Disclaimer and A/N: Darn! I don't own the Kim Possible franchise. If I did, I'd be making money along with receiving your wonderful comments and review. I just love reviews. Wade, Tara, Rufus, Ron, Felix and Bonnie are agents from a far off galaxy. Ah, you know the story line. No StD and all episodes of the show are fair game to play around with.

Warning: More naked talk.

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Chapter 11 Rumors and Shego

"Sorry we planned the housewarming party without you Monique," Kim Stoppable said as the two girls walked up the hall to their lockers.

"That's alright Kim," Monique said and shrugged. "So I had to work. What did I miss?"

Kim bowed her head and slyly glanced up toward her girlfriend. "You want to know everything?"

Monique rolled her eyes. "Everything except the part where you and your ball and chain were making out." She peered at the ceiling and loudly stated to the entire school, "I have got to get me a boyfriend!"

"Well, Ron, Tara and I went over to Bonnie's house and sat out by the pool," Kim stated as fact. She tentatively went on. "When we got there, we learned about the pool rules."

Monique grabbed Kim by the shoulders and bodily slammed both of them into the lockers on the wall. She whispered, "You mean THE Rockwaller Naked Pool Rules?" She leaned in further. "I heard she got down and dirty with the entire football team, all naked and glistening in the pool. They had to drain the water afterwards because it was all sticky and full of..."

"MONIQUE!" Kim squealed. She regained her composure. "Please, please don't spread that rumor! I would never, ever believe that. Even Bonnie wouldn't be that ..." Kim shuddered. "What Tara told me is some of the team was over for a party, but nothing went on in the pool. Bonnie got caught doing it with Brick in her room. The other rule of her pool is, if two participate all must participate, even the guys with the guys."

Monique held her hands up defensively. "I'm just reporting what I heard, Kim." She thought a brief second. "Though I did get that scoop from an enemy of one of the girls who supposedly partook in the festivities."

"That would explain the false info," Kim exhaled in relief. The two girls giggled.

They started to walk again. "So tell me all about you're foray into Villa Rockwaller," Monique begged.

"When we got out to the pool," Kim started, "Bonnie greeted us without any clothes on and Tara stripped down to nothing in a flash." Kim snapped her fingers.

"Yeah! Yeah?" Monique enthused and egged her on.

Kim blushed. 'Well after we gave in to the pool dress code, Ron had a," Ahem, she cleared her throat to make an obvious point, "problem, with the rule at first, but after Bonnie broke down into tears and Tara told us about what had gone on at the parties before, thing's settled down."

"Ron had a little problem?" Monique held her finger and thumb up, about four inched apart.

Kim's blush deepened. "No. No, his problem, has never been little." Monique held her hands four inches apart and started to widen the gap. After ten or twelve seconds Kim finally tittered uncontrollably. Monique's mouth hung open in amazement as Kim continued. "Anyway, we all sat around and worked out the details for the party. We also took a few breaks, swam a few times and I had my first glass of wine. It was quite an afternoon."

They arrived at Monique's locker. As she opened the door she sassed, "You don't look any tanner. I guess your Ronnie-kins helped with your sunblock."

"Yeah," Kim laughed tentatively as she leaned against the wall and scratched the back of her head.

"Realllllly!" Monique said in disbelief. She leaned over to Kim as she closed the locker door and whispered, "So who else helped?"

"Wellll," Kim looked away from her friend. "Tara and I needed to apply block at one point so we helped each other." She twisted to look Monique in the eye. "But we only did each other's backs." Kim peered off into the distance. "That girl has the softest touch," she mused. "Almost as nice as Ron's." They walked down the hallway a few steps.

"Uh huh." Monique stared at Kim for a moment as they reached Kim's locker. "So... was this before or after the wine?" the dark skinned girl said with a hint of innuendo.

"Monique!" Kim squealed in disgust, got a few books out of her locker and slammed the door. "It wasn't like that. I had half a glass of white wine. I was in complete control. I didn't even get a buzz from it."

Monique turned to go to class but Kim grabbed her arm and spun her friend around to face her. "Don't you dare start a rumor about me and Tara. Nothing! Happened! It was just two friends helping each other apply sunblock."

Monique sighed. "Okay Kim. But the rumor mill is running out of steam about you and Ron. If you want to keep your name in the game, you gotta give me some dirt. You are my fav person to dish about."

The two started to walk as the first bell rang. "You really get off on the rumor mill stuff," Kim said in wonderment.

"What can I say," Monique shrugged, "it's a gift. The way I see it, rumors have been, and always will be around. Somebody's got to get a handle on them, and I happen to be the handle for this school," she stated proudly.

They arrived at the classroom and stopped outside the door. "Hey," Monique said, looking around. "Somethings not right here. We just walked the halls for five minutes and your husband wasn't by your side. Where is that man?"

Kim thumbed the direction of the intersection ten feet away. "He spent his free period in the Art Room creating the invitations for our housewarming party. He should be arriving in," she looked at her watch, "three... two ... one."

Ron came around the corner speed walking, carrying a box. "Hey Monique," he sang as he stepped up to his wife and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Hi Darling, miss me?'

"STOPPABLE!"

"Oh, Schnitzel Gruber!" Ron swore as the three spun and saw Mr. Barkin walking towards them. Ron's demeanor flip flopped as he beamed, "Mr. B, just the guy I wanted to see! I was just whispering in Kim's ear, saying we gotta find you and give you this." He reached into the box, pulled out an envelope and handed it to the Vice Principal.

"Whispering huh?" Barkin glared at Ron, then took a good look at the envelope. "An invitation?"

"Yes," Kim said quickly. "We just got our own house and wanted to invite you to the housewarming party a week from Saturday. We thought it'd be nice to have our rugby team Captain there to celebrate with us," she enthused with an arm pump.

Monique slyly stared at Kim and Ron. "Smooth move you two," she uttered.

Mr. Barkin smiled. "I'd be happy to come to your party. Do you need me to bring anything? I make a mean Simian Stew." He leaned over and confidentially whispered, "I created it myself when I was a cook in the Army."

Ron nervously laughed and scratched his head. "No, no you don't need to bring anything. We're having the food catered."

"Well okay," Barkin sighed and looked off in the distance, lost in thought. "I guess it would've been hard to get the monkey meat on such short notice anyway. Import permits and such."

Kim started to back into the classroom. "We need to get to class so, we'll see you at the party. Come on Ron, Monique." The three teens went to their desks.

"Sorry Dearest Heart," Ron solemnly said as he hung his head. "I wasn't thinking when I kissed you. When Barkin caught me..."

Kim waved him off. "That's alright Sweetie. I was going to suggest we invite him anyway. He is the Captain of the rugby team and someone who's been majorly in both our lives throughout high school."

"I just didn't want to get detention," Ron said with a smile. "We got a lot to move into the house tonight and I want to be there when we get the keys after school."

Monique squealed, "You two are moving in today? Can I help? I don't have ta work tonight!"

The bell rang for class to begin. "Sure Monique," Kim gleefully said. "And when were done we'll sit out by the pool where the Stoppable Naked Pool Rules will be in force."

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Monique laid out on her towel by the pool's edge, dangling a leg in the water. "Man! This place is Rad! It was great for your folks to just leave after dinner."

"Yeah," Kim intoned as she spooned into Ron's back on the huge chaise lounge a few feet away. "I think they want us to break in the new bedroom furniture right away. Mom so wants us to have kids, and soon."

Ron laced his fingers with Kim's. "Hon, your Dad told me not to tell you, but when we had our little talk he said your Mom is experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome. He told me she's been trying to bury herself in her work, but she really needs to pamper a baby."

Kim nibbled on Ron's ear and said quietly, "I thought as much. I try to ask her for help with problems whenever I can, but I really don't need it much anymore and the tweebs certainly don't want it."

"And your Dad is just a big kid at heart anyway and wants some responsibility again," Monique chimed in.

"Soooo, Monique," Ron said slyly, "are you gonna take off your robe and get with the pool rules or are we gonna have to kick you out?"

"I don't want to," she said flatly.

"Are you afraid," Kim challenged. "You're not worried the problem we talked about will come up, are you? I mean now that you've seen..."

"Problem?" Ron queried, "what problem?"

Kim kissed Ron's earlobe. "Nothing for you to worry about Dear. It's just girl stuff."

"Whatever you say, LOML." Ron said and kissed Kim's hand.

"Well Monique?" Kim pushed.

"Did Ron just use an acronym?" Monique asked.

"Answer the question," Kim said.

"What's it mean Ron?" Monique asked. "Love Of My Life?"

"Answer the question!" the redhead growled loudly.

"Yes," Ron said happily, "and you better answer Kim's question. Why are you afraid of removing your robe?"

"I," Monique said aloud and mumbled something incomprehensible.

Kim got up from the chaise and walked over to her friend. "I didn't hear you. What did you say?"

"I said," Monique meekly muttered, "I haven't let anyone see me naked since I got out of diapers." She slung an arm over her face in shame. "You know I never take a shower after gym class."

Kim sat cross legged near her girlfriend's head. "Why are you ashamed of your body? You have a great figure." She laid her hand on Monique's shoulder. "Everybody thinks their body isn't perfect. My thighs are too big from working out and the cheering and Martial Arts. And don't get me started on my breasts."

Ron walked over to the girls. "But I like the way Kim looks. I thinks she's beautiful just the way she is." Ron sat down next to Kim. "Now, my shoulders are too slopey and my ears are too big."

"And that's the way I like my Ron," Kim enthused. "We've shared, now out with it. What's wrong with your body?"

"I think..." Monique paused and inhaled deeply, letting it out slow. "I think my body is too perfect." She rolled over on her stomach, pushed herself up to her knees and swung her legs around under her to sit cross legged like Kim. "I guess my problem started when Mom and I watch an after school special on TV when I was real young. The main character had a great body and was date raped. I figured if she got it with her almost perfect bod, I would definitely turn some guy on way too much and get the same. That's why I'm so into fashion. I want people to focus on my clothes, not on me."

"Hey, it's just us," Ron said sincerely, "and Kim's all I want or can handle. Sometimes she's too much to handle," he laughed and blew an air kiss towards his wife.

"I love you too Ron," Kim blushed and blew a kiss back at him. "So you don't have to worry about Ron going Ga Ga over your bod. Are you worried I'll suddenly go all AC/DC on you?"

"No I..."

Ron stood up and stepped to the edge of the pool. "It's okay Monique. You don't have to disrobe if you don't want to, but we'll have to ask you to leave. We don't want to set a president." Ron dove in.

The two girls watched Ron cross his arms and legs and sit on the bottom of the pool. Kim said, "He'll stay down there until you either take off that robe or leave. You'd better make up your mind quickly, he can only hold his breath for three minutes."

Monique stood and fumbled with the tie on her robe. Finally she got it loose and shed the last piece of clothing. "There! You happy now?"

Kim gave her friend the once over, shrugged and said, "Eh!" She walked to the pool and slapped the surface.

Ron came up and stopped with the water at eye level. He blew the rest of the air from his lungs out his mouth and finally rose to take a breath. "Nice body Monique," he said and swam away to the far ladder. He quickly got out, grabbed a towel and dried himself. "So what do you want to do? You wanna play cards? Go for a walk and check out the stables? How about a game of Charades?"

"So you two are okay with me like this?" Monique said in exasperation.

Kim smiled. "In ten minutes you won't even think about being in the buff. It'll be perfectly normal. The only thing you need to remember is to sit on a towel."

Rufus came scurrying out of the doggy door and past by the two girls. He squeaked, "Hi Monique," and continued on into the cabana.

"See," Kim said triumphantly, "Rufus doesn't mind you don't have anything on either."

"Yeah," Monique dead panned. "But he's naked all the time."

"I know," Ron said in a flash of inspiration, "we need to check out the wine cellar!"

Kim went over to Ron and gave him a peck on the lips. "We do, but we should probably wait for Bonnie or someone that knows which wine is what to tell us what we have. I think we had something called fume at Bonnie's house. It sounded like a cars exhaust, but was very good."

"It's pronounced fū-may'," Monique corrected Kim. "It's a semi-dry white wine."

"You know about wine?" Kim and Ron said in unison.

"Of course," Monique said, nonchalantly. "Didn't you know my Mom's a wine broker? I help her out every once in a while when I'm not working."

"Would you like to show us what we have in our cellar?" Kim begged. "Please... please, please, please please, PLEASE!"

Monique slipped into her sandals and walked toward the back door. "I'd be happy to."

Twenty minutes later, Ron walked down the stairs into the cellar and handed Kim her fuzzy white slippers with bunny ears. He shrugged, "They're the first things I saw. They'll keep your bare feet from getting cold on the concrete floor."

Kim slipped them on and took a step. "SQUEAK-KA!" The three teens looked at the slippers. Kim took another step. "SQUEAK-KA!" They all laughed.

"Your inventory is very impressive," Monique said in amazement. "The previous owners just left this for you?"

"Yeah," Ron said. "Ted and Ginger got their new house in Milwaukee for free and we got this place as it is. The only things we needed to buy was a master bedroom suite and the dishes, pots, pans and silverware."

"We didn't even have to pay any of the usual deed transfer costs," Kim added. The three teens climbed the stairs to the living room, Kim's feet squeaking all the way. "The Colorado state Governor saw to that."

Ron scratched the back of his head. "And my Dad found out the city is waiving the property tax for as long as we own the place."

"Really?" Monique marveled, "Why?"

"It was no big," Kim said. "The street maintenance workers couldn't get to the city garage during that blizzard last year. Ron and I got there and we each took a snow plow out and picked up the street crews."

"And after we got them to work, we helped plow the streets for what," Ron questioned Kim, "twenty hours that day?"

Kim nodded, "And twelve hours the next."

"Well, it's been fun," Monique said with a smile as she looked at her watch, "but I should get going. It's a school day tomorrow and I need to check over my homework."

"You can stay the night if you'd like," Kim sincerely said.

"No," Monique wickedly smiled and winked. "I'll leave you two alone for your first night in your own home." She walked to the front door and opened it to leave.

"Ah, Monique, you forgot your car keys," Ron said cautiously and pointed to her body. "And something else."

Monique looked down and gasped. She slammed the door shut. "OH, DOUBLE SNAP!"

Monique heard Ron and Kim laugh as she walked out to the pool, put her shirt and pants on and walk back into the house.

"I guess you were right," Monique laughed. "I didn't even think about being naked."

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Kim and Ron were putting the last of their new pots and pans (carefully hand selected by Ron at the finest culinary store in all of Middleton, of course,) away when the phone rang. "I didn't know it was hooked up," Ron said in amazement. He picked up the receiver and answered, "Hello?"

"STOPPABLE!" the female voice at the other end yelled, "What the HELL did you do!?"

"Shego?" Ron queried.

"Shego?!?" Kim said warily.

"Yeah, it's me! How could you jump two stages and marry the Princess? What am I suppose to do now that you two are retired?"

"How did you get through to this phone?" Ron asked the green-hued foe.

Shego let out a low growl, then answered. "Wade worked his computer Voodoo so I could get through, but you still don't have real phone service yet. Now answer my question. What am I suppose to do? Go back and work I.J. jobs with my brothers in Go City?"

"That might not be a bad idea," Ron slyly smirked. He whispered into the phone, "Or maybe you'd like to take over my position. I might be retiring from those jobs too." He noticed Kim inching her way over to where he was standing. "Anyway," he said loudly, "you're in prison now so why should we care. Kim and I are together on this," he held out his hand for Kim to take, "and you can go jump in the lake."

"So she's standing right beside you," Shego said, getting Ron's hint. "Put her on."

Ron held out the receiver. Kim cautiously took it and held it to her ear. "Shego?"

"Hi Princess," Shego said in a chatty voice, "how's life been treatin' ya?"

"Just fine," Kim smirked. "How's life in a orange jumpsuit?" She picked up the Kimmunicator from the counter, turned it on and dialed 555. She scrolled through the individual camera feed until he found the one with Shego in her cell. The green skinned woman was talking on a cell phone with three burly guards stationed outside the bars.

"The jumpsuit clashed with my skin color," Shego sniped back, "so the Warden is letting me wear my regular clothes."

"So I see," Kim slyly said. "So how did you get through to this phone?"

"I had your Nerdlinger friend do it for me," Shego sarcastically stated, "for a pack of smokes. Standard pay in prison for such a small job." Her voice became small as she continued. "What am I suppose to do now that you two have retired? You were my big thrill. The one thing I'd looked forward to. The part of my job that made sitting through all of Dr. D's rants bearable."

"I didn't know," Kim squeaked. "I don't know what to tell you. I know you'd never be happy going home to your brothers."

"You got that right!" Shego snapped in a low forceful aside.

"Have you ever thought of teaching Martial Arts?" Kim asked. "I know G.J. is always looking for instructors. The pay is good and the hours are light. I was thinking of becoming one after high school if I couldn't decide what major I wanted to pursue in college. I could teach a few classes in the morning and start taking a couple of the basic college courses at Upperton U. in the afternoon and evening. I might still do that if it works out with the baby and all."

Shego faked the shock. "What? Are you pregnant? Who knocked you up? It couldn't of been that pansy boy Josh Mankey."

"No, it wasn't Josh." Kim blushed and thanked her lucky star Shego couldn't see her that red in the face."Wait! You knew Josh is gay?"

"Hello! Isn't it obvious!"

"Am I the only one who didn't know Josh is gay," Kim asked Ron. He shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "Anyway," Kim returned her focus to the phone call, "Ron and I got married last week with our parent's blessing and orders to start a family. We just moved in to our new house this afternoon," she bragged.

"New House!" Shego yelled. "How can two high schoolers afford a new house? What is it a cracker box? No no, I know. It's a single wide trailer on the edge of town," she laughingly joked.

"Ha!" Kim snidely laughed the single syllable. "It's a two story, five bedroom, three and a half bath house situated between our parent's homes. It also features a pool, tennis court and about forty acres of pristine foothills. Ron got another royalty check and my Daddy accepted a few bounties that were on your head after we took you down."

"So, the buffoon got another ninety nine million dollar check?" Shego begged in astonishment.

"No," Kim giggled. "I have around ninety nine mill. Ron's worth a lot more."

"I am definitely on the wrong side," Shego exhaled in disgust.

"So, you want me to talk to Dr. Director for you?" Kim asked tentatively, then added, "You'd still be working for a Dr. D. All your old Dr. D jokes would be fresh and, if you work there freelance, you'd be eligible for rewards if they send you out to catch the bad guys."

Shego let out a long low growl. "It's something to think about. I can always ask Warden Wimpy to get me in touch with G.J. Ah... if I need a reference..."

"Ron and I would be happy to oblige," Kim said joyfully. "In the meantime, we'll think about what else you might be good at."

"Besides trying to kill us and coming up with pet names?" Ron interjected.

"What did Stoppable say?" Shego asked Kim.

"Nothing!" Kim took a swipe at Ron which he easily ducked. "Ron was just being his usual flippant self."

Ron got too close and Kim connected with a slap to the arm. "OUCH!"

"Thank You!" Shego chuckled at Ron's pain. "Ah, if I decide to make this happen... No, if Dr. Director hires me... Ah, if I ever get paroled... would you mind if I come and visit you two... for old times sake?"

"If you get paroled, for any reason Shego," Kim said sincerely, "we have a spare bedroom for you to stay in until you find a place of your own. Actually, I insist you do. Would you believe I've gained six pounds over the past week since we've retired? I need someone to spar with."

"What, the hubby's not doing workouts with you and busting your hump? Or is he just humping your..."

"SHEGO!" Kim blushed redder than a beet.

"Whoa Princess. Stoppable must be something in the sack to cause that reaction." Shego paused a beat and thought out loud, "I might have to take a run at him myself. You know what they say, big ears, big..."

"SHEGO!"

"What?" Shego cackled. "You want to make it a threesome? Well, I've always wondered if your collar and cuffs match."

"SHEGO!!! I'm hanging up now!" Kim quickly spat and hung up the cordless phone. She threw the receiver at Ron and stomped off, muttering loud enough for him to hear. "After I offered her a place to stay, she starts getting... ARGH!" Ron heard the TV come on extremely loud. Then, " THE NERVE OF THAT WOMAN!!"

Ron found Kim sitting in front of the TV, not watching professional wrestling. He sat down on the floor at her feet. "Kim, it's Shego," he said off handedly. "You know she like to play you. You're just a bit out of practice with the banter."

Kim's anger waned as she looked into his deep chocolate brown eyes. "I know Ron. It's just that..."

"It just that she blames you for having nothing to do now that we've retired?" Ron correctly guessed. "She's having a little identity crisis KP." HINK! it hit him. "Ah, I guess I should be calling you KS now."

Kim started to giggle. The giggle became a chortle, then a laugh and finally it emerged into an all out gut busting roar. She leapt from the chair, landing on him and smothered his face with kisses. When she came up for air she sighed, "Ron Dearest, you know just how to brighten my mood." They passionately rolled around on the floor. Neither of them noticed the channel on the television changing as the remote was occasionally squashed beneath their lust.