Disclaimer and A/N: I use the characters and situations from the TV series Kim Possible to write these stories. They are owned by Disney and I receive no pay. Ron, Bonnie, Tara, Felix, Wade and Rufus are a team of aliens from Intergalactic Justice to help our world and observe the population. Mischief, merriment and murder ensue. Yes, it's time for another I.J. mission.

Warning: There are a couple of swear words in this chapter.

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Chapter 8: Sri Lanka Solution

"I still don't understand why I can't go along!" Kim wailed into her bedsheets. "He's my second cousin too, now that we're married!" She buried her head in her pillow and sobbed.

Ron sat down on the bed next to her. He placed a hand on her shaking shoulder and rubbed gently. "I know that, but I don't want you to fall behind in your school work or cheer practice. I'm only going because Mom and Dad are in Las Vegas at a Actuary's Convention for the week and they said they weren't to be disturbed for anything. Actually I think they went there because all our... friskiness... has gotten them a little horny. Imagine what that could bring about. I might get a new brother or sister and you'd get a sibling-in-law." He violently shivered, as all kids do, at the though of his parents going at it in bed.

Kim's tears stopped. She sniffled and giggled. "Yeah, that would be something. Your brother or sister the same age as our kid?"

"Anyway," Ron continued, "I'll be able to call you every day." He pulled a black device that looked identical to the Kimmunicator out of his cargo pocket and show it to her. "I had Wade whip this up for me. He called it a Ronunicator."

"Really?" Kim sat up and gazed at it. "You'll call me every day?"

Ron smiled. "I promise I will call you every day when it's nine AM and PM here. I think there's a twelve hour time difference but I'll take my watch along and keep it set to Middleton time."

"Twelve hours?" Kim marveled. "You'll be half way around the globe. Where is your cousin anyway?"

"He's doing some relief work in Sri Lanka," Ron grimly stated. "He got injured unloading a truck of supplies when a band of rebel attacked." His head cocked to one side as he thought aloud, "Or was it the other guys?"

"I still think I should go!" Kim huffed. "You know I'm not afraid of a little danger and you might need help."

Ron pulled his wife into an embrace. "I know you're not afraid of anything. But with all the... well, with making out as much as we've have you might already be pregnant and I wouldn't want anything to happen to our child." He released the hug and held her at arms length. "Beside, I'll be in and out in less than four, five hours tops. I can also make a quick pit stop at Yamanouchi to say Hi to Sensei and Yori and ask them about the triple M stuff we've been wondering about. Kill two birds before crossing the finishing line."

Kim scowled at him. "You're mixing again."

Ron looked at the alarm clock next to the bed. "I gotta go if I want to catch my plane. I'll see you the day after tomorrow or Tuesday and talk to you later tonight when I'm on the plane."

Kim wrapped her arms around Ron and squeezed him tight. "You keep your head down and in the game. If your cousin can get hurt, so can you. And be sure to call me as soon as you're on the plane out of there. I don't care what time it is. I don't think I'm going to get any sleep until you're safely out of the country."

"Head down, in game, no hurt, call home. Got it Mommy!" Ron said playfully.

Kim sniffled/laughed. "I like the sound of that. I'm sure our child will find your sense of humor funny too. Let's make sure you meet him."

"Or her, Mommy."

Kim pushed Ron off the bed, out the bedroom door and down the stairs. She kissed him passionately as he was half way out the front door and kicked him in the butt to get him into the taxi.

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Felix, Tara, Bonnie and Ron pulled their black stocking cap, ski masks down to conceal their faces before entering the tent that they had put up as their makeshift conference room. The four spread out and stopped just inside the tent flaps and peered at the occupants. Four men to the left and four to the right were crowded opposite each other at a folding table in the middle of the tent. Four other occupants stood in the four corners and we're dressed similarly to the outsiders from Middleton: Black ski mask, Black SAS wool sweater, black rip-stop nylon pants and shiny black combat boots and gloves. They all carried serious weapons.

Ron walked to the head of the table while Felix went to the foot. Bonnie and Tara each took a side and backed up as far as they could go, their backs to the canvas tent wall. Ron pulled a very large, extremely menacing looking combat knife from his belt and slammed the tip into the table top, releasing it quickly so it quivers for over a minute in the wood surface of the table.

"All right people listen up," Ron growled. "You all speak English right?" The four men on each side of the table looked to their group and nodded to each other. "I can't hear you!" he almost yelled. "Does anyone not understand what I'm saying!" One man at the end of the left side of the table leaned over to the person next to him and whispered something. Ron's hand shot straight up, twisted slightly and a shuriken appeared. Ron's wrist snapped sharply and the throwing star embedded in the table in front of the whisperer. Ron leaned in and addressed the man. "What did you just say?"

The person next to the whisperer spoke up. "He was asking me what you were saying. He speaks only Tamil."

In one smooth quick motion, Ron grabbed the knife from the table as he stepped back slightly then leaned in. The dirk flew swift and true into the non-English speaking man's chest.

Bonnie stepped up to the corpse, removed the knife and star and slid them back to Ron.

Ron leaned onto the table. "Now we're all on the same page." He looked over the three remaining men to his left. "You are Tamil Tigers." The three nodded and all said yes. Ron looked over to the right side of the table. The four men in front of Tara cringed slightly at the hooded figure. "And you four are Sinhalese." They nodded weakly. "We," Ron indicating the black clad figures, "are in charge of this 'Peace Conference' (Ron used air quotes to make a sarcastic point,) and you don't need to know who we are."

Ron stood upright and folded his arms over his chest. "Now that the introductions are done I'll lay down the ground rules. You will follow them at all times. One, you will speak only when spoken to. Two, you will never interrupt. Three, There will be no back talk. And Four! We will not take a break until we make peace. That will be in less than five hours cause we have a plane to catch." He looked around the table at the seven seated men. "If anyone violates any of these rules, that person will be punished. SEVERLY!" Ron leaned back onto the table and snarled, "Are those ruled clear!" All seven nodded their heads.

One man on Ron's right raised his hand. Ron stood up, snickered and went into a sort of an announcer's voice. "Oh, by the way, no questions from the audience will be accepted at any time. We will take questions at the end of the session and they must be submitted in writing, in triplicate which means..." Ron stood tall, crossed his arms and yelled, "NO QUESTIONS AT ANY TIME!"

Ron started to pace at the head of the table as he talked. "Now. The situation here in Sri Lanka, as I see it, is you two factions have been squabbling over who will rule the country. The Sinhala," he motioned to the four on his right, "are in the majority with about seventy five percent of the population. The Tamil," indicating the three on his left, "have just under twenty percent. So basically we have over ninety percent of the country represented here. Now the Tamil are in the north and east while the Sinhalese are basically in the south, center and west. We decided to bring you here to the central highlands just outside of city of Kandy as a sorta neutral grounds." Ron waved his hand dismissively, "I know I know. Kandy isn't exactly neutral territory but it is centrally located on this island country and it is in the highlands so it's a bit cooler here than on the coast." He smiled a wicked smile at the seated men. "That might keep my hot temper in check a bit."

Ron stopped his pacing and leaned on the table. "I hope you don't mind if I ramble a bit. I'm just trying to get all this straight in my mind."

Ron started to pace again. "Now we've done a little fact finding and found the chief export is textiles and garments. You also strip mine minerals and gems and you are just getting into the tourism gig." Ron stopped and leaned on the table. "Just an F Y I bulletin people. Civil war does not lead to very many tourist visiting your country. If you'd like to get the beau coup buck from that, you're going about it the wrong way."

Ron paced again. "Now religion. Mainly Buddhist and some Hindu. That's interesting. Why would two religions that believe all life is sacred be killing each other? Do you guys want to go backward on your climb up the ladder of enlightenment? Or, do you just not care about your beliefs?

"Now this civil war has been nasty, extremely nasty. Close to SEVENTY THOUSAND dead since the unrest... HELL!" Ron threw his hands in the air in disgust, "let's just call it what it is. Since this MASSACRE started. And you don't care who dies. Civilians and refugees have been the big losers." He looked over at Bonnie and winked. "You've bombed refugee camps and used them as human shields to fire your big guns at each other. French relief workers, who have been trying to help both side, have died. You've assassinated politicians which," Ron stopped in his tracks and cocked his head to one side, "normally, where we come from, wouldn't be a bad idea." Ron paced. "But that's not the point. The point is, you're killing a lot of the people you're fighting for and some others that are only here to help."

Ron looked down the table to Felix. "Hey F. What do you think we should do?"

Felix took a step forward. "Well R, I think we should set off a nuclear bomb or two to scrub the country clean and start over. They don't care if anyone lives or dies and it doesn't appear if they care for the land. They're de-foresting the land then stripping the mineral wealth away. Maybe just a neutron bomb. That'll clear the place of the people only." Felix stepped back to his place.

"Thank you F." He turned to Tara. "T, what do you think?"

Tara giggled slightly before saying, "I think these people should be given another chance. If they mend their ways and start believing in human rights, which neither side seems to care about, they might make peace and create a Utopia here."

Ron looked at Bonnie and sighed. "I know you have something to say B. Whatcha got?"

Bonnie took a step and sighed audibly. "This war has been going on since Nineteen Eighty Three! That's longer than I've been alive. If they haven't learned to control their animal urge to kill or be killed by now, I doubt they ever will. I say isolate the country and drop a shit load of weapons over the entire island. The last man or woman alive will decide how to rule." No one could see the snarky smile behind her hood as she quickly stepped back. The three other teens from Middleton knew it was there.

"All interesting ideas," Ron sang as he leaned on the table. "Some a bit impractical. Where would we get a shit load of weapons? Give them half of ours?" The four teens giggled and laughed. "And where would be get a tactical nuke? Borrow or steal it from India? I don't think they have neutron bombs, just the nasty, garden variety kind that leave nothing but a wasteland. And as for letting them learn from their mistakes? I'll have to go with B. If it hasn't happened in twenty four years, I'm not sure if it will ever happen. Now personally, I've always enjoyed the deadly virus approach. It's so random and slow. I know we didn't have any luck with the HIV strain, but we released that on a large continent and it wasn't lethal or quick enough. The Killer African Bees was also a good idea. But, then again, it wasn't implemented correctly." He cocked his head and thought aloud, "E-bola almost worked."

Ron leaned onto the table again, staring at the seven seated representatives. "Now, what I want you to do is, one by one, taking turns like we were all taught in school, take a minute to speak your mind about your side and how we can improve the current situation. I will not tolerate any slander or name calling. I don't even want to know your name. I know you are all top representatives of your factions but, WE. DON'T. CARE. WHO. YOU. ARE! We're here to broker a deal everyone can LIVE with. You will state a fact or two or plead your case to us. He glared at the man to his immediate right. "You. Your name is Fred for the night. Tell us Fred, how would you run the country? You have one minute."

'Fred' stood, leaned on the table towards Ron and pleaded, "One minute is not enough!"

Ron's hand moved faster than the eye could follow. He snatched the knife laying in front of him and buried it into the table in front of 'Fred,' impaling the man's hand. 'Fred' screamed in pain and tried to extricate his wounded extremity. It was pinned to the table until Ron leaned over and yanked the knife out. Tara bodily spun the man around, quickly bound it with a clean rag and slammed the man back in his chair.

Ron turned to one of the Southeast Asia I.J. Agents and said, "These guys aren't gonna cooperate. You got the next batch ready?" The black hooded person nodded slowly. "Good. When we're done with this lot, we'll take twenty minutes to clean up the blood and dispose of the bodies before we bring in the next group." He sighed and looked around the table. "But... I guess we need to give this bunch a chance first."

Ron stood up and wiped the knife blade on the side of the table. "Now, you've just seen what violating rule number three, no back talk, entails." He turned to the Tamil Tiger to his left. "Ginger, let's hear from you."

The man stood and folded his hand in front of him. "I am..." he shot a look at Ron and slowly faced the table again. "I do not like the way the Sinhalese have continued the policies that the British had in place. It is unfair to selectively choose a person for higher education merely because he is Sinhalese. The Tamil are a brave intelligent people. We wish to further our education too. Yet, I was denied a chance to enter college simply because I am Tamil. I could speak of other injustices but I believe my minute is up." The man slowly, proudly sat down.

Ron applauded lightly. "Very good Ginger. Well spoken and a good point too." Ron leaned onto the table. "As T mentioned earlier, human rights have been thrown out the window in this conflict and that is just one example. Ron pointed to the second man on the Sinhalese side. "You, Gene. You have one minute."

'Gene' stood and bowed to Ron. "I'd like to thank our honored hosts for bringing us together. I have been trying to do this for many years."

"Don't squander your time," Ron chided. "You have fifty seconds."

"Thank you," Gene chimed. "The obvious solution is to cede land to the Tamil people so they may create there own country. The border is the only thing in dispute at the present. Much valuable land is in contention and if we could only settle on a equitable boundary, this war would be over. Thank you for letting me speak." The man bowed and sat down.

"Gene," Ron addressed the man. "You still have a bit less than thirty seconds. Do you have an equitable boundary in mind?"

'Gene' stood. "I have poured over the maps for many years and can find no solution that would satisfy both sides. I am at a loss and have failed in the en devour. But I will continue to toil until the task is complete."

"You are a fan of Robert Frost. 'And miles to go before I sleep.' Right Gene?" Ron asked.

"Exactly." Gene said with a tear in his eye.

Ron turned to the table. "Is anyone else here familiar with the quote? You may raise your hand." None of the other six seated raised their hand. "Well, for those unfamiliar with it. The quote is from 'Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening' by Robert Frost. It goes:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep

And miles to go before I sleep.

"What Frost is saying there is the world is a wondrous place with lots of distractions, lovely dark and deep. But he has a promise, or a job, to do and he'll keep at it until it's done or until he dies, before he sleeps the big sleep He won't get distracted by anything else. Interesting idea isn't it. I betcha both side of this conflict feel the same way. They want to win the territory they think they need and they'll keep at their task, not being lured away from it, until the job is complete and they win."

Ron walked over to the right side of the table. "T, would you take over please?"

Tara took Ron's place at the head of the table while Ron stood where she had been stationed. "Now," she said loudly, "Just because I'm a woman and R isn't in your face anymore, don't think this will get any easier." Tara whipped out a pair of butterfly blade knifes and exhibited her skills opening and closing them with speed and agility. She ended the demonstration by slamming her hands flat on the table, the knives opened, held point up between two fingers like a cigarette.

"R was trying to make a point there with the poem," Tara continued. "You are all human beings sitting around a crappy table trying to do you job and get the land your people need. We will do this people. Or," Tara closed the butterfly blades with a flourish and picked up Ron's knife. She tossed it high in the air and leaned back onto the table. The knife zipped past her ear, fell between her hands and embedded back in the table. "we will dispose of you and bring in the next group of leaders. It doesn't matter to any of us. You complete the job, or the next group, or the fiftieth group we bring in.

"Now where were we?" She looked to the second man on her left. "I believe it's your turn Van?"

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Three hours later, the four teens stepped into a black object that looked something like a delta wing Stealth Bomber. It was a little larger than the B-2 but didn't have the radical edges or high powered conventional Earth engines. Basically it was a triangular slab that used gravity for propulsion. It was, for all practical purposes, a large flying wedge with no window or door seams visible after the hatch closed. There were no engine port either, just lights on the three corners of the triangle

"That went fairly well," Bonnie chimed as she sat in a well padded, reclined lounge.

"Yeah," Felix said chuckling, "after you let it get out of hand and had everyone arguing at once. I had to put a few holes in the tent with my Walther PPK."

Bonnie smiled. "That was my plan. Give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself, or learn to tie knots. They finally learned to tie a few knots. Besides, Ron got them thinking when he said we were the cause of HIV, E-Bola and Killer Bees. That was brilliant psychological warfare."

"Hey," Ron said scratching his head, "If they believed we'd be that ruthless to solve their problem by unleashing a killer virus and wipe them off the face of the map, it only gave our cause for peace a little push."

"Do you think both sides will ratify the plan?" Tara asked Ron.

Ron leaned back in his lounge and sighed. "I hope so. It was just too hot and sticky in there, even at this altitude. If they don't, I think the Southeast Asia Branch can handle it." Ron's watch beeped. He glanced quickly at it and smiled.

All four said in unison, "Time to call the wife!"

"Hey," Ron yelled, "That's my line." He pulled his Ronunicator out of the black, rip-stop nylon cargo pants pocket and thumbed it on.

Wade popped up on the screen. "Hey Ron, how'd the mission go?"

"One dead, three injured and a holey tent, but we struck a deal I think everyone will like. We divided the country and got a big De-Militarized Zone going. The DMZ is free and clear of everyone except maybe a eco-tourist or two."

Wade grinned. "It sounds more like the Neutral Zone from Star Trek. A vast area between the Klingon, Romulan and Federation that no one enters except the occasional wanderer."

Ron laughed a little and smiled. "Wade, it's time to call the wife. Can you make it look like I'm on a plane headed to Japan?"

"You want the back drop of First Class or Coach?"

Ron thought for a second. "Better make it Coach. I told her I was sick of spending money, which I am. Oh, when you mix in the background noises, can you skip the crying baby?"

"What?" Wade groaned, "I like the crying baby. It lends authenticity."

"Wade!" Ron said sternly, "No crying baby Please! And could you calculate the flight time home with a one hour lay-over in Tokyo? I think it's probably around three and a half or four hours but my mind is kinda fuzzy right now. I need some wine."

Wade did his fast typing act for three seconds and said, "Flight time with a one hour layover would be three hours, thirty eight minutes. Good calculations. I'll put Kim through."

Kim's image replace Wade. She appeared to be lying on her back in bed. Ron could see part of the pillow her head was on. Her smile practically beamed as she chirped, "Ron Dear, you're alright?"

"Hi Sweetheart," Ron sighed. "Yeah, it was a bit harrowing but I got my cousin and me out safely."

"What happened?'

Ron frowned, "You want the long version or short?"

Kim rolled onto her stomach and placed the Kimmunicator on the bed against the scrunched up sheets.. She propped her head in her hands on bent elbows and sighed, "I want to hear the whole story."

"Well," Ron sighed, "I flew into Madras India and took a connecting flight to Colombo, the Capital. I was able to charter a small jet to Kandy but had to parachute out when the pilot got an emergency call to head north. I was able to land about a mile from the refugee aid station my cousin was last reported at. Luckily he was still there. He only sustained minor injuries. Well, minor for this war. He lost a finger off his right hand and got a few scrapes and bruises. Seems the flat bed truck he was helping off load took a direct hit from a grenade. The guy on the opposite side of the truck got metal shrapnel to the chest and died."

"That's terrible Ron," Kim moaned. "What were they unloading?"

"It was some medical supplies and they were just outside the camp," Ron said with a tear in his eye. "The rebels were using the camp as a human shield so their cannons could fire on the government troops."

Tears filled Kim's eyes and she groaned, "That's horrible, that's despicable, that's..." the next word caught in Kim's throat with all the sorrow and anger she felt.

"My cousin and I did as much as we could to help the injured until it was time to leave for the airport. We stole an army jeep and I musta broke every speed limit and about nine hundred other laws to get there on time." Kim could see Ron was visibly shaking as he spoke. "My cousin barely made his flight back to Norway and I had about two minutes to spare before my flight started to board. As my plane was leaving the gate I saw some army guys looking out the windows of the passenger area. I think they were looking for me."

"No!" Kim exhaled as she rolled over on her back and held the Kimmunicator at arms length in the air above her head. "So your cousin's okay?"

"He said he will be as soon as he gets a plate of cabbage and meat cakes."

Kim giggled. "And your on your way to Tokyo to see Sensei?"

"Tokyo yes, Sensei, I don't know," Ron said with a shrug. "Wade thinks he might have a way to get me home faster if I arrive in Japan on time. He's trying to hold a spot for me on a G.J. jet. Otherwise I won't make it to school tomorrow. It is Sunday back there, isn't it?"

"Yep," Kim chirped, then frowned. "It's Sunday, my husband is out of the country and I won't get to see him until tomorrow at the earliest."

"Well, I suppose you have a few boy toy hunks waiting in the next bed," Ron slyly smirked, "filling in for him until he gets back."

Kim smirked back. "Only five or six, but I got bored with them so I sent them packing. They couldn't hold a candle to my husband. He's just so badical," she chortled.

Ron's goofy grin spread. "BooYah. Sounds a lot like the wife I have stashed away somewhere in Colorado." Sadness filled his face as he continued. "Kim, I really miss you."

Kim purred, "And you have no idea how much I miss you."

They both heard a PING! and Ron looked up. "Oh shoot! Sorry Kim, but they want me to turn off all electrical devices. I gotta go. I love you."

"And I love you to Ron," Kim cooed as the screen went black.

Ron accepted the glass of white wine from Bonnie with a quick thanks and greedily sipped the fermented grape juice. He sighed as he laid back in his seat and switched on the monitor in the wall that acted as a window. He watched the ground slowly sink beneath them as their craft, with Felix at the controls, rose in the air and moved forward.

Ron got his MP5 music machine out of a cargo pocket in the wall and put the ear buds in his ears. He thumbed through the thousands of recorded songs, moving to the one he knew he had to listen to. He once heard a radio DJ claim the song was the first power love ballad. He wasn't sure if that was true or not. He just loved the song. From the first time he heard it many many years ago, he thought of what life would be like if Kim would ever return his affections. As he listened to the beginning sounds of rain, he took a last sip of wine, laid fully back in the chair and closed his eyes.

The simple cords and doodling of the piano started. A rumble of the drums started low, like thunder. The piano tinkled low mimicking the drums, then went high on the upper keys like heavy rain hitting a tin roof A cymbal crashed like lightning. Three simple keys played a few times before the lyrics, sung magnificently by Roger Daltrey, started and a tear crept to the corner of his eye.

Only love, can make it rain

The way the beach is kissed by the sea.

Only love, can make it rain

Like the sweat of lovers

Laying in the fields.

Love, reign o'er me.

Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er, me reign o'er me.

Ron looked at the view screen portal that showed the stars above them, trying to catch a glimpse of his home Sun. He wasn't sure if he could even it from this side of the globe since he wasn't that good at astral-navigation to begin with. He only knew it was somewhere in the heavens where the constellation Scorpio shone bright. Ron looked again and was surprised at what he thought he saw. Did he just connect a couple of the twinkling lights together in his mind and find Kim's smiling image there, or was it just his imagination? They flew into a storm and the view screen showed water droplets streaking across the imagery window.

Only love can bring the rain

That makes you yearn to the sky.

Only love can bring the rain

That falls like tears from on high.

Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.

Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.

Ron thought back to the mission with Kim when they had separated to try and locate Duff Killigan in the vast, barren highlands of Scotland. He got lost for two day, wandering around the moonless, sparsely vegetated expanse, before he found and took down the Mad Golfing Scotsman. Kim showed up just as Duff was being placed in the Police Lorry.

On the dry and dusty road

The nights we spent apart alone

I need to get back home

To cool, cool rain.

I can't sleep and I lay and I think

The nights are hot and black as ink

Oh God, I need a drink

Of cool, cool rain.

Ron switched the view portal from the outside image to a picture presentation of every snapshot he could ever find of Kim. He brushed the image of her with a finger. Hefelt extremely grateful that her parents loved to take pictures of the family as he listened to the magic fingers of Pete Townshend dance precisely and sparingly, but oh so boldly, across the strings of the electric guitar.

Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, hold me, hold me, whoa.

Love, reign o'er me. O'er me.

LOVE...

Ron smiled softly to himself as he turned off the music and view screen, laid an arm over his eyes and tried to sleep, thinking of his new life and wife.

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A/N: I know I've never seen a songfic in the middle of a story, but I just had to use it here. I wrote something like this, with this particular song, a long time ago and been looking for somewhere to put it. If you don't think a sonfic should be in a story, let me know. If you think it's appropriate, I'd love to hear that too. Of course the song is Love, Reign O'er Me by THE WHO.

The situation in Sri Lanka is dire and I tried to portray it accurately here. I know my solution to the conflict would never resolve the war there.

Was Kim a tad out of character at the beginning of the chapter? Maybe. But can anyone tell me when the hormonal mood swings start in a pregnant woman?