Blaine felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. Can't breathe. Can't breathe. Can't breathe….

"Blaine, I just…"

"Oh my God…Kurt are you KIDDING me?" Blaine almost screamed it, warm tears running down his face. He was shaking as if he had a fever, but all he felt was cold inside.

"How could you even say something like that to me…after we….after this?. They both still lay among the twisted sheets where, less than 5 minutes before, they shared their first intimate moments together.

Kurt was shocked looking at Blaine, who had now pulled his legs up and had his head on his arms and was sobbing. He had never seen Blaine react like this before, and it was scaring Kurt. Blaine is the strong one. He is the emotional one. Kurt reached over to touch him, and Blaine's tears came harder now.

"Blaine, I love you. Please…"

He turned to look at Kurt, his hazel eyes full of confusion. "You did this…so that you would be sure I wouldn't leave you for someone else? You used what I thought was the most amazing moment of my life as…what? A bartering point for the future? Are you insane? Please, Kurt, please…tell me why? Is this something that you read in a "How To Keep Your Man" article?

Kurt's eyes welled with tears as he tried to take Blaine's hand, and was rebuffed. A sour feeling settled in his stomach. What had he done?

"Blaine, I was scared."

"I knew you weren't ready. That we weren't ready. For this. Ugh, I am so stupid" Blaine said as he slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand, clearly a mistake, since his head was already spinning, trying to take in what was happening between them.

"No, Blaine. I wanted this. I want you. Only you. But you…"

"But I what, Kurt? What did I do? I brought you here. You. No one else. You know there is no one else that I am thinking about or wanting to be with. You know there is no one else I want to touch like I touched you…or want to touch me…like that.."

"It's not just that. Less than two months ago, you were kissing a girl…a girl, Blaine. And if only for a moment, liking in. I not only have to compete with other guys, but girls too."

"You are not competing with anyone Kurt. I love you. I'm with you. Don't you have any faith in me? In us? You have to let what happened in the past go."

Kurt lowered his head so that he did not have to look at Blaine. "I wanted to give you something…that no one else had. I wanted to touch you before anyone else did. I'm sorry you can't understand this, Blaine, but do you know how hard it has been to watch you do some of the things that you've done, dying inside every time because I wanted you, and you wanted someone else. And feeling that you settled for me ?"

Blaine shook his head in disbelief. Had they not already had this conversation earlier in the night? "Kurt", he said softly, trying to reign in his frustration…I've already told you…I did not settle for you. I love you. And I'm sorry that I took so long to realize that, but I did, and we're here, and now all I can think about is that you…we…did things for the wrong reasons. I thought I was making love with my boyfriend. You were trying to close some kind of deal in your head. I don't' know what to do with this all, Kurt, I really don't"

He looked at the face of the person that means everything to him, and he felt heaviness in his heart. This was his fault, really. By the time he had realized that Kurt was "the one", he had left some pretty bad wreckage along the way, including Kurt's self esteem. He knew that the way he was behaving tonight was so out of character for Kurt. His normally shy and blushing boyfriend becomes the aggressor, and that didn't set off some kind of alarm? He got a glimpse of his Kurt when he tried to cover himself up. And Blaine told him not to. Was that the point where they should have stopped?

Blaine's brain was racing a mile a minute, and Kurt just sat looking at him, wondering what to do next.

"You hate me now, don't you? And now you can be free to find someone more like…you."

"KURT! Stop it. What do you think, that I'm 5 years old, and when I get mad I take my toys and run home? This isn't a game."

"You don't think I know that? You don't think that right after the words came out of my mouth, I knew it was a huge mistake? But let me tell you how I feel, ok?"

"From the moment I met you, I've wanted to be with you. It was fate that brought you and I together on that staircase, and when we became friends, it was everything to me. But my feelings for you wanted more than that. I knew it from the beginning. I would watch women, and men, flirt with you, and you would flirt back, and it just killed me inside. I would look in the mirror every morning and think, hey, if I were better looking, or smarter, or…whatever, maybe he would look at ME that way. I felt like I wasn't good enough for you. And then, with this whole Rachel business…she knew how I felt about you, and still she pursued you. And you let her. How do you think it feels knowing that a supposed friend would do that to me?"

Kurt paused to take a breath, Blaine's eyes fixed on him.

"When you kissed me that day, right before Regionals, I thought that I was the luckiest person alive, because the guy that I love and have been pining over for months just might feel the same way. I wanted to make sure that I could give you something that no one else had. Or was that a lie?"

Blaine didn't know how many more emotional blows he could take from Kurt.

"Kurt, I will say this one more time. There has been no one else. And to be completely honest, and I'm sorry if this hurts you, it is not from lack of trying. I never said I was an angel. But I also made it very clear to you that no one has made me want him as much as I want you. I love everything about you. Tonight, in this bed, we shared something so amazing that even now, with all of this going on, it's all I can do to keep from grabbing you right now and starting it all over again. But before anything happens again between us, I need to know that it is because you want it to, not because you feel it has to. Do you understand? I feel like I took advantage of you, Kurt, because you weren't honest with me when I asked you if what we were doing was ok."

"It was…it IS…ok." Kurt reached out for Blaine's hand, and this time Blaine did not pull away. "Lay back down, baby…please". They had had this whole situation play out while still in bed, their bed…and Kurt wanted to make sure he did everything he could to make Blaine understand that while his thoughts may have been irrational, his heart-and body-were totally his. No hesitation. No doubts.

Blaine lay back on the pillows, and Kurt put his head on his shoulder.

"Kurt, why do you think I would ever want anyone else when I have everything I want right here, lying next to me?"

The answer took longer than Kurt had wanted, but he was afraid of making another mistake in getting across what he wanted to say. "Blaine, you are so beautiful. Those eyes, that mouth, that voice. Even when you speak, it sounds like music to me. Everything about you says "amazing" and when I look at you, I see an man that had everything to offer. When I look in the mirror…" Kurt could feel the sting of tears forming."I see a boy. A boy who is awkward and inexperienced. We truly are the odd couple."

And there it was.

Kurt wasn't jealous of Blaine wanting someone else. He was afraid that Blaine would tire of the differences between them. Placing his hands on both sides of his face, Blaine told Kurt, with as much conviction as he could, that their differences are what make their relationship work. If they were alike in every way, how could there be room for growth between them? With them being at two different schools now, it was hard on them both, but they were each having different experiences which gave them so much to talk about when they did see each other.

"I miss seeing you every day. I miss holding your hand. I miss seeing how your hair is a mess in the morning. I just….miss you, Blaine."

Blaine wanted Kurt so badly at that moment. He leaned forward to kiss him, and when he did, he felt as if he couldn't stop. He didn't want to. He tasted Kurt's tongue with his own, and in one move he shifted Kurt so that he was lying on his back, the full length of the his body pressed against him. Blaine kissed his shoulder, working his way to his neck, then finally back to his lips. He stopped only long enough to whisper softly into Kurt's ear-

"Tell me, Kurt. Say it…" Blaine said, his voice shaky and his breathing becoming labored. "I want to know that you want this".

"I love you, Blaine. I love you and I want you to touch me again…"

Blaine slid his hand down to touch Kurt, and wrapping his fingers around him, moved his hand slowly, hearing a soft moan coming from deep inside of his boyfriend.

"Is this what you want, Kurt? "

"Yes" was all that Kurt was able to say. His head was back on the pillow, his eyes closed, as Blaine made his whole body tremble with pleasure.

"Blaine, I want to…."

Blaine kissed Kurt hard, silencing his words but not his sighs.

"Does this show you how I feel about you, Kurt? Only you? That you are the only one I want to touch?"

Kurt barely had the strength to nod yes before Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt's ear one more time-

"Then hold on to me, Kurt, because what I'm going to do to you next will be so worth breaking curfew for."