CP Coulter owns the characters.

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Chapter 12

The ferris wheel spun overhead, screams could be heard from the mini-rollercoaster, games dingdingdinged as the winners screamed with delight, little kids cried for ice cream, cotton candy, and soda, water lapped at the pillars of the pier, feet hit the boards, the sun sunk into the ocean.

"This is fun." Kristin was wearing a hot pink tank top that was 3 sizes too small for her. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, and her big purple sunglasses were acting as a headband.

"I agree." Logan was wearing a black t-shirt that said Ohio Show Choir Champions on it and had the word WARBLERS printed across the back in big white letters.

"I'm so glad we could do this." Derek was wearing no shirt and swim trunks. His aviator sunglasses made it very hard to tell whether he was looking directly at the person he was talking to or whether he was staring at Kristin's butt.

"…" Julian was wearing a white t-shirt that hugged his chest very nicely and showed off his abs. He'd had to buff up for a movie he'd done a year or so ago in which he needed to spend quite a bit of time shirtless, and had never quiet lost his six pack.

Julian hoisted the large stuffed bear he was carrying into a more comfortable position over his shoulder. He'd been forced to carry it for Kristin after Logan won it for her. And Logan had only won it because Julian cheated for him.

Derek grabbed a handful of the cotton candy Kristin was eating, and Kristin playfully – flirtatiously – slapped him on the arm.

Julian caught Logan staring at him with those hazy green eyes, and looked away quickly.

"You know," Logan said, "Julian loves roller coasters."

Julian glared at him, and was about to say that no, he didn't, but then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to know whether he did or not.

"I don't think they seem like much fun," Julian said across Derek and Kristin. He and Logan had stayed as far away from each other as possible all night.

"You love them!" Logan exclaimed. "Come on, let's go." He grabbed Kristin's hand and started leading her toward the bright green rollercoaster. It was supposed to be a sea serpent, and in addition to plunging off the pier and heading directly toward the water before straightening up at the very last minute, it did three loops and a 100 foot drop.

Derek looked long at Julian before the two of them followed.

The line was long, and it gave Julian plenty of time to make excuses: "I really don't think roller coasters seem like fun." "Are you sure I like roller coasters?" "I just ate." "I don't like sea serpents." "I have to pee." "I just remembered something I left at the game booth."

It was to no avail.

They got into the cars. Logan insisted on sitting with Julian, and Kristin and Derek didn't seem to mind sitting with each other. Julian clutched the seat frantically. He hated roller coasters. He avoided them like the plague. He never threw up, but he hated the stomach churning feeling they gave him, and the fact that he was completely out of control, and—

He screamed when the roller coaster took off, and screamed throughout the whole 2 minute ride.

Logan laughed, looking at Julian with hazy eyes that didn't feel anything. It was a show. His emotions were all a show. He wasn't really happy. He wasn't really sad. He wasn't really heartbroken. He wasn't really anything.

"I hate you." Julian's legs were shaky as they got off the ride.

"The feeling is mutual." Logan wasn't looking at Julian's face, though, his eyes were roaming emotionlessly over Julian's chest.

"Lo? My face is up here." Julian, without thinking, put his hand on Logan's chin and pulled it upward gently. Logan's eyes slowly roamed upward until they were looking straight at Julian, and Julian thought he saw a flicker of something in Logan's eyes. He couldn't tell what it was, and it was over in a flash. "Thought you were straight," he said, again without thinking.

Derek and Julian had pointedly not said anything about Logan and Kristin and the fact that Logan was gay as the Fourth of July. They hadn't said anything about his medication. They'd been completely silent on everything of importance.

"I am. I'd never lie about my sexuality." These words should have been accompanied by a biting tone, one that cut through the air like Excalibur. But there was emptiness in the words.

"What about sex?" Kristin asked, bounding up to them once she'd gotten out of her car.

"You're great at it," Logan said emotionlessly, pecking her cheek.

Kristin giggled.

Julian rolled his eyes at Derek, who rolled his own back.

"I'm getting tired," Julian said loudly.

"Hey!" Kristin exclaimed, looking at Julian as though for the first time. "You look really really familiar."

"You're quick, nothing much gets by you," Julian deadpanned. Logan snorted, but turned it into a cough.

"No, seriously. You're, uh, oh God, you're on that tv show." Kristin looked to Logan for help.

"Grant. Something Damaged," Logan offered.

"Right. Yeah. I hate that show." Kristin smiled as though this was a compliment. "I watch every episode though. But Jersey Shore is a lot better."

"Ah." Julian nodded slowly, not quite sure how to respond to this.

Logan was looking at Julian emptily, his gaze holding nothing.

"Anyway, um." Derek jumped in to save Julian. "He's been in other stuff."

"Oh?" Kristin looked bored. "I don't really watch tv or movies. Kind of boring."

Logan was still looking at Julian, but his eyes had nothing in them at all – no love, no happiness, no heartbreak. Julian wanted so badly to pull him aside and tell him everything, but Logan needed time to be with Kristin, to make mistakes, and to experiment. It was important. Julian had spent the past 3 years doing it. And besides, Julian needed time himself. To figure out how exactly to tell Logan.

"Hey. Logan." Kristin turned to Logan. "I love you."

Julian's eyes widened, his heart began to race, he waited for Logan's response. Logan tore his gaze away from Julian and fixed it on Kristin instead.

There was a moment where the silence was on fire, and then Logan said robotically, as though his heart was iced over and he was completely numb, "This isn't working out, Kristin. I'm sorry, but go have hot and violent sex with someone else. I don't swing your way."

Kristin blinked at him. "You don't…swing my way? What? We aren't talking about basketball."

Logan looked past her at Julian. "It means I'm in love with someone else." Still robotic, but this time with less numbness. It was like there was feeling there trying to push through the medicine-induced haze.

"Oh." Kristin smiled. "Well, that's okay. I am too." She turned to Derek, kissed him suddenly, and then ran away.

Julian stared at Logan. "You and I…need to talk." He shifted the bear on his shoulder again, before turning around and handing it to a little girl in a sundress. "Here, have this." She looked delighted and thanked him. He smiled at her, his movie star smile, and she skipped away with a bear two times her size. "So tomorrow, don't you dare take your pills, and I'll meet you on the beach at 1."

Julian walked away slowly, and Logan stared after him for a long time, even after his view was obstructed by happy carnival goers.