Sorry it took a little while…But yeah, here I am!

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All these characters remain CP Coulter's…

Chapter 10

Hazy green eyes stared back at Julian across the table. Children were screaming and babbling. Sunlight was filling the air with visible pieces of dust. The aroma of coffee and donuts was strong.

"Someone say something."

A voice from the left.

Julian turned his gaze slowly to see Derek sitting impatiently next to Logan.

"I'm just trying to figure out. Do people with amnesia always turn into such huge asses, or is that just Julian?" Logan's heart wasn't in the insult, Julian could tell, because he'd begun taking his pills again and now his heart wasn't in anything.

"Julian is not an ass," Derek said for the fifteenth time that day. "I don't know what he did to you, but you need to just get over it because I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"Yeah." Logan swirled his coffee with the stirrer. "He didn't mean any of it." His movements were slow and he looked fuzzy around the edges. Or was that just Julian's eyes filling up with salt water, like they had so many times in the past few days.

"I'm sorry," Julian said again, and again and again and again but did it matter? Did it make a difference? He'd screwed up. Big time. And he didn't know what to do about it.

"No," Logan held up a hand. "Save it." Staring at something out the window, he stood up slowly, carefully, like he was holding an egg balanced on a spoon. "I'm going back to the house. See you both later."

He sauntered out of the café, looking down at the floor. He had the appearance of someone who'd undergone major heartbreak. Julian was starting to think he had. Had Julian underestimated Logan's feelings for him?

Probably. Because Julian was an idiot.

"Okay." Derek's voice pulled Julian back to reality, and that was a place that Julian really didn't want to be. "What did you do to him? I haven't seen him this upset since…I've never seen him this upset."

"He's not upset," Julian said desperately, willing it to be true.

"He is, he never takes the medication on his own. Wow, either you really don't remember anything, or you're thick." Derek shook his head. "I guess you're not going to tell me."

"I was stupid," Julian said, head in his hands.

"So what's new?" Derek grinned, but stopped when he realized that Julian wasn't in the mood and it really wasn't a time for grinning, anyway.

"I have to go," Julian said abruptly, standing up quickly and whacking his knees on the table. His coffee spilled a little, and he wiped it off the table with his hand before turning and striding out of the restaurant.

How could he have been such an idiot? He'd really screwed up. He had really thought that the only way to help things was to convince Logan that he was straight. But that was like the time he'd decided that the best way to get a role in a huge movie was be late to his audition. He hadn't gotten the role and now he'd completely screwed up any possible relationships with Logan.

The ocean lapped at his feet as he walked through the sand, the night was falling, and Julian didn't want to go home. He couldn't see Logan this way. He couldn't bear seeing Logan medicated and numb because of the pain that Julian had caused. It was like walking in hell, knowing that he brought about that hell.

He had to tell the truth. He had to go home right now and tell Logan exactly what had happened, even though it was stupid and he didn't really have a good reason for what he'd done. Logan might not believe him…

Logan's face appeared in Julian's mind, his green hazy eyes, his deep set sadness, and Julian knew that this was not the Logan that was real. The real Logan was hard to get to, and rarely showed himself. But he was the best Logan, he was the reason Julian had fallen in love with Logan in the first place.

"Logan, do you have the History note-AUGH!" Julian jumped, screaming, and the blonde doubled over laughing. "What are you doing?" Julian shouted.

"Scaring you," Logan managed through his laughter.

"By jumping out at me like that?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I've never seen you scared and I wanted to know what you looked like when you were scared." He feigned a serious expression. "Now, tell me. Did you pee your pants?"

"Derek, just hold still." Logan grabbed Derek's arm and held tight. "Oh, wow, you are ripped, dude." He ran his hand up and down Derek's arm. "What do you press, 250?"

Derek sniffed, not amused. "No." He allowed a smile. "240."

"Okay, arm wrestling match, right here, right now." Logan propped his hand on the lunch table in an arm wrestling pose, and Derek did the same. They wrestled, Julian cheering them on.

Derek won, but Logan pretended he had won and turned to Julian, saying, "You didn't know I was so strong, did you?"

Logan struck a pose, his hand on his hip, turning slowly so that Julian could examine the jacket.

"Very nice," Julian said, clapping politely.

"I hate these suits my dad makes me wear," Logan said, pulling at his hair.

"Then don't wear them," Julian replied calmly.

"Don't wear them?" Logan repeated, as though the idea had never even occurred to him.

"Yeah. Who says you have to do everything your dad says?"

"I don't do everything my dad says!" Logan exclaimed, suddenly sounding distraught. "I'm not straight, but my dad tells me to be."

Julian nodded. "It's a start…"

Logan looked infuriated. "What do you mean, It's a start?"

"Don't wear the jacket, wear jeans and a t-shirt," Julian said.

A grin slowly crept across Logan's face as he considered this.

"Yeah. I'll wear jeans and a t-shirt." He was smiling ear to ear. "Senator Wright's Gay Son Shows Up To Banquet In Jeans and a T-shirt." He practically jumped with joy – the joy of defying a father whom he hated so much.

Logan hoisted himself out of the pool, dripping with water and smelling very much like chlorine. "Hey. Julian. Towel?"

Julian looked up over his magazine, where he'd been reading an article that was supposedly about him but really wasn't at all.

"Listen to this," he said instead, and Logan rolled his eyes and headed to his chair to get his towel himself. "Julian Larson-Armstrong is reportedly having a love affair with both Olsen Twins." He laughed.

"Seriously?" Logan turned to him, green eyes twinkling. "Are you really? Okay, tell me honestly…are they any good in bed, or are twins just an overblown fantasy?"

"You wouldn't care if two girls were better than one, you'd rather have boys," Julian replied coolly.

"Does that mean I can't appreciate sex?" Logan asked. "I bet in my whole life I'll have way more than you can ever even dream of." He poked Julian's arm and smiled.

"Oh, yeah, right," Julian said. "You forget I'm a product of Hollywood. I have booze and boobs at my fingertips all night long."

"Yes, and I go to an all boys school, where being gay is a clear advantage over being straight. Besides, Mr. Awkward, you haven't been to Hollywood in a long time." But he was smiling, and Julian, even then, couldn't be angry at that smile.

Julian had shut the real Logan up, and the real Logan was trapped. Julian had to tell the truth. He had to at least try. He missed Logan too much, and not this medicated Logan, but the real Logan, the one that showed when Logan thought no one was looking.