Middle Earth High

Author's Note: Michelle/Iris would like to say a huge thanks to Wisperoak88 and BleuEyedGrrl for there extremely inspiring reviews - they had the desired effect of making the author feel obliged to write more, quickly. A special thanks to Wisperoak88 for being the first to review Penguins & Plotting as well as this chapter. Hope you're enjoying the hobbits' plan!

Part I: First Day Fall

The great halls of Middle Earth High had never looked better. The floors were polished and lined with majestic red rugs embroidered with gold string, the walls covered in a fresh coat of paint were then embraced with luxurious tapestries and even the chandelier radiated pride; each of its silver holders baring creamy-white candles each lit with a single, luminous fire.

Galadriel strolled down the stairway towards the "old students" who had been assigned the unfortunate task of cleaning. The first day of school – and the beginning of a new century – was a memorable day. The school would die of humiliation if the hundred-year-old hallway was found to be covered in dust and cobwebs – as it usually was.

"Alright, slaves – I mean… students… you've done a plausible job. One could say 'I am proud of your efforts' but seeing as it isn't true, I won't say it."

The students just stared at her.

"Oh, very well. You are dismissed."

As soon as the words left Galadriel's mouth, Frodo, Merry, Sam and Pippin ran over to meet by the rubbish bins; as planned.

"Well, it's time to commence operation Break Boromir's Heart!" Merry squealed.

"So, is everyone clear on the plan?" Pippin asked seriously.

"One more time, please?" begged Sam.

"Okay. We, as a group will be searching the crowd for eligible bachelors for Eowyn. We'll be searching for five main points. 1) He needs to be handsome, 2) he needs to be muscular, 3) he needs to be sociable, friendly, nice, 4) he has to like hobbits, 5) when Eowyn and him "coincidentally" meet, he has to be interested in her. Got that?"

All the hobbits nodded.

"Brilliant. It might take us a while, but it'll be worth it once we get it working." Pippin smiled, there wasn't a single thing that could spoil this first day

Merry tapped him on the shoulder. "Pippin?"

"Yeah?"

"It's your day to save the breakfast table."

"WHAT?!"

"You have to sit in the dining room and save our breakfast table so no one else sits there, remember? We have a chart, and today's your turn."

Pippin swore, turned on his heel and stormed off through the dining hall. That certainly spoiled his day.

Squashed between a group of hairy dwarves who called themselves 'The Seven Dwarves', Eowyn found herself longing for the scent of fresh air. 'Grumpy' – who seemed always very… well, grumpy – was soaked with the scent of sweat and 'Dopey' – whose name also suited him very well – had just farted. The rest of the dwarves found the "anal announcement" (as they called it) extremely amusing while Eowyn was disgusted to her very core. When, finally, she saw Faramir's familiar face and promisingly odorless presence, she couldn't help herself when she started smiling uncontrollably.

"Sorry, err, Seven Dwarves, but I think I might just go over there – there's a friend there that I haven't seen for a while."

The dwarves looked genuinely disappointed but Eowyn couldn't care less, she made a bolt for it as soon as they moved out of her way.

"FARAMIR!" she screamed over the crowd, quickly running as far away from the dwarves as possible. "FARAMIR!!!"

"Who's hot and who's not?" Sam said dramatically.

Frodo rolled his eyes.

"THAT GUY'S HOT!" screamed Merry pointing at an extremely startled Gimli.

Frodo pinched Merry, "no he isn't! Check out that massive growth of facial hair, the short stubby legs and gut-fat. No way would Eowyn fall for him!"

"HEY!" Gimli shouted but the hobbits soon lost him in the crowd.

"What about him?" Sam pointed to Legolas who was leaning against the stair rail some distance away.

"Hmm," Frodo took a good look. "He's cute… but his muscular build is sort of too graceful and seriously, long flowing blonde hair? I think Eowyn might get a little jealous…"

"Good point."

The hobbits continued looking around getting more and more disturbed by Frodo's taste in guys as they went.

"HIM! He's the one!" Frodo eventually shouted.

Sam and Merry both jumped. "WHERE?!"

Frodo pointed to an oblivious Faramir. "Don't you see it? Great legs, hint of a six-pack and handsome face."

"What about the facial hair?" Merry asked.

"Eh, we can always wax it off one night while he's asleep," shrugged Sam.

"NO! He has hot facial hair, that other guy's was over-grown but his is just right."

Sam and Merry shrugged.

"Let's go get him!" screamed Frodo.

Faramir turned to the sound of his name being called. The voice was familiar to him… a voice he had heard long ago…

"E – Eowyn?" he hardly dared to whisper the name.

"Faramir!"

In amongst the bobbing heads of new students in the crowd, he caught sight of her. Smiling buoyantly, she waved at him before being once again lost from sight.

He was about to run into the crowd when he spotted her some twenty-five meters from where he was standing. "Stay there!" he shouted, "I'm coming over!"

Frodo was high on adrenaline. His short legs were pumping madly in a desperate attempt to reach the mystery man who he decided was "the one" for Eowyn. He had long surpassed Merry and Sam, forgetting them somewhere behind him in the crowd.

He was meters away… so close…

"FRODO, LOOK OUT!"

Before he had time to react, his foot found its way against someone's suitcase and Frodo felt himself flying towards Eowyn's perfect match. As he tumbled forward he saw a name on a name-tag attached to the suitcase. Boromir. Frodo's teeth began to grind together. Another reason to continue the revenge plan.

Frodo's mind began to drift to other things. What a way to meet someone – by crashing into them, he thought. But he wasn't worried. The tall, stocky, handsome blonde; Faramir, was there to break his fall. Feeling the wind running its invisible fingers through his hair, Frodo braced himself for his crash against Faramir… but it never happened.

Frodo had moved out of the way to meet Eowyn just when Frodo needed him.

"Curse you!" he screamed, just as he began falling over the stair railing. But just before he fell, he felt a rough hand tighten around his own. "Sam?" his eyes widened as he saw his trusted friend gripping desperately at his arm.

"MERRY! GIVE ME A HAND HERE!" Sam screamed madly.

Merry's eyes went wide as saucers. Paralyzed by fear, he fainted on the spot; his unconscious body kicked around by the busy crowd. The last Sam saw of him was Merry's body rolling towards the stairs, doomed to fall down all three flights of them. But Sam couldn't help for fear of letting go of Frodo.

"Sam, DON'T YOU DARE LET GO!" Frodo cried. Snot was bubbling at his nose while tears streamed down his cheeks. "DON'T DROP ME!"

"I won't Mr Frodo, I SWEAR, I WON'T!"

And then and there Sam felt the energy of a hundred hobbits rushing through his veins. His heartbeats were pounding in his head as he focused all his energy into saving Frodo. His arms were aching madly, but the pain could be ignored. With all his might, Sam pulled.

"OWWW, SAM! MY ARMS, AHHH!" Frodo was bawling his eyes out from the agony of having his arm pulled so hard.

Sam's sight became fuzzy. Apparently his rush of energy wasn't enough, Frodo was still dangling over the edge. Everything was suddenly all too much for Sam… he couldn't hold on to Frodo, he felt his grip slipping… slowly, slowly letting go of every single finger of Frodo's hand. Before he could help himself, he felt his eyes close and unconsciousness overtake his being. The last thing he heard was Frodo's screams, "CURSE YOU SAM!", and a sickening crunch.

END OF CHAPTER

Coming Up Soon... Part II: First Day Freak