Summary – Former English colonies have several things in common surprisingly it's not just eyebrows.
Disclaimer –nope still own nothing
Warning – we all know by this point I have bad spelling and grammar right? Oh good be nice please.
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It was glaring at him.
There was a bear like, but not really a bear creature glaring at him. It had gray fur a large nose and red eyes and it was glaring at him.
He was quite sure this particular species wasn't supposed to have red eyes. He was also sure that they were herbivores but he wouldn't take his chances with this one.
In fact the only thing he was sure of with this particular Koala was it belonged to Australia and if he tried to pick it up to bring it back to its owner it would bite him, Bugger.
Well he would just have to find the wild child and have him come get the thing. He couldn't very well let it stay on his bed.
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Now where could that boy be? Well if he couldn't find him he could just ask someone.
Currently he had several of his former colonies staying with him for something vaguely resembling a family reunion. It wasn't a commonwealth meeting because there were several commonwealth nations missing while a couple non commonwealth ones' were here. That meant he had to deal with America and Hong Kong running around setting off fireworks. Those two liked those things far more than was healthy.
He barely had time to notice he had stepped on something before he heard a threatening growl. Looking down he saw a pair of yellow slit pupil eyes glaring up at him from a face with many, many pointy teeth. England wasn't too much of a man to admit he let out a very, undignified squeak as he came face to face with Indies pet Bengal Tiger.
Bloody hell this just wasn't his day.
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England slumped into a kitchen chair. His hair was even more of a mess than usual and his once pristine clothes were torn in several places. He was just glad India had trained her tiger not to kill those who annoyed it.
He looked up from the table when he heard sounds coming from his refrigerator. It turned out to be a small white bear systematically eating everything in his fridge.
He'd almost forgotten Canada was there as well until he'd seen the glutinous bear. Well at least this particular pet was harmless.
There was a low growl from the bear.
Returning his attention to the creature he concluded that it was mostly harmless. The formally harmless bear had grown from the size of a cub to the size of a full grown bear and was growling at him. In its moth was a Tupperware containing the leftovers from England's dinner the night before.
Deciding to concede when a large carnivorous animal said his food was terrible England jumped from his seat and ran from the room.
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Surly he would be safe in here. None of his former colonies pets would hide in a closet.
Let's see what animals had he not run into yet?
The demon Koala was on his bed last he checked.
The tiger was mopping in the hallway after England managed to escape it.
The Polar bear was eating him out of house and home. That left Hong Kong and New Zealand. They were the only other nations staying with him who brought pets. American thankfully didn't have any pets.
"Let's see I haven't seen New Zealand's Kiwi yet but it's almost as evil as Australia's Koala so I need to keep an eye out for it. Now if only I could remember what Hong Kong keeps as a pet? It's something odd I know but what is it?" While England was talking to himself he didn't notice said pet sneaking up on him.
England had just enough time to notice something flying at him before it hit him in the face.
"GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" England knocked the closet door off as he ran from the room. There was a large jumping spider on his face and he felt entitled to freak out. At least now he remembered what Hong Kong kept as a pet.
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England panted, he had managed to knock the spider from his face and run as fast as he could from the house. He was now lying in his front yard exhausted and wondering why someone nice as Hong Kong would keep such a thing as a pet. Really an overgrown Jumping spider? That might just be worse than the Koala that started all of this.
England was just drifting off to sleep when he was once again disturbed.
"OW" He twitched as something began pecking at his eye brows. Opening his eyes he saw exactly what he expected.
New Zealand's Kiwi was standing on his chest pecking his eyebrows. Bloody thing must have thought they were caterpillars.
"Get off me you annoying flightless fruit." Said flightless fruit began pecking at his eyes.
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England walked into his backyard. He had replaced his torn clothing with a pair of sweat pants and a tee-shirt. There was a large bandage on his forehead from where the kiwi had pecked him and one of his hands was bandaged from where he had been bitten by Australia's Koala.
So overall he had ended up in the exact situation he hadn't wanted to end up in except worse, just brilliant. At least there were no more pets to assault him.
Just as England was breathing a sigh of relief he tripped over something. Not even bothering to grown in pain he simply flipped himself over to look at what he had stumbled into this time.
"Merowe" He jumped up with a slight shriek as he stared at the cat like thing before him.
It sounded like a cat and it was shaped vaguely like a cat, it had cat eyes and that's were the similarities ended. It had large droopy eyes that made him fell like it was begging for something. Its body and legs were long and its head was wedge shaped with a dog like face. Its ears were large and folded forward only emphasizing its odd look. To top it off the cat was completely hairless, with dark gray colored, thick, wrinkly, skin.
England didn't know what to do, which was why the loud voice of America provided a welcome distraction.
"Yeah I got her about a month ago." England had a suspicious feeling.
"But don't you think it looks a little odd?" That was India her voice was unmistakable mostly because she was the only female in the house. Whatever it was it must be pretty odd for it to get to the girl with the pet tiger.
"Odd looking come on, she's the cutest thing ever." The adoring tone of voice America was speaking in would have been hilarious at any other time. Right now it was simply disturbing.
"If you say so Al you always did have odd taste in almost everything." That was Canada dear sweet Canada with the polar that would eat everything including England but excluding his cooking.
"Nah I don't have odd taste in animals she's just so awesome she's on a whole different level you can't comprehend." He just knew it was Gilbert who taught America to act like that it couldn't have been anyone else.
"Whatever keeps you happy." Aw the sarcastic voice of New Zealand he was sure he was never pecked by that pesky feathered fruit.
"Hey where did you get that thing any way?" That was Australia the one who's Koala started this mess.
"Oh actually my boyfriend gave her to me for our five year anniversary …" America said more but England had stopped listening America had a boyfriend and they had been together for five years. Missing that was like missing the alien cat still staring at him. Right well there was only one way for a sensible British gentleman to deal with this.
Jump out from behind the screen door and yell.
"Since when have you had a bloody boy….friend….What… the bloody hell is that?" England's mind had stopped reversed and then started again once he saw America.
America stood before him dressed in his normal attire of jeans cowboy boots bomber jacket and strangely patterned shirt with a cat on his head.
It was identical to the first one but its skin was lighter and its eyes were orange. It was sitting strait backed with its rat like tail curling around America's forehead. Its droopy orange eyes stared right through him.
"Oh this, this is one of my new cats the other one is behind you." At the sound of her owners voice the first cat like thing that might actually be a cat, came running from behind England and climbed up America to rest on his shoulders.
"Why did your boyfriend give you two cats?" Ah the man with the spider Hong Kong. At least he had better taste in questions than pets.
"Well they would get lonely if they were alone." Australia nodded in complete understanding.
Why was it that every country he raised ended up with odd pets? And why did that cat have glowing eyes and a menacing purple aura?
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And that's that just tons of strange animals. It was inspired by the cat that America has I think they're the cutest things in the world. Oh and in an attempt to get reviews can anyone guess who I'm thinking of as America's boyfriend? Hint the cats are breed by his sister and one of them has his personality.