Back to the dream Chapter 6, a dallas fanfic

JR and Sue Ellen's Room

The day of their holiday arrived quicker than they expected. JR woke early and looked down at a sleeping Sue Ellen; he smiled as he watched her, gently placing his hand on her stomach…wondering what was happening inside her. He was looking forward to watching this pregnancy develop and being part of it. He was determined that he would give both Sue Ellen and John Ross his undivided attention from now on. He suddenly thought about the nursery they were planning to decorate….perhaps when they get back from holiday he could ask Clayton to help him that's if they decided to stay at Southfork. His thoughts turned back to when he had been small and his grandfather had been alive; he had loved the ranch…spent hours outside in the fields watching his grandfather work; riding the horses around the ranch…sometimes spending the day fishing…part of him didn't want to leave but he knew that when anything happened to his momma the ranch would go to Gary and he couldn't bear the thought of being forced off it by his own brother. He needed to talk to his mother but the words he needed to say just wouldn't come out…why was it that the only person who understood him was Sue Ellen? When he was with her he didn't need to explain how he felt she seemed to know. He felt her stir in his arms so gently kissed her cheek. Slowly she opened her eyes

"Hi" she smiled "What time is it?"

"6.30 am" JR replied "Just think in twelve hours time we'll be in Florida"

"Yes and we need to get up and pack" Sue Ellen laughed "We kind of got distracted last night"

"That was your fault not mine!" JR said

"How do you work that one out" Sue Ellen asked

"Because if you weren't so beautiful I wouldn't have wanted to make love to you" he said "Then we would have got more packing done"

Sue Ellen laughed and kissed him "You're incorrigible!"

"I can't believe we're going on holiday" JR said "I can't believe I'm going to be spending two weeks in Disneyworld"

Sue Ellen laughed "What I'm going to enjoy most is watching you take the boys on all the rides…as I can't in my condition" she said

"We've never had a real holiday" JR said

"I know there are so many places I would have liked to visit…Paris, Venice, London, New York…" Sue Ellen said "You were just so involved with work that we never got around to it"

"We've never taken John Ross on holiday either" JR said

"John Ross is looking forward to this; he's so happy he's going to have his daddy around for three weeks without Ewing Oil as a distraction" Sue Ellen said

"We're going to have to make sure that we have a holiday every year" JR said

"That sounds good. Perhaps a beach holiday or something like that…but definitely a holiday where there's no distractions from work" Sue Ellen said

"Work will never be a distraction again….I mean even when I'm in the office I'm want to get back to you and John Ross. I don't know why but whenever I'm with you two I feel safe and not afraid to show the real JR Ewing" JR said

"And who is the real JR Ewing" Sue Ellen smiled

"I don't know" JR said "I guess someone who loves his family and needs to know that his family love him; I was thinking earlier about Grandpa and how I used to follow him around the ranch like a shadow. I loved him and I think he loved me but after he died I felt so alone…..I shut all emotions out, I couldn't deal with them….there are things I want to say to momma but she doesn't understand me…she just sees what everyone else sees…a man who will do anything to get what he wants. I need to know that she loves me even though I'm not Jock's son but she can't even tell me that. All I want now is to be a good husband and father….to give you the love you deserve and to give my all my children the love I felt deprived of. I don't want them to feel the loneliness and rejection that I've felt over the years."

Sue Ellen kissed him "JR….I don't know what's going on in Miss Ellie's mind but I'm sure she loves you and I'm sure your grandfather loved you too. This holiday is going to be so good for all of us; it will give you a chance to form a closer bond with your son and that's what I want more than anything. John Ross loves you he always has I remember one time after our divorce, you called round with some flowers and building blocks for John Ross…I lied and told you he was asleep however he was playing in the living room but as soon as he heard your voice…he was at the door. Do you remember the time after you were recovering from the shooting we were lying on the bed with John Ross between us and you were tickling him…I thought you were going to make him sick; anyway he got grouchy so I thought I'd put him to bed but he insisted that you did it. His first word was 'daddy'"

"I remember after he was born….I went alone to the hospital to visit him; you were having one of your dizzy spells. I stood at the window of the nursery watching him for about ten minutes before a nurse came and told me that I could go in and hold him. Part of me wanted to walk out but seeing him lying there alone touched me…all the anger I felt at him not being mine disappeared for that moment and I followed the nurse into the nursery. The baby was crying as I approached him but as soon as I looked down at him he stopped…I remember carefully picking him up not wanting to drop him and as I cradled him in my arms he drifted off to sleep. I think I sat in a chair with him for twenty minutes rocking him; desperately wanting to believe he was my son" JR said "Then when we went to pick him up from the hospital and the doctors told us that he'd been taken….I felt sick; I thought it may have been because of me that he had been kidnapped…I think it was then that I realized how much I loved him whether he was mine or not. I put on a show pretending that I didn't care about him….once he was home I never picked him up although a few times I crept into his room to watch him sleep….but I thought if I allowed myself to get to attached to him then one day he'd be taken away from me"

Sue Ellen looked at him and stroked his face "We should have had the paternity test done the moment he was born….although I didn't really need the proof to know who's son he was." She said

"I am so proud of him and I want him to know how much I love him" JR said "Lately we've spent so much time together whether it's doing homework; playing in the pool or just reading a bedtime story and I know what I've missed out on with my own father. I wish things had been different"

"I know sweetheart however maybe you didn't have a proper childhood but you can enjoy your son's starting with this trip to Disney" Sue Ellen said "Also when we're at the beach you can spend hours with him building sandcastles, making tunnels, collecting shells and just exploring….he'll love you spending time with him"

JR laughed "What about you?" he said

"Oh JR I love spending time with you….in fact all I've ever wanted was you." She said "We have to remember we've also got Christopher to look after…we need to make him feel part of our family too"

"How can you do that….knowing what Kristin did to you" JR asked

"Christopher was a victim in Kristin's games too…she used him to get money and when she died his own father carried on trying to blackmail Bobby. I was watching him the other week when the three of you were playing in the pool and I saw the look of sadness in his eyes when he saw you and John Ross fooling around…he misses Bobby so much which is why I wanted him to come on holiday with us….hopefully we can take his mind of his father" Sue Ellen said

"I'll try and make sure that I treat him the same way as John Ross" JR said

"I know you will…speaking of John Ross we better get up and check on him" Sue Ellen said "Pam's going to be here at 1.30pm to drive us to the airport"

JR kissed her "Okay" he said

After getting showered and dressed they wandered into their son's room to find it empty. They then walked downstairs and out onto the patio for breakfast.

"Hey…it's quiet out here….where is our son?" JR said

Sue Ellen smiled "I have a feeling he's over there" she said pointing to the barn. "Come on let's find out"

Hand in hand they walked towards the barn, as they drew closer they heard the sound of voices from inside. John Ross and Clayton had their backs to them and were discussing the cribs that Clayton were making. Sue Ellen and JR watched them for a moment before JR said.

"What time did you get up?"

John Ross swung round on hearing his father's voice "6 am, grandpa and I had breakfast together before we came out here to work on the cribs. He's going to let me help him paint them when I come back from holiday" he said

"Clayton it's a bit early to start work" JR said

"Couldn't sleep…so I thought I'd do a few hours work before I left of the Southern Cross" He said

"Well I'm going to get something to eat…John Ross don't forget you've got to pack your suitcase" JR said "That's if you still want to come on holiday with us"

John Ross looked at his father "Yeah…I'm coming…I'm going to make you go on the rides with me" he said

JR and Sue Ellen walked back to the patio "He reminds me of me when I used to help my grandpa" JR said "By the way when did he start calling Clayton 'grandpa'?"

"Only recently" Sue Ellen said "Not quite sure where that came from…but does it matter"

"No" JR said

After getting something to eat they sat down at the table. JR looked around him.

"It's so quiet around here these days" He said "Do you remember the old days with Lucy, you, me, Bobby, Pam and Momma and Daddy. There seemed so much activity in the mornings"

"Wonder where Miss Ellie is" Sue Ellen said

"Told you…killing the fatted calf" JR laughed

Miss Ellie stood at her balcony window watching the couple on the patio. At last they seemed so happy together. She desperately wanted to talk to JR but couldn't find the words she needed to say to him. Perhaps it was better if she kept out of their way this morning..she didn't want to spoil the start of their holiday. Her thoughts turned to Gary and although she was pleased that he was coming down for a visit part of her was sad because she knew how much JR was hurting because he thought she didn't love him as much as his brother…if only she could tell him the truth. One day soon she knew she would have to talk to him….unless she would lose him forever and she couldn't bear the thought of that. He was the one thing that connected her to Digger even after all these years…part of her loved him and there were times when she wished she had taken a chance on him; maybe JR's childhood would have been different.

After breakfast JR and Sue Ellen went back upstairs to start packing for their holiday. Within an hour Sue Ellen had managed to pack two suitcases full of clothes…JR looked at her and shook his head.

"Why do you need to take two suitcases?" He asked "We're only going on holiday for three weeks"

"I want to make sure that I've got everything I need" she laughed "Beside I've also got some of your clothes in here"

JR looked down at his suitcase which wasn't even half full "Don't supposed you'd help me with mine" he asked

Sue Ellen laughed "Men" she said shaking her head and walking over to where his suitcase was. JR sat on the bed and watched her as she walked into their closet and began searching through his clothes.

"Well you don't need to take any of your suits" she said

"It's going to be really hot" JR said, JR wandered into the closet and crept up behind her wrapping his arms tightly around her waist.

"JR!" she laughed "Stop it!"

JR began kissing her neck and let his hands wander down her body. Sue Ellen sighed in contentment; wishing that they could put off their packing until later but knowing that it had to be done.

"You know what I'm looking forward to" JR said

"I can guess" Sue Ellen laughed

"Making love to you on a deserted beach beneath a sky full of stars" JR said

Sue Ellen looked at him "I never took you as being a romantic" she said "And while we're doing that where will the boys be"

"Tucked up safe and sound in bed" JR replied "I've got our own personal island in the Seychelles where we wont be disturbed and we can also cross to the main island whenever we like"

"You've got it all planned" she laughed "However if we don't finish packing..we won't be going anywhere"

Reluctantly JR let go off her and started helping her pack the suitcase. Once they had their clothes sorted out they walked into John Ross' room to start getting his clothes ready.. Sue Ellen also picked out a few story books.

"He really does love books doesn't he" JR said

"He loves having a story read to him and I know he loves listening to the tapes I made for him" Sue Ellen said "I always felt comforted when I was a child by having a story read to me. Sometimes if there was a bad thunderstorm at night my daddy used to read to me until I fell asleep. I guess hearing his voiced soothed my fears"

"I think the only person who ever read me a story was my grandpa. Momma was always too busy and it wasn't really daddy's sort of thing." JR said

"Which is why I know you're a better father than Jock ever was. I've seen how you enjoy reading to your son and how much you love him." Sue Ellen said

"After our divorce; when he used to come and stay at Southfork…I used to read to him in our bed….he was only three but he used to love looking at bright pictures. Anyway he used to fall asleep and very often I used to let him stay there instead of moving him to his bedroom. I think I enjoyed having him close to me; it also felt like you were close too" JR said

"The more we talk about the old days the more I wished we had opened up to each other. Maybe we would have reached this point sooner" Sue Ellen said

"I guess Bobby's death made me think of my own life and what I wanted. In the beginning I thought it was Mandy and John Ross but after seeing how you managed to get your life back together again and seeing you at work at Graysons' I realized it was you that I wanted. When you started going out with Jerry Kenderson I feared that I would lose you…he treated you so much better than I ever had. But I made a promise to John Ross that I was going to do everything in my power to make us a real family again" JR said "Now I regret all the bad times…the hell I put you through…the other women; who meant nothing and most of all the nights we spent apart."

Sue Ellen smiled "Well those days are gone….you will never lose me JR; there's a part of me that is yours and always has been" she said

"Can I ask you something?" JR said

"What" Sue Ellen asked

"How do you feel about me not being JR Ewing" he asked

"You're still JR Ewing" she said "But if you mean how do I feel about you being Digger's son and not Jock's…well it doesn't bother me…I didn't marry the name I married the man I loved. I feel sad that it's caused you so much heartache but to be honest nothing has changed for me. You are still the man I love; the only man I want to be with and the father of my children"

JR wrapped her in an embrace "I love you" he said "And to know that you love me is all I need"

"Hey let's finish this packing and go and see our son" Sue Ellen said

Meanwhile Clayton and John Ross had finished working on the cribs and were sat outside. Miss Ellie walked out bringing some drinks for them.

"Hey where have you two been" she asked

"We've been busy in the barn making cribs" John Ross said "Grandpa going to let me paint them when I come back from holiday"

"I said I'd let you help me paint them" Clayton laughed

"How many are you making" Miss Ellie asked

Clayton thought for a moment realizing that JR and Sue Ellen hadn't told her about the triplets. He hated the way things were between them these days. Ellie did her best to stay out of JR's way.

"Well I've gone a bit overboard….thought I might make a couple" Clayton said "Anyway I've got to go and get ready as I'm leaving in an hour"

"Bye" John Ross said

Miss Ellie sat down next to John Ross "So are you looking forward to you holiday?" she asked him

"Yes…Daddy's gong to take me on some of the rides…and we can also visit the Kennedy Space center…Christopher and me are going to have so much fun" he replied

"Are you looking forward to having a new baby brother or sister" Miss Ellie asked

"Momma says we're going to have three babies" John Ross replied "I'm going to help look after them"

So that was why Clayton was making more than one crib. Why had they told him and not her, did they hate her that much; had she really driven JR away. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car coming up the drive. The car stopped and Pam and Christopher got out.

"Hi grandma" Christopher said "Hi John Ross"

"Hi Sweetheart" Miss Ellie replied "Hi Pam"

"Hi Miss Ellie are Sue Ellen and JR ready" Pam asked

Just at that moment JR and Sue Ellen came out. JR piled the suitcases into the car and then the family said their farewells to Miss Ellie and Clayton. Before leaving Pam promised that she would pay Miss Ellie a visit during the next week.

JR and Sue Ellen and the boys landed in Florida shortly before tea time. JR got a hire car and the family traveled to their hotel. After booking into the hotel and getting settled they went for a drive around Orlando to take in some of the sites. They also managed to find somewhere to eat before going back to the hotel. The boys were excited at being on holiday and chatted non stop through dinner. Once they got back inside their hotel suite the boys were told to get ready for bed.

"Momma do we have to?" John Ross asked

"Yes you do" Sue Ellen replied "We're read you a story when you're in bed"

"Yes" Christopher said

"Okay guys get ready for bed" JR said

Once the boys were in their pajamas, Sue Ellen and JR cuddled up with them on their bed as the boys bunk beds were not the most comfortable place to read a story. Afterwards they talked about their plans for the following day.

"What do you want to do tomorrow" JR asked

"I want to see Disneyworld" John Ross said

"So do I" Christopher echoed

"That makes three of us" Sue Ellen said

"Momma what's your favourite cartoon character" John Ross asked

"I don't know…perhaps Snow White because she was woken up by a handsome prince" Sue Ellen replied

"She was also looked after by the seven drawfs" John Ross replied

"Ah but can you name them" Sue Ellen said

"Let me see" John Ross said biting down on his bottom lip as he thought "Dopey, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy…"

"Two more" Sue Ellen said

"Doc" Christopher said

"Good but who was the last one" Sue Ellen said

"Can't remember" John Ross said

"How about Bashful" JR said

Sue Ellen looked at him and smiled "Very good" she said "So John Ross who is your favorite cartoon character?"

"Peter Pan….because he never grew up and had adventures and fought with Captain Hook" John Ross replied "What about you Christopher"

"Dumbo because he could fly" Christopher replied "Uncle JR what's your favorite cartoon character"

JR thought for a moment. To be honest he had no idea…never having watch cartoons much anyway. "I really don't know there's so many to choose from" he finally said

"Hey it's time to go to sleep" Sue Ellen said

The boys climbed into their bunk beds, John Ross claiming the top one. Sue Ellen and JR kissed both of them goodnight then went and sat down on the sofa in their room. Sue Ellen lay with her head in JR's lap

"I can't believe I don't know any of the cartoon characters" JR said

"It's never too late to learn and we're going to the right place for you to discover everyone's childhood heroes" Sue Ellen smiled

"I can't wait to see their faces tomorrow when we see the magic kingdom" JR said "I think they're just at the right age to enjoy this"

"I think you're going to enjoy this holiday too" Sue Ellen said "Discover the childhood you never had and enjoy watching John Ross enjoy his"

Southfork

Miss Ellie sat alone in the living room, looking at the clock on the mantelpiece. Clayton had left shortly after JR and Sue Ellen but still Gary hadn't arrived. She decided to phone him to make sure everything was okay….although she hoped he wasn't at home but on his way down to Southfork. She was surprised when he picked up on the second ring.

"Gary I thought you'd be on your way by now" she said

"Momma there's been a change of plan…we've decided not to come down" Gary replied

"Why" Miss Ellie asked

"Well…hmmm…one of the twins had come down with a cold and we thought it was best not to travel" Gary said

"There's always next week; JR and Sue Ellen are away for three weeks" Miss Ellie said

"Momma…I'm sorry but I don't want to go to Southfork…this is my home and that place only holds bad memories. If you want to see your grandchildren you can always visit us" Garry said

"But…I haven't seen the twins since they were born. I was so looking forward to seeing them" Miss Ellie said

"Sorry momma….look I have to go…I'll talk to you soon. Bye" Gary said

"Bye" Miss Ellie replied and hung up the phone.

She felt tears stinging her eyes, after all the years she spent protecting Gary from Jock he couldn't be bothered to visit her. There was no excuse for him this time…JR was nowhere around. Suddenly she felt the tears flow but she realized that they weren't tears for the son who had just rejected her and told her he was never coming home but for the son who she had rejected; the son she knew would always be there…the son she loved more than anything in this world. The only problem was she never told him that and she wished he was standing in front her now so that she could tell him. She made up her mind that she would talk to JR as soon as he got home…..she would try and explain everything to him and hope he understood her actions.

JR and Sue Ellen were woken early the next morning by the sound of their bedroom door opening. They pretended to be asleep hoping that the two boys would decide to go back to their room. Silently the two boys crept up towards the bed and climbed onto it inching closer to JR and Sue Ellen. JR broke the silence by gentle laughter and switched on the light.

"What have we here?" he said, looking at the bedside table clock he groaned "Guys…it's 4am; it's way too early to get up yet"

"But we can't sleep" John Ross said

Sue Ellen looked at JR and laughed "Come on you two…you can join us in here as long as you're quiet and go back to sleep" she said

"Really" Christopher replied

"Yes" she replied

The boys dived under the covers lying between JR and Sue Ellen.

"Go back to sleep" Sue Ellen whispered as she gently stroked John Ross head; stretching over to Christopher she touched his cheek not wanting to leave him out of any affection. JR moved onto his side and took Sue Ellen's hand, and gazed lovingly at the two boys between them…he smiled as he watched both of them close their eyes and drift back off to sleep again.

"I thought they couldn't sleep" he whispered

"Hmmm" Sue Ellen said "I think it was a case of being in a strange bed and the first night of the holiday…they just wanted our company"

"Sue Ellen I don't think I can go back to sleep now" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed "Well there's nothing I can do about that!" she said as much as she would have loved to.

"We should have left them at Southfork" JR said

Sue Ellen smiled "Have you never felt so excited that you couldn't sleep" she asked

"Only when I'm lying close to you and thinking of all the things I want to do to you" he replied

"JR…there are children in the room" she laughed "I meant as a child"

JR thought "No I don't think so" he said

"How about at Christmas or birthday?" Sue Ellen asked

"Birthdays were just another day to me…I would get the normal birthday cards and presents but still be expected to help daddy in Ewing Oil after school. I can't ever remember having a birthday party" he replied "As for Christmas it just didn't interest me. I guess I was programmed at a very early age on the importance of building a business"

"Didn't you ever have family holidays?" Sue Ellen asked

"No…daddy was always to busy at work and there was never any time for holidays" JR said

"I remember every summer going down to the beach with momma and daddy when I was very small, before Kristin was born. I remember one afternoon momma was annoyed with daddy so she sulked on the beach all the time we were there, anyway before we left daddy and I went for a swim and he came up with an idea….momma was asleep lying on a beach towel so after our swim we walked back up the beach to collect my bucket, then took it down to the water; daddy filled the bucket and I carried it back up the beach. He then told me that momma needed cooling down so I should pour it over her to make her feel better; so I did…I was three years old and I thought everything daddy said was right" Sue Ellen said

"I bet Patricia loved that!" JR said

"She was fuming; asked daddy what he was playing at" Sue Ellen said "He told her he felt she needed to be cooled down….we just kept laughing at her then suddenly she started laughing and we went down the sea for another swim"

"I can't remember doing anything like that with my parents" JR said

"Don't worry you can do it with your own children; you do realize that those two will want to ride the same rides; see the same things over and over again…" Sue Ellen said

"And I guess we'll have to queue for ages" JR groaned

"Aha" Sue Ellen said

"This isn't going to be too tiring for you….I mean with the babies" JR said

"No…beside after this holiday we'll have a week on the beach where I can relax" she replied "Also there may be times that you can take the boys out on your own…like the Kennedy space centre and I can relax here either in the Sauna or Jacuzzi….it will also give me a chance to phone Dallas and reassure Pam that her son is fine and also phone Clayton and maybe Miss Ellie"

"I wonder how Gary liked spending his first night at Southfork…I bet momma is spoiling the twins rotten" JR said

"I feel guilty that we haven't told her about the triplets….Clayton knows as does Pam and Mark….she's the only one who doesn't" Sue Ellen said

"I feel cut off from her…I always wanted to believe that she really did love me but these past few weeks she's proved she doesn't. All I needed from her was some reassurance and for her to tell me about Digger but she couldn't….I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had you and John Ross" JR said

"You will always have John Ross and me" Sue Ellen said "In fact John Ross thinks he's got the best daddy in the world"

JR looked at the sleeping boys between them "He said that" JR said

"Yes….the only thing that he's not happy with is the fact you wont let him leave school" Sue Ellen laughed

"I wonder what the triplets will be like!" JR said "Do you think they're be girls or boys"

Sue Ellen smiled "I hope that we'll have two girls and a boy or at least one girl" she said "I don't know if I could cope with four boys!"

JR laughed "I never thought we would ever have another child yet alone three at once" he said

"Yes…three lots of diapers to change…three hungry little mouths to feed…this is going to be hard work" Sue Ellen said "You sure this is what you want"

"Hell yes" JR said "More than anything…I can't wait for this pregnancy to develop so that I get to feel their movement inside of you"

Sue Ellen smiled "hmmmm, you get the easy part" she said

JR held her hand tighter "Hey you need to get some rest….these guys will be awake soon" he said

Southfork

Miss Ellie sat alone at the kitchen table….the silence was deafening. Southfork should have been alive with the sound of children; Gary had promised her that he would come down while JR was on holiday but he'd let her down then there was the blood test to consider; the sooner they found out whether Ben Stivers was telling the truth the better. Now the only one who could prove that was Ray, Gary had told her he wasn't interested in finding out whether his father was still alive. Tears formed in her eyes when she thought about JR and Sue Ellen. She couldn't believe how much JR had changed since he and Sue Ellen had got back together…..last year he wouldn't have dreamed of taking a week off from Ewing Oil to go on a family holiday but now he was taking three weeks. She always knew that Sue Ellen was good for JR and these past few weeks she had been proved right. Her thoughts went to John Ross' words…he had told her that there were going to be three babies….why hadn't JR and Sue Ellen told her that…Clayton obviously knew. Had she really pushed them away to the point that they hated her and didn't want her to be part of their family. Tears fell on the table as she struggled to cope with her sense of loneliness….now knowing how JR had felt after she told him about Digger and when she had rejected his questions about his father. She closed her eyes remembering the night she gave birth to JR. It was the happiest day of her life but she was also afraid. She was twenty years old and had lied to Jock…telling him that JR was his but when she looked into JR's eyes she saw Digger. She knew that the reason she had let Jock raise JR was because she needed to forge a bond between them, she didn't want to think of what could happen if Jock ever found out the truth. But she knew there was no bond between JR and Jock; he had always been hard on JR….managing to find fault in him all the time. Nothing JR did was ever good enough for Jock. Her thoughts turned to her own father…Aaron Southworth loved JR and would have hated the way Jock brought him up. She remember how the toddling JR would follow his grandfather around the ranch and how Aaron had loved his little shadow…teaching JR to ride a horse, teaching him to fish and letting him help around the ranch…never shouting at the child even if he was busy. Before he had died Aaron had made Ellie promise that whenever anything happened to her that Southfork would be JR's…she had agreed to it. Now JR would have both Ewing Oil and Southfork.

Florida

John Ross and Christopher quickly ate their breakfast while JR and Sue Ellen looked at them amused.

"What's the hurry boys?" JR asked

"We want to get going" John Ross replied

"You two going somewhere that we don't know about" JR said

"Daddy…we're going to Disneyworld" John Ross replied

JR looked at Sue Ellen and winked at her "Well….I'm not sure we can today" he said

"Why not" Christopher said

"I heard on the news earlier that they've had to shut it down for the next two weeks…due to the fear of having two energetic little boys running around the place!" he replied

"JR don't be cruel" Sue Ellen said "However you two we've got plenty of time so eat more slowly"

"Yes momma" John Ross said

Two hours later the family walked through the gates of Disneyworld. John Ross and Christopher's eyes lit up as they looked around.

"Wow, this place is big" John Ross said

"So are the queues"JR replied"Okay where you want to go first

"To the magic kingdom" the boys said in unison.

After getting out of their car they went to look for the monorail to take them to the magic kingdom. After going through the gates JR turned to his son and asked

"Where to first?"

"Can we go to the Swiss Family Robinson House" John Ross said "We watched the video last week at Aunt Pam's, didn't we Christopher"

"Yes" Christopher said

"Okay…let's go" Sue Ellen said

As they neared the Treehouse JR looked up at it "Sue Ellen, as someone who is scared of heights, do you want to go up there" he said

"I've got you to look after me so why not" she laughed

"There's approximately 128 steps to the top" JR said "Come on let's go"

As they climbed the stairway to the top, Sue Ellen gripped JR's hand tightly. She looked straight ahead not wanting to look down for fear of feeling sick. Finally on reaching the top they wandered into the house. JR and Sue Ellen sat down and allowed the boys to explore for a while.

"This sure beats daddy's treehouse" JR laughed

"Hmmm the view is amazing" Sue Ellen replied

"You're not scared being up here are you" JR said

"No…the worst part is the climb up and going down but once I'm inside I feel okay" Sue Ellen said

"I've been reading up about Disney from some brochures I got. Did you know that because of the weight of the walkways, and the number of people visiting the attraction, Disney had a (larger than life) complete tree made out of steel and concrete to provide the attraction support structure, for what would probably be most peoples idea of an ideal tree-house (assuming one exists). The "roots" of the tree poke 42 feet into the ground to support the structure, and the 1,400 branches which stretch out to make up a 90 foot diameter canopy are decorated with 300,000 lifelike polythene "leaves", and the tree is draped with a real variety of Spanish moss for added "realism". The various "rooms" are fully furnished, and each has a supply of running water, which is brought up to the top of the tree by a fascinating waterwheel and pulley system."

Sue Ellen laughed "You have been busy…and I thought you were reading stuff on the oil industry" she said "Have you ever read the book"

"No" JR said

"It was written in 1814 by Johann Wyss about a family shipwrecked on a deserted island. I also saw the film when it came out. Momma took Kristin and me to see it but I think she was too young to enjoy it"

"Have you read it to John Ross yet" JR said

"No" Sue Ellen replied "He's a little bit too young as the moment but in a few years time we will…along with Treasure Island, Peter Pan and Tom Sawyer"

"We" JR said

"Yes; 'we'. I think I've found the perfect way to make sure that John Ross doesn't feel neglected when the triplets are born. First of all we always make sure we help him with his homework and then after the triplets are in bed we read him a story. We just make sure that we make give him a time with us that is 'special' to him, where he's not competing with crying babies. The other thing is that we both spend that time with him and not make it a case of me reading him a story one night and you doing it the next." Sue Ellen replied

"You've got it all worked out haven't you" JR said

"Part of me feels guilty about John Ross….we've put him through hell with our fighting and I just want to make up for all the bad time and let him know how much he means to us" Sue Ellen said

JR kissed her "So do I….looking back on things I think I've loved him from the moment I saw him but I was terrified of showing it in case he wasn't mine and one day was taken away from me. You two are the only people in this world that I'm not scared of showing my emotions to" he said

Sue Ellen moved closer to him and hugged him "We love you so much" she said

Half an hour later John Ross and Christopher came and sat down beside them.

"It's amazing in here…can we make the treehouse at home like this" John Ross said

"I don't know" JR said "It's a bit smaller than this one….but we can definitely make some alterations to it if you like"

"Cool" John Ross said "Now where can we go"

"How about Splash Mountain" Christopher said

"Can we daddy?" John Ross asked

JR looked at Sue Ellen, knowing that he would have to go on the ride with them "I guess so" he said

They found where the attraction was and waited in a queue. Sue Ellen took JR's hat knowing that he was in for a soaking. She couldn't wait to see JR's reaction. Sue Ellen waited outside as the three of them loaded themselves into the boat. JR, John Ross and Christopher watched the scenes from 'Song of the South' pass by them as they journeyed along. They passed through a few twists and turns until finally they were finally back out in daylight. As they began plunging down the slope JR realized that he was going to get wet, in fact he could get very wet. No wonder why Sue Ellen took his hat from him. Finally they hit the water as the ride ended. Once off the ride they walked back to where Sue Ellen was. She smiled as she saw the three of them looking drowned….her face however took on a serious look when she saw JR.

"Did you two enjoy that" she asked

"That was cool…can we do it again" John Ross said

JR looked at Sue Ellen in disgust "You didn't tell me I was going to get wet….how the hell am I supposed to walk round like this all day" he groaned

Sue Ellen smiled "You'll live….just think of it as a big adventure" she said "Now you know why I took you hat"

"Don't suppose we can go back to the hotel so I can change" JR said

"No" Sue Ellen said "Beside your son wants to go back on there at some point and I know you don't want to disappoint him. How about we go and find somewhere to eat"

"Yeah" the two boys shouted.

Having found a restaurant within the Magic Kingdom, the family sat down and ordered something to eat.

"Daddy can we go back on the ride after lunch?" John Ross asked

"We'll see" JR replied, turning to Sue Ellen he whispered "You don't know how lucky you are!"

"Hey boys…why don't you try out a few of the other rides first" Sue Ellen said

"We like that one" Christopher said

"What is it about children and water" JR grumbled

Their lunch arrived and they ate in silence. Sue Ellen glanced occasionally at JR and knew he was still annoyed with getting wet…but she knew how to make him feel better later. After they finished their meal Sue Ellen glanced at the menu for desserts.

"Okay who wants ice cream" she said

"We do" the two boys replied

"What kind" Sue Ellen asked

"I want chocolate" John Ross said

"Me too" Christopher replied

"Okay…I'm going to have vanilla" Sue Ellen said as she glanced at the tomato Ketchup bottle in front of her "What about you JR"

"I might join you in vanilla" He said

When their ice cream arrived JR, Christopher and John Ross watched in horror as Sue Ellen took the tomato ketchup bottle and poured it over her ice cream

"What did you do that for?" JR asked

"Don't know…just craved trying some ketchup with my ice cream" she said

"That is disgusting" John Ross said

"No it isn't why don't you try some" Sue Ellen replied, as she put the ice cream into her mouth.

"Yuck" Christopher said

JR shook his head not quite believing what he was seeing. He knew women had cravings when they were pregnant but surely not Ice cream and tomato ketchup.

After lunch the family went out and wandered around the Magic Kingdom watching the people ride the various attractions. Finally the two boys turned to JR and Sue Ellen and said.

"We want to go back on Splash Mountain"

JR sighed knowing he would get no peace until he did what they wanted. Reluctantly he joined the queue for the ride. For an hour and a half they queue and rode Splash Mountain. Each time they got off JR felt he was wetter than the time before but by the end he was starting to enjoy himself seeing the two boys laugh in a way he'd never heard them laugh before. Finally Sue Ellen walked towards them thinking that maybe JR needed rescuing.

"Hey let's go to Tom Saywers Island" she said, knowing that this would give the boys some time to explore and play on their own while she and JR rested. When they got on the island JR and Sue Ellen went for a drink in a café on the island while John Ross and Christopher went and explored the island.

"Are you okay?" Sue Ellen asked JR

"I'm fine…just a bit wet and tired" he replied "This is harder than a day at Ewing Oil"

"I guess I know where you'd sooner be" she said

"No, you're wrong" he said as he took her hand "I want to be right here with my family"

"They seem to be enjoying themselves" Sue Ellen said

"I don't understand the attraction with that ride…I mean getting soaking wet" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed "Don't worry we'll go back to the hotel soon and you can change" she said

Sue Ellen got up and sat on JR's lap not bothering that he was soaked. She just wanted to be close to him. They watched the children laugh and play not realizing that time was slipping by. Before they knew it dusk had fallen and it was time to leave the island.

"Hey guys…it's time to go home" JR called

"Can we come back tomorrow" Christopher asked

"If you're good" JR said

They walked towards Cinderella's castle to watch the evening firework display before setting off for their hotel. JR held Sue Ellen tightly as John Ross and Christopher stood in front of them.

"This is perfect" JR said "I wish we could stay here forever…just you me and the children"

"Mmm" Sue Ellen said "But I think Pam would like Christopher back"

"When you wish upon a star….did you make a wish" JR asked Sue Ellen

Sue Ellen smiled and kissed him "Yes…but I'm not telling you what I wished for"

"Let's go back to the hotel" JR said as the firework display ended

"Tomorrow is another day" Sue Ellen smiled

When they arrived back at the hotel, JR went to take a shower while the boys changed their clothes. After settling the boys in front of the television Sue Ellen joined JR.

"We're not going to be disturbed are we?" JR said

"No" Sue Ellen said "They're watching cartoons. I'm so proud of you…I know you didn't want to ride Splash Mountain but you did for your son"

JR held her tightly as he kissed her passionately

"I don't want John Ross to feel the same way I did about my daddy. I need him to know that I love him and will do anything for him" JR said "Even if it means getting wet. And what about you…I can't believe you put Tomato Ketchup on your ice cream"

Sue Ellen laughed "I just had a craving" she said "It actually tasted good"

"I'll take your word for it" JR laughed

"You do know those two are going to want to do that ride again tomorrow…" she said

"I'll make sure I take some waterproofs" JR said

Sue Ellen looked at JR. Just at this moment she wanted him so badly. "Make love to me JR" she said

JR pulled her closer to him and kissed her "My pleasure" he said

Southfork (two days later)

Miss Ellie wandered around the vast land of Southfork. She had been up to the grave and had decided that she didn't want to go back to the house just yet. Her walk took her past the barn and the worker's quarters. She saw that Ben Stivers door was opened, curiosity got the better of her so she went to see if he was there. When she walked in she found the place empty except for the bed and cabinet. It looked as though Ben had left…she noticed an envelope on the bed and went to pick it up. Seeing that it was addressed to her she opened it and began to read. What she read shocked her; Ben Stivers was really Sam Ryder…she recognized his name, he was a foreman on the ranch when her father was alive, someone she had gotten close to and confided in. However he wasn't Jock which meant she had destroyed JR's world for nothing. As she read further she felt tears spring to her eyes. She suddenly remembered how Sam had left the ranch, how Jock had found money in Sam's room and accused him of theft. In the letter Sam explained how Jock had set him up…there was no way he would steal from anyone; how Jock had been jealous of his friendship with Ellie. He had known Ellie's secret and by making her reveal it he had got revenge on her for not supporting him against the bully that was her husband. The letter explained how he had come to have some of Jock's things in his possession. Tears fell on the letter as she read…she couldn't have defended Sam. She couldn't make Jock angry, Southfork needed him to survive. After reading the letter a second time she got up from the bed where she had been sitting, taking the envelope she left the room. As she walked back towards the patio she noticed a car drive through the gates…thinking it might be Clayton she walked quickly to meet it but her hopes were dashed as she realized it was Pam.

"Hi Pam" she said as Pam got out of her car

"Hi Miss Ellie" Pam replied "It's quiet around here…where are Gary and the children"

"Have you got time for a coffee" Ellie said

"Sure" Pam said "Mark's busy at work and I don't have to worry about Christopher"

They walked into the house and the kitchen. After Miss Ellie made them a coffee each they went into the living room.

"Gary didn't come" Miss Ellie said "He told me he's not interested in coming back here as it only holds bad memories for him"

"Where's Clayton" Pam asked

"He's in San Angelo at the Southern Cross" Miss Ellie replied "Dusty's up there too at the moment"

"When will he be back" Pam asked concerned that her former mother-in-law was alone at Southfork.

"Not until the weekend" Miss Ellie replied "In fact I think he might stay up there longer, things haven't been too good between us lately"

"Sue Ellen said that things were a bit difficult here" Pam said "What's been going on"

"Where do I start" Miss Ellie said "All I know is that JR hates me and I don't blame him"

"What has he done now" Pam asked

"It's not him this time…it's me" Ellie said "I've been……..oh I don't know"

"What's wrong" Pam said as she noticed the tears in Ellie's eyes

"A man named Ben Stivers came to work at the ranch….I walked into his room one day and discovered some things that belonged to Jock, including letters I'd written. When I asked him what he was doing with them he told me he they were his and he was Jock, however it turns out he's not Jock…he must have left at some point last weekend but left me this letter" she said as she handed Pam the letter.

Pam started reading the letter "So he was out for revenge, he says he wanted you to lose everything just like he had done and knew that would happen if you revealed the secret that you told him"

"I know" Ellie said "A secret that I swore I would never reveal but when JR started insisting that the only way to discover whether this man was Jock or not was to have a blood test….I couldn't keep it a secret any longer…I had to tell the truth….. because I knew that if the blood test revealed that he was Jock it would also reveal something else"

"So why do you think JR hates you" Pam asked

"I told him……….I told him Jock wasn't his father…that the man he worshipped wasn't his true father" Ellie said "Then when he asked me about his real father I refused to talk to him about it."

"JR isn't the easiest person to talk to" Pam said

"JR thinks I don't love him but that isn't true. When I married Jock I was twenty years old and pregnant with another man's child. I was terrified of what Jock would do if he discovered the truth so I distanced myself from JR and let Jock bring him up…not saying anything when Jock bullied him. I was afraid that if I loved JR too much Jock would discover my secret" Ellie said "I need to put things right before it's too late"

"Who is JR's father then Miss Ellie" Pam asked

"Pam it was a long time ago and I'd sooner not say" Ellie replied

"Daddy once told me you left him to go to Jock….that one minute you were his girl, the next you were married to Jock" Pam said "Is Digger JR's father"

"Pam I was so young and you know Digger…he wasn't exactly reliable….and I knew that if I married Jock then the future of Southfork would be secure. I'm not proud of what I did and if I could turn back time I know I would do things differently" Ellie said

"Daddy thought you had been cheating on him with Jock because JR was born so soon after the two of you got married" Pam said "That's one of the reasons he disappeared from Dallas, because he couldn't bear seeing you and Jock knowing that you'd been together behind his back, probably laughing at him"

"No" Ellie said "I never cheated on Digger. I remember the paternity test results on John Ross when Jock announced Cliff was a liar and John Ross was his grandson. I thought at the time that maybe Cliff was mistaken at being John Ross' father but he was right about Digger being his grandfather. I'm sorry Pam…but whatever you think of me now I did love your father"

Pam took Miss Ellie's hand in hers "It's okay….we all do things we regret" she said

"Pam, this has to be between us….the only people who know are JR, Sue Ellen and Clayton and now you…please don't say anything to Cliff and Mark" Ellie said

"Don't worry I wont" Pam said

"I need to talk to JR and try and explain things to him" Miss Ellie said "They didn't even tell me that Sue Ellen was expecting triplets. I heard the news from my own grandson"

"You can't do anything until they come back from holiday. However why don't you try and contact Clayton…get him to come back early" Pam said

"I'm not sure that he's too impressed with me at the moment" Miss Ellie said

"Give him a phonecall in the meantime why don't you come home with me. Have dinner with Mark and I tonight" Pam said

"I don't know. Mark doesn't want your ex mother-in-law around" Miss Ellie replied "I'll just stay here"

"No" Pam said "You're coming home with me"

"If you're sure I would love to" Miss Ellie said as she stood up and went to hug Pam.

Florida

"Daddy, can we go back to Disneyword today?" John Ross asked

"We've been here five days…you sure that there isn't anywhere else you'd rather go" JR replied

"No" Christopher and John Ross said in unison

Sue Ellen laughed "Hey you two why don't you go and get ready while I try to explain to your father why you like Disney so much" she said

After John Ross and Christopher went back into their own room, Sue Ellen put her arms around JR and hugged him tightly.

"I don't get those two" he said "We've been everyday to the Magic Kingdom but they're not tired of it yet….I mean we've done the same things over and over again"

"You just don't like getting wet do you" she laughed

JR kissed her "I don't mind getting wet…especially if I happen to be in the shower with you" he said

"Don't worry after next week we can relax on the beach" Sue Ellen said

"The boys seem to be enjoying themselves…we should have done this years ago" JR said

"I think John Ross would have been too young to enjoy it" Sue Ellen said "I thought you could take them to the Kennedy Space Centre tomorrow on your own as I promised to phone Pam sometime"

"I don't know….I'm not sure I can deal with those two on my own" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed "Hey…I thought the great JR Ewing could cope with anything, I'm sure he's not going to let two children get the better off him" she said

"This past week I realized how much I've missed out not being able to enjoy being a child. I don't think I've ever had so much fun even if I spent most of it getting wet" JR said "And don't think I didn't notice you taking photographs of us as we came off 'Splash Mountain' soaking wet"

"Aha" Sue Ellen laughed "Thought I might send them to the newspaper…might make a few people smile" she said

JR tickled her "It's a good job you're pregnant" he said "I would have been making you do all those rides with me. In fact we're coming back next year and I'm going to watch you get soaking wet on 'Splash Mountain'"

Sue Ellen laughed "I don't think so…" she replied "Not with these three to look after" she said patting her stomach.

JR held her tightly "Guess we're also going to have to put off renewing our vows" he said

"Not necessarily" Sue Ellen said "I'm three and a half months pregnant now and I think these babies are going to have to be delivered early so they could be born by the beginning of November"

"Isn't that dangerous?" JR asked "I mean look what happened with John Ross"

"This time is going to be so different…I plan on listening to what the doctors say and taking care of myself or rather let you do that" she said "However John Ross survived"

"That child was a miracle….he was so tiny when he was born" JR said

"I still feel so guilty about the months after his birth. For a start not going to visit him in hospital….Pam was the first member of the family to give him a bottle but it should have been me, then there were the months I couldn't touch him because I feared that if I let myself love him he'd hurt me…it took a long time to realize that the one person that could never hurt me was him" Sue Ellen said

JR noticed the tears in her eyes and hugged her "It's okay…." he said "Its in the past…John Ross knows how much we both love him and that we will do anything for him"

"I know….I guess that time has been playing on my mind a lot lately" she said

JR smiled "Speaking of our beloved son, we better see what those two are up to…it's far too quiet in there" he said

JR and Sue Ellen walked hand in hand into the boys' room.

"Hey are you two ready?" Sue Ellen said

"Yeah we're waiting for you" John Ross said

"Okay…let's go" JR said

Southfork

Miss Ellie sat alone in the living room reading a book. This past week time had gone so slowly for her….she had never felt so alone. Her thoughts wandered to JR and she wondered what he was doing, whether he was enjoying his holiday or longing to be back at Ewing Oil. She was still upset that they hadn't told her about the triplets but in a way she understood why they had kept it from her. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car driving up the drive. She stood up and was relieved to see Clayton get out of a taxi. She went outside to greet him.

"Hey Clayton, it's good to have you back" she said

Clayton looked around him "This place seems quiet where is everyone" he said

"Why don't you take your things upstairs and I'll make you a coffee "Ellie replied

"Okay, I'll see you shortly" Clayton said kissing her on the cheek"

Disneyworld Florida

"Okay where too first guys" JR said "And don't your dare say 'splash mountain'"

"Can we go on the 'Big Thunder Mountain Railroad?' "John Ross asked

"Don't see why not" JR said "At least I can stay dry for this one"

Sue Ellen watched JR and the boys queue up for the ride…she smiled as she saw JR hold both boys hand as they moved towards the ride. Her thoughts returned to the conversation she had earlier with JR, and although she knew it was foolish going over the past…part of her couldn't help but feel guilty about her treatment of both JR and John Ross after his birth. She remembered waking up in hospital and feeling JR's hand tightly holding hers, she looked at him and noticed that he looked tired and unshaven. For one whole week he had sat in her room with her trying to talk to her and not getting angry when she didn't reply. Part of her had known that he had wanted to put things right but she had pushed him away and finally when he could take no more he fell into the arms of Kristin. The days after she returned home from the hospital he had been so gentle to her; so patient and yet she had rejected him….she had to she couldn't let herself get close to anyone again not even her son. Then when they had gone to the hospital to pick up John Ross and found out that he had been kidnapped he did everything he could to comfort her…..she believed that he would have accepted John Ross as his if she had allowed him to make up for all the hurt he had caused but then again John Ross was his…she knew that…she just tried to make herself believe that he wasn't. Her thoughts when to her son…the tiny precious helpless baby she had rejected…the nights she had lay in bed listening to his crying, wanting desperately to block it out….relieved when he stopped after Pam or the nurse had picked him up. For over four months she had allowed Pam to be a mother to him but she also thought of the times she would wander into the nursery and watch him sleep…desperately wanting to pick him up but too afraid to do so. She remembered the look of heartbreak on Pam's face when she finally managed to pick him up. She hated the way she had behaved back then but there were so many emotions going through her, she didn't know how she felt. She looked at JR as he climbed into the ride…..the one thing she always knew was that JR would be a good father and she had been right. From the moment he first knew that John Ross was his son he had adored him….if only he had had the father that John Ross has then maybe things would have been different. Her heart felt full of love as she watched her husband and son on the ride. It had taken them fourteen years but finally they had a secure marriage….nothing could ever separate them again.

Southfork

Miss Ellie and Clayton sat in the living room, an uncomfortable silence filled the air neither one knowing what to say, finally Clayton decided he needed to break the ice.

"So where is everyone" He asked "I mean don't tell me Gary and Val have gone"

"They never came" Miss Ellie said " I telephoned Gary on Sunday evening and he told me they had changed their minds….Southfork holds too many bad memories for them"

"I'm sorry Ellie, I know how much you wanted to see them" Clayton said

"No…I'm sorry…..these past few weeks I've made such a mess of things" Miss Ellie said "I've pushed away the people I love"

"Ellie….I just find it hard to understand how you can't love your own son" Clayton said "For the first time ever I felt sorry for JR; he needed you and you rejected him"

"I….I just feel so confused…I don't know how to explain how I feel" Miss Ellie said

"Try" Clayton replied

Miss Ellie closed her eyes…too many thoughts crowded her head, most of them about JR.

"Clayton I was so young and scared when JR was born….I was twenty years old married to a man I didn't love and managed to convince him that the baby I was carrying was his when I knew it wasn't. I was terrified of what would happen if he found out….what he would do. I think that fear stopped me from loving JR. I told you I didn't feel the same way about him as I felt about Bobby or Gary; what I feel for him is stronger….he is the only thing I have left of Digger. I love JR so much but I've always been scared to tell him. When he was little I let my daddy take care of him….JR loved following him around the ranch, then when Daddy died I let Jock take him into Ewing Oil; I thought it was better to keep my distance from him..that way we would both be safe. I'm not happy about the way Jock brought him up….he created a power crazed monster who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted; I hated standing there and saying nothing while Jock bullied him or made him feel worthless. I look at John Ross now and I see a six year old JR pleading to be allowed go and play with his friends and being told that he had to learn the oil business" Ellie said

"Why did you tell me you didn't love him?" Clayton said

"I didn't say I didn't love him I just told him that what I felt for him was different to what I felt for Bobby and Gary; it was you who came to the conclusion that I didn't love him" she replied

"You told me that if it had been Bobby or Gary who had been upset you would have been able to comfort them but you couldn't do the same for JR" Clayton said "Why?"

"Because for so many years I've convinced myself that I loved the other two more; that JR was undeserving of my love; he was just a selfish, arrogant man just like Jock before him." Ellie said

"Have you ever thought that maybe the reason that JR turned out the way he did was because he wasn't shown any affection as a child. Jock taught him that the most important thing was power and that was all that mattered to him" Clayton said "Have you ever told JR you loved him?"

Miss Ellie shook her head "No…as he was growing up I was too scared to get close to him then as he became more ruthless it was easy not to like him….he became less and less Digger's son and more like Jock was in the early days. He made it very easy for me to pretend I didn't love him" she said

"But you do love him?" Clayton asked

"More than anything" Miss Ellie said "I spent the last week wishing that you were here as well as JR, Sue Ellen and John Ross….I think I realized that hidden deep inside of me there's a stronger bond between me and JR than Gary and me. I just let everyone assume that Gary was my favourite"

"You're going to have to talk to JR or you're going to lose him forever" Clayton said "He's talking about leaving Dallas"

"What, when did that happen?" Ellie asked

"He asked me if I would let him buy the Southern Cross a while back…I told him I'd think about it" Clayton said

"Southfork is his home" Ellie said

"Ellie…he no longer wants to play second best and he certainly doesn't want his family to be treated in that way. He's also thinking about the future and feels that when Gary inherits Southfork the first thing he'll do is throw JR and his family off the ranch…JR would sooner find somewhere else to live now than wait for that to happen" Clayton said

"But…Gary isn't going to inherit Southfork" Ellie said "I promise my daddy before he died that Southfork would be JR's…..he made me promise that it would never get into the hands of the Ewings"

"But JR is a Ewing" Clayton said

"In name only….daddy knew that Digger was JR's father" Ellie said "He wasn't happy with what I did even if I did do it to save Southfork"

"I think you need to talk to JR" Clayton said

"He hates me…he didn't even tell me about the triplets…I heard about them from my own grandson" Ellie said "Did you know?"

"I was there when they came back from the hospital and we chatted about it…JR asked me not to tell you" Clayton said "I wanted to but I had to respect his views"

"There's something else….Ben Stivers has left Dallas and before he did he left me this letter" she said handing him the letter she had left on the table.

Clayton took the letter and read it "Oh Ellie….I can't believe this, you needn't have told JR anything" he said

"Do you think he'll forgive me" Ellie said

Clayton smiled "I think so and I'm sure Sue Ellen can make him see your point of view" he said

"I think those two are going to make their marriage work this time" Ellie said "I was watching them from the window before they left on holiday and they looked so happy"

"They are happy" Clayton said "And looking forward to the new babies"

"I just hope they don't make the mistakes I made" Ellie said sadly.

Disney Florida

After a day spent at the Magic Kingdom again JR and Sue Ellen sat outside the café and Tom Saywers Island watching John Ross and Christopher play.

"I'll be glad when we get to the beach" JR said "This past week has been exhausting"

"I know but at least I've got some wonderful pictures" Sue Ellen said "I especially love the ones of you riding the Mad Hatter Tea cups with the boys"

"Hmmm I think I'm going to have to confiscate those pictures; can't have my reputation ruined can I" JR laughed "Actually I've really enjoyed this week…playing with the boys; taking them on the rides….even the teacups were fun"

Sue Ellen reached out her hands and touched JR's arms "I'm so proud of you, I love you so much and I know this time our marriage is going to work" she said "I was thinking earlier about John Ross and my behaviour after his birth"

"You're not still torturing yourself over that are you?" JR said "I told you it's in the past"

"I can't reconcile the fact that I rejected my own child…he needed me but I ignored him…then there was you…those first few weeks after I came out of hospital you did everything you could to try and make things right but I didn't meet you half way…if only I had done things differently" Sue Ellen said

"Darlin' you had been through a traumatic time; both Cliff and I treated you badly I'm not surprised you behaved the way you did, but the important thing is that you managed to bring yourself to love your son before he was old enough to realize what was happening around him!" JR said "And despite what I have said in the past I know you are the better parent…because you consider his needs before your own"

"Do you remember when we almost lost Southfork before the Asian wells came in" Sue Ellen said

"How could I forget" JR said

Sue Ellen bit her bottom lip "I knew you were afraid of what was going to happen and for a moment I fell in love with you…I think if you had opened your arms out to me for comfort I would have given myself to you but then the Asian Wells came in and you went back to being the same old JR Ewing and I depressed whatever feelings I had for you" she said

"I remember you telling me that you thought I was afraid but I just thought you were trying to annoy me, make me angry" JR said

"No…I wanted to comfort you…I wanted to tell you that even if you lost Southfork you wouldn't lose me" she said

"Do you realize how foolish we've been" JR said

"Yes" Sue Ellen smiled

"Come on let's get the boys and go back to the hotel…it's getting late" JR said

After collecting the boys and watching the end of day fireworks they went happily back to the hotel. When they got into their room Sue Ellen decided to phone Pam while JR read the boys a story. After listening to Pam tell her what had been happening in Dallas Sue Ellen went into the boys room and joined them to listen to JR's story. Afterwards they tucked the boys in, then went and sat cuddled up on the sofa in their hotel room.

"What did Pam have to say?" JR asked

"She asked after Christopher, wanted to know if he was okay" Sue Ellen said "So I told her about you looking after the boys going on all the rides with them…she didn't believe me of course but I said I'd let her see the pictures"

"Has she been to Southfork?" JR asked

"She went a few days ago" Sue Ellen said "She had a chat to Miss Ellie"

"I suppose it's a bit hectic there at the moment with the twins" JR said

"Darlin' Gary didn't turn up…Miss Ellie phoned him on the Sunday evening and he told her that they had changed their minds…..she's been alone for most of the time but Pam seemed to think that Clayton would be back soon" Sue Ellen said "Another thing is Ben Stivers has left Dallas and he isn't Jock…Pam said he's someone who knew Miss Ellie years ago…used to work on the ranch when your grandpa was alive and she confided in him about Digger. Jock didn't like their friendship and got him thrown off the ranch and made sure he was never able to work in Dallas again, he had a vendetta against the Ewings and wanted to see Ellie pay for allowing Jock to fire him"

"How much does Pam know" JR said "I mean…what does she know about Digger"

"She knows that he's your father…but I know she wont say anything especially to Cliff" Sue Ellen said "Also Miss Ellie knows about the triplets"

"What!" JR said "Did Pam tell her"

"No….she asked John Ross how he felt about having a little brother or sister and he told her that we had told him there were three babies" Sue Ellen said

"I've made a mess of things….I guess she's angry at me" JR said

"I get the impression from Pam that she's angry at herself" Sue Ellen said "You need to talk to her when we get back"

"I don't know if I can" JR said

"Hey you're not alone…I'm with you every step of the way" Sue Ellen said

JR kissed her "Thankyou" he said "Thank you for always being here when I need you, for being the mother of my children and most of all for being the best friend a man could ever have" he said

"Do you know how often I've dreamed about us finally having a real marriage filled with love and children….all I have ever wanted was you and now all my dreams have come true…I love you…I love our son and I know I'm going to love these babies when they're born" Sue Ellen said

JR held her tightly "It's taken me a lifetime to realize that the only person I need was the woman standing beside me…you are the other half of me…you can make the sun shine when days are grey; with you by my side I can do anything" He said "And I want to be there for you, to share this pregnancy with you, even watch while our children are being born…I never want you to feel the pain of being alone like you did when you were pregnant with John Ross. I want the rest of our lives to be perfect"

"It will be" Sue Ellen said "Hey I've decided to come to the Kennedy Space center with you tomorrow"

"I thought you wanted to rest" JR said

"I can rest on the beach….I just don't want to spend anytime without you or the boys. I want this to be a real family holiday…to strengthen the love we have for each other" Sue Ellen said

JR kissed her "I think it's time for bed" he said

Sue Ellen laughed "You have some excellent ideas" she said "Make love to me…I want to feel you close to me"

JR got up off the sofa and held out his hand for Sue Ellen then carrying her in his arms he took her to the bedroom gently laying her on the bed he gently and slowly made love to her; giving himself completely to her knowing that if there was one person in this world he could trust it was her.

Sue Ellen and JR spent the next day taking John Ross and Christopher around the Kennedy Space Centre. Sue Ellen noticed how the boys' eyes lit up when they saw pictures of space rockets and astronauts. She also saw how interested JR was during the tour; this holiday had been so good for him, for both of them. With Dallas and Ewing Oil miles away JR had managed to relax, she even thought that perhaps Disney had brought out the child in him and allowed him to discover childhood through his son's eyes. She smiled as she thought about the first time JR had stepped off 'Splash Mountain' completely soaked, she knew he wasn't happy especially as he couldn't go and changed but she had also sensed something else in him, she and the children had been laughing at him; she knew he was upset and angry but seeing them happy had soften his mood and soon he was laughing with them. Then there was the time on the 'Mad Hatter's Teacups', JR's face had said it all; there was no way he had ever imagined himself riding about on a cup and was just praying that noone he knew saw him but at the end of the day she knew he'd enjoyed himself in fact the following evening they had spent time cuddled up on their bed with the boys reading 'Alice in Wonderland'. JR interrupted Sue Ellen's thoughts by kissing her on the cheek and saying.

"Hey is this boring you"

Sue Ellen looked and smiled at him "No, I was just thinking" she replied

"About what?" JR said

"You" She smiled "I think you've enjoyed this holiday, being able to forget about the Oil Business and concentrating on your family"

JR laughed "Well Ewing Oil is a lot less tiring" He said "I thought people went on holidays to relax"

"Oh we'll be relaxing soon don't worry, or rather I will be while you entertain the kids on the beach" Sue Ellen said

"I'm still not sure this Disney holiday was right for you in your condition…I mean you haven't been able to enjoy it as much as the boys and I have. You haven't been able to go on any of the rides" JR said

"Believe me that doesn't bother me at all!" she said "I've enjoyed seeing you having fun and not being tied down with all the stresses of work"

Suddenly their conversation was interrupted by their son.

"Momma I want to be an astronaut when I'm older" John Ross said

Sue Ellen laughed

"I thought you wanted to be an Oilman like me" JR said

"No daddy that's boring being an astronaut would be so cool" John Ross replied

Sue Ellen saw the look of hurt on JR's face but she also knew her son.

"Yeah right" she said "What was it last week John Ross? I know you wanted to be Peter Pan, then before that you wanted to be a fireman then a doctor and I do believe that at some point you wanted to be a pirate. It's a good job you've got a few years to make up your mind as to what you want to do"

"Momma!" John Ross said "I do want to be an astronaut and go up in space to discover more planets…I could name one after me"

"Planet John Ross EwingIII" Sue Ellen said "Guess it has a ring to it!"

"They named one after Pluto" John Ross said "So why not me"

Sue Ellen laughed "Just think in another thirty years time we may be able to have holidays in space. I'm sure someone will come up with the idea of taking people to visit other planets" she said

"Two week holiday on Mars" JR said "Wonder what there is up there"

"That's what I'm going to find out daddy" John Ross

JR felt crushed the realization that he was not his son's hero was hard for him to take. The only thing he wanted was for John Ross to love him as much as JR had loved Jock but he now knew John Ross didn't. surely if he loved JR he would want to be like him follow in his footsteps but he wanted to be an astronaut and thought the oil business was boring. Sue Ellen saw the pain in JR's eyes and squeezed his hand, instinctively she knew what he was thinking but now was not the right time to discuss it.

"Hey you guys, I'm starving" Sue Ellen said "How about we go and find someplace to eat"

"Can we just stay a little longer" Christopher asked.

"Okay" Sue Ellen sighed

After a tiring day traipsing around the Kennedy Space Center Sue Ellen was relieved when finally her and JR were back in the hotel room and the boys were asleep after having a story read to them. She was longing for the beach and was glad that they only had a few days left in Florida. Leaning against JR she closed her eyes.

"It's been a long day" JR said "You look exhausted"

"I'm fine" Sue Ellen said "Just the triplets are beginning to make their presence felt"

The room went silent for a while both deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" Sue Ellen asked

"Nothing" JR said

Sue Ellen turned and faced him, taking his face in her hands she tenderly kissed his lips. "I know you" she said

"Meaning?" JR asked

"Talk to me JR…tell me what's bothering you" Sue Ellen said

JR sighed "I don't know I guess I'm being stupid" he said "But when John Ross said that he wanted to be an astronaut and the Oil Business was boring I felt crushed. Sue Ellen, I want to be his hero; the one he looks up to, the one he wants to be like. I feel as though even he doesn't really love me"

"JR that's not true….you are his hero and I know how much he loves you. All he's doing is dreaming it's what every child does. Somedays you want to be Superman or Spiderman then there's times you want to be an astronaut, firemen, doctor, knight in shining armour, it depends what mood takes you. Tomorrow something else will capture his imagination and being an astronaut will be forgotten but the one thing that is constant is you…his father, the person who tucks him in at night; reads him a story; helps him with his homework even does it for him if he manages to twist you around his finger. His talk of astronauts is fantasy, make believe but I know if he lost you he'd be devastated. JR let him have his dreams it's what being a child is about but don't ever think he doesn't love you" Sue Ellen said

"But when I was his age…the only thing I dreamed about what being like Jock, and being the greatest oilman ever just like my father, he was my hero" JR said

"Because that was all you knew; you were taught that the greatest thing in life was being an oil man, that power and money was the be all and end all of life, it gave you the power to have whatever you wanted but that isn't how we've brought up John Ross; we've allowed him to discovers other things; taught him that there are other things in life. He really is just living through his fantasies" Sue Ellen said

"I love him" JR said

"I know….I never doubted that" Sue Ellen said "Trust me he loves you too"

"So what did you want to be when you were a child?" JR asked

Sue Ellen sighed "I don't know, I guess Cinderella and have some handsome prince rescue me from momma" she said "To live happily ever after just like in the fairytales. Or to be Snow White and be kissed awake by a handsome prince and then ride off into the sunset. Sometimes I used to dream about being a nurse married to a handsome doctor, I don't know I guess from an early age the only thing that mattered was finding prince charming" she said

"But you never found him" JR said

"JR stop it" she laughed as she tickled him

"Talking about 'Knights in shining armour'" JR said "I was thinking about Dusty"

Sue Ellen looked at him "You were thinking about Dusty…thought that was my job" she laughed but seeing the serious look in his face she asked "What about him?"

"I just wondered what you liked about him. I seem to remember trying to be so nice to you after you came out of hospital but you were just so closed off then he turned up at the rodeo and I saw something in your eyes that I hadn't seen for a long time" JR said

"It's in the past JR" Sue Ellen replied

"Tell me about him" JR said

Sue Ellen closed her eyes, a warm feeling ran through her as she thought of Dusty and how he had made her feel; the same way she felt now with JR; safe and loved.

"Please…I just want to understand" JR said

Sue Ellen kissed him "I love you" she said

"I know" JR said "Talk to me"

Sue Ellen cuddled up closer to JR and he held her tightly "Okay" she said "After John Ross was born I put up so many barricades to stop myself being hurt again. I felt worthless and incapable of love, I didn't want you being nice to me and I definetly didn't want Cliff and to make matters worse I rejected my own son causing the Ewings to think of me as a bad mother. I remember going into town with Bobby while preparations were going on for the Rodeo; the noise was giving me a headache and I wanted to get far away from John Ross' crying. Anyway Bobby and I had arranged to meet at Hector's, when I got there I was loaded down with packages and dropped them, Dusty picked them up for me. I remember looking at his face and into his eyes and suddenly I felt something that I hadn't felt in ages. I felt a connection. Then he turned up at the Rodeo and we spent a lot of time just talking; he just…….he made me feel like a person again and not an object. To him I wasn't Mrs JR Ewing. After the Rodeo I remember visiting the café where I knew he had breakfast every single day for a week just to see him, to talk to him then he turned up and I felt my heart jump"

"Did it help that he was rich…that his family owned the Southern Cross?" JR asked "He was worthy of your affections"

"At that time money didn't come into it. I would have felt the same way if he had been the poor lowly cowboy he was pretending to be. I knew what money could do, the unhappiness it brought and I didn't want another relationship like that. I remember one day I met him and he told me that he was going to help me fly…to break the ties that bound me, I told him that I was just learning to walk again and he asked me if I'd ever thought of doing something crazy like scaling the Reunion Tower from the outside. He had this aura around him, nothing fazed him' he believed he could do anything; he believed I could do anything. He told me that if I wanted to leave you he'd help me; I remember asking him what made him think I'd leave you for him and he told me he didn't mean leave you for him but if I wanted to leave for any reason he'd be there for me. I think the thing about Dusty was that he made me feel special; I wasn't a possession, an object to be paraded about on your arm whenever you felt the need; I was a person in my own right with the right to be what I wanted. When he looked at me he didn't see Mrs JR Ewing; he saw me, Sue Ellen, a sad lonely person" Sue Ellen said

"You weren't an object to me Sue Ellen…I…I did love you" JR said

"You once said to me that all I was to you was another Ewing possession easily disposed off" Sue Ellen said "And I knew that was true…..I mean I always felt that all I was to you was Miss Texas. Dusty showed me that I was so much more than that"

"I remember that time so clearly….you just looked so happy and in love" JR said

Sue Ellen closed her eyes "Because I was….Dusty made me feel alive and between him and Dr Elby I began to trust again and then I felt able to hold my baby. Everyone thought that I didn't care about John Ross; I remember Lucy telling me that she was going to teach John Ross how to live without his parents and make the whole world pay but I told her I loved John Ross. God I had so many overpowering feelings for him, feelings I can't describe but I tried to shut them out; in the beginning I also shut out what I felt for Dusty….I was so scared of being hurt"

"When did you first sleep with him….I mean how soon after the rodeo" JR asked

"JR please." Sue Ellen said

JR kissed her "It's okay….I'm just want to understand you and what was going through your mind at that stage" he said

"In the beginning our relationship was not about sex; believe it or not the first time I slept with him was the night all hell broke loose with Cliff's revelation about being John Ross' father. At first Dusty and I just used to sit and talk holding each other; for me it was a journey of discovery, finding out who I was and who I wanted to be. He didn't push me into sleeping with him; he was the perfect gentleman waiting until I was ready for the next step in our relationship. He never pressurized me into doing anything I didn't want to" she said

"What was he like…as a lover?" JR asked

"God JR…is this turning you on or something" Sue Ellen laughed

"No…I just need to know about my rival and what you saw in him" JR replied

"He was warm, loving, affectionate, strong, gentle and would do anything he could to please me" Sue Ellen said "He even went back to the Southern Cross to work with his father so that he could build a home for me…for us"

"What about John Ross?" JR asked

"He would have brought John Ross up as his son" Sue Ellen said

"The night you asked me for the divorce….I remember you going out and thinking that you may not come back…part of me felt sick, I never thought that you would ever leave; that I could do whatever I wanted and you would put up with it because you valued the Ewing name" JR said "I remember going into John Ross' room and picking him up, holding him close to me, I felt sad, empty and alone. I didn't want you to go" JR said

"I couldn't leave…not without John Ross and Dusty knew that. He accepted that and was prepared to wait until I was ready. I remember the stupid plan I had of being the best wife, the best mother in public just so that I would win custody of my son but behind closed doors I wanted nothing to do with you. Then I remember one afternoon talking to Bobby and he told me to do what I had to and not play your games because you couldn't be beaten you were too clever. I knew he was right and it was then that I decided I had to leave, so I phoned Dusty and we arranged to meet at the condo. Then the plane crash happened and my world fell apart….the man that had given me hope when all I felt was darkness and despair was gone and that is when I started drinking again" Sue Ellen said

"Kristin and I devised a plan to make people believe that you were drinking again….I was so scared of you taking John Ross" JR said

"The drink she poured over me that wasn't an accident was it JR?" Sue Ellen said

"No" JR admitted

"Did you know that it was the Farlows' who put up bail after I was arrested for your shooting" Sue Ellen asked "Once again my knight in shining armour came to my defense"

"I didn't know that" JR said "When did you find out he was still alive?"

"I remember feeling that I was being followed and then discovered it was him who was having me followed" Sue Ellen said

"Is that when you left me" JR asked

"No…that was a few months earlier….I remember going to the house where they were staying and Dusty telling me that he wanted to make sure I was alright but with him being in a wheelchair we didn't have a future" Sue Ellen said "I felt devastated like I had lost him again. Then a few months later he turned up again this time without the wheelchair telling me that he loved me and needed me. That's all I needed to hear. I remember going back to Southfork, it was late at night and I knew you wouldn't be back that night so I packed John Ross' clothes and prepared to leave. Luckily there was noone in that house because John Ross chatted away all the way down the stairs"

"I came back" JR said

"Yes and you took him from me" Sue Ellen said "I was still determined to have Dusty and my son and that's when I turned to Pam and pleaded with her to bring John Ross to me"

"I remember gong down to the Southern Cross to get my son back and was shocked by how close you two were. He was so protective of you" JR said

"He was someone who couldn't be scared off….he wasn't another Cliff, this time you had met your match" Sue Ellen said

"I remember telling Clayton that if he didn't make you and John Ross leave the Southern Cross that I would destroy him and he told me that you meant everything to his son and there was no way he was handing you two back to me" JR said "For the first time I felt powerless"

"However at the end of the day, Dusty felt tied down and chose the Rodeo over me. Once he got the strength to walk again he needed to be free and that was the end for us. Then he got married and once again my heart broke" Sue Ellen said

"If he hadn't of been married and wanted you back would you have gone?" JR asked "I mean we were close again"

"I think so….I mean I was still upset with what you did to Cliff and Dusty was so different" Sue Ellen said "Then after John Ross' appendectomy he came back; you had treated me so horribly, blamed me for it and I begged Clayton to arrange a meeting between Dusty and me. Then after Bobby's death I went on a drinking binge; I remember him slapping me one night because I wouldn't leave the bar I was in. He wanted to help but I think I was beyond help at that point"

"I remember seeing you in the Sanitarium with him crawling all over you…telling you that he would make things right…I was so angry…we got into a fight and then we heard you scream. You were wild, frightened and I think it terrified us both" JR said

"Once again he wanted to save my life but I think I was wary of him as I knew that at some point he'd return to the Rodeo" Sue Ellen said

"And you wouldn't go with him" JR said

"I wouldn't leave John Ross" Sue Ellen said "He was the most important person to me"

"What are your feelings about him now?" JR asked

"That's difficult to explain" Sue Ellen began "He will always be special to me…he taught me how to love and trust people again. I consider him a very good friend and he happens to be your stepbrother"

"But do you still love him?" JR asked

"Not in the way I did….he's walked out on me too many times" Sue Ellen said "But I look at you now and you remind me of him. Seeing you these past few months….you've been gentle, considerate, loving and the most important thing of all faithful. That is all I ever wanted from you. Dusty is in the past and you are my future….a future that I'm looking forward to knowing that this time we're going to make it"

"I couldn't bear losing you to him again" JR said

"Hey it's not going to happen" Sue Ellen said "I love you and only you"

"How do you feel about Clayton? You know he was in love with you to" JR said

"You really are feeling insecure aren't you" Sue Ellen laughed "I always thought of Clayton as a father figure, he looked out for me after the divorce and when Dusty left. What ever his feelings were for me I don't ever think I felt that way about him. For goodness sake he was Dusty's father that would be like you falling in love with my mother"

"Well I hate to say it but your mother is a mighty attractive woman" JR laughed

Sue Ellen gently hit him "Yeah well we know how much you like to keep things in the family" she said

"Ouch" JR said "Guess I deserved that one"

"We're going to need Clayton and Miss Ellie with the triplets on their way. One baby is hard work but three is going to be tough. We're in for sleepless nights but this time I want us to go through this together and not leave it to a nurse" Sue Ellen said "I hate what happened with John Ross the fact that Pam cared for him the first months of his life. He was my baby but I was a complete stranger to him."

"That's fine by me" JR said

"We need to think of baby names" Sue Ellen said "Both boys and girls"

"We could have three boys" JR said

"No I want two girls and one boy, that way we'll have two of each" Sue Ellen said

"Okay what do you think about boys names" JR asked

"Dusty" Sue Ellen said with a serious look on her face just to see JR's reaction.

"Tell me you're joking" JR said

"What do you think" Sue Ellen said "However I was thinking of Aaron Southworth Ewing after your grandfather"

"Really" JR said

"It just he's the only person who loved you while you were growing up and I just thought it would be great to name our son after him" Sue Ellen said

"Mmm you're right…we never got to choose a name for John Ross" JR said "Jock just took it for granted that we'd name him after him"

"We name him after you sweetheart" Sue Ellen replied "Not after Jock"

"Okay what about girls names" JR said

"That is difficult the names I like we can't use for obvious reasons" Sue Ellen said "However what about Eleanor?"

"I don't know…..it's not like momma actually loved me so why should we call our daughter after her, how about Patricia" JR said

"No…too old fashioned" Sue Ellen replied "JR I want to find out what's going on in Miss Ellie's head….I want to know what her real feelings you are."

"She hates me, I drove her precious Gary away" JR said

"I don't believe that….there's more to it than that" Sue Ellen said "Anyway let's get back to choosing names…how about Sophie or Sarah, Robin, Suzanne"

"We could call her after you?" JR said

"Actually Ellen is nice" Sue Ellen said "I think we should think about it some more and maybe find a baby name book to help us"

"Good idea" JR said "Now let's get back to our earlier conversation"

"Hey I thought we had finished that…I mean I told you everything about Dusty and my feelings for him…there's nothing more to say except it's over. We're together, with all my heart I love you and I hope you feel the same" Sue Ellen said

"I can't believe I almost lost you to a cowboy" JR said "Mind you he definitely taught you a few tricks in the bedroom…I must thank him for that"

"JR!" Sue Ellen said "Beside what makes you think he taught me anything…it could have been Cliff" she laughed

"NO! Please don't tell me you let him…no please.. that is just to sick too imagine" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed

"Sue Ellen I always thought you were too much of a lady to do things like that. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking you to do things…" JR began

"That you got your tarts to do for you" Sue Ellen interrupted

"Sue Ellen they mean't nothing" JR said

"Okay…we have spent the past hour talking about Dusty and my relationship I'm turning the tables, tell me about yours….I want to know everything" Sue Ellen said

"Darlin' I love you…I don't want to go through those times again" JR said

"Sweetheart….this holiday has been perfect and talking about Dusty tonight has cleared the air…you know everything..why I fell in love with him…why I needed him and by talking about your relationships we can try and reconcile the past, lay it to rest forever so that there are no bad memories between us" Sue Ellen said

"I don't want to hurt or ruin what we have now by bringing up the past" JR said

"You won't…have your feelings about me changed because of what I told you about Dusty" Sue Ellen asked

"No" JR said "I'm just glad you chose me over him"

Sue Ellen took JR's hand and placed it on her stomach "JR inside here and lying asleep in the next room is the proof of our love. They were created out of love… a love that is now stronger than ever, I just want to understand why you did what you did and then put it to rest and move on with our lives."

"Where do I start" JR said

"At the beginning" Sue Ellen said

JR pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her "I love you more than anything in this world. Without you these past few weeks would have been unbearable and anything I tell you now is not important. The only woman who is important to me is you"

"I believe you…don't worry whatever you tell me wont change anything…nothing is gong to part us again and when we renew our vows this time we know that everything that happened before is dead and our future is to move forward together with our children" Sue Ellen said

JR closed his eyes…thinking of the other women in his life made him realize that there had only ever been one woman in his life and she was lying next to him. Sue Ellen had his heart and no woman could ever take that from her. Giving a sigh he began to speak!

"Okay in the beginning I guess there was Julie" JR said

"Oh yes she played a big part in our relationship…..the nights you should have been with me you were with her" Sue Ellen said "That started right from when we came back off honeymoon"

JR looked at her "Before that darlin'" he said

"What do you mean?" Sue Ellen asked

JR squeezed her hand tightly "You wanted the truth didn't you" he said

"Yes" she said

"And you promise me that whatever I say will not change anything between us" JR said

"I promise" she said

"Okay…….I knew Julie long before I met you, we had been together for about five years before I met you" he said "We were still together when I met you"

"You mean you were still seeing her and me?" Sue Ellen said

JR looked into her eyes "Yes….right up to the time we were married in fact when you couldn't come into town at the weekend I would spend time with her" he said

"Why didn't you marry her?" Sue Ellen said "Why did you marry me?"

JR thought for a moment "You my darlin' was Miss Texas…simply the best the number one woman in the whole of the state….a winner and that what I needed as a wife. Not Julie, she was just a secretary with no social class" he said

"So you didn't love me when we first got married" Sue Ellen asked

JR moved closer to her holding her tightly. "Sweetheart the man you're looking at now is not the man I was back then. Back then love wasn't important hell I didn't even know what love was, all I cared about was being the best and having the best and you were the best" JR said

"I thought you loved me" Sue Ellen said feeling a little bit hurt

"Hey come on I do love you…you know that" JR said "If this is going to be too painful for you I'm stopping it now"

"No…carry on" Sue Ellen said

"I remembered thinking that when we got married I would stop seeing Julie, then the first time we made love I don't know what it was but I kept wishing it was Julie there with me" He said

"I wasn't good enough for you" Sue Ellen said

"You just didn't do what Julie did to me" JR said "And for some reason I couldn't teach you…I thought it would degrade you"

"I think I accepted things for a while after we were married, but then Bobby and Pam got married…they were forever kissing, holding hands and it just made me feel jealous. We hardly ever made love…I wanted what Bobby and Pam had" Sue Ellen said

"I remember the day you brought home the negligee…I thought you had lost your senses…that was not what I expected from you" JR said

"I begged you to make love to me but you wouldn't" Sue Ellen said

"I'm sorry" JR said

"You went straight to her didn't you?" Sue Ellen said

"Yes….I needed some release and she provided it" JR replied

"What was she like" Sue Ellen asked

JR saw the tears in her eyes beginning to stream down her face, gently he wiped them away. This was painful and he really hoped this didn't affect what they had between them now.

"She wasn't you….she was streetwise; not afraid to do anything I asked and she was my confidante. She knew my secrets" JR said

"How did you feel when she died?" Sue Ellen asked

"Devastated like I had lost part of me" JR replied

Sue Ellen pulled away from him; she knew this was going to be a painful conversation but she hadn't realized how painful. JR reached out to her trying to pull her back to him but she stood up.

"Sue Ellen please….don't do this" JR said "This is all in the past"

"I always thought that even though you slept with other women that you didn't really love them but that wasn't true you did love them possibly more than me" she said quietly.

"Darlin' I have never loved anyone the way I love you….I told you back then I didn't know what love was but I do now and it isn't what I felt for Julie" JR said

"What is it then?" Sue Ellen asked

"What I feel at this moment is powerful…it's like you consume my thoughts every day. Each moment I'm away from you, I want to be back by your side. I love lying awake at night watching you sleep feeling the warmth of your body next to mine. I finally understand what love is and I can honestly say I never felt this way about Julie" he said

Sue Ellen turned and faced him "How did you feel when you nearly lost me after John Ross' birth" she said "Did you feel devastated then?"

"Yes….I sat by your bed for three nights while you were in a coma…pleading with you to wake up, promising things would be different. I remember each day after visiting hours were over pleading with the nurses to just let me sit with you for a while longer. For three days I didn't do anything but wait for you to wake up" he said

"You mean you felt guilty" Sue Ellen said

"No, I mean for the first time in my life I felt afraid" JR said "Afraid that I was going to lose someone special"

"If I was that special how come you needed the other women" Sue Ellen said

"I don't know…I was foolish, stupid….thought that I had the power to have it all and I did. I could have any woman I wanted and I loved that feeling" JR said

"What about Kristin?" Sue Ellen said

"God do we have to bring her into this" JR said

"She was my sister…how could you" Sue Ellen replied "And not only that you really believed that the child she was carrying was yours, I mean let's face it she was sleeping around. And yet you couldn't bring yourself to believe that John Ross was yours without proof. How do you think I felt?"

"Sue Ellen, Kristin threw herself at me. From the moment she arrived back in Dallas she had one aim and that was to get her sister's husband for herself" JR said

"She hated me that much" Sue Ellen said

"I don't know….she told me she always felt second best and I knew how that felt. I guess I felt a connection to her. She told me how you would always get the new clothes and she would get the second hand clothes." JR said

"That wasn't my fault….do you think I really wanted to do the pageants, parading myself in front of judges like a piece of meat" Sue Ellen said

JR was silent, something about her demeanor was now scaring him. She had turned hostile; something had changed he felt he was losing her. Suddenly he stood up.

"I can't do this" He said as he walked into their bedroom and shut the door. Sue Ellen stood alone in the living room staring at the space that JR had just vacated. She walked over to where John Ross and Christopher were sleeping and peered into their room. She looked at their innocent faces and gently stroked her son's face. Her precious darling son who looked more and more like his father each day, she loved him so much. Her gaze went to Christopher; Kristin's son….a victim of Kristin's games…her obsession with being rich, thinking about how she tried to blackmail money out of several men who she claimed was his father Sue Ellen felt anger towards her sister. How could she do that to her own child…even worse how could Christopher's father carry on the deceit after her death. What sort of parents did her nephew have? She was so glad that she had allowed Bobby and Pam to adopt him. Hopefully he would never know the truth about his real parents. After sitting, watching the boys she went back into the living room, JR was still not there so she went into the bedroom. His back was turned away from her. This wasn't his fault she had wanted to bring up the past and find out what the women in his life meant to him. Slowly she crept up on the bed behind him wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.

"I'm sorry" she said

JR looked at her and she saw the tears in his eyes "I don't want to lose what we've got now by bringing up the past and I'm afraid that's what will happen" he said

"It won't!" Sue Ellen said "Please let's talk this through"

"When you came out of the hospital all I wanted was to make things up to you and accept the baby as mine, be a real family but you were so cold and constantly pushed me away. I just got so frustrated with you attitude, then Kristin came along showing me the affection you denied me and I was flattered by her and that's how things started. I think she already had the idea in her head that she was going to be the next Mrs JR Ewing and with her mother's approval" JR said

"What!" Sue Ellen said

"Darlin' I once asked her didn't she have any misgivings about sleeping with her sister's husband and she told me that even her mother had told her that if you didn't want me then it was okay for Kristin to make a move on me" JR said

"Are you serious?" Sue Ellen asked

"'fraid so" JR said "Apparently your mother thought it would be a shame to lose me as a son-in-law so she told Kristin that if you weren't interested in me then it was okay for her to make a play for me"

Sue Ellen shook her head "God, the only thing my mother cared about what making sure her daughters married rich men….no wonder why we turned out the way we did" she said "I remember during the paternity suite I came into your office to sign some papers and she pretended she was being nice but she was secretly hoping that Cliff was telling the truth and that you would throw me off Southfork and move her in"

"Kristin and I were two of a kind….we were both ambitious and we didn't care what we did to get what we wanted or who we hurt in the process" JR said

"I remember after the morning after you were shot….I woke up at the airport…god knows why, I drove back to Southfork and she was there. She told me what had happened very conveniently reminding me that I had gone to her apartment the night before with a gun. She set me up to take the blame for shooting you. How could she do that?" Sue Ellen said

"She didn't care about you all she was interested in was getting away with shooting me" JR said "I think the best thing that came out of that was it brought you back to me if only for a while"

"I felt guilty but I also saw how vulnerable you were and something inside me snap….I just wanted to love you and look after you" Sue Ellen said

"Something inside me told me that you hadn't done it" JR said "I guess I wanted to believe you didn't hate me that much"

"I don't think I've ever truly hated you, there were times when I really disliked you" Sue Ellen said

"We had some great times while I was recovering" JR said "Didn't we?"

Sue Ellen smiled "Yes" she said "But part of me feels guilty. I remember how happy I was when you set Bobby up, how I turned against him when in fact he was the one true friend I had within the Ewing family. I remember during the time of the paternity suite, he told me that even if the test came back with Cliff as John Ross' father he would stand by me and after the shooting and things were great between you and me I treated him like dirt. JR I love you brother so much and I really wish he was here so I could tell him that"

"I love him too Sue Ellen and I miss him" JR said

"Whenever we were back together I turned my back on the people who were there when I needed them, Miss Ellie, Bobby, Pam….I don't like the person I was back then" Sue Ellen said "Even Clayton…I've sided with you at times against him and that wasn't fair"

"Sue Ellen you've changed so much...we both have and I'm determined to create a happy future for us" JR said

Sue Ellen smiled and kissed him "Okay..so where were we" she said "Oh yes the period after you got shot…..so many happy memories JR. Do you remember the afternoons we would spend in bed, loving each other while John Ross took a nap and then when he wake up I used to get up and bring him into bed with us and we snuggle up in our own safe cocoon. The horse rides along the ranch, swimming in the lake, playing in the pool with our son. We couldn't get enough of each other"

"I remember" JR said

"Then you ruined it by sleeping with Afton in our bed on the day of your niece's wedding, how could you?" Sue Ellen said

"Because she made it so easy" JR said "She offered me sex without any commitment and I took it"

"But we weren't exactly celibate" Sue Ellen said "We made love every single day why did you need her?"

"I was bored…I wanted some excitement." JR said

"So I wasn't enough for you or I didn't do what you needed me to do to you, was that it?" Sue Ellen said

JR remained silent. He didn't know what to say to her. She had been everything to him but they were getting to close. At the time he found their new relationship suffocating. He needed something different. Sue Ellen looked at him and climbed off the bed.

"I'm going to make a coffee" she said avoiding eye contact with him.

JR waited for five minutes before following her outside. He found her on the sofa curled up with a mug of coffee in her hands, he noticed that she had made him a mug too. Picking the mug up he went and sat next to her. Why was she making him do this to her? He knew she was hurting and he wanted it to stop.

"JR….after the divorce you made me fall in love with you again, then we got remarried and within six months you were sleeping with Holly Harwood" she said

"She set me up…she set us up she wanted you to find us like that" JR said "She knew it would destroy you"

"But you could have turned away…rejected her the way you rejected me so many times in the early part of our marriage but you didn't, you slept with her" Sue Ellen said

"Yes and don't you think I regretted that" JR said "The night of the fire at Southfork, I remember seeing the flames rush up the staircase and my one thought was getting to you and John Ross before it was too late. I loved you"

"I remember the time after Bobby got shot…you were feeling alone, I was in the gym and you came in…telling me how alone you felt…how all you had was John Ross and me.. I try to fight my feelings but we ended up making love on the floor of the gym" Sue Ellen said "JR there have been so many women in your life…why did you need them when you had a wife who loved you"

"I don't know…..it was never about love….it was about the chase and power, then giving them up and going back to you." JR said "I would never have left you for any of them"

"What about Mandy?" Sue Ellen said

"Darlin' let's not bring her into this….she isn't worth it" JR said "At the end of the day it was her I let go not you and like I told you for a long time during my relationship with Mandy it was you I wanted in my arms. Sue Ellen when I was growing up there was noone there to tell me about love even show me love….affection and those sort of emotions were alien to me, it's only now since I've been able to give myself completely to you that I know what love is"

Sue Ellen looked at him; she was so in love with this man, she just wanted to take him in her arms and love him, she knew how badly his childhood had affected him.

"JR…do you still have the need for other women. Has there ever been a time in the last six months that you've seen a woman and wanted her" Sue Ellen asked

"No" JR said "You're enough for me."

"What about when the triplets come and I'm too tired for sex. What then?" Sue Ellen said

"Darlin' we will both be tired looking after the three of them. Beside there are other ways I can relieve myself" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed "Let's not go there please. But can you promise me that there will never be anyone else but me" she said

"I can guarantee it" JR said "Look I've told you before, I have what I always wanted…you…I was just too stupid to realize that but something inside me has changed I think I've finally realize what love is. I look at you and my heart jumps. I imagine what's its going to be like in a couple of months time when I can see you getting bigger with our children, holding you in my arms, feeling them move and knowing that nothing can take this from me. You belong to me and I belong to you and that is how I want it to stay"

"We've come so far JR" she said as she placed her mug on the table. JR placed his mug beside it and opened his arms to her.

"Come here" he said

Sue Ellen slid up beside him and he pulled her into his lap, holding her tightly and gently kissing her. "I love you and only you" he said

"I love you too" she said

"When we go home, I'm planning on talking to Clayton and seeing if I can persuade him to help me out with Ewing Oil. I don't want it to take me away from my family anymore. I'm also going to open up Ewing23, which is the field I shut down some years ago after I learnt that Cliff, as an heir of Digger had a share in it. When the babies come I'm also going to try and figure out a way that I can work from home so that I can help you with them. This time I don't want a nurse looking after them I want us to do it. And as well as looking after you and the triplets I'm planning on making sure that John Ross knows just how much I love him" JR said

"Cliff will wonder what you're up to" Sue Ellen laughed "Are we going to stay at Southfork?"

"I don't know….in theory it would be best because we'd have momma and Clayton on hand to help out however I'm not sure I can live there with momma anymore. I just feel that she doesn't love me and everytime she looks at me she's reminded of the son she's lost" JR said

"I think she's ready to talk to you…well Pam gave me that impression. So let's see what she has to say" Sue Ellen said

"I want to know the truth about Digger…..daddy always told me he was a drunk and a loser who couldn't handle being beaten" JR said

"It must have been hard having Jock take away both his girl and Ewing Oil" Sue Ellen said

"I guess so" JR said "All these years spent hating the man and trying to do anything to destroy his family and now I find out he's my father. I really don't know what to feel"

"I think it's best to take one step at a time…see what happens when we get back to Dallas" Sue Ellen said

"What about us?" JR asked "For a minute I thought I had lost you…you turned cold on me"

"JR…I was just upset to hear you admit that you loved Julie" Sue Ellen said

"Sweetheart I thought that I loved Julie….but in reality I don't think I did, with my hand on my heart I can honestly say that I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you, I am so proud of you and our son….I promise you from now on the only woman I want or need is you!" he said

Sue Ellen smiled "I hope you mean that….these past few months have been so good I couldn't stand the thought of having you go back to your old ways" she said

"It's not going to happen" JR said "I love you and I promise that I'm going to take care of you…the same way you've looked out for me these past few weeks. You have been my life saver these last few weeks without you I don't know what I would have done. I remember after momma told me about Digger I felt so alone and desperate and then when I asked her the following morning about him she just brushed me off as though my feelings didn't matter but you held me in your arms, told me everything would be okay and listened to me…the one thing I could never afford to lose in this world is you…my family means everything to me"

"It's taken you a long time to realize that!" Sue Ellen said

"I know" JR said as he looked at his watch, it was getting late and he knew the two monsters asleep in the next room would be up early tomorrow. "Hey it's time for bed"

Sue Ellen looked at him "It's time to put the past behind us….it's over, it can't hurt us anymore…what's important is the future and if this holiday is anything to go by it looks perfect" she said

"Can you forgive me for all the times I cheated on you….made you feel worthless?" JR asked

"I forgave you a long time ago….neither of us were perfect what matters is that we've realized our mistakes and are moving forward together as friends, lovers and soulmates." Sue Ellen replied

"Soulmates….do you really believe in that rubbish?" JR asked

Sue Ellen laughed "Typical male….yes I believe there is someone for everyone and you just happened to be my someone" she said

"What did you think when you heard that I wasn't Jock's son but Digger's" JR said

She gently stroked his face "I didn't think anything I was more worried about what the news would do to you. I knew how badly this would affect you and I wanted to be there for you" she said "Now are you coming to bed or not!"

Three days later it was the family's final day in Florida. Having done the attractions at Epcot JR and Sue Ellen decided to let the boys decide how they wanted to spend their last day. JR knew exactly what was in store for him. After doing the 'Big Thunder Mountain Railroad' they moved on to the 'Haunted Mansion' followed by 'Pirates of the Carribean' and 'Space Mountain'. Having spent the morning queuing for the rides JR felt tired so persuaded the boys to take a break. As they sat eating their lunch the boys chatted away about their holiday.

"So what did you two like the best?" JR asked

"Splash Mountain" they laughed "Seeing you get wet and not being able to go home and change"

Sue Ellen laughed too "And just think I've got all the photos to take home and show everyone" she said

"Can we go on there this afternoon…please daddy" John Ross said

"Well I don't know…we'll have to see" JR said

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease" the boys said

"Hey you two if you don't eat your lunch you wont be going anywhere" Sue Ellen said

The boys continued eating there lunch. Sue Ellen knew full well that JR was not going to disappoint his son. After paying the bill the family went back outside.

"So daddy" John Ross said "Can we go and queue for Splash Mountian"

"How about we go to 'Tom Sawyer's Island first as I need to have a rest from lunch before I go on that thing again" JR replied

Sue Ellen and JR rested while the boys once again explored the island.

"They never get tired of doing the same old things do they" JR said

"No…..they play make believe….exploring for treasure, pretending there's pirates on the island, things like that" Sue Ellen said

"I've never played like that. I guess I've got no imagination" JR said

Sue Ellen smiled "We've all got imagination, it just some of us don't use it." She said "At their age they're using it all the time"

"Christopher seems to be having fun….maybe I should take him camping with John Ross when we get back home" JR said

"That would be a good idea…Pam was telling me on the phone that Mark wants to adopt him" Sue Ellen said

"Can he do that?" JR asked "Even with Pam not being his natural mother"

"I don't see that there would be any problem. Pam's worried that he'll forget Bobby but I don't think he will" Sue Ellen said "In fact he was talking about him the other day"

"Will Pam ever tell him the truth?" JR asked "About him being adopted"

"I hope not….it may sound horrible but I don't want momma finding out about him; I'm not sure she wouldn't try and take him off Pam" Sue Ellen said "I just want him to have a normal happy childhood just like our children"

"Well he doesn't seem to be having too bad a one so far" JR said

"Neither is John Ross" Sue Ellen laughed "You know I could stay here forever, forget the rest of the world just concentrate on us" she said

They were interrupted by John Ross and Christopher "Daddy it's time to go to Splash Mountain" John Ross said

JR groaned knowing that he couldn't put it off any longer. Looking at his son he saw how happy the boy was. "Okay" he said "Let's go"

JR and the boys had four rides before JR decided it was time to go home. Sue Ellen had been on her feet all day long and she looked tired. Before going home they watched the end of day fireworks from the castle. Then when it was finished they went back to the hotel leaving the dreams and magic of Disney behind them although JR was determined that one day they'd be back. After reading the children a bedtime story JR and Sue Ellen went and sat down in the living room both exhausted but happy.

"We're going to have to come back here one day" JR said

"Of course" Sue Ellen said

"I think one of the best things I liked though was curling up on our bed with the boys and reading them stories, night after night. Some of those stories I've never heard" JR said

"Sometimes after a busy day the best thing in the world to do is curl up with a book" Sue Ellen said "I used to read all the time when I was younger….I even used to read Kristin stories when she was little"

"There was a big age gap between you two" JR said

"About the same as between you and Bobby" Sue Ellen replied "I remember her being five years old and reading her Pinnochio. Anyway a few days later she broke something in the house I can't remember what but she denied doing it and blamed me. I told her that if she told lies her nose would grow bigger like Pinnochio…next thing I know is she's at the mirror measuring her nose to see if it's got any bigger"

JR laughed "She was a little troublemaker back then" he said

"Oh yes and she could get away with anything being the youngest." Sue Ellen said

JR moved closer to her and took her in his arms. "I know which sister I prefer" he said

Sue Ellen kissed him "Hmmm" she said "She always wanted what I had"

"Let's not talk about her…I think it's time for bed as we've got a busy day tomorrow packing for our next holiday" JR said

"I'm not tired" Sue Ellen said

"Who said anything about sleep?" JR asked

"Are you trying to seduce me" Sue Ellen said

JR kissed her passionately "What do you think" he said "I want you….I want to show you what you mean to me"

Sue Ellen stood up from the sofa and reached out her hand for JR. JR took them and kissed them standing up he put his arm around his wife and together they walked to the bedroom. JR realized how talking through the past had helped them as in these past few days they were closer than ever and that is how he wanted it to stay. The past two weeks had showed him what he had been missing all these years and he couldn't wait to start the next part of their holiday.

They arrived on their own private island in the Seychelles after spending a few hours on the main island.

"This is perfect" Sue Ellen said as she looked around the beach house "I can't believe we've got the whole place to ourselves"

"Yeah noone can disturb us….we have a whole beach to play on" JR said

"Can we go down to the beach?" John Ross asked

"Sure" Sue Ellen said "Be careful"

JR and Sue Ellen watched the two boys race down to the beach, buckets and spades which they had just brought from the main island in their hands.

"Wonder what trouble those two are going to cook up" JR said "At least this time I know I wont get wet"

"Don't be too sure about that" Sue Ellen laughed

"Are you okay?" JR asked

Sue Ellen looked at him "Of course I am why do you ask"

"Guess I'm just worried about the conversation we had the other night" JR said

Sue Ellen looked at him and smiled "I told you…it's over….I think talking about those things helped clear the air" she said

"I'm not proud of what happened in the past" JR said "In fact I have so many regrets"

"Neither of us were perfect JR but I think this past year…..I don't know we both seemed to have changed. Maybe we've finally grown up"

"I'm not looking forward to going back to Dallas next week. I know momma's going to be upset because Gary didn't turn up then she's going to be annoyed because we didn't tell her about the triplets" JR said

Sue Ellen turned and looked at him "We can't stay here forever beside I've got a pre-natal appointment in ten days time" she said "Don't worry about Miss Ellie…I'm sure things will be okay"

JR looked towards the two boys paddling their feet in the water, laughing he said "Oh to be that age again and have nothing to be worried about"

"Mmm, I don't know…they've got a lot to learn" Sue Ellen said "It would be nice to be that age and know what we know now"

JR sat down in the sand and took his shoes off "I remember being John Ross' age. Everything revolved around Ewing Oil and daddy teaching me the business" he said "By the age of sixteen I was practically running the place"

"Tell me some more about your grandfather" Sue Ellen said

JR laughed "Don't you ever get tired of me talking about the past" he asked

Sue Ellen shook her head "No, it's my lifelong project to find out what makes JR Ewing tick" she said

"Its funny but I can remember a lot about him…even though he died when I was quite young" JR said "In fact Clayton reminds me of him. He was strong, yet gentle but he wouldn't take any nonsense from anyone but above all he was never threatening…I was never scared of him"

"It must be a generation thing….grandparents are usually easier to deal with than parents" Sue Ellen said

"Mine was" JR said "I remember our fishing trips, I was only about four or five but they're still crystal clear. Once grandpa had some worms which he was using for bait and I remember wondering what the fish would taste when they bit on the worm, so when he wasn't looking I tried to eat one"

"That's disgusting" Sue Ellen laughed

"No more disgusting than eating cake mix" JR replied "Anyway I remember not liking the taste, so I spat it out and took a drink from Grandpa's flask. That made me sick as well"

"What was in the flask" Sue Ellen asked

"Well there were two flasks one with orange juice in and the other with bourbon, unfortunately I took the wrong flask. It brought on a coughing fit; I mean I thought my throat was on fire, grandpa laughed when he realized what I done. The best part of fishing though was the cooking it on the camp stove then eating it. I used to watch grandpa while he filleted the fish and then we used to cook it. While it was cooking he taught me camp fire songs and tell me stories of how he built up Southfork, guess it was the happiest times of my childhood…some of my best memories of that time were when he was alive. I didn't have to compete with anyone for his attention" JR said "When he died I felt so alone"

Sue Ellen rested her head again his shoulder

"He would have hated what I turned into though" JR said "I mean I almost lost Southfork, For a moment I forgot about him and how much he loved the place; all I cared about was Ewing Oil and being the best"

"You took a gamble and it paid off" Sue Ellen said

"Yeah but we could have lost everything" JR said "I cringe when I think of the things I've done"

"Does the old JR still exist?" Sue Ellen asked

JR sighed "I don't know…I'm trying to put him in the past. I want to be a good husband and father but there are times when I'm scared of failing of going back to my old ways" he said "Having said that….these past few weeks…being with you and John Ross have been great…I feel as though I'm part of something and not standing on my own having to fight to be noticed….I can truthfully say I haven't got the drive for Ewing Oil that I once had. What I want now is to spend time with you and our children…be a family. You know that was Bobby's last words 'Be a family' and I now know what he meant"

"Sweetheart…there were some good things about the old JR…after all I married him twice. Sue Ellen said

"Yeah you did didn't you" JR laughed "Thinking about it now I regret mortgaging Southfork…my grandfather showed me nothing but love and I should of respected his memory. Another thing I remember about grandpa is how he used to like to decorate Southfork at Christmas. He used to decorate inside and outside….there would be lights all over the place. One Christmas…I must have been about four…we were out in the field with the cattle and I asked him if we could decorate the cattle too and we did. He spent the whole afternoon with me making paper chains which we put around their necks and then he put bells on every single one of them"

"I bet the paper chains didn't last long" Sue Ellen laughed

"I think they lasted about a day" JR replied "He also used to tell me stories connected with Christmas…one story he told me claimed that at Midnight on Christmas Eve all the animals all over the world would fall on their knees in prayer. Never did find out if that was true"

"I've heard that story too….maybe we should camp out in the barn next Christmas Eve" she laughed "I used to love going to the midnight service with momma and daddy, haven't done that in a long time"

"Maybe we should go this year" JR said

"Mmm, I think the church may just fall down if you walk in" Sue Ellen said "Beside we're going to be a little busy this year"

"So you think that the babies will be born before Christmas?" JR asked

"Well sometime between November and December" Sue Ellen said "It depends on what my health is like….it's likely that if either my health or that of the babies is compromised then they'll perform a C-section. Mind you the longer they leave it the better chance we have of the three babies surviving"

"I want to be there with you this time" JR said

"That shouldn't be a problem" Sue Ellen replied

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of laughter coming from further down the beach.

"They seem to be having fun" JR said "John Ross has a lot of you in him"

"What makes you say that?" Sue Ellen asked

"The way he is with Christopher……he behaves like a big brother making sure that Christopher is okay and doesn't feel left out. At no point has he shown any jealousy when we've shown Christopher attention" JR replied

"I think he knows that Christopher misses Bobby and he's also secure in the fact that we love him and knows that he has nothing to be jealous of. Whatever our differences have been in the past the one thing we've always been united on is our love for our son." Sue Ellen said

"Yeah but he has your compassionate side….the side of you that I used and abused so many times. I knew when things were bad that somehow I could get to you and entice you back to me…I knew that when the world hated me that you would be the one person that I could rely on to be on my side" JR said "That's what I love about you…your power to forgive anything…no matter how badly I treated you"

Sue Ellen kissed him "I guess you're worth it" she said "Everytime I see pain in your eyes I melt. That's what I found so hard after Bobby died. I knew how much you loved him and I wanted to comfort you….take you in my arms and love all the pain away but you wouldn't let me. That's why I needed to be there for you when you found out about Digger. JR I need you to understand how much I love you….not because you're JR Ewing but because you're the man I fell in love with all those years ago on the night of the Miss Texas Paegent. Something in me clicked that night when I looked into your eyes and it's still there. JR do you realize that your wife is hopelessly in love with you"

JR smiled and kissed her "I think so" he said

Gently she hit him, shaking her head she laughed "You think so!" she said "Do you know that if you wanted to walk away from Ewing Oil, Southfork and all the Ewing money then I'd follow you. As long as I have you and our children then nothing else matters"

JR smiled "I feel the same….all my life I've blocked out all forms of emotions, I've never really been able to make a connection with anyone…I didn't know how to but with you and John Ross things are different. What I've found is unconditional love….that you love me in spite of everything…when I'm in your arms I don't have to pretend to be the best oilman in the world I can open up and be myself"

"We're going to give our children everything that we missed out on. John Ross is never going to feel second best…we waited so long for him and we're going to teach them what's important and it's not money or business deals it's being a family and supporting each other through whatever life throws at us" Sue Ellen said

JR looked at the two children playing in the sand, building sand castles, then they ran to the shoreline as the tide came in, John Ross taking Christopher's hand as he encouraged his cousin to try and jump the tiny waves. He knew his son would make the perfect big brother.

"Hey come on…let's go down to the water" JR said "It's time to get those two monsters"

Later that evening JR sat in the rocking chair on the veranda. These past two weeks had revitalized him but in a way he was also felt tired. Sue Ellen crept up behind him and put her arms around his neck.

"Those two monsters have tired you out" she laughed

JR yawned "Guess I'm getting old" he replied "I can't believe how much energy those two have….they've been running around on the beach all afternoon and still wanted to play ball on the beach before going to bed"

"I was watching you playing with them….you're something else you know that. To most people you're a ruthless business man who will stop at nothing to get what you want….and yet with John Ross you totally change, it's as though you're another person" she said "You're patient, gentle and loving…..straits which other people have never seen"

JR laughed "Hey I've got to keep up my image darlin'. Can't have people thinking that ole JR's no longer the hard man" he said

Sue Ellen went and sat on JR's lap and he put his arms around her, resting his hand on her stomach "What's going on in there" he said

Sue Ellen kissed him "Oh they're fine" she said "In another month or so you'll be able to feel them moving yourself, and in four or five month's time they'll be here with us, then we'll have the sleepless nights"

"God…if they're anything like John Ross we're going to have our hands full. I mean he sure had a set of lungs on him" JR said "When he cried noone slept"

Sue Ellen laughed "Funnily enough your mother once told me the same thing about you" she said "John Ross wasn't that bad…as I recall he slept through the night from the age of six months"

"I remember once or twice, waking up in the middle of the night and checking the clock and realizing that he should be awake. I'd slip out of bed and creep into the nursery just to check that he was still breathing" JR said "And then when I found out he was mine, there were times when I used to pick him up from the crib and cuddle him close to me."

"I know there were a few times when I'd wake up to find you not there then wander into the nursery to find you two snuggled up together" Sue Ellen said "The one thing I never doubted was your ability as a father….I knew John Ross had the best"

"Hey do you fancy a walk down by the beach" JR said

"What about the children" Sue Ellen said "We can't leave them"

"Let's just go and check on them but I bet they're fast asleep…beside we wont be that long" he replied

JR and Sue Ellen walked into the house and checked that the boys were sleeping. Sue Ellen picked up a blanket and they walked hand in hand down to the beach. JR placed the blanket on the ground and both of them sat down.

"It really is beautiful out here" Sue Ellen said "There are so many stars in the sky"

"Yeah…do you remember how we used to go for a walk at night around the lake at Southfork and put a blanket on the ground; gaze up at the stars above and count them" JR asked

"You knew the names of all the constellations" Sue Ellen said "I used to sit memorized by you, as you told me the names of them"

JR stood up and reached for her hand "Come on let's go down to the sea" he said

"Before we do that…you need to take off your shoes" she laughed

JR did as he was told and the couple ran down to the shoreline. The water was cool as it washed against their feet.

"Damn this water isn't as warm as the Southfork pool" JR said

"Have you ever swum in the ocean JR?" Sue Ellen asked

"No…I never had beach holiday and if it's as cold as this in there then I wont be going in this time either" JR said

"Spoilsport" Sue Ellen said "And I wouldn't be so sure about not swimming in here…we both know that if your son wants you to join him you'll do it"

"But it's cold" JR said

"No it's not…true it's not heated like the pool but it's still refreshing" Sue Ellen said "I used to love swimming in the ocean when I was little….in fact my daddy and I used to spend most of our time swimming"

They spent a couple of minutes splashing around then JR walked Sue Ellen back up the beach. They sat back down on the blanket both commenting how warm it still was outside. JR lay down and sighed, Sue Ellen snuggled closer to him.

"We should get back" she whispered

"No..the boys are fine and beside I want to make love to you on this beach" JR smiled

Sue Ellen stood up "Sorry JR…not tonight" she said trying to sound convincing

JR took her hand and pulled her back down onto the blanket "Playing hard to get" he laughed

Sue Ellen gently stroked his face "As much as I love you I can't let you get your own way all the time" she said "Beside what if one of the boys wake up and come down here, how you going to explain what we're doing"

"Oh I can be very discreet…beside we've tired them out" JR said

"I thought you said you were tired" she laughed

"Not for you I'm not…now be quiet" JR said

JR gently pulled her closer to him and kissed her passionately. He then reached under her skirt and placed his hand into her panties. Sue Ellen laughed.

"JR!" she said as she kissed him JR rolled her onto her back then skillfully removed her panties, suddenly he stopped and looked at her.

"What's wrong" she asked

"Just thinking….I don't want to hurt you or the babies" he said "Is this okay?"

Sue Ellen smiled "No you wont hurt us" she said "However maybe I should take control" she said as she rolled him on his back. Her hand went to his crotch and finding his zip she released him. JR kissed her

"I love you" he said

Gently she stroked him then guided him inside of her, together they moved as one finding their rhythm…kissing each other tenderly as they went towards the height of their passion, finally they began to relax holding each other in a tight embrace.

"You do realize I plan on doing this every night" JR said

"Fine by me" Sue Ellen said

"I am so proud of you" JR said as he lovingly stroked her face. "You've come so far….you're so much stronger than I ever thought you could be and I'm truly happy that you are my wife and the mother of my children"

Sue Ellen kissed him "I'm proud of you too…..I'm proud of the way that you've coped with knowing that Jock wasn't your father….also how you've put John Ross and me first and haven't thought of Ewing Oil once during this holiday and how you've looked after both John Ross and Christopher on the rides at Disneyworld and never complained at having to go on the same ride 30 times" she said

"That was tough but I'm going to enjoy seeing you do that next time" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed "I'm scared of heights so you're never getting me on those rides" she said "You'd have to tie me to one of them"

"Hmm tying you up..sounds interesting" JR said

"You're terrible" She replied

JR pulled her into a kiss "I know…which is why you love me"

Once again they began to make love knowing that each time made a stronger connection between them. JR realized that there was a bond between them that was stronger than anything he had ever experienced.

The following day the family went down to the beach for a picnic. Sue Ellen lay in the shade as the sun was hot while JR watched the boys digging a hole.

"What are you guys digging for" JR asked "Buried treasure"

"Could be" Christopher said

"Or if we're lucky we could strike oil" John Ross laughed

JR laughed and looked over at Sue Ellen "Are you okay?" he asked

"Fine" she smiled

Half an hour later the two boys finished digging and sat down beside JR.

"Daddy" John Ross said

"Yeah" JR replied

"Will you get in our hole please" John Ross said

JR looked at the hole "Hmm now why would I want to do that?" he asked

"Because we want to bury you" Christopher laughed

Sue Ellen laughed on hearing Christopher's reply. Remembering how she and her father had once persuaded her mother to let them bury her.

"Please" John Ross said

"You won't get any peace until you do" Sue Ellen said

JR reluctantly got up and walked towards the hole "You sure you wouldn't rather bury your mother" JR said

"Nope" John Ross said "We want to bury you"

"Okay….you two I'll help" Sue Ellen said as she got up "How about you do the burying John Ross while Christopher and I head down the beach and find some shells and seaweed for decoration"

"Yes" the two boys said

"And when we finish I'll take a picture of you" Sue Ellen said

"I'll get you back for this" JR called after his wife as she picked up a bucket and headed down the beach. Suddenly she turned around and called up to John Ross.

"John Ross be careful of your father's face….I don't think he'd appreciate sand in his eyes or mouth"

"Okay" John Ross replied

JR watched as Sue Ellen and Christopher raced off down the beach; he'd get his revenge on her later, he thought.

"Daddy don't move" John Ross said

Feeling defeated JR lay back and closed his eyes. John Ross began his task of covering his father with sand. Sue Ellen and Christopher went near the shoreline collecting shells.

"Okay Christopher..we'll get the shells in your bucket and the seaweed in mine" she said

"Look…there's some real pretty shells here" Christopher said

"hmmm, we need some big ones and some little ones…okay…you collect those and I'm going to find some seaweed" she said

Sue Ellen walked further along the shoreline trying to find seaweed. She hated the stuff, remembering how when she was little she used to hate going in the water where there was any seaweed and how her father would remove it for her. She looked back at Christopher, he seemed happy although she knew he missed Bobby. Ten minutes later they went back up the beach with their buckets.

"Right, how are you doing" she asked her son

"Okay" John Ross said "Daddy can you move?"

"Ah, I don't think so" JR replied

"Good, that's what we want to hear" Sue Ellen said smiling at JR.

Sue Ellen got hold of a spare spade and patted down the sand that John Ross was continuing to throw over his father's body. When they had finished Christopher picked up the bucket of shells and they began to decorate. Finally they took a step back to admire their work.

"Time for a picture" Sue Ellen said "You two go and kneel by daddy"

The two boys did as they were told and Sue Ellen took some photographs of their work.

"How long do I have to stay here" JR asked

"Daddy we're going to explore the beach…we'll see you in a while" John Ross said "We'll let you out at lunchtime"

"That's ages away" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed and sat down beside him. "JR you're lucky they're going to let you out at lunchtime" she said "I remember being seven years old and digging a hole with my daddy, then we asked momma to get in it….which is why I knew what those two were planning when they started digging…I just didn't know who would have the pleasure of being buried. Anyway momma complained that she didn't want sand over her but daddy told her not to be so miserable so in the end she gave up and did what we wanted. Just as those two did we decorated with shells and then finally sat back and admired our work. Mamma started complaining that she wanted to get out so daddy stood up and took my hand. We then started walking away from the beach and momma shouted out asking us where we were going. Daddy told her he was going to buy me an ice cream…anyhow when we got back we sat there eating ice cream in front of her"

"You mean your father didn't' get your momma one?" JR asked

"No, he said she had been about us having fun so she didn't deserve one. I remember him just sitting there enjoying every single part of that ice cream knowing that she was getting more and more annoyed" Sue Ellen said

"You're father sounds like a fun guy" JR said

"He was….I wish he was still here so that he could enjoy his grandchildren" Sue Ellen said "I was thinking while we were down on the shore how I used to hate seaweed and he'd always remove the seaweed so that I could go swimming!"

JR looked at her and saw a hint of sadness in her eyes. He looked down the beach and saw the two boys exploring the rocks.

"Hey help me out of here" he said

"I can't sorry" Sue Ellen replied

"Please….I just want to hold you in my arms" he said

"Wait" Sue Ellen said and stood up, walking down the beach towards the two children. A couple of minutes later she walked back up after speaking to her son.

"John Ross said you can get out" she laughed

Sue Ellen removed the sand from JR and once he was free, he stood up and shook himself clean. "God…I've got sand where I didn't think it was possible to get sand" he said

They went and sat back down on the blanket, JR wrapped his arms around Sue Ellen.

"Are you okay….I was just looking at you earlier and you seemed a little sad" JR said

"I'm fine….just thinking about daddy makes me sad at times" she replied "I always used to think that he would come back one day and take me away to live with him"

"Were things that bad at home without him" JR asked

"No…it wasn't that. There was just no more laughter….no silly games everything changed. And there was momma's obsession to create perfect ladies who would marry millionaires. Every boyfriend you had was checked out to see how much money was in his father's bank account. Got a bit tiring after a while" she said

"We've both got bad childhood memories" JR said

"Yeah but we've got some good ones too…..but I'm determined that our children are only going to have happy ones" Sue Ellen said

JR pulled her into a kiss "Hey I need to go in the water and get this sand cleaned off" he said "You going to join me"

"I thought you said it was too cold for you" she laughed

"You can warm me up afterwards" he replied

A few days later and the family spent another day on the beach. The weather was warm and the sea was a crystal blue.

"Can't believe we've got to go back to Southfork in two days time" JR said

"Time always goes fast when you're having fun" Sue Ellen replied

"We've still haven't decided what we're going to do" JR said "I mean do I buy the Southern Cross off Clayton or do we find somewhere in Dallas"

"Or do we stay at Southfork" Sue Ellen answered

"John Ross loves Southfork and so do I but just at the moment I don't feel I can face going back there yet alone living there" JR said "Beside momma may not want three crying babies"

Sue Ellen sighed "Let's see what happens when we go home" she said "I'd prefer to stay in Dallas though…I think San Angelo is a bit out of the way"

"Come on let's go and help the boys with their sandcastle" JR said "Hey you two do you want some help"

"Sure daddy" John Ross said

"Well let's see….you know what we could build a moat around the castle and then make it go down towards the ocean so that when the tide rises it will let the water in. We can also decorate with shells and put four sandcastles made from your buckets on each corner" JR said

"Okay…let's get to work" Christopher said

The four of them built the sandcastle…making it tall and wide then dug out a moat leading down to the ocean. Then JR and Sue Ellen sent the boys off to look for shells while they make sandcastles with the buckets.

"I do believe you're having fun" Sue Ellen said

"I sure am" JR laughed "This beats making oil deals. Thanks"

"What for" Sue Ellen asked

"For showing me what a family really is" He replied "For showing me what love really means and for being here and making me realize that I'm not alone"

Gently she stroked his face "I love you…..and whatever happens at Southfork we will face it together…face Miss Ellie together and if she blames you for Gary not being there while we were on holiday then we'll find somewhere else to raise our family" she said

JR kissed her "Okay" he said

The following morning JR woke early and decided to go down to the beach to watch the sunrise. After getting dressed he decided to leave a note on the pillow for Sue Ellen before setting off down the beach. He walked down by the shore and sat down waiting for the sun to creep over the horizon.

Sue Ellen woke up ten minutes later and after reading JR's note decided to follow him down onto the beach. She found him sitting cross-legged near the shore. Quietly she crept up behind him and sat down. Putting her arms around his neck she kissed his cheek. JR laughed as she hugged him tightly.

"Did I wake you?" he asked

"No….I woke up, reached for you and you weren't there" she replied

"I left you a note" JR said

"I know…I read it and decided to come and look for you" she smiled

Sue Ellen stood up and walk around in front of JR , finally sitting in his lap.

"I thought I'd get up early and watch the sunrise" JR said "I haven't done that in a long time"

"It's so peaceful here…..even the ocean is still" Sue Ellen said

"I used to do this all the time with grandpa when we went camping. We both used to wake up early and then go and sit by the lake and watch the sun rise over the horizon" JR said

Sue Ellen laughed "I remember doing the opposite with my dad. Whenever we went to the beach we would stay there until the sunset…and watch it disappear. I used to love the colours that appeared in the sky…sometimes it seemed that the sun and the sky were on fire and other times it would be a softer shade of pink" she said "We used to watch it disappear over the horizon. I remember me asking him once where it went to and he told me that they needed it in Australia for a little while but it would be back the next day. And sure enough he was right….every night it would disappear and then the next day it would come back"

"Funny how we believe everything an adult tells us when we're young" JR said

"You mean to tell me that the sun doesn't go down to Australia and then come back at dawn" Sue Ellen laughed

JR hugged her tightly and kissed her "Who knows….just like the moon is made out of cream cheese" he laughed

"Hmmm I fancy some cream cheese…don't supposed you'd go up there and get some for me" Sue Ellen laughed

JR shook his head and laughed "Maybe later" he said

Both sat in silence for a while as the sun crept over the horizon and rose in the sky.