AN/ So I was astounded by the great reviews for the last chapter. Thank you so much for your support, and I hope you keep liking the story. As always, if there is an "item" that you would like to add to "the list" let me know and I'll try and make a chapter of it.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."

-Helen Keller

JJ sighed as she exited the Director's office. That had been one of the hardest meetings she had ever been in, and the sickening realization was--this was all going to get a lot harder.

Because she couldn't hide herself in the sand anymore.

The Director had been more than kind--insisting there were ways she could continue in whatever capacity with the Bureau that her illness would allow. As much as she had wanted to keep her illness a secret, it was going to come out soon anyway. After everything Hotch had done for her in the past, he deserved to know before office gossip reached his ears. Though as she thought about it, she wasn't sure who would be telling Hotch office gossip other than herself, or maybe Dave...but that wasn't important. What was important was that she was going to meet with Hotch the moment the plane landed from Michigan.

"Jayje!" Garcia cried, catching up with her and joining JJ on her walk down the hall back to the BAU offices. "How was your meeting?"

She shrugged, knowing she needed to talk to Hotch--but knowing didn't make it easier.

Kicking herself mentally, Penelope knew JJ needed a distraction. At least until the rest of the team got back. "I was just looking over the list." She whispered the last two words as if it was a national security secret, "I think I have some more things we've got to do."

"Like what?" JJ asked, unable to keep a grin from gracing her lips as she remembered her last forray with her friends. She was now beyond the point where she would question whether they should add to the list or not. With Garcia, it had become a slight obsession--adding to the list things that she had never thought of, and in all actuality, it made every moment all the more exciting.

"White water rafting." Garcia nodded excitedly. "Sounds incredible, right? Oh! And, what about driving a race car? Kevin's got this friend--"

Holding up a hand to stop Garcia's exhuberant explanation, JJ laughed lightly. "Yeah, why not? Lets add them both to the list."

Penelope squealed happily. "I know Emily wanted to go with you to look at some fancy painting thing too."

"Why is everyone adding to my list?" JJ scoffed lightheartedly. Truthfully, she relished the time that she got to spend with the team outside of the office, and though six months ago she would have thought it impossible, she had grown closer to the rag-tag collection of agents than she had ever imagined.

Garcia shrugged. "Probably because its an excuse for the rest of us to get to do all of the cool stuff we've always wanted to." Her light-hearted, truthful answer left little room for debate.

"Well, if I can help someone--that's what I'm here for." JJ scoffed as she ran a through her hair. Disgusted, she looked at the thick clump of hair that had been shed easily and was now entangled in her fingers.

Penelope looked at her friend in horror. "Oh Muffin." Her eyes welled up involuntarily as JJ sighed and pushed down the lump in her throat.

"It's okay Penelope. They told me this would happen." JJ assured her friend despite the pang of sorrow she felt well up inside of her. Luckily, she was saved from having to explain further when the elevator door opened to reveal the team coming back from the case.

"They told you what would happen?" Reid asked, exiting the elevator with the others in tow.

Ignoring him, she turned to Hotch. "Can you still meet with me now?" She asked, hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Of course JJ." He smirked softly and JJ felt an unusual pang of regret at the idea of the news she was about to break to him. Hotch had always seemed to have a protective instinct when it came to her, and she groaned with the realization that he would be one of the last to know. She didn't mean for it to be like that, but she couldn't change what was. All she could do now was be proactive in her decisions.

Because if she had learned anything, it was that time was definitely not on her side.

"How can I help you JJ?" The sincere look in Hotch's eyes was enough to send a lesser woman into a fit of tears. Fortunately, JJ was not a lesser woman.

"I need to be taken out of the field on modified assignment." The words spewed out of her mouth quickly, as if by speaking them quickly she could get the foul taste of the words out of her mouth.

"I don't understand." Hotch questioned as he looked over the formal request in front of him. "Has something changed?"

She swallowed a lump in her throat and fought to keep her face impassive. Unable to control the hitch that she knew would appear in her voice, she merely nodded.

"JJ, whatever this is, I can help." Hotch smiled sympathetically. "I think it goes without saying that you are a terrific agent, but I consider you a close friend. What's going on?"

She paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughtsw. "I'm sick." She murmured slightly and he had to strain to even make out the words.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He asked, hoping that she would elaborate.

"I'm sick." She replied, this time with more conviction behind the words.

"Well if you need to take a couple of days off--"

"Hotch, it's not like that. I have Stage III Breast Cancer," She felt the words spilling out of her mouth, but Hotch's dumbfounded expression did nothing to stop them so she just continued. "I spoke with the Director this morning. He told me I can stay on with the unit in a consulting capacity, but as I can't pass my yearly physical I have to be taken out of the field immediately. I know I should have told you earlier, but--"

"Cancer?" Hotch interrupted.

JJ nodded, "Cancer."

Hotch leaned back in his chair, the weight of the situation hitting him with full force. In many ways, he was closer to JJ than he was his own family, but cancer? He had watched his own father deteriorate due to lung cancer, and despite the hard feelings he had towards his father, he wouldn't wish that fate on his worst enemy. Let alone JJ.

"Who else knows?" He questioned.

JJ sighed, wanting to spare his feelings, but hoping that he would understand. "Most of the team and the Director. Will. My doctor. That's about it." She shrugged.

"So I'm the last to know?" The question came out before he had time to stop it.

"Not the last, just not the first." She corrected. "Garcia found out on her own, Derek, Emily, and Dave all know but just because it just kind of came out."

He nodded, quietly absorbing the information.

"I wanted to tell you earlier," She looked at him squarely, her eyes pleading with him to understand. "I just needed to figure this out for myself. I needed to know what my next step was before I made anything official."

Hotch nodded and bit back a pang of jealousy that JJ hadn't come to him first. He would have protected her like any other member of the team, but as he inspected her closely, his jealousy was washed away at the sight of her. He kicked himself for not noticing sooner that something was wrong--the haunted look in her eyes should have been a dead give away, and yet he had missed it. Though it killed him to admit it, he could see where she was coming from.

"What do you need from me?" He asked abruptly.

Now it was JJ's turn to look shocked. "From you?" She sputtered, completly unexpecting his quick volunteered assistance.

"How can I make this easier for you? JJ, you're like family to me. If there's anything I can do," He looked at her pointedly, hoping that she wouldn't mistake his words for some shallow condolance, "anything, you let me know."

"Thanks." She didn't bother to hide the tears in her eyes at his offer.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently, noticing her uncharacteristic loss for words.

She shook her head. "Maybe later. For now, I need to go talk to someone else before this all gets out."

Hotch quirked an eyebrow, curious as to who was left that JJ needed to inform of her current hardship.

JJ sighed and replied to Hotch's unvoiced question. "Reid. I've got to go tell Reid."

Walking out of Hotch's office, JJ sighed resignedly as she saw Reid at his desk, intently focused on the paperwork in front of him. She could feel Emily's eyes following her from Hotch's office, but she refused to match the concerned gaze. JJ was on a mission, and she couldn't be side-tracked until it was complete.

There was a reason she hadn't told him yet. They had long ago discussed his family and the trials he had encountered growing up. JJ could recall with heart-breaking clarity the lost look in Reid's eyes as he admitted, "Everyone who I've ever cared about has always left."

And now she was about to confirm the very real possibility that man she loved like a brother could very well have to step up to his Godfather duties far earlier than she had ever imagined.

"The indispensable first step to getting what you want out of life is to decide what you want."

-Stein