Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter related. Any terminology, places or people that you recognize belong to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter Ten

Roxanne groaned loudly as she tossed and turned. Her mind was so filled with thoughts that she couldn't get her brain to shut up and let her sleep. She got up and left her room quietly. She went down to the kitchen and was surprised to see James's mother sitting at the kitchen table, tears in her eyes. Roxanne hesitated, thinking about leaving, but then her curiosity got the best of her and she walked in.

"Mrs. Potter? Are you okay?"

The woman jumped, making Roxanne stutter an apology. Mrs. Potter sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"Don't worry about it dear. Can I get you anything?"

Roxanne smiled. "Some milk if you have it would be great."

Elizabeth smiled and got up, pouring Roxanne a glass of milk. She gestured to her to join her at the table. Roxanne went and sat, drinking her milk appreciatively.

"So what are you doing up at three in the morning Roxanne?" Elizabeth asked curiously.

"My brain just refuses to shut up. How about you?"

She shook her head. "Just having all you kids here. It makes me think of what could have been."

Roxanne looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry Mrs. Potter, must be hard on you."

She shook her head again. "No, I've learned that things happen for a reason. I'm okay, just being silly." She wiped her face again, sniffing slightly. "So, troubled thoughts?"

Roxanne nodded. "Yeah, I don't think I've ever been so confused in my life."

"Would you like to talk about it?" Elizabeth asked concerned.

Roxanne hesitated. She didn't really know James's mother, but she seemed nice enough. It would probably be really nice to have an outsiders look at things. Before Roxanne could stop herself, she ended up telling her everything. Elizabeth just listened, not betraying any emotion, not interrupting once.

A full twenty minutes later, Roxanne had gotten everything off her chest and sighed hugely. "I just don't know, and it's bugging the shit out of me. Usually I'm so sure of myself, and I've always been so good at knowing my own feelings, but it just seems like ever since I met Ryan I've just been so messed up. The most stupid thing about it? Is that there is not even a good reason why I've been so weird. I just have been, and that's a lot worse than having a good reason personally." James's mother nodded. "There, now you know all my crazy." Roxanne sighed again.

Elizabeth chuckled. "You're not crazy Roxanne. You are a 16 year old girl! Of course you don't know who you are or what you want. You're acting like a teenager and why is that bad? I have to say that lying definitely is not the answer though. You should trust your friends enough to tell them the truth. If they really are your friends, they won't judge you. I know it can be hard, because believe it or not, I was a teen once. You just have to make your choices carefully, because you are the one that is going to have to live with them."

Roxanne smiled gratefully. "You're right. Thanks Mrs. Potter. You don't know how much better I feel."

"Good. I'm so glad I could help." She looked at her watch. "Goodness, it's almost four in the morning. You better get some sleep."

Roxanne nodded, put her glass in the sink and walked toward the door, pausing before she left. "Are you going to be okay?"

Elizabeth nodded and smiled. "I'll be fine."

Roxanne nodded too. "Okay. Night." She left the kitchen and went to her room, finally able to drift off to sleep.

The next morning, Peter wanted to eat his breakfast outside, so the eight friends took a blanket outside and set up a breakfast picnic.

"Are you okay?" Dorcas asked Roxanne who was looking distinctly tired.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just pretty tired." Roxanne answered with a yawn.

After breakfast, they all said their goodbyes to Peter whose mother wanted him home. She came for him and they disapparated together. After that, everyone went their separate ways. James took Lily out into the village to show her around, and Marlene and Remus went with them. Roxanne retreated to her room to nap, and Sirius and Dorcas settled themselves in Sirius's room. Sirius was sprawled out on the bed while Dorcas made herself comfortable on a chair next to the bed. Sirius was telling her about the disastrous O.W.L result fiasco that went down with his parents.

"My mother actually chucked them at my head. Can you believe that?"

Dorcas rubbed his arm. "No. I'm sorry Sirius, that really sucks."

He shook his head. "Ah, no worries, I'm just happy I'm out of there. I don't know what my dad has planned for the Christmas holiday, but I'm pretty much dreading it. It must be something important that we have to look like a happy little family for. Why else would he have been so insistent on me coming home?"

Dorcas shrugged. "Who knows what it could be."

Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed with him. He gazed happily into her face and ran a hand though her hair. "You're so beautiful Dorcas. You really are."

She blushed and pushed him lightly. "Oh hush, everyone knows you are the adorable one in this relationship."

He laughed. "Can't argue with that logic," he said jokingly with a wink.

She just shook her head. Sirius ran a hand up her body, then cupped her face in his hand. He leaned over and kissed her softly. "Would I freak you out if I told you something?" He asked her softly.

Dorcas's eyes widened. "Depends. What is it?"

"I..." He couldn't get the rest of the words out, due to the fact that Dorcas grabbed his neck and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. She rolled him around on his back and got on top of him, tucking her hair behind her ears. After a few minutes, Sirius was so absorbed in their kissing that talking seemed irrelevant.

Remus walked upstairs, telling Lily, James and Marlene that he had to get something out of his trunk. He paused at his door then instead, made his way to Roxanne's room just to check on her, and let himself in. She was lying in her bed in the fetal position, her hair a tangled mess. She was also snoring lightly, making Remus smile. He hesitated for a couple minutes, then he walked over and crawled lightly into the bed, spooning her from the back. He stroked her hair lightly and made her stir. She turned her body around, and feeling his body, she snuggled close against his chest. "Always with the aftershave?" She said distinctly, her eyes still closed. Remus smiled again and studied her. He gazed at her long black eyelashes and her full pink lips. She was under the covers, but he could still make out the bumps of her breasts and the curve of her butt. He lifted her chin softly, and she complied, her face moving as he wished. He stroked her cheek and gave her a soft kiss. She moaned happily and puckered up again, as if waiting for another kiss. He smiled again and kissed her more deeply. She moaned again sleepily and moved slightly so she was more under him. He climbed on top of her, not breaking the kiss, excitement flowing though him. Roxanne felt the weight of something on top of her and opened her eyes slowly, quickly realizing that it was Remus and she also realized that she was kissing him! She made a scared noise and pushed him off of her. "Remus! What are you doing?" She said furiously. Without waiting for an answer, she got out of bed, fuming. "Get out! What on earth is going on?" She started panicking. "What all did we do?"

Remus got up quickly. "Nothing Roxanne! I just came in to check on you!"

"Check on me? Why?" She asked. Her brain seemed to be moving slowly.

"We just got back from the village and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm perfectly fine Remus. And perfectly capable of taking care of myself! How does checking on me involve getting into bed with me? How does your brain go from checking on me to kissing me? While I'm asleep! How did that seem like a good idea?" Roxanne almost yelled.

"Roxanne please don't yell. I'm sorry, I got carried away. You just looked so adorable. And... and my body just kinda took over. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" Remus said, not being able to look her in the eyes.

Roxanne sighed. He looked it. He looked really surprised and guilty about what he had done and she couldn't be mad at him. "Okay. Fine. But please, don't. We. Cannot. Do this. Marlene is right downstairs."

Remus nodded. "Sorry." He said quietly, leaving the room.

Roxanne sighed and rubbed a hand against her forehead, a guilty feeling coming into her stomach. She was so glad she didn't accidentally say Ryan's name. She was dreaming about him, which of course was why she was so willing to let Remus kiss her. How messed up was she? Thinking about one guy while making out with the other? She was just glad Remus didn't get the aftershave comment she made. What a crazy way to wake up.

Dorcas awoke early the next morning, amazed at how she could sleep with the bright sun in her room and the birds in the tree outside her window making such a racket. She tossed for about ten minutes before she gave sleep up as a bad job and got up. Grabbing a scrunchie, she tossed her hair up, found a jacket and put it on, planning on going to the kitchen to get something to drink. She walked out her door to see Roxanne, fully dressed, walking down the hallway, a bag on her shoulder. "Roxanne? What are you doing?" She asked quietly.

Roxanne jumped and turned around to face her friend. "Dorcas, hey, nothing. What are you doing?"

Dorcas's eyes narrowed. "Are you leaving? Why on earth wouldn't you tell anyone?"

Roxanne sighed. "It's just getting a little too awkward and I think that it would be better for everyone if I just left."

Dorcas frowned. "Come on. Let's go to my room and talk." She grabbed Roxanne by the arm and led her to her room. She settled herself on the bed, and motioned for Roxanne to do the same. Roxanne sighed, put down her bag and joined her on the bed.

"Now tell me what's going on." Dorcas said curiously.

Roxanne sighed again. "I just gotta get out of here. Remus is... well he just likes me way to much, and if I wasn't here, he could focus on Marlene and see how much he likes her."

Dorcas frowned again. "That's not the answer Roxy. He won't just magically start liking Marlene because you are gone. Especially if you disappeared without telling anyone, he would be thinking about you even more."

Roxanne didn't know what to say, so she just shook her head. "Remus came into my room yesterday after everyone got back from the village to "check on me"." He ended up getting into bed with me and kissing me while I was asleep."

Dorcas's eyebrows shot up. "That doesn't sound like Remus."

"Exactly! I'm making him turn into some horndog teenager. Which is exactly why I need to get away from him." Roxanne said seriously.

Dorcas started laughing. Roxanne looked up at her confused. The last thing she wanted to do was laugh. "You really think that you are the one that is turning him into a horndog?" Dorcas asked, still chuckling. "Now, we do consider Remus the logical thinker of the Marauders, but the bottom line is that he is still a Marauder and not completely innocent. Don't blame his teenage hormones on your... prowess with the boys."

Roxanne was speechless. She never really thought about it like that. Was she being that egotistical to think that it was her that was making Remus act the way he was, when it was probably just the fact that he was around pretty girls? She started chuckling too. "Have I been dumb or what? I really wanted it to be all about me." The two girls started laughing, and for a long time, they couldn't stop.

The next two days passed without to much incident, unless you counted Sirius finally beating James at chess and making sure that everyone chanted his name for a full five minutes. When the night before their departure arrived, James's mother made a huge dinner and everyone ate merrily and talked, forgetting all their troubles and just enjoying being together.

The next morning, Lily was the first to go. Her parents came to pick her up in their car, the purebloods of the group being particularly interested in that form of transportation. It made Dorcas glad to see that the week accomplished at least one thing; James and Lily could be in a room for more than five minutes without snapping at each other. Roxanne was the next to go. She carefully avoided a hug with Remus and just waved to him instead, stepping into the fire to floo home. Marlene left after that, doing the opposite of Roxanne and making sure she gave Remus and extra long hug. Remus's dad arrived about a half hour later and apparated home with him, leaving James with Sirius and Dorcas. James excused himself to go upstairs after saying goodbye to Dorcas, leaving her and Sirius to say goodbye.

"Come visit again?" Sirius asked her.

"I don't know if I'll be able to. I still have all my holiday work to do and my parents were talking about going to visit some family." She said honestly.

Sirius just nodded looking put out. "But hey, we'll have Hogwarts. I won't really be able to get away from you there." She told him with a wink.

Sirius smiled and laughed. "You'll figure out a way."

She laughed too. "I won't, because I just won't want to."

He smiled at her, then brought her closer, giving her a sweet kiss. "So I never go to tell you what I wanted."

Dorcas's stomach clenched. How could she stop it this time? "Maybe you shouldn't." She blurted out.

Sirius looked confused. "Why not?"

"Well, I dunno. But can I ask you a question first?" She asked quickly.

He nodded. "Oookay."

"If you told me what you want to tell me, would you expect an answer?"

Sirius looked even more confused at that. "Well... kinda. Yes."

She shook her head sadly, not really knowing where her doubts were coming from. "Okay, then maybe you shouldn't."

"Why?"

"Just because I don't know if I'll be able to give you an answer you'll like"

Sirius looked upset. "Fine. Then I won't tell you." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "I hope you have a great rest of the summer. Have fun with your holiday homework."

Dorcas put a hand on his chest. "You're mad. Please don't be mad at me."

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not mad at you Dorcas, I just don't really understand."

She nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I just need a little more time."

He nodded too. "Okay. Then I won't pressure you. When you're ready, say it." He smiled. "I'll miss you Dorcas."

She smiled too, relief flooding her body. "I'll miss you too. You don't know how much this means to me. Thank you for being the best boyfriend ever."

He beamed. "Well, I do try."

She laughed. "I'll see you soon. Let me know when you plan to go to Diagon Alley to get your things for school and I'll most likely meet you there."

"Sound's great," he nodded. "I'll write."

Leaning into him, she gave him a long kiss. When they broke apart, she smiled at him again, then got into the fireplace and flooed home.