"My mission is to observe Haruhi Suzumiya and report the information back to the Data Integration Thought Entity," Yuki explained. "I have been performing this task daily since my creation three years ago. It has been peaceful and there have been no uncertain factors. However, irregularities have formed near Haruhi Suzumiya which cannot be ignored. That would be: you.
"To the Data Integration Thought Entity, the third planet in this solar system, this planet, held no special value. However, the current inhabitants of Earth, as your kind calls it, developed a cognitive ability that could be considered intelligence. Thus, humans became much more significant. There is a possibility that humans have the answer to the evolutionary standstill that the Entity has come to.
"Throughout the universe, it is common for organic life forms to develop consciousness. Human beings were the only organic beings whose consciousness evolved into intellect. The Entity carefully, yet thoroughly continued its observations.
"Three years ago, it noticed an unusual flare of data on the surface of the planet. This explosion started from one shape of a bow-shaped archipelago and quickly spread across the entirety of the planet and into space. In the center of all of this was Haruhi Suumiya.
"Over the past three years, multiple investigations have been launched around Haruhi Suzumiya. However, she remains an enigma. One branch of the investigation remains because the Entity thoroughly believes that Haruhi Suzumiya will be the key to human auto evolution as well as its own.
"The Entity has no way of contacting organic beings due to its lack of spoken or written language as well as humans' lack of communication without language. That is why I am here. The Data Integration Thought Entity is able to contact humans through me."
Nagato then took a drink from her own tea as I wondered at what she had said.
Nagato then continued her monologue, "We believe Haruhi Suzumiya is the key to auto-evolution. She can manipulate the universe around her. That is why you and I are here."
"I think I understand," I said slowly. "Although I might argue with what you said about biological intelligence. Before that, however, I'd like to ask a few more on-topic questions. First of all, why tell me who you are? I can easily tell anybody I want exactly what you've told me now."
"Haruhi Suzumiya chose you," she replied without blinking. "Whether she knows it or not, Haruhi Suzumiya has the ability to transform her thoughts and emotions into absolute data. There is a reason Haruhi Suzumiya chose you rather than someone else."
"Where are the hidden cameras?" I asked sarcastically as I dramatically swung my head around.
"There are none. You and Haruhi Suzumiya have the possibilities in your hads," she said in reply.
"So why not tell Haruhi?" I asked eagerly. I now knew that she was completely serious about this.
Nagato replied immediately, "The Entity is under the impression that if Haruhi Suzumiya were aware of her abilities, it would cause a catastrophic event that could destroy our universe. We must continue our observations without her knowledge."
"What If I was to tell her myself?" I said with a little more skepticism than intended.
"Because you do not carry the air of one who takes themselves seriously, Haruhi Suzumiya refuses to take the data you feed her seriously," she has a good point, there.
"You should know that there are other factions of the Entity's observers. One is intent on using more proactive methods to trigger a data release from Haruhi Suzumiya. You are the key to Haruhi; if there is danger, you will be the first target."
I should get going before she tells me something I really don't want to hear. I'm still curious if she knows what I really am...
The moment I entered the classroom the next day, I was glomped by an excited Haruhi.
"The mysterious transfer student is finally here!" She shouted excitedly. "It's gotta be him!"
Though I doubted he was really all that "mysterious," I decided to do as the Romans do. "Really? That's great! I can't wait to meet him." I've learned a lot about lying through my teeth from American politics.
The end of school had snuck up on me a little too quickly. Could this be Haruhi's alleged powers acting up?
I strode towards the clubroom, ready to meet our new inmate, only to find that Haruhi and the new guy had yet to arrive. I decided to quietly play a game of Othello with Mikuru while we waited.
"Alright everybody!" Haruhi shouted as she burst through the door. "I'd like to introduce you to our newest brigade member, and his name is:"
"Istuki Koizumi," the new guy said. He was sporting an odd smile that looked remarkably like the smiles I used to draw on my characters before I learned anatomy.
"There are the other brigade members. You have the distinguished honor of being the fourth member!" Haruhi exclaimed as if it was some sort of special award. Sometimes, even I am amazed by her amazing eccentricity. It occurred to me that she had done this entire introduction in English. All of a sudden I felt my head grow about four feet in each direction... metaphorically...
"I'm glad to join," Itsuki said with a slight accent, "but I wonder what this club is."
"Okay," Haruhi responded, "Let me tell you exactly what this brigade is about. The SOS Brigade's mission is to find aliens, time travelers, and ESPers and hang out with them."
All of a sudden I had the urge to face-palm.
She then repeated the introduction in Japanese and Italian. Italian? Where did this kid transfer from?
"Oh I get it," Itsuki said, keeping his smile. "As expected from miss Suzumiya." This statement made me wonder a bit about his real reason for being so nonchalant about all this. He then extended his hand towards me, making me cringe internally. "I'm Itsuki Koizumi," he said in Italian. Yes, I understand some Italian. This is probably due to the two years of Latin classes I'd taken thus far. He then said something along the lines of "I'm new here, please show me the ropes."
Haruhi then introduced the three of us to Itsuki in what sounded like fluent Italian. How many languages is this girl fluent in?
"It's time for the SOS Brigade to be unveiled!" Haruhi excitedly shouted. I constantly find myself wondering about her mental health. It would seem as though she can't linger on a single subject for more than a moment.
The following day, after school, I accidentally wandered in right as Haruhi was forcing Mikuru to undress. Luckily, I escaped without more than a mental scar. How many do I have now? Six, maybe seven thousand?
"In moe, the maid costume is essential," Haruhi explained while petting Mikuru's hair. Mikuru had been shoved into a maid costume. Haruhi then chucked a camera at my head. Six years of battle ball had really helped my reflexes, so I was able to catch it before my face got any uglier.
I found myself reluctantly willing, no matter how little sense that makes, to take pictures of Mikuru in her new outfit.
"Let's make things a little sexier!" Haruhi said after a while. She then proceeded to unbutton the top three buttons on Mikuru's outfit. Now I was a little more eager to take the pictures.
This went on for a while before Itsuki slowly entered the room.
He begged our pardons and told us to continue as we were as he sat down at his seat with that plastic smile stretched across his face.
"No matter how much this job pays, I'm afraid I'll have to quit soon," I said in my usual overconfident voice. "There could easily be serious repercussions, anyway."
"Oh, fine," Haruhi scowled as she got up. And I thought Nagato said she didn't take me seriously? "Anyway, it's time for our first meeting to begin.
"We've done a lot to come this far, and now the SOS Brigade's fame has skyrocketed! Unfortunately, we haven't gotten a single email about strange phenomenon. Good things may come to those who wait, but they come faster to those who are looking. So let's go out and look!"
"I bet five dollars that I'll find an alien before you do," I said, smiling. I then got a face-full of Haruhi's paperweight. Note to self: don't smile arrogantly with your eyes closed.
We were to meet on Saturday in front of the train station. If anyone arrived late, it would be the death penalty. Lucky for me, I was always taught to leave fifteen minutes before I think I should. Because of this, I found myself at the station almost thirty minutes before Haruhi and the rest of the brigade.
I still had to pay for brunch, though.
Haruhi split us up into two groups to search the city. I managed to get paired up with the one who would be my last choice: Mikuru Asahina. This may not end well.
"This isn't one of your illusionary dreams of reality, Isaac!" Haruhi shouted after we had finished brunch... which I had to pay for. "If you mess around I'll kill you!"
"Darn, and I always expected to be eaten by God Zillah if I had to die in Japan," I joked as she left earshot. Believe it or not, this was one of my better jokes.
Mikuru and I tried to avoid eye contact. I was using the mental excuse of searching for anomalies, although I was sure she was just avoiding my ugly face. That's how it always seems to work out around pretty girls.
"Isaac," Mikuru suddenly spoke up. I reluctantly turned so that she was in my peripheral vision. "There's... something I need to talk to you about."
After a few stuttering failures, probably brought on by my unintentionally intimidating air, she was finally able to get her point across.
"You might not believe a word I'm about to say," she began in fluent English, "but the truth is that I'm not actually from this time plane. I come from the future. I can't tell you from when or where though.
"Think about time like animation, with individual frames making a picture look like it's moving. I'm just an extra picture pasted onto each frame. I'm able to move in three dimensions through the time planes, but that still doesn't quite explain it...
"The point is, I'm here because a timequake happened three years ago. That's three years ago from the time you know as now. It wasn't until recently that we figured out the thing that caused this quake. I mean recently in the time plane that I'm from."
"Judging by the fact that you're telling all this to me, I guess it's safe to assume that Haruhi is the cause of all this," I stated flatly, without taking my eyes off of hers.
"Oh, then Nagato and Koizumi have already told you, then?" She asked as an answer to my question.
"Oh no, Koizumi is involved, too? Who's next, Taniguchi?" I grumbled in exasperation.
"I'm sorry!" Mikuru squealed in terror. "I wasn't supposed to say that... Back to the matter at hand, we have confirmed that Haruhi is at the center of the time distortion. I can't tell you any more because it's classified information, but I can tell you that it was Haruhi Suzumiya who closed our access to the past. I'll understand if you-"
"I completely understand and believe everything you told me," I said in my most serious tone of voice, "but I need to know. Why tell me? I think I know what the answer is, but I need confirmation."
"Because you're the one that miss Suzumiya has chosen," Mikuru stated. "I can't explain more because it's classified information."
"I assume you could tell me what Nagato and Koizumi really are," I might be stepping on thin ice here.
"That's classified," she replied.
"If you're from the future, couldn't you tell me what would happen before it happened? I know it would open up a paradoxical loop, but couldn't you at least hint at what I'm supposed to be doing?" Where's the fun without adrenaline?
"That's classified," Mikuru replied, killing my rush.
"Why not tell Haruhi?" I said. As she opened her mouth, I cut her off, "that's classified, too."
"You don't have to believe me, I just wanted you to know about it," she responded in a rush. Didn't I just hear the same thing a few days ago? "I'm sorry to dump all this on you like I did."
"It wouldn't be the first time this has happened," I said calmly.
Somehow my opinion on my situation had changed drastically over the past few days. When I first moved to Japan, I would've given anything to go back, but now I find myself with the feeling of never wanting to leave. I don't even mind the extra days of school anymore.
"Let's just put aside whether I believe you or not and get back to it later," I suggested.
"Sure!" she enthusiastically replied with a smile.
"Before we do, however, I've got one more question," I continued. "How and when did you learn such good English?"
"That's classified," She replied, more slyly than before. She pulled this adorable look on her face at which I internally face palmed. Why am I cursed with this male mindset?
Haruhi had told us to meet back up at noon, so Mikuru and I started heading back around eleven thirty. When we got back to the station, Haruhi was waiting for us. The look on her face told me I was in for an interrogation.
"Did you find anything?" Haruhi said with a slight frown.
"Yes, I actually spotted quite a few odd anomalies in the park," I said while looking out of the corner of my eye at Mikuru. She was afraid I was about to tell Heruhi what she just told me. "There were so many time travelers and aliens that I didn't know what to do other than just keep walking."
"You're joking," Haruhi said, jaw wide open.
"In case you haven't noticed, everything you see is a time traveler due to the remarkable ability to move forward in time at a constant rate. Furthermore, since I am from America, everything here is alien to me," I felt like such a smartass.
Lucky for me, I remembered to keep my eyes open while smiling all through lunch. Had I made the same mistake as a few days ago, I would've been covered in carbonated soda... yuck...
After lunch, which I paid for again, we were split up into groups again. I was paired up with Yuki, while Haruhi unhappily walked off with Itsuki and Mikuru.
Since Yuki was such a dedicated reader, I decided it would be best to "search" the library, but before I could reach out to open the door, she grabbed my collar and dragged me behind a tree. How out of character.
"Stop it," she said monotonously. "I know who you really are."
"Elaborate," I said, worried for my safety.
"You're fooling yourself," she explained. "It will not end well." She then released my shirt and walked into the library.
Ignoring what had just happened, I followed Yuki into the library and looked for something good to read. I eventually found a book entitled Anatomy Made Simple, which I thought would greatly help with my artistic talent.
On my way to one of the seats in the reading area, I ran into Yuki.
"If you read books so often, you should probably get a library card. Then, you can just check out books whenever you feel like it," I suggested. She responded with a nod almost too small to see.
A couple hours later, I woke up to find Yuki standing right in front of me with a huge stack of books in her hands.
"We should leave," she said and abruptly turned to leave with the books I assumed she had already checked out.
Looking at the clock, I realized that it was almost five minutes past the time I had wanted to leave, so I quickly sprinted after Yuki, hoping that we wouldn't be late. I like my head on my shoulders, than you.
Even though we arrived early without any of my smart remarks, I still ended up having to buy dinner. I feel like I've been infested by the dreaded Haruhi Parasite. If only this virus were as simple as the zerg...
As we disbanded, Mikuru came up to me and whispered, "I wanted to thank you for listening today." She then sprinted away.
"Okay, what were you really doing today," Haruhi grumbled from behind me.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" I said. Then I paused before saying, "Why? Are you jealous of Yuki and Mikuru? I think you're upset because you didn't get to spend time with the second smartest member of the brigade."
"I should punch you for tha—Did you say second smartest?" She then got this horrifying grin on her face that I can only explain as "=D." "Then who's the smartest one in the SOS Brigade?"
"Uhhhhh..." I stuttered, suddenly feeling a lot like Rallen, trying to make up dumb excuses that Jeena wouldn't buy for a minute. "Y-Yuki, duh. Sh-she's the one who reads all those books all the time."
"Riiiiiiight," Haruhi said without dropping that smile.
The humidity on Monday was overwhelming. I stil don't understand how temperature changes so quickly on this planet. Luckily, I had a 2-inch binder with which I could easily fan myself off.
"Send me some of that air," Haruhi said as she plopped into her seat.
I picked up my half-inch mini-binder (two rings instead of three) and dropped it onto her desk. "Humans are intelligent enough to fan themselves." At this, Haruhi simply growled and spent the rest of our classes showering me with unhappiness.
I found myself, once again, sprinting to the clubroom after school. I had an odd hunch I wanted to clarify.
"Itsuki, isn't there something you need to tell me? Perhaps something about Haruhi?" I asked with my voice dripping with conviction. I really like that phrase: voice dripping with. It implies so much that isn't really there. Just like Itsuki's smile implies a calmness that doesn't exist.
"I'm guessing the other two already talked to you, "Itsuki said as we sat down at an outdoor table with our coffee. "How much do you know?"
"Haruhi is definitely abnormal," I began. "I don't mean abnormal like my kind of abnormal; I mean abnormal like David Coperfield abnormal times about a million. I also know that the fourth dimension has been ripped at the seams by Haruhi's abnormality, as has the fabric by which evolution is guided."
"You seem to know a lot,actually," Itsuki said with a hint of surprise in his voice. "I'll just tell you my side of the story, then. I'm an ESPer. I assume you already guessed that. I never expected miss Suzumiya to get us all together so easily.
"I'll be able to explain this better later. A picture's worth a thousand words, and I definitely have something to show you. I'll just give you the short version for now.
"The organization I work for has other ESPers besides yours truly. The school's already been infiltrated by a bunch of us. Ever since three years ago. That's when something very interesting happened, and that is also when the powers I have now awakened."
"How does this involve Haruhi?" I asked, not seeing the connection.
"The elders in the organization believe that this world is something like a dream that a certain entity conjured up. Because it's a dream, it would be very easy for that entity to alter our reality. It could easily destroy the world and create a new one. We think we've found that entity here," Itsuki explained without once dropping his creepy smile.
"Now Haruhi is God. How wonderful," I grumbled loudly.
"I guess so, yes," he replied. "Look at it this way. You've got being such as Asahina, Nagato, and myself all in the same place. Do you think it could be all coincidence? It's all happening because miss Suzumiya wished it three years ago."
"So Haruhi created the universe as we know it three years ago, and all memory before that point in time is illusion? You're starting to sound like a mid-cave prophet," I inquired.
"That's the theory we ESPers have," Itsuki confirmed. "If this world upsets its God, it could be destroyed and created in the blink of an eye. We want to prevent that. Besides, this universe is pretty nice as-is, warts and all."
"I'm guessing you can't tell Haruhi because that could trigger an early 2012," I stated flatly.
"Though I dislike your terminology, that is the basic concept. The organization would prefer it if she never learned about her powers and lived happily ever after. We'll just let sleeping Gods lie," he responded briskly.
"Good way of putting it," I said as my mental gears began to go into overdrive. I feel like I'm talking to Carl Sagan... "Isn't it possible that you ESPers are dreaming this world up?"
"It's always a possibility," Itsuki said boredly, "but right now we're just acting on the worst of worst-case scenarios we can come up with."
"Imagine, if you will, a world in which I don't believe you," I suggested. "If I were to, in this other world, ask you to demonstrate your powers by heating up this cup of coffee which I stupidly allowed to cool, would you be able to?"
"Although that would definitely come in handy, I'm sorry to say that my powers don't work unless certain conditions are present," He explained.
"So if the world were about to end, you could heat up this coffee for me?" I said hopefully.
"If the world were about to end, that particular cup of coffee would cease to exist long before my powers were able to come into play," he admitted with an even broader smile. "However, I think I'll have the opportunity to show you my abilities in the near future.
"I'm sorry for talking for so long. Now excuse me, I think that's enough for today. See you tomorrow." He then turned to leave and almost immediately turned back. "By the way, the biggest mystery is definitely you.
"I know it's kind of rude, but I did some checking up on you. I hope you don't mind. I came up with a few disturbing files which indicate that either you are a completely ordinary American, a very strange human, or something I'd prefer not to say aloud."
As He turned and left I considered inquiring about his sudden change in languages, but I decided just to leave it. Besides, Italian is a language I can handle.
I opened the clubroom door the next day to the sight of Mikuru changing. Does she know how to lock doors?
"I'm sorry!" I shouted as I slammed the door behind me. Now I feel very American.
When I cautiously opened the door five minutes later, I was handed a cup of tea by Mikuru in her maid outfit. Does she really have to do everything Haruhi tells her to? I mean, even I put up a slight resistance.
There was an odd stiffness to her movements. I guess I had embarrassed her a little, not that I was surprised by that fact.
Two hours later, I realized a surprising lack of Haruhi. Do I really want to know why?
I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to get out, but I've been trying to catch up on Fullmetal Alchemist. Due to my failureness... if that's a word... I only discovered FMA this past weekend, so I'm trying to watch as much as possible.
I'm sorry I made Itsuki an Italian, but there's a method to my madness... I think...
I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya! I hope for no Lawsuits because of this FanFic.