Authors note: Thanks for all of the reviews, really makes the writing worth it! This chapter jumps ahead about eight months...I know I said time jumps were done, but this first part of the chapter was the one part I really wanted to write and I didn't want to wait...plus I was having a hard time picking up at the end of the last chapter. I hope you like it, please review...thanks. Timeline/ages may be a little off, but I have done my best to keep them as accurate as I could...sorry for any mistakes. Thanks again for all of the reviews and I hope you enjoy...flashbacks in italics.
"You would think since my husband is retired," Haley said as she stood in her kitchen with Brooke, "that this game would not run my house."
"I don't think Nathan will ever give up basketball Hales," Brooke smiled as she helped Haley clear the table.
"Well I for one would not mind missing a year of finals," she smiled as the guys started cheering from her living room.
"You do realize that you met your husband because of basketball," Brooke asked with a smirk.
"Yes, thank you, I do," Haley said, "you ok?"
"Yeah," Brooke smiled up at her best friend, "I'm fine." The truth was she had been missing Julian lately, Father's Day was only a few days away and she couldn't help but think about him, about the one Father's Day he had been there for.
"Brooke," Julian called as he walked into the house. It had been one of those days, he was working on a new film with Alex and things just seemed to be going wrong. He was putting in so much effort and it just seemed like they were falling so far behind in pre-production, here it was Sunday night and he was just getting home. "Are you in here," he asked as he walked in the kitchen, a smile immediately upon his face, "what is this?"
"This," she said kissing her husband, "is Father's Day Julian Baker."
"Hey buddy," he said as he kissed his nine month old son sitting in the high chair, "daddy missed you."
"Mommy missed daddy," Brooke said as Julian hugged her.
"I missed you," he sighed looking around the kitchen. Brooke Davis-Baker had gone all out. There were blue balloons and streamers, there was a cake, and the best of all in Julian's eyes was his son and wife.
"So we wanted to surprise you," she said as Julian sat down at the table, she made her way to the stove where she plated the meal she had prepared for him, "your favorite."
"How did I get so lucky," he asked with a smile as he watched her. He was truly in awe of her, this life, being a mom and a wife, it fit her. Some people who knew Brooke Davis in high school would never have imagined her this way, but Julian Baker couldn't imagine her any other way.
"You married me," she chuckled as she sat down.
"That's right," Julian said, "have I told you how much I love you Mrs. Baker?"
"Not today," she said.
"Well I do love you, so much."
"Well, Mr. Davis I love you too," she said as she smiled at her son who was now covered in icing from the cupcake she had given him, "happy Father's Day."
"Are you sure you're ok," Haley asked noticing Brooke's distant expression.
"Just thinking," Brooke said.
"Hey," Jamie said as he walked in the kitchen, followed by Chuck and Dre.
"Who won," Brooke asked with a smile. She couldn't believe Jamie had just turned thirteen, life seemed to be moving so fast sometimes.
"Lakers," he said as he grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, "go figure."
"Yeah, I bet you father isn't happy," Haley said with a laugh.
"No he isn't," Nathan said as he and Lucas joined the gathering in the kitchen.
"Dad," Jamie said shaking his head, "we're gonna head to the river court, are you guys up for a game?"
"Sure," Nathan said, "Luke you in?"
"Yeah," he smiled at his nephew.
"Boys be home at a decent time for dinner," Haley said as they all started making their way outside, "Lucas that includes you too."
"Yes dear," Lucas said playfully as he closed the door behind him.
"Mamma," Grace called as she and Davis walked into the kitchen.
"Yeah baby girl," Haley said with a smile.
"I made something for daddy," the five year old said holding up a card she made, "because Father's Day is Sunday."
"That is really good," Haley said, "daddy is going to love it lady bug."
"That is awesome Gracie," Brooke said smiling down at the mini version of Haley.
"I hope he likes it," she said, "Davis made one too."
"You did, huh," Haley said as she leaned down to look at the card the little boy held, "that is really good, Davis," Haley said wiping her eyes as she looked up at Brooke with a sad smile.
"Can I see it buddy," Brooke asked, her son showed her the blue card he had made with Grace's help.
"It's for Uncle Lucas," Davis said as Brooke wrapped her arm around her three and a half year old son.
"He's gonna love it buddy," Brooke said as she kissed the top of his head, she wiped her eyes.
"What are you doing out here alone," Lucas asked as he walked out on the back deck of his brothers home.
"Just sitting here," she said softly.
"You ok Brooke," he said as he sat in the chair next to her looking out into the afternoon sky over the ocean.
"Yeah," she said forcing a smile.
"Well, Haley is worried about you," he said with a sigh.
"I'm fine Lucas," she smiled.
"You know that I am here, Brooke, that hasn't changed."
"Things always change Luke, it's life," she said honestly, "it's true what Peyton said, people always leave."
"Not everyone leaves," he said, "I'm here and I am not going anywhere."
"Luke," she whispered looking over at him, "I…"
"Hey, I don't mean to intrude," the brunette said as she stepped outside, "but I am going to get home."
"Ok," Lucas said as he stood up and walked towards her.
"Are you coming by later," she asked.
"Yeah," he said, "I will be by after I leave here."
"Ok," she said kissing him on the cheek, "bye Brooke, I'll see you later."
"Bye Alex," Brooke said forcing a smile. Lucas had started working with Alex about a month ago, shortly after his accident she started showing interest in him, they were writing a script together. Of course Alex had to share the details of the night they had slept together after a few too many drinks. Brooke didn't want to be bothered by it. She had formed somewhat of a friendship with Alex over the years, but this wasn't what she ever imagined. She wanted to tell her how wrong it was, that Alex shouldn't just sleep with everyone, but the truth was she had no right, it wasn't her place to judge, Alex and :ucas were adults. Lucas had insisted that it was a one time, drunken thing, although Brooke knew he owed her no explanations. He had told Nathan how much fun he had with Alex but it wasn't what he wanted, at least that's what Haley said, they really were just working on the script. "I'm fine Luke, go," she said as the two were left alone again.
"Brooke," he said with a sigh, knowing something was off with her, but also knowing she wasn't ready to share whatever it was. "Fine," he said, she clearly didn't want to talk. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered, but other times he knew. He knew having her in his life, in any capacity, was worth it, "I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he walked back inside, Haley walked outside.
"I am fine."
"I didn't say anything," Haley said as she sat down with a glass of wine.
"You didn't have to," Brooke sighed.
"It's been eight months, Brooke, eight whole months since his accident."
"I know."
"Ok," Haley said defeated, "all I am saying is that you my friend need to tell him. Lucas is never going to know how you feel if you don't say anything. We all promised not to say it, but honey it has been eight months and he is healthy and fine."
"I don't think I'm ready," she said quietly, "and it seems like he is happy, Haley and I do not want to mess it up. He has already done so much for me and Davis, Luke shouldn't waste his life on us."
"Really? Are we really having this discussion for the millionth time Brooke? Luke loves you, there, I said it. He does, you love him. I know that this last couple of years has been hard, Brooke, I know how hard losing Julian was for you, but honey, you have to live. You and Davis have to live, that's what Julian would want, he would want you to be happy, hell even Sylvia tells you that."
"I appreciate this, you being concerned, but I am fine," she said looking at the time on her cell phone, "I think I am going to take my boy home, it's been a long day."
"Come on," Brooke said as Davis walked into her bedroom, "it's ok buddy." Her son had gotten accustomed to sleeping with her when he was scared. Sometimes she felt like it was when she was scared, like Davis could sense her sadness, "are you scared tonight?"
"Are you sad mamma," he asked softly, it nearly killed her that her three and a half year old son was worried about her being sad.
"No, baby, mamma's just tired," she said kissing the top of his head as he cuddled up to her. He was wearing his blue pajamas that Lucas had given him, they of course had basketballs on them. "Did you have fun with Grace today?"
"Uh huh," he said quietly, "she helped me make my card for Uncle Lucas."
"Well, that's good," Brooke said.
"Where's Sawyer," he asked.
"Sawyer is with her mamma in Savannah, she'll be back tomorrow though," Brooke said, "do you miss her buddy?"
"Uh huh, I like when we go to Uncle Lucas' house with her too," he said as he closed his eyes, she ran her hands through his hair as he started to fall asleep against her. Brooke sat there watching her son as he fell asleep. She laid him on the pillow beside her, he was holding his teddy bear as she kissed his forehead. She reached beside her bed and grabbed a book. A book she had read a hundred times, a book that reminded her of what she used to be. His book. The book that had brought Julian to her, Lucas' book. She opened it to the section she had been stuck on lately. The section where Lucas talked about Keith's death.
Sometimes she could feel the emotions of that time in their lives as she read his words, sometimes it felt like fiction. It seemed like yesterday and sometimes it seemed so long ago. Brooke remembered how hard it was seeing Karen and Lucas struggle through it. She wondered where Karen got the strength to get through that, to move on, to let herself love someone again. She hoped that someday she would be that strong, that brave, for herself and for her son. She closed the book and laid it on the nightstand and picked up her cell phone.
"Hello."
"Hey, it's me," she said softly as she looked at her sleeping son, "I know it's late."
"It's fine Brooke," he said quietly, looking at the clock it was after midnight, "is everything ok?"
"Yeah, Luke, everything is ok," she said as she sighed.
"Ok," he said confused.
"I just wanted to hear your voice," she said as she wiped her eyes, "I just needed to hear your voice."
"Brooke, I'm here, I'm fine," he said, "I am not going anywhere, I told you that." Over the last eight months this had become routine. When she felt lonely, or sad, even confused, she called. The conversations sometimes lasted hours, and sometimes minutes. But he liked it, he liked feeling like she needed him, even though he knew it was selfish.
"I know," she said, "I wanted to tell you something too, that's why I called."
"Ok."
"Davis," she said struggling to keep her composure, "he was helping Grace make a Father's Day card for Nathan, and he," she said, "he made one for you." Silence. The line was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, "Luke?"
"Yeah, Brooke I'm here."
"I just didn't want you to be mad or something," she said, "I know that he's not…"
"Brooke," he said cutting her off, "I would never be mad at that."
"He was so proud of it, you mean a lot to him Luke."
"Brooke, that little boy means the world to me," he said, "Sawyer and Davis both mean everything to me, and I know that he's not my son, but Brooke I am happy to be here for him, for you."
"Lucas," she sighed, "thank you. It means a lot having you here, for both of us."
"There is nowhere else I'd rather be, Brooke," he said, which was partially a lie, because the truth was Lucas Scott wanted to be with her. He wanted to have a life, to be the man she loved, but for now he would settle for this. The moments when she needed a shoulder to cry on, the times when she needed someone to laugh with, whatever it was she needed, he was happy to be there. He wanted more, how could he not. Everyone had told him how diligent she was after his accident, how she wouldn't leave that night, how she broke down and told Karen she loved him. He knew that she was afraid and he didn't want to push, so for now this was enough, and the days when he thought it wasn't he reminded himself of how badly he had hurt her before. How the possibility at one day getting a chance was worth the wait.
"I should get to sleep," she said wiping her eyes.
"Ok," he said.
"Ok," she said, "hey Luke."
"Yeah?"
"I love you, you know that right," she asked.
"Yeah, I love you too Brooke," he said.
"Lucas," she said, "I am in love with you."
"Brooke," he said.
"I know that you probably don't want to hear that."
"No," he said, she felt a pain when he said that word, hurt, afraid, broken. "Brooke," he said noticing she got quiet, "what you said," he sighed, "I have been waiting to hear that for a long time Brooke Davis because I am in love with you too, I always have been."
"I don't know if I am ready for this, Luke, if Davis is ready for this," she said, "but I don't want to wait forever, I don't want to lose you."
"Hey, you won't lose me, pretty girl," he said, "I'm not ready to be lost," he said causing her to smile as she remembered that night so many years ago. She loved him, he loved her, and for the first time in a long time Brooke Davis believed that people who are meant to be always find their way in the end.
Not sure if I should continue or not? I am undecided, what do you think?