The Most Life Changing Thing

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Six

November 2010

"Where's Prentiss?" Morgan asked Reid, as Morgan strolled up to Reid's desk late one evening at the BAU. The team had just returned from their case in Kansas City, Missouri.

"She wasn't feeling well so she went home." Reid tapped the papers on his desk. "I'm finishing up her paperwork."

Morgan pouted. "Hey, no fair! You never do my paperwork for me."

"Yeah, I do, whenever you sneak it into my pile."

Derek smirked. "True, true, but you're not supposed to notice that. Besides, since you can do it three times as fast as me shouldn't you have three times as much?"

"If I get paid three times as much, okay."

"Sorry, can't help you there," Derek joked. "So what was wrong with Prentiss? She did look a little pale on the plane."

"She said she had a headache. I don't think she's getting enough sleep lately. And she's worried about her mother coming back from her trip abroad in time for the holidays."

"Those two have a weird relationship, don't they?"

"Tense."

"Yeah, well if the ambassador can't make it back here for Turkey Day Prentiss is welcome to come by my place for my annual shindig. I'm planning to deep fry a turkey this year."

"That is the most popular way to set a house on fire during Thanksgiving."

"Relax, kid, I ain't gonna set nothing on fire. So are you gonna rustle up a date for my party?" Derek ruffled Spencer's hair. "Ain't it about time you get yourself some more loving? What's it been? Six months since you and Austin broke up?"

"Nine months, six days."

Derek winced. "Yeah, that dry spell needs to be broken."

Reid slightly blushed and Derek pounced on that reaction by crying "Oh, what is it your hiding from me? Or should I say who? Did you find yourself some hot, sweet punani to keep you warm at night?"

"Punani? What language is that?"

Derek rubbed his head. "Just slang, Reid. Just slang. So who is your sexy mama that gave you some and why is this the first I'm hearing about it?"

"Some things are private, that's all."

"Look at you," Derek grinned "You've got a love struck look on your face. And here I thought you went and got yourself a little thing for Prentiss...wait a minute, you got to be kidding me. You and Prentiss are doing the dirty?"

"Shhh. Keep your voice down."

Derek stared at Reid for a moment. "Kid, I hope you know what you're doing."

"I never know what I'm doing when it comes to women. I'm just not sure...what this is. Its confusing. Can it be something serious or am I just deluding myself because I'm lonely and she's amazing?"

"Only you can answer that but don't blow this off out of fear because who knows how long it might be until the next time something amazing comes along for you, if ever. You can never know what might stick if you don't give it a chance."

"How many times have you ever really given a relationship a chance?"

"We ain't talking about me but what I can tell you is if I had something amazing, I'd do my best to hang onto it." Then Derek mused, as he smirked, "Hmmmm, you and Prentiss, I thought I saw something more there lately. Derek Morgan has still got it. My radar is working just fine. I'm just shocked you two went for it instead of taking the cautious route. Good for you, Reid. Now get back to doing her paperwork." Derek made a sound like a whip cracking, as he stood up.

Reid gave him an confused look. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Go for it, kid." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"If every time I'm with a woman I feel like I could love her, how will I ever know when its real?"

"There's no rule you can only love one woman in your life. Its not about how many you fall for, not at all. Its all about the one you can't let go- the one you fall for over and over every day." With that said, Derek walked off, leaving Reid there thinking about Derek's words.

XXXXXXXXXX

That next day, Reid asked Emily to go to lunch so he could confess. They walked down the street from the building where they worked and went into a small Italian restaurant that was nearly empty at that time of day.

After they ordered their meal and drinks he spit out what he had done. "Morgan knows about us. I'm sorry. He just looked at me and knew."

Emily smiled slightly. "I figured as much. He's been smirking at me all day like he knows something that I don't know he knows. Its okay. The whole world could find out and it wouldn't bother me just as long as it doesn't mess up your career."

"Or yours."

"Right." Her eyes fell.

"So have you told anyone then?"

"No, but I'm a very private person, you know that. Its not because of anything else. I just keep things close to my vest, that's all."

"Sure," he mumbled, not positive she was telling the truth.

All he really knew was his emotions were like a turbulent tornado building up inside of him, growing more and more even though he was hesitant to rush into anything but it didn't feel like a choice at all. It just was happening and the only way to stop it would be to stop sleeping with Emily, something he wasn't willing to do unless she demanded it.

Emily reached out and offered Reid her hand. He put his hand in hers. Their eyes held.

"Reid," she said, in a serious and somewhat sad tone, "I care deeply for you. Probably more than I've ever cared for any man. But I can't offer you anything long term. I wish I could but our lives are in very different places right now."

"What.." he cleared his throat "what are you saying? You changed your mind about dating?"

"All I'm saying is," she sighed and took her hand back "I suck at this kind of stuff so bad."

"What kind of stuff? If you're trying to let me down easy then don't bother because its never easy to be let down."

"I'm not-" she started but the waiter arrived with their drinks. She gave the waiter a strained smile.

After he left she said "I'm not doing that." Her eyes held his. "All I am saying is I think you need to know that I am not expecting us to end up together for the long term because I've always known I'd end up alone. And I'm okay with that. No, its not what I wanted at first but I've come to terms with it and I...don't want to lie to you or myself...but even though this can't last for years, it is still not casual for me." She paused, sitting back in the booth and giving him a long look. "If you can deal with what I've just said, knowing there is nothing long term coming out of this, then I think we could have a fantastic time together still, just as long as we stay in the right now."

"I've always known I'd end up alone too. At best I'd be a serial monogamist, kinda like Rossi but without the legal pieces of paper involved because I can't see myself getting married ever. Marriage is mainly for the making of a family unit, and I already have a family, or the rearing of children, and I never plan to have kids. So there would be no reason for me to get married."

"Sure there would be: love."

"Romantic love is just a chemical trick of the brain, nothing more."

"That's kinda a sad way to think."

"Have you ever been in love where you didn't regret it later?"

"No but-"

"I'm not looking to fall in love, Emily. I just wanted something more than hooking up during cases. I demand to be treated better than that. If that is too much for you to handle then we shouldn't spend anymore nights together."

"I want something more too, very much so."

"For the short term only though, right?"

"I'm sorry I can't offer you anything else. I wish I could but long term just isn't in the cards for me right now."

"At least you're honest."

"Is it enough then?"

"I guess it will have to be."

Emily moved to Reid's side of the booth and he looked startled. He asked "What are you doing?"

She looped her arms around his neck and nuzzled his nose with hers. "Don't you know that this is what couple's do? They embarrass everyone around with their public displays of affection."

She caught his lips in a kiss. At first he was stiff but then he let out a very soft groan and softened, as he wrapped her in his arms and returned her kiss. They kept sharing small kisses and teasing back and forth, lightening the mood, until the waiter brought their food.

Reid was glad that he now knew where Emily's thoughts were but he was slightly sad that she was so sure they wouldn't want to get serious together. He hadn't truly expected she'd ever want to be with him so, he told himself, he shouldn't be upset if she wasn't the type to do long term relationships. He wasn't even sure how he'd feel about her and this in a few months.

But it was a little disheartening to know she was sure: sure that they wouldn't fall in love.