What a mess.
Optimus Prime did not know how Wheeljack had 33 percent recidivism when it came to laboratory accidents, but he DID know that when you heard someone yell "duck!" that you did it, and QUICKLY.
"DUCK!"
Without processing why, Optimus leapt in front of a blissfully preoccupied Perceptor and tackled him to the ground as splashes of H2SO4 stung Prime's back, helmet, and shoulders.
Ratchet, the one who'd elicited the warning, glanced at his underarms and cast a baleful glance at the instigator of this malarkey.
"You're making me sound like Sunstreaker when I have to yell at you for ruining my paint job," he growled.
"Yeah, sorry, it looks like I put too much current into it without grounding it again," Wheeljack threw out, hurrying back over to what used to be a clean lab table. "Ooh."
"'Ooh?' Do I want to know?" The sound of sizzling would have been a tip-off as well even if Wheeljack hadn't responded.
"Nooo…."
Perceptor was still underneath him. Optimus wished he could smile back. "You should get Ratchet to spot-check you," he suggested gently, propping himself up as Prime slid away to free him.
"Come on, Prime," the medic interrupted, motioning for Optimus to follow him. "Before I coat Wheeljack with mustard."
The engineer tilted his head askew as he turned to face them. "What, me worry?"
This cracked everyone up. Optimus hesitated and wondered if he were allowed to laugh, and how to fake a laugh, and since the laugh ended before he made up his mind there wasn't much to do but walk out with Ratchet and let him make sure the acid had not gotten into any crevices.
Ratchet didn't say much, but kept opening his mouth every few seconds before changing his mind. Optimus debated challenging him to verbalize what was bothering him and discarded the idea. Some questions were better left unanswered.
Kup burst in during inspection with alarming news: Brawn and Bumblebee had been at the spacebridge trying to creatively sabotage it when Starscream and what looked like Dr. Arkeville had ambushed them.
"He's still alive?" Ratchet gasped.
Prime demanded to know if anyone was hurt. "No, but Starscream was able to use the spacebridge to go who-knows-where. Bumblebee tried to get the coordinates but Skywarp and Thundercracker showed up and-
"THEY DID WHAT!" Optimus had leapt off the lab table before he realized it. "We need to mobilize!"
"What for?" Ironhide asked, coming up behind Kup with a datapad. Prime still couldn't get over how cool those were.
Kup agreed. "He's right, Prime. It too dangerous to go charging in, it'll be like the Battle of Mekong Delta."
"Ah kin send Mirage over for reconnaissance," Ironhide offered.
"No, we have to go after them, I know what they're doing!" He headed to the door, impeded only by both his medical officer and his friend, who each grabbed a shoulder.
"Optimus...you can't do that." Ratchet gave him a firm but gentle push back towards the examining table.
"We can't just roll into the spacebridge and pop over to Cybertron for a quick visit! That's suicide!" Kup reminded him.
Optimus scrambled for a viable solution and could think of nothing. He had to go himself. He'd have to pretend that they were right and agree to send someone to keep watch on the spacebridge and then when things seemed to be going right...
Later, as they watched him sneak out the front door, Wheeljack, Ratchet, Kup, Jazz, Ironhide and Prowl couldn't resist a six-way high-five for a four-star ruse.
They missed noticing Perceptor follow close behind.
Starscream had to admit it, he was PROUD.
Dr. Arkeville had re-arranged the circuits and mostly barked orders, but it had been Starscream's idea and he'd found all the parts, done most of the work and he'd been the one giving Dr. Arkeville time and space to work by pretending to kill Megatron with enough frequent intervals to keep their leader distracted - although the last one was so lame it had Megatron rolling on the floor laughing hard enough to just SHOOT him - so he had something to be proud of in this project AND HE WAS!
Dr. Arkeville glanced at Starscream, who was humming an old Decepticon war hymn. He couldn't contain the smirk. Songs of Autobot resistance had been co-opted by Soundwave to add to the confusion and lower rebel morale, and it made a glorious cacophony in battle when both sides bellowed the words to the same tune with completely different meanings. Especially when one set of lyrics began to drown out the other. Which set ran though the processor of the robot before him, he wondered.
"I believe...we have completed our task," he announced, tapping Starscream out of his reverie. "And by the way...the color scheme of orange and grey...hideous. There might be some evil in you YET, Prime!"
Starscream didn't shudder, although he should have. "I suppose we should start calling each other by our proper names again-but NOT YET."
Dr. Arkeville shrugged. "Suit yourself. Now, to find an excuse to get to the switch machine..."
BAM.
"Starscream." Megatron's hiss was far worse than his yell. "I suspected you were building a new body for your pet...but orange and gray? Hideous."
"What is WRONG with orange?" Starscream shrieked back, forgetting to be wary in his umbrage. "It's not an Autobot primary color, it's not too dark, I like it!"
Megatron laughed. "With that argument, your loss of lucidity is confirmed." He began to walk around the lab table, inspecting their work. "Top caliber, Starscream," he commented, one black hand reaching out to trace the silent face. He frowned slightly. "Blue optics. A pity." His own red met with the jet's. "Did you finally execute that threat you made on the Autobots' superior scientist?"
Dr. Arkeville looked embarrassed but all Starscream saw was blinding fury. Jealousy. He did not know why he was inflamed but wrath overtook him and he lunged at Megatron with a bellow and was tossed to the wall with one arm and a bored expression for all of his efforts.
As he slid to the floor he began to sputter. "How dare-"
"Silence!" Their leader was at the doorway already, not even hiding the smug grin. "Although I am allowing you to build your toy, I have not forgotten my orders. Have you?"
Rising from the floor, it was all he could do to keep from heaving himself at the mech again. "I have not," he spat, "Mighty Megatron." His computer was beeping. The space bridge alarm. "Note that an Autobot approaches the space bridge. I will prevent him from his mission as well as deposit the human." Dr. Arkeville's eyes widened as Starscream stuffed him into subspace, grabbed the robot body, and stormed out. Megatron laughed as they departed.
"Make sure you take your trinemates!" he called after him. "I want no surprises."