Hello Poison Ghouls! I've decided to write out the previously mentioned episode None But the Lonely Heart's introduction. Its my favorite by far!

The Curtains pull up to find a restaurant like setting with two skeletons in semi nice clothing with cobwebs all over them. And a third skeleton is playing the violin. Since this weeks tale concerned wealthy older women, Dumbledore had invited several members of older pureblood families to enjoy the "Episode."

"Damn you Marcel!" Harry in his Cryptkeeper costume said to the violin playing skeleton. "I told you they wanted VIOLENCE! Not VIOLINS!" He pushed the skeleton down and the playing stopped. "Good help is so ha rd to fiend isn't it kiddies? Would you like a little more Champain?" Harry asked the skeleton in male clothing. He cackled and even Lucius Malfoy chuckled at the horror puns. "I hope your hungry for tonight's murderous menu kiddies. Its about a man whose discovered that the fastest way to a woman's heart, is with a Pickax!" Harry opened the menu he was carrying and the picture on the front cover showed an old woman shrieking in terror. "I call this little horrorderve, None But the Lonely Heart."

Did you enjoy? I hope so kiddies! *Cackles*

Now, on with the show!

Front Page News

By Dean the Cuddly Fox'

Random Students play the cast

"And so Rex the Chinchilla can live to see another day thanks to the successful experimental transplant? What the fuck is this trash?" The man behind a desk shouted at the red head reporter as she cringed in fear when he threw her story into a fire.

"I'm sorry Mr. Burns, but I thought-"

"Tracy, I've known you for three years." The suspender wearing editor said to the timid graduate student. "And throughout these 3 years you have given me the weirdest,most boring stories on the face of the planey, its a miracle we can sell a paper with you on our staff."

"I'm sorry Mr. Burns-" Tracy started again but she was cut off.

"Either bring me a front page story, or your ass is grass you hear me?" The editor in chief shouted at Tracy with spittle flying out of his mouth onto her skirt. Tracy meeped in terror and left her bosses office as he threw an ornament after her and it shattered the wall behind her.

"Lousy, good for nuthin, pig!" Tracy shouted that night as she walked home through the park. It was almost ten o' clock. The Wino's came out to play at this hour.

"Hey lady!" A homeless man shouted as she passed. "Spare ten bucks?"

"Get a job creep!" Tracy snapped at the wino as he got up from the park bench he was sitting on.

"Now you listen here missy! I-" HE said but a scream came out of him as she turned around in a flash and stabbed him in the throat with her girl scout knife that she had carried everywhere since she was a little girl. The man's warm, red blood soaked her fingers and dribbled to the ground below as she stared in shock at what she had done. Thinking fast she dug through his throat into his jugular bein as the homeless wino cried out in terror with no voice as she had cut through his vocal cords along the way. She gasped for breath when the corpse fell to the ground in a pool of his own blood, he skirt soaked in it and her hand as well. She fled the scene in terror, and mad eit to her apartment. Thankfully, there was no dripping of blood from her skirt as she ran up the steps in the boarding house where she lived. She locked the door behind her and slid down with her back to the door. Her non bloodied hand covering her mouth and her bloodied one holding her knife at arms length as she came to grips with what she has done.

"Wait." She said suddenly to herself. "I'm the only one who knows about this." The wheels began turning in her mind as a plan formed to visit the park early tomorrow. With her notebook.

"So you don't have any leads yet as to the identity of the murderer?" Tracy asked one of the cops who had arrived on the scene and was keeping the crowd under control.

"Not yet ma'm." The cop agreed as the body was taken away in an ambulance. "But we do know that the fatal blow was caused by some type of small, portable knife, like a switch blade."

"Thank you officer." Tracy said with a knowing smile as he walked away. Let's see Burns turn this down. She thought in her mind as she walked away.

"What do you mean NO?" Tracy asked in shock as Burns turned down her story.

"No one gives two shits if a homeless guy dies in this town Tracy." Burns said. "This is what sells!" The headline of the front page read TEEN CELEBRITY MURDERED! IN HOTEL LOBBY, POLICE SUSPECT MANAGER IN RAPE/HOMICIDE. "Now, if this was a serial killer, then you'd have a story girl." The suspender wearing man said putting a cigar in his mouth and lighting it. "If you can't come up with a front page story in one week, your fired. And, your reputation will be ruined in this town. I will personally see to that."

Tracy, furious with her boss, ripped the stoagie out of his mouth and threw it in the fireplace before slamming the door behind her. "Bitch!" Burns called after Tracy as he pulled out another cigar.

I'll show him. Tracy said as she walked through the park that night. She spotted another homeless man trying to sleep under an old newspaper against a brick wall. "Hey you." She said seductively tot he elderly homeless man. "I'm lost, think you could help a little ol' thing like me?" She asked innocently guiding him up. The old man nodded soundlessly. "Good." She stabbed his throat with her knife and laughed as she drug it through to the jugular again and his blood sdplattered the pavement.

3 days, and 3 murders later, Tracy found herself at Burn's desk again.

"FABULOUS!" Burns said eagerly. "HOMELESS SERIAL MURDERER? I love this!" He read through the story. "Its amazing how you always know when to go to the park and get the info before anyone else doll!" He said excitedly. "I could kiss ya!" As a matter of fact, he kissed her on the cheek. "Front Page for you this week doll! Yahoo!" He rushed to his editor to pull the current front page story and replace it with Tracy's."

She smiled as she left the office with a big fat bonus in her paycheck.

Detective Williams and Munch where at their wits end with the Homelsss Killer case. They had no clues, no leads, and there was the odd coincidence of that female journalist who always was first on the scene.

"Hey Marty." Munch said to his partner as he was reading the paper. "Listen to this. 'The homeless victims deaths where reportedly to be the same, a single stab to the throat, and drug through the jugular vein.' I wasn't aware we had released that information yet?"

"I don't think we did James" Williams said to his partner. "We need to pay miss Tracy a visit."

Meanwhile, Tracy was inwardly panicking.

Damn Damn Damn! They haven't released that little bit of information yet! Tracy panicked as she started packing. She had to get out of town, to...wait...The answer came to her as the red headed woman smiled evilly. There's no problem. I just have to take care of a couple of loose ends. She heard a knock on her door.

"Miss Travers?" Munch's voice came through the door. "We'd like a word with you."

She opened the door a crack. "How can I help officers?" She asked with her door on its sliding lock.

"We just wanted to know how you knew each victims jugular vein had been cut?" Williams asked. "We haven't released the information yet."

"I...heard a rumor from one of my colleagues." Tracy explained in a falsely sweet tone. "She heaqrd this rumor from a friend in the Police Department."

They seemed to by this story. "Well ma'am, we'd appreciate it if you would refrain from reporting what we haven't released to the public yet in the future." Munch said in a relieved tone.

"Of course."Tracy said hesitantly. "My apologies." She said as they left and she closed the door. She phwew'ed in relief as she got a glass and poured herself a glass of scotch on the rocks.

BANG BANG BANG! The door banged loudly. "Police! Open up! We know your in their ma'am, and we know you lied to us! You see, we're the only two cops on this case! And we haven't told anyone those little details!"

Tracy gasped as the banging continued. She got out the revolver she had hidden in her tool drawer and loaded two bullets into the barrel. Making sure the safety was turned off she shrieked as the door crashed to the ground and the Munch and Williams came rushing in with handcuffs in hand and a gun in the other.

BANG! Williams fell to the floor bleeding from his heart.

"Bitch!" Munch shouted and aimed his own gun at Tracy. HANG! They both fell to the floor, Munch with a bullet in his heart, and Tracy with one in her brain.

The next days headline read: REPORTER AND TWO OFFICERS DEAD IN ATTEMPTED ARREST. With a picture of Tracy on the floor with her bullet wound and the revolver in her stiff hand...

END OF FRONT PAGE NEWS

The stage magically shifted again to see Harry in the Cryptkeeper costume reading the same article. By the fireplace in a bathrobe "Well, I guess Tracy got what she wanted after all kiddies." He brought up a glass of wine that had a muggle fake eyeball toy inside but it got cringes from his audience anyway. "After all, its not everyday you get a story of your own on the front page!" He cackled maniaclly and the set faded to black.

To Be Continued...

How was my first original story? That literally was my first try at original fiction. I hope you enjoyed it!

Should I write out the ending Cryptkeeper scene of None But the Lonely Heart?

Review Review Review!

Dean the Cuddly Fox