Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sailor Moon and its characters. I only own this non-stop rant.

Warning: I told you at the summary and I'm saying it again – "Totally Random Rants ahead!"

[Rant #5: The Big Book of Names is Useless]

Thud.

Rei: Um, Minako. What the hell is that?

Minako: What else? It is a book, Rei. A book that you oh-so-like to read every day.

Rei: Yes, I can also see that it is a big book.

Minako: *smiles innocently* Exactly!

(Makoto, Ami, and Usagi walks in)

Makoto: What do you guys have over here?

Usagi: "The Big Book of Names?" Why would you have a book filled with names for?

Rei: *spits out the coffee she was drinking* THE WHAT?

Minako: Well, Usagi, in the latest oneshot that Dapl wrote, Rei and I apparently have two daughters.

Usagi: WHAT?

Makoto: WHAT?

Ami: You didn't know, Mako?

Makoto: How would I know! I wasn't in it!

Minako: But Ami does.

Makoto: Duh, it is Ami. My genius girlfriend, Ami! Of course, she would know!

(Ami blushes)

Usagi: That's that! When did you guys get married? When did you guys get pregnant?

Rei: *is literally red* USAGI!

Usagi: *whines* What? Everyone is curious about the how's and when's when it comes to babies!

(Minako sits next Rei on the couch)

Minako: *laughs* Oh, let's just let those two go by as just extras for the moment.

Makoto: Huh?

Minako: *clears throat* This name book here is what I'm going to use to re-name our two daughters!

Everyone else: WHAT?

Minako: Uh-huh! Well, I'm fine with the names that Dapl gave them in the latest oneshot, but she says she doesn't like them entirely because they're not original.

Usagi: Oh, picky, picky, picky...

#Dapl: I heard that!

Usagi: Eep! *looks around* Hey, where are you?

#Dapl: You people are visualized inside my head, of course I can talk without even showing up!

Haruka: Still is creepy. Please visualize yourself for their sake of us and...

Makoto: And our freaked out moon princess.

(everyone stares at Usagi)

Usagi: I am not freaked out!

Dapl: Fine. But now that I am visualized our readers will have a delightful time on reading and wondering how in the world I would look and where I would be sitting in the middle of my head, between all of you.

Setsuna: None of which are giving such a thought at that moment, by the way.

Haruka: I thought you didn't tell the future.

Setsuna: *sips her coffee* I thought I'd make this an exception.

Haruka: Ooh, make another one. When do you think Dapl is going to write a story focused on us?

Dapl: *scoffs* Never in a million years. Oh, wait, maybe a hundred if Ami over here manages to bring up a technology that can convert you and Michiru into duplicates of Rei and Minako.

Ami: Which I plan never to do.

Michiru: What's with all the sarcastic tone, Dapl?

Dapl: Hmm. Too much homework that's been shoved to the side and too much watching of the House, M.D. series. I've already grown a liking to sarcasm. Now, I think I've very much grown addicted to it. Ooh, too much information on me. Focus back on to you. No, wait. Focus back on to Minako, Rei, and the names of their daughters.

Minako: Finally! Thank you. So, originally Dapl has named them Aiko and Risa.

Michiru: They are nice, aren't they? One means sweetheart in Japanese and the other is the name Rei's mother.

Minako: Yes, but they're both unoriginal, which is Dapl's problem. She wants those two be original, too.

Usagi: But they're so pretty names! If she wanted to go with original she could've just made up new characters than use us!

#Dapl: Not the point for writing fan-fiction, Usagi.

Usagi: Eep!

#Dapl: What now. I visualized myself.

Makoto: *sighs* Technically, yes and no because you only did your head.

#Dapl: Hmm, I only needed to talk for one sentence. So I decided I'd only bother with the only part of body I was using. Oh, maybe I should've just visualized my mouth.

Haruka: *cocks her head to Usagi* Not helping at all.

#Dapl: Hey, it's my head, my rant. You've got to allow me some humor.

Ami: Um, Dapl, don't you have some homework to do?

#Dapl: (whispers) Really, it always the genius to help everyone out of a crisis. (talks) Fine, I won't butt in till the end of this rant. I was hungry anyway. Get myself a nice midnight snack. *grumble*

(silence)

Haruka: Well, now that's over.

Minako: *sighs* Now can we please go on with the names?

Ami: Obviously, Dapl wants to be original yet would want those names to be somehow related to you two. Then that would shorten our long list of names.

Usagi: Ooh, how about if-

Ami: And by relating to those two, doesn't mean having either an R or an M as the first letter of the names.

Usagi: Oh.

Makoto: Well, we can't use something that resembles their respective planets. It's already in their surnames.

Michiru: Technically, it is their elements in their surnames. Love in Minako's, and fire in Rei's.

Hotaru: So would it be okay to name their kids Ares and Aphrodite?

(everybody laughs)

Minako: Then our kids would have the coolest names! But, I like to keep those just as Rei's and my nicknames, Hotaru.

Hotaru: *nods and smiles* Okay. Then again, it would be kind of weird to name a daughter "Ares."

Minako: *smiles back* It sure would. *turns to Rei* You've been awfully quiet, miss. These are your children, too, you know. Care to join the conversation?

Rei: *blushes* I know it's my, ah.. your, er... our! Children that we're discussing about! *blushes more*

Haruka: *sniggers* What would Rei do once they actually become real? Waddling in front of her and asking her for a hug?

Rei: *blushes* I'll be fine!

(everyone else coughs out their laughs)

Rei: *blushes more* I will! *scoffs* Besides, I thought giving the names of the actresses of Minako and me, you know from the.. *tries to suppress a blush* Pretty, Guardian, Sailor Moon.. are fine.

(crickets chirping)

Rei: Whaaaaaaaaat? I thought their names were nice! They were "Keiko" and "Ayaka." Both are pretty names. It's original for Dapl because it's most likely no one used both names for our daughters *blushes* And since they played us, a lot fans hook us in that world, too, by the way, not totally irrelevant.

Minako: *kisses Rei* I love you!

#Dapl: Give her another kiss, Minako! I love her idea!

(Minako gives Rei another full-blown kiss)

Setsuna: *fakes a cough* We do have a kid in this room.

Hotaru: *removes Setsuna's hands from covering her eyes* I'm a lot older now, Sesuna-mama!

#Dapl: Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyways! I loved Rei's idea! Next time your daughters ever show up, it will always be "Keiko" and "Ayaka!" Ooh, maybe they'll even join the next rant.

Rei: What?

(everyone else bursts out laughing)

Haruka: *walks out with her family* Minako, get Rei chilled out! We're going to the movies so you two can have all the privacy you want.

Ami: *giggles and walks out with Makoto* We made dinner reservations so we need to get going, too.

Makoto: Minako make sure Rei doesn't pass out or anything. We need to tease her when your daughters join us later! *laughs*

Minako: Will do! So, Usagi..

Usagi: Yeah?

(Minako clears throat and smiles)

Usagi: Uh... oh! Oh! Yeah, I have plans with Mamoru so I'll be gone right now! *zooms out of the room*

Minako: Phew, well that's that. *turns to Rei* We're going to have fun, aren't we?

Rei: *laughs nervously* Yeah, but, starting from the next rant?

Minako: *laughs* Well, then we should hurry!

Rei: For what?

Minako: Once they come, we have to lower our PDAs for children's age, right?

Rei: *arches an eyebrow* Riiight, and?

Minako: *smiles mischievously* We should make most of our time when it's still just the two of us.

(Minako leans in for a passionate kiss to prove her point.)