom lip. My eyes as big as saucers, a smile fighting to be freed. I threw my small backpack on the kitchen counter with my keys as Carlisle leaned his back against the counter with his hands on each side of his hips.
"I don't get embarrassed," he expressed smugly.
I snorted. "Yeah right." I held the palm of my hand up to his face as I walked to the cupboard next to him to grab us a couple coffee mugs.
"I don't!"
"I bet if I spoke to your mom or sister they'd tell me a different story." I stuck out my tongue quickly then went back to making coffee. I held up the sugar and powdered creamer. "Do you need these? How do you take your coffee?"
"Just sugar."
I nodded and put the creamer back in the cupboard. As I poured the water into the coffee maker and set the timer to go off when it was ready, I felt his eyes on me. I didn't even look at him and busied myself getting spoons out and looking through a different cabinet for a pastry of some kind.
"So, you seriously never get embarrassed? Ever?" I looked at him pointedly, giving up the pastry hunt.
Carlisle clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Nope. Sorry to disappoint you."
"Mmmhmm." I didn't believe him for a second. I was determined to get to the bottom of Carlisle Cullen. He had to have a bad date, a failed public play, a humiliating story of some sort.
A new sense of bravery overcame me. "So, if Mrs. Cope was to..." I paused to make my point and walked in front of him to grab his cheeks and pinch playfully. "...pinch your cheeks and call you the most charming, adorable man she's ever seen, you wouldn't be embarrassed?" I stood between his slightly open legs and playfully continued to squeeze his cheeks and rock his head back and forth.
"Mrs. Cope?" he asked seriously. I blinked, when his hands moved into my view and rested lightly on my hands. His stare burned into me, willing me to lose my breath. I stopped rocking his head and tried to pull my hands away from his face but he held them there. "Well, if it was Mrs. Cope...I just may. You know how she affects me." He teased, although in a very serious tone.
"You guys have that in common then, I mean, you obviously affect her," I stuttered, delighted in his touch.
Our erratic breathing became the only sound between us.
"You think so? I'm going to tell you a secret, Bella. I haven't been able to get her off my mind since I met her." He chuckled, closing the space between us. My mind reeled at his scent circling me. His soulful eyes were speaking volumes. His tongue darted out, licking his bottom lip, making my senses heighten to every movement he made. He ran one hand down my arm and up to my shoulder until it was resting on my neck, his thumb caressing my jaw.
"I'm sure she's willing to share her affections between you and Aro," I breathed.
I gulped and inched my way even closer toward him. My body pressed against him, my chest thumping against his. My eyes darted to his tongue and back to his eyes again. Carlisle chuckled and leaned closer as I closed my eyes and relied on my other senses to guide me to his lips. As soon as his lips touched mine, my body sparked alive. Fireworks exploded, my body trembled, my hands moved off his cheeks to grip his hair near the nap of his neck and pull him closer to me, but I couldn't get close enough to him.
His lips curved into a smile against mine then he took my top lip between his, kissing, sucking. His taste was like nothing I have ever experienced, a mixture of sweetness and beer. He tasted delicious. His prickly stubble rubbed my skin, tickling me. His hand lightly pressed against my jaw holding my face to his while his other hand trailed down to my waist, wrapping around it and pulling me even closer, if that was even possible.
My mouth became an entity of its own and pulled his lower lip into my kiss. I never realized how starved I was for him, how much I wanted to kiss him. The closeness. The warmth. The heat. The energy. The feeling he stirred in me was immeasurable and I knew for a fact I would never feel this with anyone else.
I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss when my hand moved down to pull on the material of his shirt around his waist but my hand slipped in all the commotion and I hit one of the coffee mugs off the counter top, smashing it to pieces and prying us apart.
My chest heaved as I pulled my eyes away from him and stared at the broken pieces on the floor. Scattered, sharp pieces lay scattered amongst our feet.
The sight spoke to me sadly and my fears of rejection and intimacy suddenly came barreling back. It reminded me of all things that can be broken. It saddened me. I bent down in a hurry, ignoring the pain in my knee and began to pick up the broken pieces, all while not saying a word to Carlisle.
"Bella." He squatted down next to me and reached out to take my hand, but I pulled away.
I gulped, trying to get a hold of myself and my sudden emotions.
"I shouldn't have..." I stopped. I couldn't finish that sentence. I did not regret that kiss for the world. I still felt him on my lips, the tingle remained, his taste. "I'm sorry, Carlisle." Was all I could manage.
Carlisle moved his hand away from me to rest on his bent knee. "I don't... I don't know what to say Bella except I would do it all again." His deep husky words brought me out of my fog, rearing my gaze in his direction to meet his sincere eyes. "You can't take it away from me."
I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak but Carlisle spoke before I did.
"I'm keeping the kiss." He leaned his head to mine and kissed my forehead. "I'll lock the door on my way out." He stood, leaving me with my mouth open, looking after him. What was he doing? Where was he going? I tried to speak but my throat dried and only inaudible sounds escaped. Carlisle stood at my front door with his hand on the knob. "I'll call you tonight when I get home, if that's okay?" he asked.
I nodded, still bent down, holding the broken mug in my hands. Carlisle nodded once and walked out the door.
Move Bella! Get up! Stop him! Don't let him walk away! I dropped the pieces to my feet and stood, walking in a daze to the door. I looked through the glass door and saw Carlisle walking to his truck in the rain.
His shoulders slumped, his head down, his hand gripping his now damp hair, then falling to his side. He looked defeated. I swung open my front door and took a few guarded steps until I was at the railing that lead to the stairway overlooking the parking lot and courtyard.
Any pain I felt in my knee was forgotten as I raced down the steps as quickly as I could to catch him before he left. I had to make him understand. I had to make him see.
He is the one that made me understand. He made me see that I had closed myself off to others. I thought I had been doing the right thing, keeping my heart safe, keeping myself from being hurt, but all I was doing was denying myself. I was the one hurting myself. He had been so patient and thoughtful. He had actually taken the time to get to know me and never pressured me to tell him more than I felt ready to. He never pushed me to touch him physically. He became my friend, a true friend and never expected me to give more than I could. He made me laugh, he made me think, he protected me.
He made me feel alive.
The way he looked at me alone, no words could ever replace that. When he looked at me, I knew what he was saying to me. We didn't need words to tell an inside joke or have a small conversation. One eyebrow quirk, a certain smile always said it all. One look and I knew how he felt about me. He felt the way I did, at least he wasn't afraid to show it.
As soon as I got to the courtyard, huffing and puffing, trying to catch my breath, he was just unlocking his truck door to get inside.
"Carlisle!" I managed to squeak, but figured he didn't hear me. His hand on the door handle paused and his head turned so I could see his profile. Did he hear me? I took a few more steps in his direction, the steady rain soaking my hair, the shoulders of my shirt, my feet soaked through my shoes and socks from running and splashing in the puddles.
I was shivering and covered in goose-bumps and knew it had nothing to do with the weather. I was running on pure adrenaline, my surroundings haven't fully affected me yet.
Carlisle stood only ten feet away, still frozen in place. "Carlisle." My hands clenched nervously at my sides. He turned fully to face me with a peaceful smile that reached his eyes.
I swallowed nervously, getting up the nerve to spill what my brain and heart was screaming inside. "Don't go."
With each step I took toward him, a piece of the wall I had built through the years broke off and crumbled at my feet. I could feel the tides turning, the world spinning on its axis. I could feel the shift in the air between us and nothing would ever be the same again. There was a tangible tension. It was exciting. It was scary. Nothing could stop it. Not even myself.
It felt like everything was slow motion as he pocketed his keys and took a few long strides, meeting me step for step until he was a foot away from me. His beauty, charm and elegance numbed me, but I couldn't stop the words or my actions.
"Don't go, Carlisle. Stay. Please." I felt my eyes well up with tears. My emotions were up and down, the fright and excitement playing tug-of-war within me.
He was so still, so quiet. I realized that I could go for broke or run for the hills. I unclenched my fists and took the final step toward him so I was pressed against him, my hand clenching his damp t-shirt as I pulled him to me and into a searing kiss. It started slow, full of emotion but deep. It quickly became rushed, desperate, our tongues found each other and lashed back and forth, fighting for dominance but never giving in. Our breathing became erratic, my chest heaved as I felt his hands move around my waist and his fingertips barely touch the skin under the waistline of my jeans. His touch tickled and sparked me all at once, I couldn't get close enough to him. I wanted more. I wanted Carlisle. My libido was calling all the shots, but I knew I had to stop…eventually.
My fingers traced along his jaw and softly scratching his stubble under my fingertips. Our kiss began to slow, but it still held our shared urgency. Carlisle's free hand covered my own, still clutching his shirt and squeezed.
"Bella," he exhaled between our lips.
"Mmmmm..." I continued to kiss him. Once I started, I couldn't find it in me to stop. I felt his smile as he pecked my lips back. I felt his forehead on mine, I opened my eyes when I saw his greenish gray eyes smiling.
"What?" I whispered and pulled back a little.
"I just want to look at you." His lips ghosted mine as he spoke. I felt absolutely giddy to be in this position. For the first time in a long time, contentment washed through me. I could taste his breath on my lips as he spoke, sending flutters to the pit of my stomach. His hand still covered mine, still clinging tightly to his shirt. I pulled him closer to me by a fraction of an inch, his hand now grazing the swell of my breast but I didn't care. Just as my lips inched closer to his, he spoke before he took my lips again with his. "My beautiful Bella."