A/N: Sorry about the wait! Hope you like this one!

Thanks to 0white. as .snow0 for the review! Let me know what you think of this one, guys!

. : Chapter 10: Death in Dreams : .

"They'll be back soon lass; stop ye fretting. They're due home tonight." Vanora tries to coax the youngest from her glazy-eyed stupor.

Lily is cradling little Ten, while Seven is sleeping soundly, leaning up against her legs. Tammy cradles the half-conscious baby and paces back and forth along the tavern floor. Ash is busying herself with cleaning, whilst trying to ignore Nine, as the little girl follows her around. The rest of Vanora's brood are running around with a dog out front where they can be easily watched.

"It's been ten days!" Tam stresses, rocking Eleven as he waves his arms wildly.

"Calm yourself, Tammy; that was what Arthur said." Vanora says, exasperated. "'Tis not the longest they've been away… Oh heavens, Ash, do something." The older woman exclaims, at a loss.

"Not much I can do. But these bastards had better haul their sorry arses back here soon, so I can kick them up around their ears. Not only is Lily still getting her regular nightmares, but now she's got new ones about the fools getting killed…and she remembers these!" Ash fumes quietly, so as not to distress Tam and Lily further.

Vanora shoots her an annoyed glance as she scoops up Nine. "I know. I'm here too."

"How did they get so damn attached to them?" Ash hisses, slamming a mug down on the bar.

The long-suffering red head sighs as her daughter demands to be put down. "They're caring people, Ash; it's just the way they are."

Ash blows her darker red hair away from her eyes in annoyance. "I know why. Give me some credit, Van. I'm not that stupid. Tam is obviously crackers for Gawain, and Lily sees her brother in them all somehow. She sees the family she wants so badly, but they could die every time they leave the damn fort. I don't understand why they do it to themselves."

"And you do not care what happens to them?" Vanora questions.

"Of course I care. Believe it or not I like them too…most of them anyway…most of the time. And I'm worried, honest I am, but…I don't like what their absence is doing to my girls." Ash says exasperatedly.

Van smiles and touches Ash's shoulder reassuringly. The girl isn't nearly as cold-hearted as she makes herself out to be. Why she did it, Vanora wasn't quite sure, but Lily had mentioned something about her having a rough family life. The topic had only been touched on once one night after Ash had had a nasty run in with one of the tavern's patrons and thrown him out. So she understands the girl's wariness of being joined in a family again, apart from her friends.

Vanora sighs once more, looking to her children. They were a family before the girls had arrived, albeit a dysfunctional one, but still a family. She loves Bors with everything in her, and the knights were his brothers, not just in arms. Even if the same blood does not flow in their veins, it had mixed together often enough for them to be brothers.

The barkeep pauses and a soft smile lights her features as she thinks of the Knights. While more often then not, they are the cause of most of her headaches, she couldn't deny that she loves the insufferable fools like brothers. Despite all the hardships they've seen, they are all kind souls. If you look at Tristan really hard, you can see it even in him.

And now, she has sisters it seems. The girls merely made their family bigger, happier, and more complete.

She shakes her head and chuckles softly. How things have changed in the short time the girls have been here. Things are certainly livelier. The elder woman smirks at she thinks of a certain long-haired Knight and a certain brunette woman. It wouldn't be long before there would be another 'Knight's Woman' at the fort.

'And Galahad…dear gods that boy was painfully obvious.' She thinks, amused. 'Tis a wonder how Lily has not seen it yet…' Vanora had to agree with Ash on one point though, Lancelot was just a menace. Their relationship would be most amusing to watch, for sure.

"TWO! Get your brother down from there right now!" Vanora yells, coming out of her thoughts.

"They're like animals!" Ash mumbles. "Where do they get it from?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Tam laughs for the first time since Lily's nightmares of the men's brutal deaths began about five days ago.

"Bors, that rotten bastard." Ash grimaces. "They probably pick half of it up by spending time around the rest of them. That's something else I can yell at them for."

Lily smiles tiredly at her and shakes her head. "Yeah well, at least let us say hello to them before you start…and no massacre either."

Ash pouts unhappily. "You take out all the fun."

"I know, suck it up."

"Glad you're feeling better." Ash says dryly.

Lily grins weakly at her, the dark bags under her eyes clearly noticeable. "Why thank you; now if you wake up these children I will give them both to you."

Ash's crimson eyes nearly pop out of her head. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?"

"Shit, you would too, you horrible person. Fine, fine I'm not saying anything..."

"You should go and rest." Vanora says gently as Lily yawns.

"I'm fine." She mumbles, but the relaxing feel of the sun on her skin is almost too much for her eyelids.

"And I'm a monkey's uncle." Ash retorts sarcastically. "Get your arse to bed, woman! I will personally come and get you if idiot incorporated turn up."

"But…what about my dreams?" She protests, but the other women are already taking the children from her.

"It's day time. You never get them when it's light." Ash reasons, hauling her to her feet.

"I've also never remembered them before. I'm scared to close my eyes." she whispers the last part so softly that Ash has to lean in to hear her.

"You're not on your own, Lil, and you never will be. In three weeks you've attained more guardians then any normal person would have in three lifetimes."

"Mm, seven aren't here though." Her voice starts to fade as Vanora waves a passing Jols over.

"What? Four not enough for ya? My goodness girl, you're spoilt rotten, you are." She laughs before handing Lil over to Jols.

"Hmm hi, Jols." Lil mutters as the man scoops her up and she curls into his chest.

He chuckles. "Hi Lil, off to bed with you now."

"M'kay. You win."

He grins at the others who return his amused look before he carries her away.

Lily passes out on the way to her room, and Jols gently tucks her into bed and leaves, shutting the door behind him.

Sighing, he says a silent prayer to the gods that the knights hurry up and return. He isn't sure how much more they can take of Lily's distress, or Ash's fury at Lily's distress. He'd almost lost a stable hand the other day, and Vanora is getting increasingly upset at her roughing up her customers. They had brought it upon themselves though when the poor drunken souls reached for the fiery young redhead.

She's a real piece of work. Lancelot has his hands full with that one.

Shaking his head, Jols goes back to the stables, praying to anyone and everyone that the knights return safely that night.

oOo

As luck would have it, just past midnight, the men ride through the main wall gates. Home. Safe.

"It's about damn time." Ash grunts, setting her serving plate down and yelling to Vanora that they were back before leaving and heading to get Lily, who's slept peacefully.

When she opens the door to Lily's room, however, she is startled to find her friend already awake.

"They're back. Why are you awake?"

The blonde shrugs to the question, uncurling herself from her perch on the window. The light, white dress she wore has spaghetti straps and went right to the floor. "I was waiting."

"Aren't you going to change out of…whatever that is?" Ash asks as she slides past her.

"Nope. It's just a…something, one of the maids brought me after I had a bath and I don't have time to change!" Lil yells as she runs down the hall, down the stairs and out of the barracks.

Sighing to herself, Ash runs after her, managing to catch up to her, and together they bolt for the court yard.

Poor Dagonet just about has holes burned into his back and the wind knocked out of him as the three smaller bodies slam one after the other into his. He has no trouble wrapping his large arms around all of them though.

Lily reaches him first and flings her arms around his neck, burying her head in his shoulder. Then the other two slide in under either arm. Ash peers around his massive form to look at the others. They're all bloody, dirty and tired looking. Not to mention glaring at Dagonet.

She laughs. "Jealous lot aren't you? Don't worry you'll all get a hug, ya babies. Anyone hurt?"

They shake their heads, now smiling. Tam lets go of Dag and flings herself into Gawain's arms.

Ash and Lily also let go and allow the rest their hugs. Ash even embraces Lancelot quickly, then pulls back and slaps him sharply across the face.

"You assholes!" She yells, stamping a foot angrily. "What the hell took you so long? They've been worried to death about you lot! And I am so not done yet either!"

Galahad grins down at Lily who is shaking her head, shadows playing across her pale features in the dim torchlight. "Just when I was about to say if only every time we came home was like this. I'd go away purely to come back."

Lily chuckles and has to pull out of his hold as she moves to Tristan. "Leave them alone, Ash, can't you see they're tired?" She reaches up and touches the blood splatter on his cheek. "That had better be someone else's, Tristan." she whispers, smiling. He shakes his head yes, allowing himself a small smile. It's gone as fast as it came. "Good, I knew I'd left you all in the most capable hands. There are baths ready for you in your rooms, go and take one."

"Yes, go and take a long one." Tammy adds, scrunching up her nose and backing away from Gawain. "You obviously need it. Then there will be food in the hall and your beds will be ready, which is where you all will be going. To your own beds. Straight. After." She clarifies, crossing her arms when Lancelot looks like he might argue.

"And if you have any wounds, not matter how trivial you think that they are, tell me or Tam and we'll fix it before you go to sleep, okay?" Lily throws in, already ushering them towards their rooms.

They nod and Vanora kicks Bors in the same direction. Lancelot loops an arm around Lily's waist and pulls her to him.

"Well, I have to get back to work, so I shall leave you in Lil and Tam's capable hands and I will resume my yelling at you in the morning. Sleep well. Lunatics." Ash mumbles the last part but they hear her as she swaggers off back to the tavern with Vanora.

"Come on, you look like hell." Tam laughs and leads the way.

Lily detaches herself from Lancelot and pushes him towards his door. "We'll know if you don't, and if you try to skip out on your bath you'll get a cold one in the pond, and there's fish in there."

Bors grunts. "I don't like baths."

The girls exchange a look. "Then Van won't like you much, will she? She was saying just this morning that she liked you better when you were clean."

He blinks twice before marching to his door with a look fit for one going into battle.

"It's just a bath." Lily mutters as Tam takes her away, the pair going to the dining hall to wait. "What sooks."

oOo

Fifteen minutes after they've entered the gigantic room, the doors swing open and Ash stands there, panting and looking absolutely terrified. She is holding Ten and Eleven in awkward positions under her arms.

"Here, take them!" she nearly throws the baby and toddler at her surprised friends. "They woke up and One brought them to Van, who said to bring them to you; we're busy. Have fun, it was nice knowing you both, bye." And she disappears as quickly as she came, slamming the door after her.

Lily looks down at Eleven and smiles at the baby boy, while Tam rolls her eyes and bounces his teary-eyed brother.

"Shh, little one." the brunette coos. "Come, Ten. It's alright, don't cry."

Lil holds the baby close to her body and begins humming as she rocks him gently. Tam glances at her as she recognises the tune, 'Can't take me' by Bryan Adams. Strange thing to be humming to a baby about to ball his little eyes out, but the younger woman's humming had a melodic sound to it.

She could probably hum screaming rock and roll and make it sound like a lullaby, Tam thought with a smile. Lily and Ash could sing but she couldn't. Not that it worried her, but when it came to the ability to lull manic mini people it was a skill that she envied.

Ash has yet to see if she can do it, since she avoids them like the plague.

Lil has wanders over to a window, still humming and cradling the baby when the doors open once more and the men came in.

They stop their ruckus noise-making when Tam glares at them and Lily's humming reaches their ears, she stops when she notices them however, and smiles.

"Nice bath?" she comes over and looks them up and down, before nodding her approval. "That'll do."

"That'll do?" Gawain repeats. "I never knew soap would hurt so much!"

Tam shakes her head at him. "Don't be such a wimp. It hurt because you don't use it often enough, probably."

"Actually it got into a cut."

"There you go then."

Ten reaches his arms out to his father and looks at him expectantly. Tam happily hands him over.

"Where are the others?" Bors asks, looking around for the rest. He must have noticed how quiet it was.

"Asleep. These two woke up."

"Da." The one and a half year old squeals happily, latching hold of his father's nose and grins.

"He'll also be a great fighter." Bors exclaims proudly, sounding like a choked up duck. "With a grip like that, he'll break bones."

"That's 'cause he's mine." Lancelot grins and yelps when Tam slaps the back of his head with little mercy.

The knights' smile as Tammy plants both hands on her hips and glares at them. "Sit. Eat. Sir Lancelot, one more word from your mouth on that subject and the next thing I hit you with will be Cook's largest frying pan. And Bors, you shouldn't encourage your sons to fight, it's not good for them."

"'Course it is, woman." The burly man replies, pulling his nose out of his son's grip and sitting down in the closest chair, perching the toddler on his knee.

"Do not argue with me, Bors." Tam narrows her eyes. "Gilly has gotten himself into four fights while you were away; started three of them! And I had to yank Lily out of her work to stitch up a cut on his arm! Vanora was not pleased."

He looks proud to start with, but that dissolves to worry, and then to fear as Tam finishes.

"Is he alright?"

"Yes, it was only a small cut. Just deep enough for me to stitch it. One of the boys he was fighting pushed him back and he landed on a broken plank. He'll be fine." Lily replies soothingly. "Ash dealt with the other boy so there is no need to track him down."

Bors pokes at his food; muttering Gods only know what and allows Ten to pull bits off his plate.

The baby is almost asleep. His little eyes droop lower every minute. Lily smiles gently at him and tenderly stokes his cheek, stifling a yawn.

Tam narrows in on her like a hawk. "Did you sleep today?"

"Yes."

"For how long?" Tam pushes suspiciously, noticing the guilty look in the blonde's eyes.

"A little while." Lil replies sheepishly.

"Why does she need to sleep during the day?" Dagonet asks, also zoning in on their conversation like a hawk on a field mouse. Lily groans. This would alert them all to her nightmares and deprivation of sleep. Not only will she be sent straight to bed, but also look even more helpless in their eyes.

Fantastic, she thought sourly.

"Because she doesn't sleep at night." Tam says shortly, obviously not giving a damn about her friend's silent protests.

Dagonet looks at her questioningly and raises an eyebrow, waiting for her to tell him.

She mumbles unhappily and glares at Tammy who just shrugs. When she refuses to answer, instead returning her attention to the baby and walking back to the window, Tam sighs and answers for her.

"Nightmares. She's been having nightmares of your impending doom the last few nights. Her logic is that if she doesn't sleep, she won't see you killed."

"We're back now, everything is fine." Arthur says to her, his voice caring and sympathetic.

Lily turns and glares at Tammy again, before handing her friend Eleven, who is immediately upset with his change of arms, and leaves the room.

"Anyone injured?"

"No, we are all fine." Arthur sighs tiredly, watching the door where Lily had disappeared, he worries about her. He scrubbed a hand over his face. He worries about everything.

"Good, I'll see you in the morning then. Bors, I'll take the children back to Van's house." They notice then that she, to, looks worn out and Gawain resists the urge to pull her to him and hold her. He, and nearly all the others, make a mental note to enquire exactly what had transpired since their departure to leave the women in their current states.

Taking Ten from his father's lap, Tammy smiles, and bids them all a good night's rest before gliding out of the room. She pauses at the door and looks back. "Oh and just a heads up, Ash has made herself a very long list of things to yell at you all about as soon as you wake." And she left.

They groan.

"Do you need any errands run, Arthur? Patrols, anything?" Lancelot pleads. Anything to get away from the moody redhead and the certain death that awaited them come sunrise.

Arthur shakes his head glumly. "No…perhaps we could take a trip south of the wall to check for Woads?" He suggests.

"What about north of the wall?" Lancelot adds hopefully. "If we get lucky we'll get killed."

Dagonet frowns at his panicky brothers. "We will not be going anywhere, Ash isn't that bad."

"Easy for you to say." Gawain puts in dryly. "She likes you."

"That woman is surely some sort of demon." Galahad shivers.

"Even your Satan would be afraid of her." Lancelot says bitterly.

Bors laughs. "Never thought I'd see the day you'd be afraid of a woman, and such a stunning young one at that."

"Shut up."

"Arthur, I suggest we do not push them unnecessarily." Dagonet says firmly. "I worry for Lily, and Tam also did not take well to our absence. Something is wrong here."

Tristan surprises them all when he nods in agreement. The gentle knight smiles at him gratefully.

"I agree." Arthur says, slowly. "But…what will we do about Ash?"

"She's a danger to our health." Galahad pronounces. "She's threatened to kill us in our sleep! Perhaps Lily and Tam can come with us?"

"Even better, we send her north of the wall!" Lancelot suggests brightly. He's given very dirty looks from the others.

"She won't hurt us." Dagonet argues. "She likes us… most of us, but she wouldn't ever upset her friends. She will not harm us physically unless we give her good reason to. Why you are so afraid of her, I will never know."

"Oh, so Satan's better is only going to emotionally wound us, how wonderful." Lancelot retorts sarcastically. "That's much better. Where have you been? Have you not met Ash? She'd probably have all the Woads running back to their tree houses."

"Just grow a set, take her words then she'll feel better and it'll all be over." Bors grumbles. "It's too late for this, I'm off."

"As am I. I'm going to find Lily." Dagonet adds, then follows his best friend out the door, leaving the others to debate what tomorrow will bring for their life expectancy.

Dagonet tries Lil's room first, but it is empty. Bors had offered to help but Dagonet had declined, suspecting that Lily would talk better in a one on one situation. He now finds himself outside the almost empty stables, the light of only one torch illuminating the place.

Lily stands in Bell's stall, her head resting against the mare's neck as one hand strokes her chest and the other rests on her shoulder. She is unaware of his presence until he leans against the stable door and speaks.

"Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"

She whips around to face him, but relaxes immediately and shrugs. "Couldn't."

"Liar. You didn't even go to your room."

She smiles sheepishly and picks up a brush to begin on Bells' already spotless coat. "Why'd you have to be so knowing, Dag?"

He smiles and lets himself in. "It comes from being around the others and detecting Lancelot's attempts at avoiding duties. Tristan is much better at it then I."

She chuckles slightly but she keeps her eyes glued to her horses' back.

"What is bothering you?" He asks softly, gently lifting her chin and making her look at him.

"I feel stupid, helpless…breakable." She confesses in her softest voice.

"Why?"

"Because of what happens!" She retorts angrily. "It doesn't happen to Ash or Tam! Only me, and I'm the youngest. I'm always shadowed by someone, like they don't trust me to stand on my own two feet! I don't like waking up screaming and crying and so scared I can't breathe." She pauses and takes a deep breath, calming herself as her voice has gotten louder. "I don't want it to rule me anymore. Soft doesn't survive in this world, and I am soft. I'm weak…"

"Have you ever spoken to anyone about your life?" He interrupts, placing both hands on her shoulders. She shakes her head. "Tell me." It isn't a request.

"I can't, Dag, it hurts." She whispers hoarsely, avoiding his big, knowing eyes.

"It may help you. The men have faced many great dangers, seen and done brutal things. It helps sometimes to tell someone." He rubs her shoulders, searching for signs that she'd give in. "It will remain between us. I promise."

She takes a deep breath and cocks her head to the side, studying him for a moment before nodding slowly.

"I…had an accident when I was six." She begins unsurely, slowly. "I lost all memory from before that day. I don't remember anything, except flashes of my brother and me, but that's it. I met Ash when I was seven, we both ended up in the same fencing class, that's swordplay, and we've been best friends since. We met Tammy on the first day of high school and she took us under her wing kind of, been mothering us since day one." She pauses to smile at the memory.

"Two years ago, my brother was killed in the training accident I told you of when we met. My father had always favoured him and was destroyed by his death. He started drinking excessively and…abusing me when he was drunk. He'd hit me, over and over and tell me it should have been me that died and not Dean." She closes her eyes to ward off the tears.

"My mother never did anything to help me, except help me hide the bruises after. She was too scared to step in. I started having the nightmares about four months after Dean's death, after Dad committed suicide a year later the nights just got worse. Nothing we tried would stop them and that's pretty much how it's been ever since. It's terror, Dagonet, it's all I feel. All I can do is worry and think the worst. I can't help it. And you're… you're so like him. I see my brother when I look at you."

She sniffs. "And that's horrible, 'cause you're not him. None of you are. It's not fair of me to do that. But I feel…" She clutches his wrists tightly, her fingernails imprinting in his skin. "I feel something other than fear, when I'm with you. You, and Tristan and Galahad and Bors and Gawain and Arthur; hell, even Lancelot. You've done something…"

Tears were in her eyes but she didn't let them fall.

Dagonet stares at her for a moment, letting her confession sink into him. "It does not make you weak, Lily. If anything, you are strong for enduring it and still standing above it."

She snorts. "But I haven't stood above it, have I? I still have the nightmares. You guys go away and I have more nightmares that you wouldn't come back. I cry more than half of the children, I'm mothered just as much as they are, and sometimes I actually go looking for it. I can't be nineteen. I'm not…right. It's selfish of me to place you all in that position. You have enough things to worry about without me making it harder for you."

"You do not make it harder, little one. There's nothing to be ashamed of." He assures her calmly, debating on the best ways to kill her father if he had not gotten there before him. "We do not think of you as trouble. It's been a long time since we've had people waiting for us to come back. For a long time, we only had each other; then Vanora came, now you and the girls. We do not see you as weak, merely human."

She sniffs again and wipes her eyes, smiling up at him. "Thank you, Dagonet."

He returns her smile and pulls her to him in a tight hug. "Think nothing of it, I am always here. It is good to have family again."

She sighs into his chest. His simple words meant more than anything. She wraps her arms tightly around his torso and breathes in his calming scent, exhaling in barely a whisper. "Thank you, so much."

"I'll take you to your room, you need rest. Everything will be fine." He soothes and scoops her up into his arms. She smiles and cursed into his bigger form.

"Alright, I'll go to bed. You'll all be at breakfast?"

Chuckling, he replies. "Even if I have to drag them all to the tavern myself."

She laughs quietly as they leave the stable, feeling better then she ever had since Dean's death. "Don't let me oversleep then, this will be something I have to see."

A/N: Woah that's a long one, lol. Should keep you happy for a while right? (: I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so much to princesspomegranate BETA-ing it for me, you're the best (:

I'm seriously busy at the moment, with everything happening here, but next chapter will be up as soon as it's ready. Thank you so much for reading and for all the alerts and faves.

Pretty pretty please review!

~Meg xx