This took MUCH longer than I thought it would. I honestly thought about just deleting this but I ended up continuing it. I'm not very pleased with the end result, but oh well.

Thank you, CG Spender, for the song.

Enjoy

~Arctic

Fear is like a tree
That grows inside of me silently

Rex looked around, there was no sign of the young Togruta padawan anywhere. He thought she would be easy to distinguish with her orange skin and green lightsaber; but no, he could not see her, only the sea of white armor that were his fellow soldiers.

'Please be okay, Ahsoka...' He thought desperately, already fearing that the worst had happened, that she was laying on the ground, a hole in her chest from a lightsaber, dead.

Fear grew in his stomach, threatening to take over his emotions and make him run headlong like an idiot after her.

Then he saw her, fighting Ventress on a platform high above them all. The assassin was trying to get her to back over the edge, but after Ahsoka leapt up over her, the roles were reversed. Ventress backed over the edge, but instead of falling off completely she grabbed the edge with her hand, and used the speed she had built from falling to swing herself over to the other side of the platform, and up. She had done this in one swift movement, Ahsoka was looking over the edge, confused, and Rex saw the assassin lift up her lightsabers, "BEHIND YOU!" He shouted. Ahsoka barely dodged the attack, throwing herself to the side in an act of self preservation. Ventress growled and picked up her lightsabers, retreating as the clones began aiming at her. Ahsoka looked back at him, and gave a quick wink before chasing after her.

The fear returned as soon as she was out of sight.

And you could be my blood
And be a part of me secretly

Ahsoka sighed, chasing Ventress hadn't been her best idea, it had led her straight to Slick, who had somehow escaped, the thing was she didn't know it was Slick, and apparently Ventress didn't either. Because she used him as a bargaining tool, lightsaber held at his neck the young padawan paused. Her master would have let the clone die, but Ahsoka couldn't, she couldn't let an innocent clone die, though if she had known it was the traitor under that helmet she would have gladly let him go. Ventress smirked, and then ran to her ship after shoving the clone down, Ahsoka rushed to help him up, since Ventress had already taken off. "Are you o-" Then the feeling of a vibroblade against her neck making her pause, "Trooper?" She asked, immediately regretting her decision as the blade pressed harder.

"My name is not 'Trooper' my name is Slick." He growled.

"...what are you doing here?" She asked quietly, so as to not make the blade accidentally cut into her.

"About to take out a padawan, that's what." The knife pressed into her throat, causing blood to spill out onto the gray of the ground, they heard the shouts of clonetroopers were approaching, "Have fun." He whispered, and with that, grabbed the helmet and ran off. Ahsoka was on her knees, one hand against her throat, another against the ground keeping her stable.

The medics swarmed her, knowing they would be in trouble if a padawan died on their hands.

Rex had watched as they had left her in the medical area, as they had told him that she had been stabbed by a vibroblade, and that if it had been on, she would have been headless.

She would be fine after a couple weeks of healing, the cut had been deep, and she had lost a lot of blood. He stood, with his hand on the window of the glass as he watched her, and glanced at the monitors, she was stable, she was sleeping, she had a huge bandage around her neck.

Anakin had been there, he had checked on his young padawan, and then left, only pausing to talk to Rex, "Once she's healed you are to take over the main town of Gracia (totally made that up off of a name my friend has for her character. XDDD ), don't let something like this happen again."

"Yes, sir." Rex replied, the only way he could.

She healed, and they headed out, just as Anakin said they would. Rex entered Ahsoka's room as she was getting ready, "Sir, you have to be careful, General would not be pleased if you got injured, and honestly, neither would I."

"I know, Rexter, it won't happen again." She replied swiftly, grabbing her lightsaber, "Okay, let's do this."

Rex nodded and they boarded the flyer.

I've lost a war
I've lost a fight
I've killed a man
Wasted a life

Rex shoved away a cluster of droids with the front of his arm, shooting them as they stumbled back. Ahsoka was in sight, just a few yards away, slashing at droids, a slightly bored expression on her face. Rex knew she wanted to fight something that was more of a challenge, but she had promised her master and himself that she wouldn't do anything too stupid.

Rex shot, and heard the scream of a dying man, he went to turn but he paused, and looked forward, a clone lay dead on the ground, that clone hadn't been there a few moments ago...

Had it?

He shook his head, he couldn't have killed a clone.

But paranoia took a hold of him, what if he had? A split-second after he had fired he had heard the man scream, and there were no droids around, had he just had a moment of friendly-fire?

He felt sadness sweep over him, it was the only possible way that clone could have died. Regret then took it's turn in his system, followed by guilt, this had only happened because he was watching for Ahsoka.

He would have to stop doing that, no matter how worried he became. He didn't want to accidentally kill anymore men, and he wanted to stay Captain. This incident would never be mentioned, it was thought a droid had done it, just another casualty on the battlefield.

Open my eyes, let me see you
And blow this blinding darkness away
Open my eyes, let me find you
Give me a sign

The Republic gunship flew over harsh territory, trying to get them as close as possible to the drop zone, they heard the sound of missiles flying past the ship and exploding a few feet away when they missed.

"Hold on." Rex cautioned Ahsoka.

"I am holding on!" She shot back, slightly agitated.

Another missile missed.

And another.

One didn't miss.

It hit the ship directly, sending it spiraling towards the ground.

The lights in the gunship turned from green to black.

Ahsoka held on until a clone ended up losing his grip and flying straight into her, sending them both spiraling and bumping into the walls as the gunship spun and flipped it shot down towards the ground at an alarming rate.

She was grabbing,

grabbing for anything she could hold.

She grabbed a hand, or actually, a hand grabbed her wrist.

It held on as they spun clockwise. She felt the owner of the hand wrap its body in an embrace around her seconds before they crashed.

There was silence for a few minutes...

Then a sea of groans, as the clones came back to the land of the conscious.

Ahsoka tried to sit up, but something was on top of her, she couldn't see, as the area was still pitch black.
She felt at the object, trying to figure it out, her hand hit the chest, and she knew it was a clone. She didn't know exactly who it was, but she gave herself three guesses, and the first two didn't count. The form moved slowly, sitting up straight Ahsoka stood up, and turned, she felt for his hand, and hauled him up to his feet.

"Thanks." It was definitely Rex, she could tell by the tone of his voice and how he held her hand after he was up. A clone cut a hole in the side of the door so they could get out, sunlight streamed in, blinding them momentarily.

Then their eyes readjusted and there was battle all around them.

Ahsoka and Rex looked at each other, and nodded, climbing out of the gunship, guns and lightsaber at the ready.

Hate is like a ghost
That lives inside of me, I plead
For you to be my guide
To be a feeder of my need

For once he was glad he was a clone, if he had been a jedi, feeling this much hatred would be looked upon with serious disapproval. Nobody cared how a clone felt, one clones attitude wouldn't affect the battle as much as a jedi's would. He muttered mando'a curses under his breath as he heard shouts of 'Second wave!' and 'Rolling death balls!' One of the terms Ahsoka had coined for Droidicas. He heard the shots of the droidicas and saw the shots be reflected by Ahsoka as she protected a group of three clones, one injured, one medic, and another clone trying to give them cover fire.

The energy for the shield ran out, but the droid still fired. Leaving Ahsoka with a choice, she could leap forward and kill the droidica and most likely have the troops behind her killed; or she could keep firing until a) it either ran out of bullets or b) the men behind her healed the injured man enough to be able to move him without risk of injuring him further. Rex gave a slightly maniacal smile as he pulled a grenade out of a pouch on his belt, heaved it, and yelled, 'DROID POPPER!" Blue electricity lunged from the grenade and surrounded the droidica, leaving its energy completely drained. The 'dead' droidica fell on its side, and Ahsoka sighed in relief, flashing Rex a quick grin and a wink. His hatred was gone for a moment, after all he kind of had the droids to thank for him having to serve under her, for him to have even met her.

'It's totally worth it...' He thought to himself, before forging on once again.

Take the world and fold me in
Free the soul behind the sin
The endless dark will be the death of my senses

He stood, staring at himself in the mirror; now this wasn't something he did often, but he did it every once in a while as a test. He had once heard a jedi master preach that, 'If you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror proudly, you have been tainted by evil. You may not know this, but your subconscious does, and will try to hide you from your true self."

He could still stand to look at himself in the mirror. He wasn't 100% sure if what that jedi had said was true, but he still gave it a try, jedi were supposedly more in tune with themselves and those around them right? So he might as well try and learn all he could.

Rex knew that neither side was free of blame, but he knew that the Republic was fighting for freedom. They didn't hold hostages of civilians of a planet; they didn't terrorize or destroy cities, buildings, lives for no reason. Hopefully, he would live to see the end of the war, along with Ahsoka. Then they could leave quietly and un-noticed, and live as they wanted.

It was a hope he knew was foolish, but he still clung to it with all his might. It's one of the few things that helped keep him going, getting up every morning, fighting, commanding, leading, it took its toll on him. But seeing Ahsoka fighting beside him gave him a reason to not act like a spoiled baby, and to try and fight even harder, as if his frenzied pace would end the war that much quicker.

Rex knew he was not free of fault himself. He had done things that had sacrificed many of his men's lives, just to spare a Jedi's.

Sometimes he told them how much of a suicide mission it was, most of the time though, he made it seem like there was a strong possibility of returning. It was war; and war made you do things that you would never do any other time. He remembered as Ahsoka had stood by him once as he briefed a group of five rookies. The mission was suicide. Everyone but the rookies knew it, they were still too green to realize it. The Council had told Rex that they couldn't lose anymore veteran clones, that he would just have to kill off a fresh batch extra early. He had felt guilty, they were so eager to prove themselves to him, and he was leading them to their deaths, not even clueing them in. He watched as they boarded the land speeders and raced towards the horizon.

That would be the last time he would ever see them again.

He had turned away from her, ashamed of himself for what he had just done. Ahsoka placed a hand on his shoulder and then hugged him from behind, whispering words of comfort into his back where her head rested.

He had wept that night.

In the sound-proof room of his captains' quarters he had wept over everything. The loss of his fellow brothers, the death of jedi he had known personally, the fear of losing Ahsoka, those things and many more made the floodgates low late into the night, and when he could not weep one more tear, he finally fell into a fitful sleep.

Rex never considered himself a man free of sin.