"Like a boxer in a title fight, you have to walk in that ring alone."

-Billy Joel

"Will, we need to talk." JJ started as she stepped in the door. Her appointment with the Oncologist had gone well, but ever since her diagnosis, she knew what she had to do. A pit began forming in her stomach, knowing that this was not going to be pleasant.

"Jayje!" Will said excitedly as he saw her in the entry way. "How did it go?"

JJ fought to maintain control, this is what had to be done. Will wanted to be a part of every aspect of her recovery, but she just didn't have it in her to let it continue. "It was fine, but we need to talk."

"Sure." Will said, guiding JJ and himself over to the couch. Ever since she showed him the lump he had treated her like she was made of porcelain.

"Will, I—" She stopped, unsure of exactly how to say what she needed.

"JJ, it's okay. Really, you're going to be fine." Will assured her, misunderstanding what the conversation topic was about.

Sighing, JJ realized that she just needed to do it. "Will, I can't do this."

"JJ, everything is going to work out." Will continued to comfort her, making her clarification only that much harder.

"Will," She shook her head, firm that this decision needed to be final, "we need to break up."

Floored, Will simply stared at the blonde sitting across from him. "What?"

"Look, we haven't been really together for a long time. I just can't worry about whether you're happy or not. I don't have the energy to fight this, to take care of everything I need to, and to worry about us. And—" She stopped, her voice hitching in her throat at the thought of the most important reason to end the relationship with Will.

"And what?" Will asked, still confused.

"And this is serious. I've had an aunt and a sister die of breast cancer." JJ said, trying in vain to control herself.

"I know." Will said sadly.

"I need this to be over so that you can move on. So that you can be happy." JJ tried to find the words to explain how much she needed to do this. She felt her eyes beginning to tear at the frightening thoughts that had been dancing across her mind since the sickening discovery.

"But, I want to be there for you, JJ we can beat this, we can—"

"No, don't you see? This is what I'm talking about. There hasn't been a we for a long time. But if I don't make it through this" Holding up a hand to cut off his interjection, she continued "And if I—if I don't make it—I need you to have moved on so that Henry can have a dad who is happy and –" Her breath hitched again, and there was nothing she could do to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks, "And he needs a mom. Find him someone who can be his mom if I—if I don't—if—"

Will's own composure had long since past, and tears were currently coursing down the Southern man's face. "JJ, you know I can be there for you."

"I know." JJ said, smiling softly—the smile coming out more like a grimace, "But I need you to do this. I need to be able to focus on this." She said firmly.

"And after? After you've beaten this?" He asked. Truthfully, he had known for a while that he and JJ were over. They still got along, but there was no passion between them. The connection they had was far gone, and for a long time, it had become obvious that they were only in this for the sake of their son. Now JJ had something else to worry about, but he wasn't willing to leave her in her moment of need unless that's what she really wanted. He had been raised to be a gentleman, and if JJ wanted him to wait for her, that's what he would do.

"I hope that you're already married to some brilliant woman." JJ said. "Henry needs a mom, and if—if I can't be there—then—"

"So you're pushing me away?" He asked skeptically.

"It's the only way I know how to face this. Alone." She informed sincerely. "It's the only way that I can think of to find some peace."

"JJ, this is just the fear talking." He insisted obstinately.

"Will." She said seriously. "Tell me this, if I didn't have cancer and I was breaking up with you, would you put up this fight?"

"JJ—"

"That's what I thought." She whispered. "I don't want you staying because I'm sick. You deserve to be happy, and I don't want you to be trapped because you feel responsible. You deserve better than that."

"Jayje—" Will said pleadingly.

"If this has done anything, it's opened my eyes. I can't spend my last months miserable." JJ confessed. "And I don't want you to be either."

"You'll make it through this." Will insisted, but JJ cut him off with a single look.

"I might." She shrugged. "And I also might not, either way, my choice is the same."

"Don't you dare say that!" Will hissed. "Don't say that you are going to die, you are not going to die."

"But I might, and I'd rather not spend my time left lying to myself." JJ retorted. "Not about the cancer, and not about us."

"JJ." He said one final time, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.

"You have work." JJ informed. "Go do your job, I promise by the time you come back, I'll be out of here."

"But what about Henry?" Will hoped that maybe JJ would reconsider for the sake of their son. "He deserves to have parents who love each other!"

"Yes, he does deserve that." JJ agreed. "Which is exactly why we can't be together anymore."

"But—"

"I love our son, and I thought for a moment that it might be better for him to get used to life without me, just to be ready, in case—But I couldn't do it. I'm too selfish. I need to face this alone, but I'll still be involved in Henry's life."

"JJ—"

"Will, if I don't do this now, I never will, and my life is too short now to be spent wishing I had done things differently." JJ admitted. "I don't want to die with any regrets."

"Just how bad is it?" Will whispered.

"Bad enough. They won't know for sure until after ther surgery, but--It's pretty bad." JJ said, her own voice barely a whisper. She might not want to lie to herself, but that didn't mean that she was ready to be entirely honest with herself either.

Coming to his own conclusion, Will sighed. "Fine. But I'm leaving. You're staying here. Henry can stay with you and the second he gets to be too much to handle, I'll take him. No questions asked. But then, once you're ready, he comes back to you. A little boy needs his mama."

JJ nodded, overcome with gratitude for the man sitting across from her. She might not love him as a soul mate, but she would be forever grateful for him making this easier. For him just letting her do this her way.

Alone.

"Hey Garcia, I need you to—" JJ said, stepping into her friend's dark office, but all her utterances were cut off by the blaring stare from Garcia's bloodshot eyes.

"You better finish that statement with 'hit me with a pan over the head' if you even think about talking about work." Garcia said seriously. "Sorry Buttercup, but I'm your best friend, I deserve more than that. So you tell me now why you had an appointment with an Oncologist or so help me I am telling the entire team."

"How did you know about that? Are you stalking me again?" JJ teased lightly, hoping to raise the mood from its current moroseness.

The only response to her question was an angry glare that nearly paralyzed the blonde liaison.

"Penelope." She said sentimentally, giving her friend a sad smile. "I don't know if telling you is such a good idea."

"Well guess what? I wasn't sure showing you those videos after Reid was abducted was a good idea, but I did anyway! I did! Because I'm your friend. So to hell with what's a good idea--tell me." Garcia insisted, fighting the tears that were swelling in her eyes.

JJ bit her lip uncertainly for a moment, before pulling a rolling chair next to the very distraught tech analyst and sat down carefully. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything." Garcia stated firmly. "Every last detail that you would find insignificant but is enough to drive me over the edge. Everything."

JJ sat silently for a long moment. "Have I ever told you about my sister Claire?"

"What in the world does that have to do with this?" Garcia asked disgustedly, thinking that JJ was actually trying to change the subject on her, and she was not about to let that happen.

"It has everything to do with this." JJ informed softly, trying to fight her own feelings of somberness. "Claire was only three years older than I am now when she died four years ago."

"JJ, I'm sorry but—"

"She died of breast cancer." JJ spat the last two words out, not caring for the taste they left in her mouth. "As did my Aunt and Will's mom. And who knows, maybe I will too?"

"What?" Garcia breathed. "What are you saying?"

"I'm dying." JJ said bluntly, watching as the words knocked the wind out of her best friend and trying to ignore the burning of her own eyes. "I'm dying just like they did."

"Jayje." Garcia panted, the tears now flowing more freely than ever before.

"I found out two days ago that I have breast cancer and it's much further along than anyone could have anticipated." She kept the words coming at a rapid pace, not letting any one of them stick on her tongue for too long. "I'm scheduled for surgery next week, and after that I'm probably starting Chemo based on the lab results. I broke up with Will. And now you're pretty much up to speed."

"You broke up with Will?" Garcia shrieked, still gasping for air through her tears. "Why would you do that?"

"Because it seemed like a good time." JJ confessed, not missing the daggers thrown at her by Garcia's puffy eyes.

"A good time? You have cancer! How in the hell is that a good time to break up with him?"

"It was a good excuse." JJ admitted. She didn't miss the gears that turned in Garcia's mind as she tried to process all of this information.

"So—you wanted this?" Garcia asked one more time, just to be sure.

"Yes, I wanted this. But I don't want everyone to know. I need to do this myself." JJ pleaded.

"Well if you think that I'm abandoning you just because you ask, think again Missy." Garcia said firmly, not leaving room for debate.

"Please don't tell everyone else." JJ begged, not sure whether she should feel grateful or slightly annoyed at Garcia's loyalty. Choosing the former, she sincerely hoped that Garcia would adhere to her wishes.

"Sugar beat, I know they'll all want to be there to help. Why can't we just—"

"Penelope, please. I'll be on medical leave soon enough, but I don't want them to treat me like I'm some fragile invalid that needs to be protected. That's only going to put all of them in danger."

"Peaches, I love you." Garcia huffed. "But sometimes you're a moron."

JJ smirked at the statement. "That's what my mother always said."

Garcia smirked. "At least someone in your family is right." She said, eyeing her friend with worry. Nothing that JJ could say could downplay the seriousness of this prognosis. But Penelope Garcia was certain of one thing. JJ may have to fight, but she wasn't going to have to do it alone.

Not for one second.

JJ walked resignedly to Hotch's office. Sighing deeply, she entered. "Hotch, can I talk to you?" She asked, not wanting to tell him everything that was happening, but knowing that she at least had to get the time off.

"Sure JJ, what can I do for you?"

"I'm having a medical procedure done next week, I'm going to have to take a few days off." She said, cringing at how formal it sounded. Hotch had always been a person she had been able to confide in. She had never particularly understood why others had insisted that Aaron Hotchner didn't have a heart. He was probably the person that she felt the easiest divulging information to.

"Of course. Is it serious?" He asked, concerned.

"It's not like I'm dying." She scoffed, adding silently in her mind "yet".

"Okay, but be sure to take as much time as you need." Hotch assured, returning to his paperwork.

"Thanks." She said, feeling only slightly guilty as she closed the door behind her.

"So, JJ, you going on vacation?" Morgan asked as JJ entered the bullpen. "I heard you are taking some time off next week." Raising his eyebrows suggestively, he added, "You and Will decided that Henry needs a little sister?"

"No." JJ blushed, totally unsure of how to respond. Desperately hoping to keep her impending condition a secret, she chose to remain silent.

"Oh, so you're going to take a family vacation?" Reid asked excitedly. He had never had many vacations in his own childhood, and was thrilled that Henry could have everything he didn't have growing up.

"No," JJ cringed, admitting "Will and I aren't---"

"Aren't leaving the house for a couple of days?" Emily teased.

"No. Will and I broke up and I'm having surgery." JJ said bluntly. The stunned look from her coworkers was priceless, but JJ was too busy trying to come up with a way not to have to inform them of her current medical problem. She loved her colleagues like family, but she hadn't even explained everything to her own mom. She just needed to get through this.

"Oh." Emily said awkwardly. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just having surgery on Friday, so I'm taking the next week off to recover." JJ said, grabbing a bunch of files to escape to her office as quickly as possible. She wasn't sure that she could have handled that situation any worse than she had.

"So, what's happening?" Morgan pried. "Getting a tattoo removed? Or--"

"She could be having female surgery." Reid interrupted in a hushed whisper, only a little too loudly.

JJ blushed, but found it far more easy to confirm than the truth. "It's not a big deal." She said evasively.

"You'd let us know if it was something serious, right?" Morgan asked with concern.

"Of course." JJ lied. They all had enough to worry about without her adding everything. She had never been one that could freely share what was going on in her life.

After all, there was nothing that they could do about it anyway.

"Hey mama," Morgan said, his voice full of charm as he walked into Garcia's Technological Lair.

"Hey Sugar." Garcia said disinterestedly as she quickly closed multiple windows before he could get a good look at what she was searching for. "What can I do for you?" She asked quickly.

He quirked his eyebrow in concern. "Baby Girl, what's up?"

"What do you mean?" She asked quickly, her eyes darting around looking for a plausible excuse. She wasn't about to betray JJ after only three days of keeping her secret.

"I mean with JJ. And you. Something's going on." Morgan deduced.

"She's having surgery, I'm just worried about her." Garcia admitted.

"So, what's wrong?" He pried gently, knowing that his Baby Girl would never let him down in his quest for information.

"Nothing's going on Derek," A voice said firmly from behind. Both he and Garcia whipped around to find JJ standing in her doorway. "So leave it alone."

"Come on JJ, I just--"

"No. Mind your own business." JJ insisted, shooting Garcia a warning glance.

"Derek. It's not big deal." Garcia lied, feeling horrible but willing to allow JJ this one moment of peace. "Just drop it."

"Jayje--" He started, only to be cut off by her cold glare.

"You have a case." She said her voice devoid of any semblence of forgiveness.

Feeling like a complete jerk, Morgan relented--they had a job to do.

"We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death."

-Leo F Buscaqlia