Title: Crotchety Old Bachelors

Rating: K

Pairings/Characters: Merry and Pippin friendship, with mentions of Sam/Rosie, Aragorn/Arwen, Eowyn/Faramir, and Eomer/Lothiriel

Enjoy!

oOo

Pippin sighed happily as he puffed a ring of smoke out of his mouth, sitting by a trickling stream. This, leaning against a tree, a pipe in one hand and a mug of ale in the other, was the life. Not fighting Orcs, not climbing freezing mountains or crawling through dark mines, and certainly not going without second-breakfasts (he would never understand how his non-Hobbit friends survived without it). Pippin's peaceful moment was ruined by the tromping of feet reaching his ears. Merry, his cousin and dearest friend came into view, grinning wildly.

"Pippin, he did it! He finally did it!"

Pippin raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Who did what, Merry?"

Merry shook his head, still grinning triumphantly.

"Go on, have a guess."

Pippin thought for a moment.

"Don't tell me Fatty Bolger's finally eaten himself to death—"

"No, but he's close. Guess again." Merry interrupted.

"You finally got Gimli to give you your pipeweed?"

"No."

"Eomer's murdered Legolas?"

"No."

Pippin sighed, the relaxing effects of his pipe and ale dissipating.

"Merry, just bloody tell me already."

"Sam asked Rosie to marry him."

Merry flinched back, laughing, as Pippin spewed the last sip of ale he had taken out of his mouth.

"Sam did what?"

"Aye, right in front of the whole tavern too! Just dropped to one knee and asked her! She said yes, of course, and then covered him in kisses. I've never seen Sam turn so red in my whole life; I thought he would surely faint." Merry chuckled. Pippin's face was frozen. Merry looked at him strangely; it was not like him to be so unmoved by such good news. "Alright Pip, what's troubling you?"

Pippin forced a smile.

"Nothing! Hooray, congratulations, and all that." He said, voice obviously unenthusiastic.

"Just spit it out, Pippin." Merry said. Pippin sighed and set his pipe across his mug.

"Marriage." Pippin said the word like a curse, earning an alarmed look from Merry.

"What's wrong with marriage? You said yourself, just last week, that you couldn't wait to find the right girl to marry." Merry said. Pippin jumped to his feet and began to pace, clearly agitated.

"First it was Aragorn and Arwen, which we all knew was going to happen from the beginning, then Eowyn and Faramir, which wasn't expected but still rather lovely, since no two people deserve their happiness more than them, then Eomer and Lothiriel, which was so obvious that it makes you embarrassed to be in the same room with them when they're having a romantic moment, and now, Sam and Rosie. Merry, why is everyone getting married?"

Merry stared at his friend for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. Pippin glared at him as he rolled about on the ground, holding his sides. Finally, the laughter subsided and Merry sat up.

"You're complaining about our friends' happiness? Did you not eat your second breakfast this morning, Pippin?"

Pippin scowled at him.

"It's not funny, Merry! What if we," his voice dropped to a whisper, "never marry? What if we become crotchety, old, bachelors who live alone at the end of the lanes, yelling at children and kicking dogs? What if," Pippin's voice went even softer, "we become Bilbo?"

Merry began to laugh again (he agreed that he did not ever want to become like Bilbo), but stopped short.

In truth, he had pictured himself married by his age, married and settled, in Buckland, with a pretty wife and a few children. He looked back into Pippin's worried face. This was his best friend; the one who had saved him on the fields of Pelennor, whom he had fought and laughed with so many times he had lost count, who had journeyed with through Moria, mountains, and the Gates of Mordor itself. Pippin looked back up at him when Merry thumped him on the back.

"If you do end up a crotchety old bachelor, Pip, I'll be there to keep you company. Though I won't be kicking any dogs." Merry said. Pippin's face lit up.

"You promise?"

"'Course I do. Though, I don't think you have much to worry about, Diamond of Long Cleeve's been pining over you for weeks now…"

Pippin's grin got even wider.

"Has she really? Well, I knew she couldn't resist my charms and boyish good looks forever…"

Merry laughed and slung an arm around Pippin's shoulders.

"Let's go congratulate Sam, ladies' man, before your head gets any bigger and I have to drag you by the arm into town."

Pippin laughed, and chattered happily all the way back.

Hopefully he'll still want to be my best man when I marry Estella…perhaps I should've told him that I plan to propose soon…

"Oi!" Pippin called, interrupting Merry's thoughts. The young Took was half way into the tavern. "Are you coming, slowpoke?"

Merry laughed and followed his friend inside.

"I'm right behind you."

And I always will be.

oOo

Author's Note: Pippin, despite his fears, did not become a "crotchety old bachelor." Instead, he married Diamond of Long Cleeve, and they had at least one son (whose name was never given), if not more children. Merry married Estella Bolger (sister of Fatty) and had one son, Faramir. Sam and Rosie (in the more typical Hobbit fashion) had thirteen children: Elanor (the Fair), Frodo, Rose, Merry, Pippin, Goldilocks, Hamfast, Daisy, Primrose, Bilbo, Ruby, Robin, and Tolman (Tom).

Pippin's son Faramir (named of course for Pippin's dear friend the Steward) married Sam's daughter Goldilocks.

Gotta love them Hobbits!

Reviews, comments, and anything else would be wonderful :)