Chapter 10: Back to New York

Joe sat in his empty hotel room. Nothing to look forward to, and only things to look back on the memories that once were. He knew it was permanently over. After he told her that he needed some time, he could hear it in her voice.

All this time he had been telling himself that this was just like his first marriage. Part of that was true. There were some of the same feelings, but there was something he had not even been mentioning to himself. Something that he had been trying to hide from himself. Everything that he had been trying to forget about was contained in the unopened envelope that he had brought with him.

On the drive back to the hotel, he had been thinking that he would finally tell Rhoda. Tell her what she had needed to hear and stop trying to protect her. But now, now there was a baby. She sounded hurt on the phone, but it was better this way. This way she would never know. He could just disappear from her life and she would never have to hear about his. The thought of having a child and never seeing them or at least meeting them hurt, but it was something he was going to have to put up with, especially if that envelope contained what he had thought it contained.

O o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

Rhoda and Mary sat at the table. They had arrived not too long ago. The suitcases were still packed and sitting by the bedroom door. There was no reason for Mary to unpack hers, and Rhoda just didn't want to unpack hers. Made something that she didn't like feel more permanent.

"How long do you think its gonna take for my mom to notice that I'm back?" Rhoda asked.

Mary shrugged. "Why?"

"Because, as soon as she finds out I'm back, she's gonna go on about how I don't tell her anything. My entire life has been made into a Broadway production."

Before anything else could be said, there was a knock at the door. "Open up Rhoda! Its Brenda!"

Rhoda rushed over to the door and opened it. "Brenda? What's wrong?"

Brenda was out of breath as she rushed pass the open door and closed it behind her. Eyes full of guilt, she looked up to Rhoda.

"Oh no," Rhoda said upon seeing her expression. "She knows about Joe?"

Brenda just nodded. "Sorry Rho. She sorta dragged it outta me."

Rhoda sighed. "She's on her way up here?"

Brenda nodded again.

Mary stood up and walked over to join the two. "You think you're ready for that yet?" she asked.

Rhoda shrugged. "What choice I got?" she asked. "Gotta tell everyone sooner or later." To be honest, she was glad that she could get this over with right away. Just tell them and give them the time to get used to it. The way she saw it, there was no way that things could be worse than the last twenty four hours were.

"What? About Joe? What did he say?" Brenda asked.

"You'll find out in a minute," Rhoda said trying to think of what to say when her mother walked through the door. That moment came all too soon.

"Rhoda! I need to talk to you!" Ida called out as she knocked on the door.

Mary looked over to Rhoda who nodded to her. Opening the door, she happily greeted her. "Hey!" she said.

"Hey Mary," Ida smiled as she returned the greeting and then walked right passed her to Rhoda. "The last time I was here, you were married. Is there something that you would like to tell me?"

"He left Ma, what was there to tell you? I'm still married, he just hasn't come back," Rhoda said. She knew that he wasn't coming back, but anything to make things sound better.

"He left? He left you? How could you not tell me about that?"

"She thought he was bluffing," Brenda said.

Ida and Rhoda turned back to her for a second. 'Well, he did say that he just needed some time alone," Mary said defending her.

"That's still something you should mention to your mother," Ida said.

"If you all sit down I'll tell you what happened over the past few days," Rhoda offered.

Ida agreed and she and Brenda went and sat down on the couch. "All right, tell us," Ida said.

Rhoda slowly walked over and stood by the arm of the couch. Mary came over and sat down on the chair beside her. "Well, as you all know, Joe left me. We were having some issues with tension, and arguing."

"Well everyone argues. That's no reason to end a marriage," Ida said.

"Ma please," Rhoda said.

"Sorry. Go ahead."

"Well, then I went over to Mary's to stay for a while and she and Brenda got Joe to come out and talk to me." Rhoda looked to Brenda, "this is where you get lost."

"Of course everyone knows more than me," Ida remarked.

"Anyways, he came out and we had a huge fight. I ended up telling him that I was pregnant and he told me that he still needed more time."

Brenda just looked in amazement while Ida stood up. "How long did you know about this?"

"About two weeks," Rhoda said.

"And he just left you," Ida said as she turned away. "You okay?" she asked turning back to her.

"Yeah," Rhoda said giving her a reassuring smile. The smile was fake, and the answer was a lie. It would be worth it though if she could convince herself that she truly was fine. She was better than the previous night. It could also only get better from now.

"You sure?" Brenda asked. She could see that something was wrong. With the current situation, it was obvious as to what was bothering her, but there seemed to be more to the story than what she was hearing.

"Of course I'm sure. Why would I say I was if I wasn't?" Her eyes suddenly lit up and she made a run for the bathroom.

As soon as Rhoda was gone, Ida turned back and looked to Mary. "Anything else I should know?" she asked.

Mary shook her head. "That's everything, unless she's holding something from me."

O o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

It was around midnight. Rhoda sat up in her darkened kitchen with an opened half gallon of ice cream before her.

"Rhoda?" Mary asked as she turned the light on. "What are you doing up?"

"Thought I would catch up on my eating." Rhoda took a bite. "I figure eating for a second me will be pretty hard, thought I would get a head start on it."

"I see," Mary said as she sat down across from her.

"You want any?" Rhoda offered.

"Nah, I'll let you enjoy it," Mary answered.

"Good, I was trying to be nice. I don't know what I would have done if you said yes."

Mary just laughed. "So, are you starting to feel better about all of this yet?"

Rhoda set her spoon down and leaned forward. "You know, I really am. Just getting the whole announcement thing over with helped a lot. That and the time I spent thinking about it on the plane. Thinking of ways to make this work."

"Yeah?" Mary asked. She was just glad to see that Rhoda was doing better.

"I uh, I made a decision about Joe." She was looking down to her hands. There was still some uncertainty as to how she felt about it, but she knew it was the right one. Slowly looking up, she could see Mary awaiting what she was about to say. "If he comes back about this kid turns two, I can't take him back. If he comes back before then, he's really gonna have to gain my trust again."

"Its not that a disagree with you, but don't you think you should wait until you're a little more together before you make that kind of decision?" Mary asked.

Rhoda shook her head. "No. First, I can still clearly remember last night and how I felt. Mary, I don't want my kid to ever feel like that. To ever get attached to someone and then hear that they need time away from you. He left me once, if I just let him back, he could easily do the same thing again. Sure, It'll hurt me, but think about what it would do to a four year old who misses their daddy. Second, I'll probably stay more firm about it if I make it while I'm still mad."

"Would you still let him meet his son or daughter?" Mary asked.

"I may be a little rude at times, but that's just plain cruel. I would allow him to visit."

"Are you going to file for divorce?"

The question, for some reason stung Rhoda. "I don't know. I mean, with the body I'm about to have, its not like I'll be out dating. Then I'll be too busy to date for a while. Its not like I'm gonna go out and start something serious." She looked up to Mary for a second. "Why?"

"Just wondering. Since you had a few other things thought out I thought you might have a decision about whether or not you would file for one."

"Actually, I think I'm gonna wait for him to send me the papers. I'm already going to be busy." She didn't want to admit it, but she didn't want to be the one to end it officially. It would be like letting him off the hook. After all he has done within the past week, she couldn't just go the easy route with him. He would have to go through and get the paperwork and everything arranged. "I'm sure that he'll be sending me something within the next year."

They sat in silence for a brief moment before Rhoda broke it. "I think we should go to bed. My dad's gonna be wanting to talk to me tomorrow."

"That won't be stressful," Mary said as she stood up.

Rhoda stood up and grabbed the ice cream to put it away. "Yeah, but I don't want to be falling a sleep in the middle of an important conversation."

Mary started to make her way to the bedroom. "I don't think anyone can fall a sleep while talking about something like this."

Rhoda went to catch up to her. "Yeah, with my luck though I'd fall into a coma."