Chapter Eighteen-Memories

Edward stared at the pages laying on the desk in front of him. His eyebrow twitched as his amber gaze went from one page to the next.

'Come on, this is not that difficult, think. Think.' He placed the paper in his hand down only to pick up another one. 'I know I can cracked this. Have to figure it out.' Another minute went by of intense contemplation before he tossed the paper down and ruffled his own hair on both sides of his head.

"It's hopeless! I'll never figure this out!" Winry and Trisha heard him from the kitchen and both women exchanged concerned looks.

"So he's really been in there since yesterday? I knew I didn't hear him leave last night," Trisha commented as she fixed lunch. The fact of the matter was that Winry and Ed didn't live here with his mom, they lived with Pinako just like Edward remembered. Winry glanced down at the baby sucking on a pacifier, in her arms.

"I don't know what he's trying to accomplish but whatever it was seems to be very important to him," Winry mentioned.

"Well whatever it is, it can wait till after lunch." Trisha set three plates of food on the table and cleaned her hands on her apron before knocking on the door. "Edward, dear. It's time for lunch. Come on." Her tone was light and seemed to be enough to draw him to the door.

"I'll be right out, Mom. But first, Winry can you come take a look at something?" He sounded very somber and she wondered if it was from being tired. Handing the baby to Trisha, she walked into the office to see what he wanted. The desktop had several papers on it, neatly organized in two different categories. Ed had always liked order after all. Taking the glasses off his face, he tapped the one pile.

"This is everything that I've found to be inconsistent lately. There's quite a bit that's not right." Winry let out a quiet sigh before looking up at him. Knowing he had been at this all night, she wondered when he had gotten any sleep. He didn't seem tired at all though.

"Edward, I thought we talked about this already." The deep frown that was almost always present on his face became even more evident when she said that.

"You have to see this first. If you don't believe me after this I won't bother you any more." He went over to the suit of armor and pulled at the chest plate.

"Are you sure you should be messing with that? It's very old." He ignored her and set the front part down and pointed inside to her.

"Remember what I said about Al loosing his body. Well I brought his soul back and put it in this armor. The transmutation circle is still on the back in my blood." She arched an eyebrow and leaned forward to get a look inside.

"Where is it. I don't see anything." He quickly pulled her out of the way.

"What do you mean? It's right..." Staring in shock, his jaw dropped. There was nothing there. No blood seal, not even a mark.

"Ed it's okay, I've had dreams before that felt so real I thought they were. It happens but this is starting to become unhealthy."

"Winry, this wasn't a dream. It was here last night." There was another knock on the open door.

"Come on you two, lunch is going to get cold." She noticed the suit of armor. "And Edward, what have I said about playing in here. You shouldn't mess with your father's things." Ed slumped his shoulders and followed his wife and mother out of the room, closing the door behind him. "It's one of your favorites Ed. Grilled cheese and tomato soup." His mother seemed so proud of herself.

"Thanks, that's really nice of you." Mentally he noted that although he had only eaten two meals since he'd been back in Resembol, they were two of his favorites. Of course she could have just done it because she was worried about him. Quietly he ate his lunch which only made Winry and his mom worry more about him. When they were finished eating he stood from the table and looked down at both of them. "If it's alright, I'm gonna go take a walk. Need to clear my head." Winry furrowed her brow but knew if she asked him to stay he wouldn't. Once he was gone, she rose from her seat and brought the dishes over to the sink.

"Do you think he needs to see a doctor or something? He seems so down about being home," she asked Trisha.

"Well I did hear about this thing called post traumatic stress disorder. It's where you've experienced something awful and you don't know how to deal with it. So you just get depressed."

Something awful, huh. I wish I knew what that was."

oOoOo

Ed walked towards the simple grave yard. No one ever seemed to be there and today was no different. There was one particular grave stone he was looking for and he knew exactly where it was. He had visited it several times in the past but why it was here now made no sense. Trisha Elrics' name was carved deeply into the granite, right next to his father's grave. There was no denying it was real but he knew if he brought Winry back here to show her, it would disappear just like the blood seal.

A grim smile reached his mouth as he realized he had his mom back in a sense but was hanging out here in a cemetery. He recalled several nights right after she had died where he would sneak out here and sleep next to the headstone. Al didn't know about it at the time but it had brought him some comfort. He would talk to her, tell her that he was going to bring her back with alchemy. He had been such a fool. Taking his time to head back home, he realized the sun was setting behind the mountain peak. Kicking a pebble along the path, he walked back up the hill. As he got closer to the house, he glanced up to see a tall blond man pushing a little boy on the swing in the front of the house. His swing from when he was little. The child was laughing and he recognized the man as his dad. Despite just seeing the man's grave stone, which only proved his doubt even more. Something inside of him pushed him forward as he ran the rest of the distance. His dad would know what to do about all this. Stopping for a second to catch his breath, he made the mistake of looking down. When he looked back up the swing was still and no one was outside waiting for him. It just made him feel even more alone. As he headed inside, his mom caught sight of him and smiled lightly.

"Hey little man, how was your walk?"

"I'm not little anymore, Mom." His tone was quiet and she didn't respond. He had never had a problem with her nick name for him but now it just bothered him. That woman in the kitchen wasn't his mom. Just a ghost and nothing more. He went back into the office and turned on the light to reveal the place was back in it's original state. Papers cluttered the floor while books lay open on the desk. There was a stale smell hanging in the air and a layer of dust covered everything. "But I just cleaned this room." He grit his teeth and turned back to Trisha. "Did you go in here?" She didn't look back at him when she spoke.

"No dear, no ones' been in there since you left." He nodded and went back into the office and closed the door behind him. "So much like his father." Trisha let out a sigh.

oOoOo

The night wore on and Ed found all his notes and organized everything again. Taking a seat, he went over the pages in front of him once more. At some point, he realized his back felt a little stiff and he leaned back to stretch. The next thing he noticed was that he was kind of hungry. Had they let him skip dinner? Wearily he got up and headed out to the living room. Winry had fallen asleep on the couch and he assumed the baby was up in his old room. He leaned over her, brushing her hair off her shoulder. He knew he was probably driving her crazy but he couldn't help what he knew was right. Once he covered her up with a blanket he went to find something to eat. On the table was a plate with a sandwich on it for him. Scarfing it quickly he decided to grab a glass of water before heading back in. He couldn't figure out why he wasn't tired. It had to be past midnight by this point.

As he closed the door behind him, he narrowed his gaze in the dim light from the lantern. There was something scribbled on the floor. The transmutation circle looked like it had been carefully drawn out. Whoever drew it had a steady hand and must have studied it before chalking it out on the uneven wooden floor. As he moved about halfway back to the desk, his left leg gave from under him and he dropped the glass in his hand. Trying to grab onto the wall for support, he lost his balance completely and went down.

"Ow, Dammit!" He rubbed his forehead. Opening his eyes, he glanced down at his automail to see what happened. His amber gaze went wide in fear when he noticed the puddle of blood around him. His leg was gone as though it never existed. The color drained from his face when he looked to his right to see Al's clothes laying on the floor. But the thing that caught his breath in his throat was right in front of him. There was a gurgling sound and a soft wheezing. "Oh God, no... please. I'm not here." He tried to back away, only to hit the wall behind him. The thing was staring at him. Staring with empty dead eyes. It's jaw opening with much effort as though to speak his name or to beg for him to kill it. It's twisted bony hand reached towards him and somehow it seemed to be getting closer. He tried to move but couldn't due to his leg missing. "S...stay away from me." He covered his ears, trying to block out the sound and slammed his eyes shut. "You're not real." Several seconds went by where he remained still, hoping this too would change. Something grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him to the floor. His eyes snapped open and he was face to face with the creature. It exhaled heavily into his face. The stench of decaying flesh made him want to be sick. The thing tilted it's head to the side as it desperately tried to inhale again, making a choking sound. There was no where for him to go. This was just like every nightmare he'd ever had but it never felt this real. He could barely shake his head, unable to process this. It exhales again, this time a strangled moan pushed forward as the gnarled crooked fingers reached for his throat. It was at that moment when Ed's pain voiced itself as he let out an agonizing shriek.

A/N-forgot to hollar at Punker88, I've missed your reviews. And Confused drambler, yeah your right I should just take a break now from this story right? XD ::evil::