-Simple Fiction-

-x-

Kaoru stared, wide-eyed at his obviously crazy brother's suggestion. 'A No! What are you thinking!'

'She told me to! Haruhi told me to!' he pleaded, and Kaoru sighed, exasperated.

'In case you don't remember, Haruhi isn't in the position to tell you anything. And who in their right mind would tell you to let Renge, the love squaring otaku from hell, babysit!' he yelled at his obviously clueless brother.

'Kaoru,' Hikaru said sheepishly.

'What?'

'I'm right here,' Renge stated, making her presence known, uncaringly.

'J-just making a point, you know...'

-x-

'Okay,' Hikaru said, clapping as the three children, Renge and for some reason Kaoru, standing in front of him like they were in the army. 'This is whats happening. Cami, Ami and Ryuu, Renge is going to watch you this evening.

All the children gave the otaku a questioning look as she just smiled sheepishly back.

'Kaoru, get your portable sewing machine, we're leaving in a moment.' Kaoru saluted him mockingly and ran down the hall. Hikaru felt his gaze drift from the door to the over sized shopping bag slung over the female otaku's shoulder.

'Empty it, Renge.'

She gave him a questioning look of why should I?

'Renge,' he said warningly.

She grumbled, emptying it onto the sofa. A few pencils, fineliners, a laptop, a notebook, a sketchpad...and over seventeen yaoi manga's tumbled onto the couch. Hikaru walked briskly over, swiftly gathering all the doujiinshi's before any younge minds could be corrupted, stuffing them into his briefcase, shooting the now sulking otaku a glare.

'Buuuut, Hikaru-kuuuuuun...'

'Dont Hikaru-kun me, no. You are not letting my children read graphic yaoi. It'll corrupt them more than Kaoru making out with his boyfriends did. Kaoru, who had just walked into the room, lugging a sewing machine 'portable', sighed.

'That was low and uncalled for, bro, low and uncalled for...'

-x-

Hikaru's ride hadn't even reached the end of the road when the children went missing. Renge glanced up and around, then forgot all about them, turning the television on to some really bad dub of a half decent anime.

A few moments later, one of the six year old twins was in front of her, blocking her view of the hero and the villain, both male of course, fighting in a suggestive position that Renge was going to draw something for later. Renge ushered her off and the child point blank refused. She sighed, turning off the tv. 'Yes?'

'I'm hungry,' she grumbled. The other two were in, in a flash, by her side chanting we're hungry. Renge gave them a small smile, getting up to go wherever the freakin' kitchen. 'What do you kids want?'

They gave her an are you serious look, and chorused, 'maple syrup, duh!'

Renge grinned. Some things are hereditary...

-x-

They each randomly got a glass of the syrupy goop, enough to make anyone but a Hitachiin sick, and ran back up the stairs. This time, Renge decided to follow them, but before she could do anything, she was linked on each side by Cami and Ami, who were both wearing familiar Cheshire cat grins. They yanked her back into the sitting room.

'Renge-chan, can we use your magic markers?' they chorused.

She nodded and they squealed, gathering the 101 markers from where they were strewn across the couch. 'You'll help us, right, Renge-chan?'

The otaku shot them a grin, 'what do you need help with?'

-x-

Hikaru sighed, as Kaoru fidgeted, not unlike his brother the day before. 'You could've at least tried to get your tie straight,' the elder muttered, leaning in to fix the younger's clothes.

Kaoru shot him a grin, 'thats what you're for!'

Hikaru sighed, only managing a weak smile before scarf lady burst through the doors again. 'Oh good, you're both here,' she started, flicking her hair out of her eyes, 'where's my design?' Hikaru made a hurried right away as he undid the hatch on his case...

Just for over seventeen yaoi manga to fall out...

Hikaru froze in complete horror as the client picked up a very questionable cartoon of Kyoya and Tono. She blinked at the images, then held them away from her, scowling at the twins; Hikaru still frozen and Kaoru trying to keep a straight face.

'Please do stuff like this,' she tapped the image angrily, 'in your own time, not mine. New meeting tomorrow.'

Hikaru hung his head in complete and utter shame and embarrassment as the woman stalked out of the office, after arranging a meeting for the next day again as he vowed that he was going to rip that flaming otaku limb from limb!

-x-

'RENGE!' Hikaru yelled, bashing the door open, Kaoru, who was engrossed in yaoi, in quick pursuit.

Ryuu looked up from the tv, 'you're back early.'

Hikaru fumed a reply, 'where's Renge?'

'Upstairs with the clones.'

No more words were exchanged as Hikaru ran up the stairs at break neck speed. Ryuu turned to Kaoru, sighing, clearly exasperated. 'My TV program isn't over yet...can I stay up a bit later to watch it or do I have to go to bed?'

'Who knew Renge was such a stalker,' he said casually, not listening to his nephew, 'I mean, does she watch us get changed or something,' flipped a page of the yaoi twincest manga, 'yup, gottaa check our old bedroom for cameras...man, this is accurate...'

Ryuu took that as a no and went back to watching television.

-x-

Hikaru flew up to the twins bedroom, yelling and shouting, 'you nearly made me lose a valuable customer with your manga you flaming ota-...w-what's going on?'

Renge, Cami and Ami were covered head to toe in magic marker as were the walls. There were rainbows and clouds and fluffy things and pink things drawn all over the used to be white plaster. Renge laughed sheepishly, 'surprise?'

Hikaru blinked, glancing around in awe. A normal parent would've gone ballistic at one, the children for doing it and two, for the babysitter allowing them to do it. But instead, Hikaru smirked, leading a twin by each arm. 'Come on, go get cleaned off and go to bed...'

The two complained, hopping off to the bathroom. The older Hitachiin turned to the otaku, smiling slightly.

'I'm afraid I need you again tomorrow...'

Renge nodded, grinning.

'And Renge?'

'Yeah?'

'No manga please!'