I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile frame aged
With misery
And when our eyes meet
I know you see
I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside
I do not want to be afraidI do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut
Cut-Plumb
June 24: Another Day Less of Pure Hell
A Cut Deeper Than Deep
I wondered what I would look like If I died My hair, blonde! Maria, would totally have a heart attack Well, that wouldn't be such a problem would It!
I wish that everything would go back to how It was 11 years ago, Dad was alive, Mom wasn't a bitch and I would….
I don't know! I just wished..
I sat on the bench at the Pier and sat listening to the waves crash unto one another and I sighed. I should probably get home before Lucille notices, I snuck out and I'm not there. Pillows and Jackets wont work, probably!
No! I just wished I could sit here, and stay forever! Just listening to the waves and watching families play in the sand! I wish I could have that!
I watched as the Dad wiped the side of his daughter mouth as she smeared the Chocolate Ice Cream cone on the side of her face. I start to feel my eyes water as he threw the napkin away and kissed her forehead and took her hand then walked along the shore. I couldn't help to be jealous because I wanted that.
No, I didn't…It has to be about Me, Myself and I! Nobody Else.
I better get home before Lucy notices I snuck out! I hurried back home! When I turned the block and walked up to the house! I slowly turned the knob and walked It the house closing the door, quietly before I heard someone clear their throats! I turned around to see Uncle Jack, Lucille both standing there with stern looks on their faces and Troy leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face! What's he smirking about?
"Gabriella Marie Elizabeth Montez? Where the Hell have you been?" Lucille shouted
"Oh, Mom! You swore" Troy teased and Lucille shot him a threatening glare and he threw his hands up in defense before looking back at me
"I was at the pier" I answered simply and I grabbed an apple from the basket and headed to the stairs when Lucille spoke
"Get Back Here, Young Lady" I turned around and walked back down the stairs
"What"
"Don't what me, you had us worried sick"
"Okay, well don't you remember my rules, Lucy! I do whatever I want, when I want and I come home whenever I want"
"Gabriella" Jack warned
"Okay, Okay. I just needed to clear my head. I always sneak out of the house, to take a walk. I calms me down. Look, I'm sorry"
Lucille sighed and said. "Okay, next time! Will you please tell us, when you are exiting the house! Maria has told that you have ran away from home, a few times"
"Yes Mam" I said sarcastically and I headed towards the stairs when Lucille spoke again
"Oh And Your Mother Called"
"Well Did You Tell her, I'm still alive?"
"Why wont you tell, there's a phone right over there"
I rolled my eyes as I held the phone to my ear and sighed
"Its Me, what do you want?"
"Well I see you survived the bus trip after all"
"I rather been buried underground, up to my neck on a railroad track"
"Lucy said you told her about your little "To Die List". You shouldn't scare her like that"
"Why are you doing this to me"
"You know why! We discussed this, I am trying to save my marriage"
"You would have better luck, trying to save the Polar Ice Caps, Mom"
"Why Is That, Your Marriage only works, when I'm not there"
"Oh, Gabriella! I know this is tough but try to make the best of It. How about that sweetie?"
"Take as much time as you need, okay Maria! Sort things out, shuffle them together. Do the hell whatever you need to try and save this marriage! Okay, I'm here and I'm fine! Don't even worry about me! IM FINE!"
I slammed the phone as hard I could and I twirled the phone cord angrily as I could, as I felt a deep sob escape from my throat. As, I look up I came face to face with Lucy! She took my hand and caressed and said.
"Gabriella, your mother loves you"
"Then Why Am I here" I yanked my hand away from her and brushed past here.
If Dad were alive, he would teach me how to drive. If Dad were alive, he would teach me how play the guitar and we would Do stuff like paint. Maybe, I would be friends with kid down the street. If Dad were Alive, If only Dad were Alive
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom who will let me, whatever.
I want a mom to take my hand,
and make me feel like a holiday.
A mom to tuck me in at night,
and chase the monsters away.
I want a mom to read me stories,
and sing a lullaby.
And if I have a bad dream,
To hold me when I cry.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom that will let me, whatever, forever.
And when she says to me, she will always be there,
To watch and protect me, I don't have to be scared.
Oh, and when she says to me, I will always love you,
I won't need to worry, cause I'll know that it's true.
I want a mom when I get lonely,
and take the time to play.
A mom who can be a friend,
and find a rainbow when it's gray.
I want a mom to read me stories,
and sing a lullaby.
And if I have a bad dream,
To hold me when I cry.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom that will let me, whatever, forever.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom to make it all better.
I want a mom that will last forever.
I want a mom that will let me, whatever, forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.
I want a mom, I want a mom to last forever.
God, I just wished I could! Uggh! Its going to be a long summer!
Author's Note- I'm sorry that It kinda was bad! I had a better chapter but I accidentally deleted It! Sorry, Please Review! Next One with be better and More Troyella