Authors note: Sorry it has been a while…I just felt a little stuck, but this chapter has been written and re-written a few dozen times, lol. But all in all I am happy with this. Read and review, it is always appreciated. I hope you enjoy….
"Are you ok," he asked as he kissed her hand.
"Yeah," she smiled as she looked at him. She was more than ok. For the first time in a while Brooke was good. "I love you," she whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. The sunlight was shining through the shades on the bedroom window and he loved how happy she looked.
"I love you," he said pushing her hair out of her face.
"I should probably get dressed," she chuckled, "I am betting my son is going to wake up any minute and I don't think I want him walking in on this," she smiled as she sat up holding the sheet around her.
"Ok," Lucas said as he laid there watching her. He loved Brooke Davis. He always had, and in his heart he knew he always would. Their past was rocky, of course there were bumps along the way as in any other relationship. But, times like this, he was grateful for their bumps. He had his beautiful daughter and she had her son. Yes, it broke his heart walking her down the aisle to marry Julian, but he did it for her.
"What's going on in that head of yours Mr. Scott," she asked as she sat back down on the edge of the bed dressed.
"I was just thinking about how we got here," he said with a smile, "how I got to be the luckiest man in the world."
"You are pretty lucky, huh," she asked as they kissed. She could tell something was off. Last night had been amazing for her, finally being with Lucas, finally letting herself feel that was so much more than she imagined. But, times like this were when she second guessed it. She wondered if she truly was enough for him. "I think Davis and I are gonna go visit Sylvia for a week or so," she said.
"Oh," Lucas said confused as he got dressed.
"I just think it's a good time, you know," she said fidgeting a little, "we haven't been since," she paused thinking about the last time she was in L.A. with her son. When Lucas was in a near death accident that almost crushed her, "September and this is June so…"
"Hey," he said as he pulled her up, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, "it's good for you guys, and I'll be here Brooke. I am not going anywhere." She rested her head against his chest with her eyes closed, this was how she wanted to be, happy with the man she loved.
"Mamma," Davis said opening the door to his mother's bedroom, "I want cereal."
"Ok buddy," Brooke said with a smile.
"Come here munchkin," Lucas said picking the almost four year old boy up, he started tickling him. "I love you," Lucas whispered in her ear as he and Davis made their way to the kitchen. She followed and watched as Lucas got two bowls and the cereal for them. She loved them more than anything, this was her world. She watched as Davis ran to his room coming back to Lucas with a smile on his small face.
"Today is Father's Day," Davis said handing Lucas the blue card her had made with Grace, Brooke stood watching them from the doorway of her kitchen.
"Thanks buddy," Lucas said kneeling down in front of the boy, "I love it, Davis."
"I love you," Davis said as he wrapped his arms around Lucas' neck, "you're the bestest."
"I love you too buddy," Lucas said as he kissed the top of Davis' head, "I always will."
"Hey," he said wrapping his arms around her as she stood in the doorway of Davis' bedroom watching him play.
"Hey," she smiled.
"You ok," he asked knowing she had been distant all day. This was the one thing that scared him, the one fear he always had in the back of his mind. He knew that last night was amazing, special, everything they needed, but he also knew she would pull away and that killed him.
"Yeah, I'm fine, Lucas," she sighed as she pulled away and walked towards the living room.
"You're not, Brooke, I know you," he said following her, "I know something is going on inside your head right now and I really want you to talk to me. Was last night too much, was it too soon, if you're not ready Brooke," he sighed not willing to admit that he'd be ok with that because he truthfully didn't know if his heart could take that, "was last night a mistake Brooke?"
"What would you like me to say Lucas?"
"Brooke, look at me, talk to me," he said as she picked up a magazine from her coffee table and started thumbing through the pages. "Fine," he sighed watching her, "I'm going, when, or if you want to talk call me."
"Whatever," she sighed as he walked out slamming the door behind him. She immediately wiped her eyes. Why did she let him go? She cursed herself mentally as she heard his car pull away.
"Mamma," Davis said as he walked in the living room holding his basketball.
"Hey buddy," she smiled wiping away her tears.
"Did Uncle Lucas leave me," he asked sadly.
"No baby," she said as she pulled her son on to her lap, "he just had some stuff to do, ok," Davis nodded his head, "Uncle Lucas loves you."
"Ok mamma," Davis said softly nearly breaking her heart. It was times like this when she hated herself. She knew pushing Lucas away wasn't right, but in her heart there was always the insecure girl who wasn't enough for him.
"You want to watch a movie or something buddy," she asked, Davis nodded, "ok, go get one from your room ok and we'll watch it."
"Ok mamma," he said as he ran towards his room.
"Hey it's Brooke," she said into the phone as her go to person answered.
"Hey, Brooke," she smiled at the sound of the younger brunettes voice, she noticed the silence, "Brooke, are you ok?"
"I don't know Karen," she sighed as she wiped away her tears, "I don't know."
"Is everything ok, Davis, is he alright?"
"Yeah, yeah," she said, "it's me, I screwed up, Karen and I don't know what I am supposed to do."
"Ok, Brooke, talk to me, honey, we'll figure out whatever it is."
"I don't know how to do this," she said, "I mean how do I let go of Julian and move on, and how do I not feel bad for it, and guilty?"
"Oh honey," Karen said wishing she were there to wrap her arms around the young woman she thought of as a daughter, "you will figure it out, Brooke, you are so strong and brave, and you will figure it out honey."
"I love him," she said.
"I know honey, and he knows that too," she said talking about her son. She and Lucas had talked about his feelings for Brooke, she knew her son would do anything for Brooke and Davis. They were his world along with Sawyer. And she knew after Brooke's confession in that hospital hallway that she loves Lucas just as much. She had never told Lucas about that, as Brooke made her promise she wouldn't, and sometimes she wished she could. But in her heart she could never betray Brooke like that, because she too remembered how broken Brooke was all those years ago when Lucas and Peyton got together, when they got married and Sawyer was born. "I know it's hard, honey, I do. I have been there, and trust me it is not easy to let go of where you've been, but honey you can't live in the past, Julian would not want that for you. You and Lucas remind me so much of me and Keith, Brooke, I see the way you two are and the way you are with Davis, and the one thing I can tell you is don't wait Brooke. If you love him like I know you do, don't wait. Don't let time run out on you," Karen said sadly. "The funny thing is that Lucas is your Keith, honey, but he is your Andy too and I cannot imagine how hard it is for you."
"I loved Julian," she said wiping her eyes, not wanting her son to see her this way, "he was my husband and I loved him so much, but Lucas is…"
"You can love them both."
"I'm afraid too, I think. I want to move on, and god knows that I want Lucas in my life, but he scares me," she sighed, "with Lucas it's different, even different from Julian, it always has been. He makes me vulnerable, and he makes me want to be more, and he makes me laugh like nobody else, and he makes me feel safe, but then I remember how he has hurt me. And that is the thing I don't know if I can ever let go of, that pain and anger, that hurt, that was worse than anything I've ever dealt with. I know losing Julian was so hard, but I had all of you, and I had Lucas."
"You still do, Brooke, we are all here for you, and that includes my son. I know Lucas hasn't always made the right choices, but what he's done these past few years," Karen sighed, "he is Keith's son in every way that matters, and I know that being with you, Brooke it is what he wants, otherwise he wouldn't be there. I used to try and convince myself that Keith stayed because he felt bad for me, for Dan leaving me, that he was obligated, but the truth is he wanted to be there as much as I wanted him there. And the saddest part is that it took me so long to see it, to actually accept it, that I missed out on all of those years, of being with him and I don't want that for you honey, or Lucas, or Davis and Sawyer."
"I don't want to miss a thing," she said honestly, "I want to be with him, I do."
"Then you tell him that," Karen said softly, "you do know where he is, right?"
"Yeah, I know."
"Mamma," Davis said sadly as he looked at his mother who just got off the phone.
"Hey buddy, I was thinking about something, you wanna go somewhere real quick?"
"Yeah," he smiled, "can we go see Uncle Lucas, he promised we'd play basketball today."
"I think we can," she smiled.
Brooke stood at Julian's grave. The place she needed to go before she saw Lucas again. The hardest thing she needed to do. She placed a red rose on the headstone and wiped away a tear from her cheek, "I love you Julian, I do, but I love him too and I need him now, Davis and I both do," she said. She placed a kiss on her fingers and then placed them on the picture of Julian that was in his headstone, "I will always love you," she said quietly. She had dropped Davis off with Clay and Quinn because she knew her Naley family was celebrating Fathers Day, and Clay was more than happy to look after Davis for her.
Karen was right, they both knew where he'd be. She walked towards him, his back to her, she could tell he didn't hear her as he spoke, "Keith, I miss you, so much. God, I think I am going insane today. I can't do anything right, Keith. I let Peyton take my daughter to Savannah, I let Brooke push me away. I can't even be mad at her, because the truth is that I walked out, I left her there, and that kills me. I'm Dan, that scares me, that I am becoming him. I am letting go of everything that matters and by the time I try to fix it is going to be too late, I am so afraid that I am going to lose them forever, Sawyer and Brooke and Davis."
"You're not losing any of us," she said softly as she walked closer to him. "I'm sorry Luke," she said as she wrapped her arms around him, "I'm sorry if you ever thought that."
"Brooke," he said as he pulled her close to him, he had tears streaming his face as she looked up at him.
"I'm sorry," she said as she looked up at his tear stained face, she wiped his cheek, "I love you Luke. There is nowhere in this world that I want to be but with you," she smiled at him, "and our kids. I want to do this for real, us, and I can't promise that I won't make mistakes along the way, but I want to try, Luke."
"Brooke, if you're not ready, if you need time," he was saying as she placed her finger over his mouth.
"No, Luke, don't do that ok? I have had too much time, we've wasted so much time because I am scared, and god, Luke I don't want to do that anymore. I told you once that I wanted you to fight for me, and god knows that is what you have been doing these past few years, I was just to blind to see it or too afraid. Luke, I'm here and I wanna fight for this, for you and me, for us. I don't want to be scared anymore, I don't want to wake up one day and realize too much time has passed, I don't to lose you like your mom lost him," she said looking at Keith's headstone.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said as he kissed the top of her head, "I'm never going anywhere without you Brooke Davis. You are not going to lose me because Brooke, this, it's where I want to be, it's where I've always, always wanted to be."
"Ok," she said with a slight smile, knowing things were not going to be easy for them, but knowing that it was worth it because she couldn't imagine her life without Lucas Scott. "So I was thinking we can go get Davis at Clay's and take a little road trip," she said as they stood wrapped in each others arms.
"Where to," he asked.
"Savannah," she said softly, knowing he wanted to be with his daughter too.
"That sounds perfect," he said grabbing her hand, "I love you pretty girl," he smiled as he pushed her hair from her face, "let's get outta here."
"Give me a second," she said as he looked at her confused, "I'll be right there," she said.
"Ok," he said as he started walking towards his car, "I'll wait for you."
"Thank you," she said softly as she placed her hand on Keith's headstone. "Thank you for making him the man he is today, Keith, for giving me this amazing man in my life that I love so much. I promise I'll take care of him, Keith, that I will love him, because I do, I always have. I owe you for so much in my life right now and I wish I could see you, that he could see you one last time. God, sometimes I feel like it was my fault you went in that school that day," she sighed, "but that is who you were, and I know that because that is who he is too and that is something I love about him so much. I miss you Keith, and I know they do too, so keep watching over them ok? Lily is so amazing, so much like Lucas, so beautiful and caring. They are who they are today because of you. I've got to go, but there is one more thing I need to say, and maybe you can't hear me, but I like to think you can so I am going to say it. Thank you for showing me that life is worth living Keith Scott, and most of all thank you for showing me that people who are meant to be always find their way in the end," she said with a smile as she looked towards Lucas who was leaning against his Mustang, "because I know now that I am where I'm meant to be."
I think this could be the end, but I am not sure this is where I leave it? I am thinking one more chapter, a jump in time to show how things end up? Maybe more chapters first to tie everything together? I don't know, what do you think?