Some things we don't talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while
You can never say never
While we don't know when
But time and time again
Younger now than we were before
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Picture, you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
To steady your hand
You can never say never
While we don't know when
Time, time, time again
Younger now than we were before
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
We're pulling apart and coming together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Never Say Never- The Fray
Thump Thump Thump
The Small Olive Skin Girl with the long brown braided ponytails and dark brown orbs, swung back and forth on the swing that was connected with the grains of sand that surrounded. As, she swung back and forth, grains and grains of sand was swooshed into the air by the sweeping of her feet against the sand and placed into a different place. The end of her blue and red stripped dress blew calmly with the wind and direction the force was pushing It to. She sat there quietly, lips shut together and just stared at her house. Suddenly, when she heard a loud noise. She stopped swinging and hopped off the swing and walked towards the back door.
Thump Thump Thump
Her small fingers brushed the handle of the door and unlatched the lock. She walked into her house, when she heard another sound.
"Daddy?"
She walked into the room, when she another noise. She snapped her head around and saw nothing. She followed the sound and walked towards the stairs which lead to the upstairs basement. She placed her small leather black shoe on the wooden stairs and a small slight creak was made. The Brown Orbed Eyed Girl walked slowly up the stairs when she heard the sound again.
Thump Thump Thump
"Daddy" She called again
Finally, she made her way the stairs, and stood there. She walked towards the door that was slightly opened and poked her eye through the peephole. Twisting, the knob she slowly opened the door. Finally, she looked up to see nothing but as soon she turned her head. There she was with her father sitting down in the chair with the pistol straight in his mouth with his hand two seconds away from pulling the trigger. Her eyes widened and she yelled
"Daddy"
Catching him a surprise. He turned and looked at her with the matching brown orbs and before he could look at her again, the gun had went off. Pow! Her Father Was Dead
Shocked and confused the little girl, touched her cheek and felt a warm liquid. When she looked at her hands she realized she was covered in blood. She looked and her father again, and tears swelled up in her ears before she could scream out:
"Daddy" She shook and hit him hoping he would wake up. So the little girl, sat there with her father corpse, crying and sobbing hoping he would wake up from this game but he didn't.
XOXOXO
As Troy rubbed circles on my back as I regained my breath and drunk the water. I sighed as I remembered I had just had a relived a memory that haunted me for the last 10 years of my life. It was the day my father, David Alejandro Montez, killed himself, December 13, a day before my 7th birthday. I still remember what It felt like too be covered in my father's blood and witness his unexpected suicide. I couldn't just understand why my had father killed himself. Maybe It just because he felt like there was no other way, to end his life. He was tired of It. Which made me become the person I am today.
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital" Troy asked concern
"Yes Troy, I'm positive. Its normal. I had panic attacks before"
"Gabriella, you know that is not normal" He said rubbing my back more and sighed
"For Me, It is. I been having them since I was 7 years old"
"Gabriella" He started but I cut him off
"No, I fine! It was just a panic attack. It because I haven't been taking the anxiety pills that Maria's doctor prescribed to me"
"I don't need them, they're make me feel all fake and weird. They help me with the panic attacks but I rather feel all crappy and depressed then to take those"
"Gabriella"
"No, Troy and that Is It. You don't even know me, I just want to be left the hell alone" I jumped off his bed and then walked out the door. I passed by Lucille and Jack, who exchanged confused looks, which I ignored.
I walked into my room and slammed the door behind me before sinking the ground and hugged my knees. I just wanted It all to be over. If only Dad was here! No! No more that If Dad was here shit! He didn't want to be here with me. He didn't care about me.!
Why Me?
Girl, understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's coming from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change ya
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cause the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
You know that it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feeling ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feelI know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't coming back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Oh oh oh oh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my boo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-eleven days, um-teen hours
I'mma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cause the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gonna learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's overyou know that it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (oh)
I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oh
Ooh ooh oh (Can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oh ooh oh
So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cause the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
You know that it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
I sat up in my bed as I wiped the dripping tears from my eyes and I ran my hair through my hair. I hugged my knees even closer and held my bear Oso, De felpa o peluche. It meant Bear, My Teddy Bear in Spanish, It something my father had given me when I was three. I missed my father, a lot! And I guess that the only way to be reunited with him again was end this life. End It All. Therefore there was nothing to live for. No one to live or nothing to live for.
I snapped out my thoughts when there was a knock on my door. I wiped the rest of face and jumped off the bed to walk over to the door and opening It and revealing Lucy and Jack.
"Gabriella, we know that your upset right now. But we were wondering if you like to come somewhere with us. We would like to show you something"
"What?"
"Just get dress dear and come with us"
I sighed before nodded and said:
"Okay"
I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
And all you know
And how you speak
Countless lovers undercover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night
While you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me
Somebody
Someone like you
Somebody
Someone like you
Somebody
Someone like you
Somebody
I've been roaming around
Always looking down at all I see
I stuck my head out at of the window as we drove into the rocky pavement place and I frowned. What are we doing at a cemetery? God! Don't they know, this is not the best place for me right now!
"Okay, were here" Lucy said as she stopped the car
They all got out of the car, as I saw Troy get out of the car after the whole car ride staring at me. They all walked towards one place, and stood there.
"There It she is" Lucy said and I frowned. Who was she? Who Is It?
"Where? Who Is She?" I asked and Lucy pointed towards the stone like plate that was on the ground surrounded by Lilies and tulips.
"Our Daughter and Troy's older sister" Jack said
"See, Gabriella we wanted to show you that we understand, that how It feels to lose someone. Gabriella, before Troy was born, we were told that we weren't gonna be able to have children but one day we were blessed with the gift of pregnancy. Nine whole months of planning and excitement. When Lily, our daughter was born, we thought everything was alright unto the doctor's noticed that she born with her organs outside of her. She had omphalocele and shortly after birth, she had soon went to be along with the lord. Jack and I were devastated. For months and months, I wouldn't want to leave home, I hardly eat, I thought killing myself all the time and all other things. But I soon realized that It was Lily's time to go and that we would be blessed again and we were when I found I was pregnant with Troy"
"We know that you are hurting and we know how much you loved your father. We know"
"I'm sorry" I started walking away but then Lucille said:
"Wait, Gabriella we think there might be something else you want to see"
I turned back and looked at the headstone that read: Rest In Peace: Lily Emily Bolton. A child that we will never forget. D.1985
I followed them to wear they were going when I realized they had stopped and were all standing in front of a headstone. I stopped when I reached down and realized what It had said. I got down on my knees and sat in front of It. I brushed the dirt of It and froze when I read the inscriptions. I lifted up my thumb and traced the carving that had read: David Alejandro Montez. A beloved father.
I felt my heart swell up and tears swelling. If Dad was Here!
"We were hoping that you could speak to your dad, let him know how you feel"
"I cant do this, I just want to go home" I brushed past Troy before I felt him grabbing my arm
"Don't do this"
"Let me go" I growled
"Gabriella"
"Let Go Me Of Me"
I snatched my arm away from me and him and kept running somewhere. I needed to get away, I kept running ignoring the calling of name from them. I needed to get away.
XOXOXO
I ran to a unfamiliar place and I stood there when I realized I had done It again. I had run away again. I just needed to get away somewhere, where I felt I belonged but I needed to get back, I couldn't put Lucy and Jack through that kind of stress. I had to go back!
XOXOXO
I stood outside the door, afraid to knock. Finally, I knocked and It quickly opened revealing Lucy.
"Gabriella" She said she pulling me into a hug and I felt a sob escape from my throat
"Do you have a picture of my father"
"You don't remember what your father looks like"
"No" I cried and she pulled me closer
"Oh Honey. Its gonna be alright"
If Dad was here. If Only, he was here.