Authors note: I own nothing. Chapter has more flashbacks, in italics. I hope you like it...not sure exactly how to get where I want to go, but I thought some of the flashbacks were needed to get there. Read and review, I really do appreciate all of the reviews so far. Ireally enjoy this story, the freedom that this story presents me as a writer is amazing...it does follow the show to a degree, but I feel like I have made it mine, and I get to have Brulian and Brucas...the idea of the phone call being an easier way to say something was dead on. I, personally, think it is much easier to say something without seeing the person, but I also realize that the aftermath is sometimes this weird tense moments, closing off and being afraid of the other persons reactions...hope you like this and please review...
Brooke Davis opened her eyes to her three year old son jumping on her bed, this brought a mile to her face. The playful side of Davis Scott Baker reminded her so much of Julian, she could see Julian jumping with him trying to wake her up, she smiled instead of crying. That was a milestone for Brooke Davis. She was able to think about Julian now without tears, not that there weren't times she would cry, but now she focused on the happy things more. She was happy, for the first time in a while Brooke Davis was happy.
"Mamma," he said in between jumps, smiling ear to ear, "can we go see Sawyer today?"
"Yeah buddy," she said sitting up, pulling him close to her, "I think we can, remember we are going to Aunt Haley's for lunch today and I think Sawyer is gonna be there too." She loved her son with her whole heart, she couldn't imagine her life without him, she would always be grateful to Julian for that gift.
"Yay," he said as he went back to jumping.
"Let's get you some breakfast crazy boy," she said as she grabbed her robe. She led her son to their kitchen where he started watching Saturday morning cartoons while she was preparing his favorite, French toast. The moments like this were what she cherished. She knew her son would never question her love for him, never wonder if she really loved him, if he was enough.
"He's so tiny," Julian said as he stood with Brooke in the doorway of the nursery. Their two week old son sleeping soundly in the crib, "Brooke, are you ok?"
"Yeah," she whispered.
"Hey," he said turning to face her, "what's wrong?"
"I'm afraid that I can't do this Julian," she said, tears streaming her face, "I'm afraid that I won't love him enough, that he won't love me, that I'm going to be like my mother, I don't want to, I want to be better."
"Shh," he said wrapping his arms around her, he gently kissed her forehead, "Brooke you are already an amazing mother, and Davis, he is so loved. Brooke, you are not going to be a bad mom, you couldn't be, and he will love you honey, and you love him enough already to last him a lifetime."
"Thank you," she said as she leaned against him, "I can't imagine where I'd be without you Julian Baker. I love you, you know that?"
"Yeah, I have heard something about that," he smiled the grin that she loved so much, "I love you, Brooke, so much, and I love Davis, and we are going to have the best life, the three of us, forever."
"I love you," she said with a smile, she did. She loved him so much more than she thought she could, and she loved their son and the life they were building together, a family.
"Mamma," Davis said pulling her from her thoughts.
"Yeah buddy," she said turning the stove off as she put the last piece of french toast on the plate.
"Can I have chocolate milk today," he asked still focused on the tv.
"Yeah baby you can," she said as she got his favorite blue cup out of the cabinet.
"Come on buddy," Julian said sitting on the floor holding Davis' hand, "you can do it."
"Come on baby," Brooke said sitting at the other end of the couch, "you can do it," she said as she held her hands out to her ten month old son, "come to mamma baby."
"There you go," Julian said as he let go of Davis' hand, he took his first steps in that moment towards Brooke who was holding his blue sippy cup, "he did it, Brooke, he did it."
"Good job buddy," she said as she wrapped her arms around her son, she smiled at Julian, "he did it didn't he?"
"Yes, Mrs. Baker your baby just walked," Julian said as he scooted closer to the mother and son duo, "our son just walked."
"I love you," she said as she kissed him, "mamma loves you too."
"I love you, both of you," Julian smiled.
Lucas Scott stood on the river court. This was his world, well a big part of it. This place was so much more than just a basketball court, it held so much history. It was the place that brought Nathan into his life. Lucas Scott could not imagine where his life would be now if it hadn't been for basketball, if it hadn't been for this place.
"It's my world, Brooke, at least it used to be."
"I have been here before you know."
"I know," Lucas said as they watched the guys, "but I never told you what this place is to me. It's not just a court, it's where I came from, it's where I belong, it's my world."
"So, do I get to be a part of this world?"
"The biggest part."
The truth was that Brooke Davis was still one of the biggest parts of his life, and he loved that. He remembered standing on that court making that shot, knowing in his heart that Brooke was the one.
"Ok, take your shirt off."
"Rachel," he said in a confused tone.
"I'm not going to touch you, you sissy-virgin boy. I'm trying to make a point, take your shirt off." Lucas smiled, sighed, and then took his shirt off. "Alright, you say Brooke's the one," she handed him the ball, "your soul mate," Rachel wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "well if that's the case, call upon destiny, or providence, or whatever forces are gonna bring you two together, and make the shot, blindfolded." She tied his shirt over his eyes.
"This is ridiculous," he laughed.
"Come on it's your destiny, you can't miss. Ok, can you see me?"
"No." She had to be sure, so she made a fool of herself dancing.
"Ok, I trust you. Now follow my voice, if Brooke's the one, make the shot."
"What happened," he asked after shooting the ball.
"It went in. Nice shot."
The truth was that he was scared now. He knew that the late night phone call last night was real, her finally telling him, that was real, but he knew Brooke Davis too well to think that they could just start a real relationship now. She was going to be guarded, she was going to try and push him away, but he wouldn't let her. He would be crazy not to fight for her, to try with her.
"Well look at it this way Luke," Julian said as they sat together on the bleachers at the river court, "you lost the movie and a huge production bonus, I lost the movie, a huge production bonus and two amazing girls."
"Yeah what happened with Brooke anyway," Lucas asked as he took another drink of his beer.
"Well, we started out just having fun," he said, "but then she told me that she needed to be more than that, so I made it more than that, at which point she freaked out and said that she just wanted to have fun," Lucas laughed out loud at this, "which made it really not fun for either of us, sort of."
"Hey, you know what, maybe uh, maybe you and Brooke will still work it out."
"Yeah we'll see," Julian said in a defeated tone.
"We'll see," Lucas said mockingly.
"What," Julian asked.
"It's Brooke Davis, ok," Lucas said seriously, "so if you don't try you're an idiot."
"Thank you," Julian replied.
"So," Haley said drawing Lucas out of his memories, "what exactly did you drag me away from home at," she said looking at her watch, "nine thirty in the morning on a Saturday?"
"Brooke called me last night," he said, "it was after midnight."
"Yeah, Luke, Brooke calls you a lot," Haley said as she sat down beside her broody best friend.
"Yeah, but it's not every day that she says she's in love with me," he said.
"Shut up," Haley said with a huge smile on her face, "are you serious," she asked, Lucas nodded, "Luke this is huge."
"Yeah," he smiled slightly, "but it was last night, so today, well today she is going to push me away," he sighed, '"again."
"You love her," Haley said softly, "Lucas, and you would be the craziest person I know if you let her push you away, if you don't try."
"I told that to Julian once," he said sadly, "right here, after the movie was stopped and we were sitting here drinking a beer together. God, Hales, how did we get here?"
"He loved her, Lucas," she said wiping away a tear from her face, "but Julian died, and as sad and tragic as that is, Brooke has to live, she has to move forward for her and her son. And, Lucas, her finally telling you how she feels, that is huge, so don't let her just push you away, Lucas, fight for her and what you want."
"This is what I want, Haley," he sighed, "being with her, having a life with her, with Sawyer and Davis, that's what I want."
"Then fight for it Lucas Scott," Haley said as she wrapped her arm around her.
"Thank you," he said as he smiled at her.
"You're welcome," she said as she stood up, "now remember lunch today at my house, three hours, be there and bring that beautiful niece of mine."
"We'll be there," he said.
"Mamma," Davis said as Brooke was putting his shoes on, they were getting ready to head to Haley's for lunch with everyone, "why did my daddy go to heaven?"
"Baby," she said with tears in her eyes, "remember mamma told you, daddy had to go because god needed him. Daddy is with the angels now, with Jamie and Gracie's grandma and grandpa, Lily's daddy and Aunt Peyton's mommy's."
"Why did he leave us," he asked as he looked at her with the same eyes Julian used to look at her with. This was one of the moments she most dreaded in her life. She knew someday Davis would have questions, she just thought he would be older and she might be better prepared. She assumed this inquisition was due to the next day being Father's Day, and this nearly broke her heat looking at her three year old son.
"Buddy, come here," she said as she pulled him up on her lap, "your daddy loved you more than anything. He loved you so much, and daddy will always be with you, buddy, in your heart, ok. Daddy will always be with us."
"Mamma," he said as she kissed the top of his head, "can I have a new daddy?"
"Baby," she said softly, "why do want a new daddy? Your daddy was a great daddy and he loved you Davis, so much, so, so much sweetie."
"But, Uncle Lucas can be my daddy," he asked, "I made him a card, mamma, and Grace said they were for our daddy's. Can Uncle Lucas be my daddy?"
"Uncle Lucas loves you buddy, and he is gonna love your card so much, ok," she said hugging him tightly, "Uncle Lucas is gonna love it as much as he loves you baby boy."
"Mamma are you sad again," Davis asked as he looked up at her.
"No baby," she said running her hands through his sandy blonde hair, "mamma is not sad. I love you buddy, mamma loves you so much."
"Mamma, I love you," he said as he kissed her cheek.
"Ok, baby, we gotta going ok," she said as she stood up, "we have to go to Aunt Haley's. Jamie and Gracie are there, and Sawyer is gonna be there too."
"Ok," he said sadly.
"Hey," she said picking her son up, she kissed the top of his forehead, "baby, Uncle Lucas is Sawyer's daddy buddy, but he still loves you ok? He's always gonna be there for you Davis, no matter what, he loves us ok? And we love him," she said wiping her eyes.