AN/Thank you so much for your support, and I hope you keep liking the story. I am fully aware that many of the original readers are no longer following this story, but I can't stand to leave it unfinished.
"The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it."
-Moliere
Some days, JJ had decided that this entire thing was manageable.
Cancer. Chemo. Doctor's Appointments. Nausea.
It had become her life, and it almost seemed like something she could deal with.
Not that she would wish chemo on her worst enemy, but some days she almost thought she could handle it.
Today was not one of those days.
Sighing, she sat back and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she rested against the cool porcelain of the bathtub.
Other days-most days-this was just far too unfair.
Today, well today was definitely one of these days.
Running her hand through her hair, she grimaced as a chunk of the blonde strands remained in her hand.
This just wasn't fair.
"Jayje?" She could hear her front door shut, and it didn't take a genius to hear the worry in Penelope's voice. "Jayje? Where are you?"
Groaning, she didn't even bother to move from the cool promises of her bathroom. "Up here." She called her voice thick from her earlier rendezvous with the porcelain god, hoping that Garcia heard her and she wouldn't have to try again.
She wasn't sure she'd have the energy to answer louder, even if she tried.
Thankfully, Penelope must have either heard her or deduced her location because JJ soon saw the form of her friend standing in the doorway. "Everything okay?" She asked gently.
JJ simply groaned in response.
Everything was so far from okay, it wasn't funny.
She shrugged, unable to really do anything else as she collapsed against the porcelain.
Penelope chewed on her lip in an attempt to keep herself from crying. This just seemed so unfair. JJ, beautiful wonderful JJ who was kinder than any person Garcia had ever met, was wilting before her eyes.
And there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Looking down at the bathroom floor, Penelope grimaced as she saw the thick clumps of blonde hair that littered the floor.
"Come on, Jayje," She sighed as she helped her weary friend to her feet. "You need to take a nap, and then Emily and I are going to take you shopping for a scarf!"
"A scarf?" JJ asked, closing her eyes as she tried to force her stomach not to rebel against her. After a moment, she was satisfied that she wouldn't be retching in the next few seconds and added, "Why a scarf?"
"Because," Penelope forced excitment into her voice as she helped JJ step laboriously to her bed. "Pretty soon, you get the Cancer-Survivor shaved head thing, and I can't let you down by letting you wear a scarf that is not completely amazing."
JJ smiled as she settled into bed. "Whatever you say, Pen." She mumbled, "but only for maybe an hour."
Fighting the tiredness that seemed to be her constant companion, she focused on the task at hand. Looking at the vast array of materials in front of her, she forced her eyes to focus on one fabric in particular.
JJ held up the scarf in front of her, hoping that it satisfied whatever complex requirements Penelope had formulated, "What about this one?" She asked, raising her eyebrows hopefully.
"Jayje, if you're going to go all the way, you've got to rock the Cancer-Survivor look. It can't just be any scarf." Garcia scolded.
"Yeah JJ, I can't believe you'd even question her." Emily laughed sarcastically.
"Seriously." Penelope agreed, completely oblivious to Emily's mockery. "You of all people should know of my omniscience."
"Sorry." JJ smirked, placing the silky scarf back on the display before grabbing another one. "What about this one?"
Garcia leveled a look that would have scolded even the naughtiest of children. "You honestly think I'm going to let you out wearing that?" Penelope shuddered in disgust. "It's hideous!"
"It's not that bad." JJ shrugged defensively as she gazed over the fabric. "I mean, it's got orange." She offered lamely.
Penelope's face fell as she muttered, "You've got to be kidding me." She looked to Emily for support, "Tell me you have better fashion sense than blondie over here?" She asked seriously.
Emily gulped, only moderately nervous at Penelope's intense glare, "This one?"
"That's it." Garcia ground out angrily. "Both of you, out of this store. I'll find one myself. Meet me at the food court in an hour."
"An hour?" JJ groaned, already exhausted from her forced outing. "I-"
"Say nothing more." Garcia waved her excuse away, inwardly kicking herself for not being aware of JJ's rapidly diminished stamina. "Go back to JJ's and I'll bring you my masterpiece when I'm done."
"Thanks Pen." JJ sighed, grateful not to spend the rest of her already zapped energy at the mall.
"No worries Buttercup." Penelope smiled happily as she shooed the other women out of the store, "Now let me work my magic!"
"How are you handling all of this JJ?" Emily asked gently as they entered JJ's home and JJ quickly plopped down on her couch. "I mean, if you don't want to talk about it, I understand but..."
"Honestly?" JJ asked meekly, "I don't really get a chance to talk to anybody about this."
"I'm a good listener." Emily offered.
JJ sighed, hesitating to unload her true feelings on her friend, "I don't know..."
"JJ, be frank, just tell me. If you don't want to, you don't have to, but I'm here to listen."
"Honestly? I'm terrified to die." JJ let slip the fear that plagued her at night.
Emily nodded, keeping her mouth closed despite her first instinct to reassure JJ it wasn't going to happen.
JJ waited for some outburst from Emily, some vehement insistance that it wasn't possible she could go the way of the earth. When she was sure Emily wasn't going to interrupt she continued, "I mean, what if Henry has to grow up without a mother? Will he know who I am? What will Will tell him about me?" She let the last question hang in the air, uncertain that she really wanted to know the answers.
"Jayje, I don't want to step in here and tell you what to do or how to feel. It's okay to feel the way you're feeling. But the 'what-if' game doesn't do any good. 'What-if' I got hit by a car tomorrow?" Emily pointed out, "It's all relative. But, as an answer that I'm sure you'll realize is true, none of us would let Henry forget you."
JJ nodded, struck by the truth of Emily's simple answer. "I guess I had never thought of it like that."
Emily sat silently, waiting for JJ to continue. Alarmed when JJ hadn't said anything else, Emily leaned forward, "Jayje? Are you okay?" Seeing JJ's head bob as she fell innto an easy sleep, Emily shook her head softly and picked up a blanket that was draped along the couch.
Placing the warm fabric over JJ, she smirked as she settled down into her own seat and picked up a book to wait for Garcia to return, hoping that in the meantime, JJ would be able to get some well deserved rest.
"Success is to be measured not so much by the position one has reached in life...as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed."
-Booker T Washington.