Locke and the Key
Bonus Comedy Chapter!
Once upon a time, Locke was looking at his watch. He was late for his lover, the boar.
Once upon almost the exact same time just a few seconds later, Hurley was looking at a sundial. He was late for his lover, the Hurley-Bird.
Now, Ewan, the only one who wasn't dating a wild animal was also late for a date. "Sun! Sun!" he called.
They met in a tent Sawyer had devised called the Secret-Lover's tent. Sawyer was very creative when it came to picking out names.
Suddenly, when the six lovers were in the tent (and what happens in the tent, stays in the tent), a bolt of lightining struck the left side. Ouch! Locke and the boar were toast! (Literally. A few days later the rest of the losties enjoyed spreading strawberry jam over the sliced boar. But, thankfully, not the sliced Locke.) Then another lightning struck the right side of the tent. Shazzaaam! Hurley and the Hurley-Bird were gone.
"Oh my!" Sun cried. She had a strangely astonishing American accent. She must've been out of character for that bit. "What are we going to do?" She and Ewan were stuck in the middle of the tent, praying that another bolt of lightning would not come.
Then, they both heard the crack of lightning and winced. Ewan looked up. Nothing had hit them! He rushed out of the Secret-Lover's tent and began disco dancing until he saw a demolished lightning rod. "What the bloody hell is this?" he asked himself.
Desmond appeared out of nowhere. "Saved yeh life. Eh, Brotha?" He began picking up the pieces over lighting rod, but not before he gave Ewan a "friend-slap" on the shoulder.
And that, my brothas, was how Ewan and Sun and Desmond survived a lightning storm. Not Claire, Charlie and Aaron. You see, sometimes, the producers cut some of the show out just because it seems so obsurd. But this, my brothas, is a true account of what happened on the Lost island.
Alllrighty then. Can you tell I'm bored? Actually, this chapter is completely irrellivant (sp?) to the story, The Locke and the Key and will soon be deleted. I just really needed an author's note bad and you can't do that without writing at least SOME section of the story.
Author's Note:
Okay, I noticed that the new story, Upstaging Illusion is freakin' deserted. And I even sent PMs to people who put this story on alerts or favourites. GAWSH. So, if you haven't checked out Upstaging Illusion, feel free to do so.
Also, reviews are my life. I tell you, the only reason I post my stories here is to get reviews... that may seem obvious to a few of you but it's true. So, since Upstaging Illusion only has two chapters and two reviews and one favourite and one alert... my review-powered little brain needs to find some way to fix that.
I can either delete Upstaging Illusion and put the new chapters here, on Locke and the Key. Or I can wait patiently to see if more reviewers come when Lost comes back on. Please help me decide, I am probably the most indecisive person you've ever met. I am so indecisive that I am having trouble deciding whether that is the correct way to spell indecisive.
One last note. For those of you who are Attack of the Ewan McGregor Clones fans/readers, the sequal is on it's way! Woot!
I think that's all I wanted to say. If not... sucks for me. Bye!
-Got Scots?