AN/Thank you so much for your support, and I hope you keep liking the story. I am fully aware that many of the original readers are no longer following this story, but I can't stand to leave it unfinished. And, thank you to reviewers who prod me to continue this story. I really do listen. The hardest thing with this story is to come up with more items for 'The List' so if you think of any, let me know.
Additionally, I have an awesome new story that I'm really excited about, but I've decided to delay posting it until I've finished up all my CM stories. So, if you've been following this story religiously, that should offer you some hope :)
Ok, so I have to apologize for letting this one go for so long. Especially since I had awesome suggestions for this chapter and knew exactly where it should go. Sorry for the delay and I hope it was worth it.
"If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be."
-John Heywood
Penelope bounced on the balls of her feet as she stood in front of JJ's door, knocking once more as she forced herself not to worry. The likelihood that JJ was passed out on her kitchen floor was slim.
But she still worried.
JJ stumbled toward the door, blearily hoping that maybe the person behind the door would just be a figment of her imagination and she could just go back to sleep. Smiling at how different her life had become, she pulled the door open softly, slightly confused as she took in Penelope's impatient demenor. "Pen?" She asked confused. Normally Garcia didn't just drop by, she at least called. "Henry's with Will tonight, what's up?"
Garcia's face softened, knowing how frustrated JJ got when she forgot dates and information. The doctors called it 'Chemo Brain', but to JJ who had always been able to juggle multiple priorities with ease, it was like cutting off one of her arms. "We're all going out. Remember?" She prodded gently.
JJ bit her lip, confused as she beckoned Garcia inside. "No, I thought that was for Friday."
"Today is Friday Jayje." Penelope reminded easily, not wanting to point out yet another thing that seemed to have slipped JJ's mind.
Staring at her calendar with post-it's and detailed notes, JJ looked up in surprise. "It is Friday. Wow. Okay, um give me a minute and I'll be ready." She sighed as she rubbed her eyes with frustration. "What time are we meeting everyone?"
"Seven." Garcia smiled easily as she sat down on the couch, torn between feeling relieved that she had decided to pick JJ up half an hour early and reluctant to make JJ leave her house when she was already so tired. Thinking back to the events of the past six weeks, she sighed gaining new courage.
It had been almost a week since their last activity, and she knew that between treatments and appointments JJ hadn't left the house since then. Not only could JJ use the fresh air, she needed to know the rest of them supported her.
And it was Penelope Garcia's mission to prove that the small enjoyments of life were worth fighting for.
The stars literally peppered the dark night sky, the windows of the heavens shining down on the rag-tag group of friends.
"I still say this is a bad idea." Derek grumbled, fighting the urge to pick up his frail friend and carry her kicking and screaming back to somewhere safe.
Somewhere not completely germ infested.
He tried to force away the images of the small micro-organisms floating around in the water as he averted his eyes while the girls disrobed.
"Skinny dipping?" Emily hiss as she slipped into the warm bubbling hot spring on Rossi's property. "What are we, twelve?"
Seeing the glare Garcia levelled at her, she fell silent, regretting her statement instantly when JJ spoke up. "I was always the good kid, so skinny dipping? My dad would have had a heart attack."
"I think Mr. 'I'm a hot-shot profiler' over there is going to have his own coronary." Garcia laughed as she settled into the water. "Alright guys, we're ready for you. You too Mr. Stick-in-the-Mud Morgan."
"Did you know that a poll in 2006 suggested that only a quarter of Americans had been skinny dipping?" Reid asked, turning along with the others to the hot spring in order to give the women a little privacy. "But three-quarters of Americans thought nothing was wrong with skinny dipping in certain places."
"Alright ladies, avert your eyes." Rossi commanded with a faux seriousness. "You'd hate to catch us indisposed."
"In your case, Dave, it's nothing that the rest of the bureau hasn't seen." Emily retorted, her hand firmly over her eyes lest she give the others even the hint that she had peeked. That was the last thing she needed.
"No peeking Prentiss." Dave teased in a sing-song voice, aware that the profiler was doing everything in her power to prove her modesty.
"Shut up." Emily grumbled, well aware that she was being mocked. Feeling JJ giggle slightly beside her lessened her annoyance immensely.
The men settled into the warm water, lining the other side of the good-sized natural hot-spring. "So if only a quarter of American's have been skinny dipping, who else is doing this an experienced swimmer in the buff?" Garcia asked, smiling devilishly.
Not-so-surprisingly, Rossi and Emily's hands shot up almost instantly as they smirked at one another, followed by Reid's tentative hand. The boy genius flushed nervously as the other's gaped at him in surprise, but it was Hotch's rising hand that sent all of them into hysterics.
"Hotch?" Dave sputtered. "Seriously?"
"I don't know why you are all surprised." Hotch deadpanned. "I was a teenager once."
"Wait, Reid's done something Derek Morgan hasn't done?" JJ snorted, pointing out the even more delightful revelation.
"I grew up in Chicago." Morgan stressed. "It's cold there."
JJ yawned, wondering not for the first time how sitting managed to zap every reserve of strength she possessed. Looking around, she noticed that despite the dark night, the bright stars had provided more than enough light for the others to see her weariness and now all the others stared at her in concern. "I'm fine." She insisted, yawning once more.
Despite her colleagues's disbelief, they mercifully dropped the subject.
For nearly twenty wonderful minutes, the friends and colleagues laughed. At one point, Derek and Garcia got into a battle of wits, pushing the envelope as they always did, splashing one another when the sexual tension got slightly too heated.
For twenty minutes, everything felt normal.
"Okay everybody, swim over here and let me show you this." Dave gestured to a spot in the corner of the spring where the outlook was phenomenal. In that spot, the spring had a clear view of the valley and the lake below, making the stars double in a magestic display of natural beauty.
Some things just couldn't be described.
The hot spring was just deep enough to require all to swim the short distance to that corner, no more than ten feet from where they all sat protected by the large trees that surrounded most of the spring.
"Jayje?" Hotch was the first to notice that the person of honor at these activities had made no movement to follow the rest of them. "Everything okay?"
"I'm fine." She smiled tiredly "You guys check it out, I'm fine right here."
All of them understood the meaning underlying the words. I just can't do it, but I don't want any of you to miss out. The subtext felt so foreign, yet familiar. For JJ to look out for their interests before her own was so natural it was barely noticable anymore. But for JJ to admit defeat or weaknesses was something none of them were used to.
Not wanting to leave JJ behind, the others hid their worry. "You know, I'm starting to get sick of this cesspool of germs." Garcia splashed at Derek playfully. "I think I'm good."
"Guys, I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter." JJ rolled her eyes, touched by their loyalty but also well aware of her own limitations. "Go check out Dave's magical surprise."
Hotch shook his head, changing directions as he swam toward the former blonde. "I've seen stars before, let me sit with you."
Again, all of them understood the subtext. But this time, none of them had to bother hiding the gleeful smile as a simple sweet relationship was budding before their eyes as they swam away to give the two their privacy.
"You really didn't have to stay with me." JJ reminded him, staring up at the mass amount of stars that gleamed down at them in the moonlight.
"I know." Hotch smiled, maintaining a safe distance lest JJ feel like he was trying to pressure her. "But I wanted to."
JJ felt a blush rise to her cheeks, and bit her lip, avoiding looking at her former boss as she pointed up at the stars. "That one is Virgo." She announced.
He chuckled and his hand came up slowly to grab her wrist, moving her arm about two feet toward him to point at an entirely different place in the sky. "That," He smirked, "is Virgo."
She snorted, and they both laughed easily. "I thought I could fool you."
"I am an eagle scout." He sat up straighter, still somewhat proud of the long-ago accomplishment.
"You are a lot of things." JJ murmured, catching his eye. She was in no place in her life to give heed to the burning desire that swelled within her. But for now, it was nice to know that Hotch was there.
When he saw her yawn again, Hotch's concern grew. "Alright, I think I'm done for the night."
The others apparently caught the hint, as Derek immediately jumped out of the spring with nothing but an impish smile as he glanced back at Penelope giving her a perfect view of his dimly lit behind. Garcia cackled appreciatively and the others made their various exoduses.
Hotch, not wanting to catch a glimpse of JJ indisposed, caught Emily's eye and waited for the other profiler to join the pair.
"How were the stars?" JJ asked her approaching friend.
"Amazing." Emily replied honestly, not having it in her to lie to her friend. "We'll have to come back sometime so you can see it."
"Ladies." Hotch smiled, "If you will please avert your eyes so I can get out of the pool, I'd appreciate it."
"Ah, Hotch," JJ laughed as she covered her eyes, "Ever the gentleman."
"He even said please." Emily snorted, covering her own eyes as she had absolutely no desire to catch even the briefest glimpse of Hotch less than fully clothed.
Hotch smiled as he slipped out of the spring leaving JJ and Emily alone. "I don't think that's any way to talk to the man who left your clothes and a towel by the bank of the spring for you, do you?"
"Sorry." JJ and Emily both murmured with mock severity before bursting into a fit of giggles.
"Alright, you can look now." He called more distantly than before.
Emily quickly extracted herself, wrapping a towel around her body as she turned back to JJ who seemed completely unable to get out on her own.
"Here JJ, let me help you out." Emily offered her hand to pull JJ out of the spring. She winced as she caught sight of several scars fresh scars marring JJ's otherwise perfect body before realizing that JJ's near dead weight would make it impossible.
"Uh, Hotch?" She called, quickly rapping a towel around herself before her boss returned.
With one look at the situation, Hotch pulled off his own t-shirt and handed it to JJ. "Put that on and I'll lift you out."
JJ nodded, too tired to argue as she pulled the shirt over her head.
Emily watched Hotch's shirtless chisled body gleam in the moonlight as he pulled JJ out with relative ease, and felt her mind wander.
Emily wasn't vain, nor was she some silly woman who only found value in beauty or her own sexual appeal. But she wondered if she could handle a similar fate with the grace and hope that JJ seemed to possess. She wondered how JJ could be okay with allowing all of them even the smallest briefest glimpse at what had become her personal torment. And the question remained in Emily's mind, would she be strong enough to do that?
She didn't think so.
Suddenly, the awful scars that burned in Emily's mind no longer seemed to disfigure her friend's body. No, suddenly the images shifted, their meaning becoming far deeper.
Because those scars didn't make JJ a weak victim (despite the fact the blonde woman could barely stand from exhaustion).
Instead, she saw the scars and the small buldge under the skin above her right breast as something different. As marks of valor and bravery.
JJ wasn't afraid of her scars because they did not make her weak.
They made her strong.
"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."
-Arthur Golden