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Also as ALWAYS, everyone in this story belongs to CP Coulter.
Chapter 14
A siren blared in the distance as Logan held open the door of the police station for Julian. Julian stepped through, feeling numb. This must be what Logan felt like when he was on his medication. Julian had spent an hour talking to police officers, and Logan had spent the same hour yelling at police officers about how they had to just kill that little…
Well, what he'd told the police officers wasn't really worth repeating, and if Julian hadn't dragged him from the examining room then he would've been at it all night.
As it was, Adam was behind bars and ready for trial. Julian wasn't quite sure what else Logan was hoping for.
"You don't really want them to kill-" he started as they stepped into the blazing sunshine.
"Of course I do!" Logan exclaimed. "He wanted to…" He couldn't bring himself to say it, to give words to what had almost happened.
"He didn't," Julian replied.
"He could've."
"You stopped him."
"If I hadn't been there…"
"You were there."
"If I hadn't been!"
"There's no point in talking about ifs, Lo. The past is past and you can't-"
Logan suddenly wheeled on Julian. They were stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and Julian had to grab Logan's shoulders and pull him over so that people wouldn't have to walk around them to get past.
"We were in the middle of a conversation, weren't we?" Logan demanded, green eyes flashing, though not necessarily from anger.
"Right. I believe you were yelling at me and telling me that I don't love you enough?" Julian raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to skip that part this time, or do you want to get back to that right away? I'd honestly be fine either way. Whatever you want, Oh Tempestuous One."
"You were about to explain why you never told me you were in love with me," Logan countered.
"Ah, right after you told me why you didn't tell me I was in love with you."
"That makes no sense."
"Shut up, it makes perfect sense." Julian stood and waited.
"Okay, so what if I gave you a…oh, God, what is that stupid animal? Oh, right, a hedgehog. If I gave you a hedgehog and said, 'Oh, and by the way, it's blind.' Then you'd of course notice that it's blind and you'd be like, 'Oh, shit, my useless animal is blind. What the hell, Logan?' But if I didn't tell you it was blind, then you'd never know because hedgehogs don't do anything, and you'd just be like, 'Oh, yay, Logan got me a hedgehog!' or whatever. And you'd learn to love the stupid thing normally, rather than loving it because it's blind and you feel bad for it. Does that make sense?"
"Hedgehogs are not useless," Julian said, covering for the fact that he had no idea what Logan was talking about.
Logan ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, like, if I'd told you that you loved me, you'd love me because you felt obligated. If you fell in love with me naturally, then sure, whatever, you'd live a happy life with your hedgehog and you'd never have to know it's blind."
"What are you, Jesus?"
Logan's eyes flashed again, this time definitely in an angry way. "You get it."
"Yeah."
"So? Are you going to just stand there or are you going to forgive me?"
"I'd rather you'd just told me the hedgehog was blind, because that way I could help it through its life and it wouldn't just be blind and I'd never even know. It would suffer."
Logan looked at Julian for a long, long time. "You suffered?"
Julian didn't respond for a moment, then said, "Of course I did. But I suffered a lot before that, I'm used to it, don't beat yourself up over it. Also, this parable thing is really terrible, because I can't be represented by myself and the hedgehog."
Logan ignored this. "Now, you. Why would you never tell me that you loved me?"
"How could I?"
"It's easy."
"No, it really isn't. I wasn't out. Hell, Logan, I'm still not out! I couldn't just…you have to just understand, okay? Please? If you love me?"
"If I love you?" Logan repeated, seething. "If I love you? I wrestled a freaking gun out of some psycho's hands for you."
"I kissed the same psycho for you."
Logan considered for a long, silent moment.
"Are we even?" Julian asked, breaking the quiet between them.
"Maybe."
"Maybe what?"
"It really depends."
"Depends on what?"
"Depends on how good a kisser you are...when you aren't being a total ass."
Logan leaned forward and Julian met him halfway. Their foreheads were pressed together, they stared into each other's eyes, each asking a permission they didn't dare say out loud. Receiving it, their lips met and they kissed. Rain started to pelt them, a sudden summer storm, but neither of them cared.
Logan pulled away after a moment. "It also depends on if you're willing to put up with me – without medication."
"It depends on if you're willing to put up with me … just, all the time."
"What the hell do you think I've been doing the past three years?"
"And what the hell do you think I've been doing the past three years?"
Their lips collided again, each of them flawed and hard to deal with and annoying 99% of the time. Neither of them cared, though.