Tucking in his arms: easy. Bending his legs backwards: unusual. His hands disappearing into his arms: WEIRD. BUT…his head neatly folding into his body and his processor immediately utilizing his headlights and windshield as optic tools….was fascinating. Did all Autobots work like this? How could he ask without giving himself away?
They were all in a group, bunched together like the participants of the Wacky Races, waiting for him…why, he wasn't sure. Maybe he was supposed to lead. For someone who had no idea where he was going, this wasn't good. Perhaps he could use the excuse of a trailer full of wounded comrades.
"Go on ahead, I don't want the trip to be jarring for my passengers." They seemed to accept that. (Amazing, the first tug of the trailer on his hitch was different.) Optimus remained in the back. The trip was silent for the most part. Optimus wondered if he was supposed to say something. He decided against it. The Decepticons weren't much for verbal interaction, either. Although Shockwave had lectured him on the social inferiority of the Autobots, there had to be SOME similarities. If he was going to pass as one of them, there had to be, or else-
"Prahme," a voice interjected, "How are we gonna rescue the human?" He would have to ask that.
Optimus considered it. The Autobots, to his knowledge, had never successfully raided the underwater Decepticon base (not that Shockwave would admit it if they had); thus there had to be some kind of Autobot protocol involved.
"We shall discuss it later," he replied. "In a meeting."
This was the right answer, apparently. The vanette asked what time it would be, Optimus gave a vague answer, and he was left alone after that.
"He's a fake," Ironhide declared, storming into Jazz and Prowl's abode without knocking.
Prowl looked bored as he re-arranged parts of a defunct VCR. "We know that already." 'We' would be Jazz, Red Alert, and Wheeljack, who were across the room trying to out smack-talk each other on Bajo and Kazooie. Wheeljack was not used to Jazz's creative insults and kept cracking up, allowing his concentration to slip.
When would Prowl quit being such a know-it-all pain? Not today, likely. "Are we gonna confront him, then? Or didya already decide on that, too?"
Red Alert gave him a contemptuous yet sympathetic glance. "Right now, we don't have a lot to go on, so we put in some fake security codes on everything and we shall wait for him to slip up. Like we're supposed to."
Well, la-di-da. "An' if he won't slip up?"
"We could do another Imposter Race Test," Jazz supplied. "THAT worked."
Ironhide laughed, and let it go…for now. It wouldn't take long before Prime's behavior would be noticed, and Primus help them if it were a blabbermouth or someone who held a grudge who did the noticing.
"Perceptor."
Oops. He'd forgotten to fix Teletraan-1's voicebox. He'd better talk fast. "Optimus, I'm terribly sorry, I let my latest project distract me, it won't happen again-"
"Do not allow any other project be your concern at the moment than the one that is most imperative to our mission," Prime replied. His voice seemed lower, deeper, more measured. Like when they'd been alone together. It made Perceptor shiver. "Which is a request I am about to make."
"Of course, Prime." What was he supposed to say? Optimus stood before him like Sherman Dam, arms folded and optics slightly dark.
"My entire processor is glitching. I cannot access certain memory codes. Could you-" Here he hesitated. He must have seen Perceptor's expression. "You are unable?"
"I am unable due to both ethical impediments and feasibility." Why would Optimus ask him this kind of favor? What was wrong with him?
He backed up and shrugged awkwardly, meeting Perceptor in the optic when he shouldn't have. It made the scientist more uneasy than ever, if that were possible. "I... apologize."
The minute he left, Perceptor radioed Prowl.
Starscream had the spacebridge running 30 earth seconds before Megatron glinted in the sky. Dr. Arkeville, like Radar on M*A*S*H, had glanced in the direction before that, causing the jet to stop gloating over his nigh-impossible accomplishments and follow his gaze. The glint sparked less than a nanosecond later.
...Wait...he didn't gloat. He was Optimus Prime. Humble. Self-aware. Down-to-earth. Champion of good. Gloating was uncivilized.
Dr. Arkeville grunted. "I assumed he would come early. He must have been distracted."
Starscream's new found pride dissolved into worry. Had something happened to the Autobots? He turned to Dr. Arkeville but realized that there was no way to ask what Megatron had been doing that the former Starscream would provide a credible answer. Besides, there were other concerns.
"He will expect a report in a problem/solution/demonstration format. Expect your technical jargon to be cut short, especially if it is more hyperbolic than he can tolerate." This made Dr. Arkeville chuckle to himself. Starscream failed to see the humor. Talent should be recognized! Especially since he had absolutely no idea what he's been doing and he'd had to tolerate a snippy attitude giving him instructions.
There was more than Megatron coming. Soundwave, Skywarp, Thundercracker, and a few tapes landed with equally forceful but less imposing thuds as they hit the ground in unison. How did they do that, Starscream had often mused. Megatron barked a hasty "Report!" and forced the jet to get into character.
"The human-after some convincing argument-detailed to me what he had done to impede the machine. It took all of my brilliance-"
"Spare me the details for a moment in which I am not trying to export energon and merely inform me that it works!" Megatron really knew how to take the lift out of your spoiler.
"It works." It was held together with more duct tape, glue, and soldering than might be considered 'professional' but it worked. Dr. Arkeville had even spotted a few errors and corrected them. Not that this was relevant. Megatron ordered them to begin loading up the energon cubes Dirge and Thrust had just brought with them, in addendum to the ones the others had been carrying, but before Starscream did THAT he needed to take the human behind that dune and kill him.
They had discussed the best idea to approach the Decepticon leader. "I want to experiment on him."
"I do not allow pets!" Megatron shot back, already turned around to supervise more important matters.
"You keep Soundwave!" Starscream retorted. He was ignored.
Megatron doesn't allow pets either, he mused. Should I be relieved that I'm not the only leader or horrified I have a similarity to a Decepticon?
He took Dr. Arkeville behind the dune, checking to make sure there were no spies. "There might not be any air," Starscream protested.
"My mechanical parts have already proven to me that I can go without oxygen for at least twenty minutes. Energon loading takes only five, the trip back to the base is ten. Excluding any deviations, I should be all right. Megatron always dismisses us after a successful loading."
Well, that was that then. Dr. Arkeville took a deep breath and Starscream placed him into his subspace compartment.