Today in Video Productions class I mapped out this whole story. So be excited, guys, 'cause I have an ending!

This isn't it though.

You have to bear with me.

I love your reviews soooooo much, they make my day!

Again: CP Coulter. Owns. These. People.

Chapter 8

"BECAUSE YOU OWE IT TO HIM!"

Julian sat up in bed the next morning to a sunny day and shouts from downstairs. Apparently, Logan was in a mood, and didn't care if Julian overheard him. Or maybe the possibility just never occurred to him.

Either way, there Julian was, in the room directly above Derek and Logan, who were yelling at each other.

Julian stayed completely still, listening with all his might.

"Owe it to him? Why? Why the hell would I owe him anything? He never told me anything!" Logan yelled back.

"He couldn't!"

"Why not?"

"You don't understand the kind of stress the poor boy was under?" Derek's voice started to get quieter, so Julian slipped out of bed and into the hall, where he could hear the voices of his two best friends up the stairs.

"He's a movie star. Half his talent is sex appeal – I'm sorry, but you know it's true, Lo, you know it is – if he was gay, and ended up with a boyfriend, people would be relentless. It would be terrible. His fame would be right out the window, and honestly, Lo, what else has he got?"

"He'd have me!" Logan shouted.

"He would. He would, you're right, but did you ever actually look at him twice?"

"Yes."

"And then again?"

"…"

"Right, because you were always busy looking at other boys and chasing after people to see that Julian was in love with you!"

The world tilted under Julian. The off-white walls around him started spinning, and he dropped to the ground on his knees before he fell.

Julian was in love with you. You were always busy looking at other boys.

He remembered that.

Blaine.

Kurt.

He remembered.

He was five, his face was on the cover of a magazine at the supermarket; he was six, eating chocolate ice cream while people took his picture; he was seven, starring in a commercial; he was eight, learning to ride a bike; he was nine, memorizing lines; he was ten, being rejected by a big producer; he was eleven, being rejected again; he was twelve, being chased by paparazzi on his first official date; he was thirteen, being rejected again and again and again; he was fourteen, coming to Dalton; he was fifteen, falling in love with another boy; he was sixteen, watching that boy falling in love with another boy; he was seventeen, he was here, he was right here.

He wanted to shout, he wanted to run into the kitchen and tell Logan and Derek, he wanted to be happy, happy about remembering.

But then he remembered something else, something far more recent:

Logan wouldn't tell him what he'd told Logan.

Which was…

That he loved him.

Julian had told Logan that he loved him.

Julian's head was spinning again. What could he do? Logan knew. The only thing keeping them apart was the fact that Julian didn't know.

And that was a good thing; right?

Right?

Julian stood slowly and made his way back to his bedroom.

He couldn't be with Logan like that.

He just couldn't.

Derek was right; his fame would go down the tubes.

His life would be ripped apart.

And besides – Logan hadn't told him anything important. That was terrible. Why would he do something like that?

It didn't matter, though, because he had. He had kept Julian's own past a secret from Julian, and that didn't deserve reward.

Even while a fire of anger flared up in Julian for this, his heart still longed for Logan, still wanted him to just run out and, without regard to consequences, kiss Logan passionately all over his body.

But would Logan want that?

Yes. Yes, he would, of course he would, he'd been so flirty, he had to like Julian…like that.

But why?

Why so all of a sudden, and why the change?

Was it because he knew that Julian liked him?

Was he happy that, for once, someone actually liked him back?

Julian's head pounded, his heart pounded, because he knew that he couldn't let anyone know. He had to keep the fact that he remembered a secret; he couldn't tell Logan that he remembered everything, or else Logan would want to get on with it all and be in love mutually for the first time in either of their lives.

It wouldn't be easy.

But it was the only way to give himself some time to think.

"You're up late," was Logan's greeting when Julian finally arrived in the kitchen, fully dressed. He'd spent the past hour remembering things, and now he was ready for his biggest acting job yet.

"Yeah. I dreamt…I dreamt about some tigers that were eating me," he said, hoping he sounded pitiful enough and scared and confused about life.

Logan looked at him strangely. "That's interesting," he said.

"It is. And there were people yelling too…" There was a mean glint in Julian's eye as he said this.

Logan's eyebrows shot up and he kicked Derek before Derek could say anything.

"So, what's for lunch?" Julian asked, walking around the island counter and standing next to Logan. Close, too close, but hey – he might as well enjoy this while he could.

Logan eyed him for a minute, Julian's elbow pushing up against Logan's forearm. Finally Logan said, "We've already had lunch, but we saved you some leftovers." He motioned to a piece of pizza.

Julian groaned. "This is the third day in a row we've had pizza for lunch."

"And you're loving it," Logan said, nudging Julian. "Right?"

Julian rolled his eyes. "I've never liked pizza," he said sadly.

"You don't know that," Logan said, cutting his eyes toward Julian quickly, noticing Julian's mistake.

"It's just a guess, relax." Julian picked up the plate and began to eat the pizza.

"No, if you hate it so much, we can just find something else," Logan said suddenly, breaking away from where he'd been slowly edging closer and closer to Julian. As he opened the fridge and peered in, Julian saw Derek look at him in a knowing way.

Julian put a finger to his lips and gave Derek a pleading gaze.

After a moment, Derek opened his mouth. Julian wanted to tackle him and make him shut up, but then Derek said, "What should we do this afternoon?"

So Derek was on his side.

Julian knew that he'd always been – he had known Julian loved Logan.

Here, in this kitchen, as Logan handed Julian a box of frozen waffles and told him that he could have them if he wanted, all of Julian's dreams were coming true.

So why did Logan himself have to have ruined it all?

Why couldn't he just have told Julian about what he'd told him, about how he didn't know that Julian loved him, but how Julian had used what he thought was his last breath to tell Logan that he loved him?

This could have been perfect.

But it wasn't.