Chapter 2 : Revision.
Kagami stirred at the noise of someone knocking on her wall. She turned sluggishly to see Inori standing in her doorway. Though her eyes were still drunk with sleep, Kagami could tell Inori was all dressed up and about to head out for a day with her friends.
"You're going to sleep until noon at this rate, Kagami. It's ten-thirty." Inori informed her.
She snapped awake, sitting up in her bed with a surprised look on her face. Inori chuckled. Kagami's entire body was sore since she had been sleeping in such an awkward position. Her eyes demanded they remain shut, burning intensely to get their wish.
"Thanks, onee-chan." Kagami said, rubbing the remnants of sleep from her eyes.
Inori smiled and left. Kagami sighed heavily and checked her alarm clock, which she had forgotten to set. It was clear she had overslept. She wasn't sure at what point her insomnia had finally gotten tired of her. All she knew was she had a horrible dream about the girls from K-On. It probably had something to do with forcing herself to watch the show earlier in the day. Reality began to set in when she spotted the papers sitting on her desk. Apparently that hadn't been a nightmare.
She remembered everything. It was a rather unpleasant realization. Kagami had crawled into bed after leaving an enormous question mark beneath where the story abruptly ended just as the sun was rising. She flipped through the papers, examining her corrections and the notes she had left. There was so much red. The paper may have very well been bleeding. A headache began forming at the front of her skull. There was absolutely no way they could submit this story and hope to get away with it. None. At best the judges might appreciate Konata's effort and refrain from burning it in front of her.
Kagami didn't know if there was anything they could salvage from this story. What had Konata been thinking? They needed to get together and brainstorm so that Konata's next idea would actually work. Kagami retrieved her cell phone and dialed Konata's number. She wasn't immediately taken to her voice mail, so she knew Konata was up. Konata didn't answer. Typical. Kagami tried their house number.
"Izumi residence." Yutaka answered.
"Hey, Yutaka. It's Kagami. Is Konata there?"
"Yes, give me a moment to go get her."
It took a minute for Konata to arrive.
"Sorry, I was trying to break my Soul Calibur II time attack record with Talim. What's up?"
"I think we need to talk." Kagami replied.
"About what?"
"About your story!"
"Oh, yeah! Did you like it?"
Kagami choked and bit her bottom lip. Konata was her friend. Did she really have the heart to tell her the story was absolutely awful? That it may have been one of the worst things she had ever read? Konata had put effort into the story. It had come from within her. In a way, it was almost a part of her. Did that mean insulting the story would insult Konata? It was clear she needed to improve. Yet was that not Kagami's personal opinion? There were many professional authors out there who were terrible, yet people still loved them. Whatever Kagami had to say would be what Konata could do to make the story appealing to her.
Yet there were plot holes, perspective errors, a crossover that clashed heavily with the main universe, and a terrible ending. Somehow, those could be improved and that might possibly help the story appeal to a wider audience. Perhaps there was a diamond in the rough. Maybe this was a good idea. It just needed a lot of fixing. Kagami continued chewing on her lip. Those were her own opinions again. There wasn't any way around them. This was more of a conundrum than it should have been.
"Well?" Konata asked.
Kagami had to be honest, yet she would do so in a gentle way. It was better for Konata to hear it from her than some stranger.
"Umm. . .I thought the part where the metal heads fought each other was funny."
"Yeah, I liked that part, too!"
"There's some stuff that needs to be done with it. I've got some notes and a hard copy of the story I corrected what I need to give you. Can I come over now?"
"You are welcome at my home anytime, Kagamin. Besides, I kind of need help with math. I was going to see if you could come visit anyway."
"Help with math, huh?"
Usually assisting Konata with algebra ended in Kagami giving up and letting her copy the answers. She had been more stern in the past, but Konata's inability to understand equations had eventually gotten the best of her.
"All right. I'll probably see you in about fifteen to twenty minutes."
She dressed, fixed her hair, and stuffed the document inside her school briefcase. Before heading downstairs, she opened Tsukasa's door and knocked on it while standing inside her room.
"Wake up!" Kagami said.
Tsukasa groaned and shifted under her covers, muttering nonsense words to herself. At least Kagami had tried. The only other person in the home who usually slept in was Matsuri, who shared her room with Inori, dorm style. There was no sense in even trying to help her get out of bed. Kagami had a piece of toast and a cup of coffee before heading out towards Konata's home. It was a beautiful day outside, which made the long walk quite pleasant. Along the way, Kagami thought about how she was going to explain everything to Konata. Hopefully they could still remain friends even though Kagami didn't like her story. Holding a grudge over something like this would be quite petty.
She also attempted to come up with her own idea, but she kept drawing a blank. The anime and manga industry made it seem so easy with all their rehashed ideas. Kagami felt her ideas were all too realistic and boring. When she tried to formulate an extravagant plot, it became embarrassing and stupid. The harder she thought about it, the more anxious it made her. This didn't seem like something she could force out. If she were to come up with something, it would probably occur to her as an epiphany would. She had to keep trying.
The walk to Konata's house didn't take nearly as long since she was so deep in thought. Konata admitted her inside.
"Welcome."
"Hey." Kagami said in greeting as she took off her shoes.
Konata lead Kagami upstairs to her room. Her father gave a friendly wave, but the lecherous smile he had on his face made Kagami glad he was a man of restraint. She would be eighteen soon enough and then he wouldn't be interested.
"You know, you could have just corrected it and sent it back to me via E-Mail." Konata said as they entered her room.
"I know. I figured this required more of a personal touch."
"Why is that?" Konata asked as she pulled out her floor table.
They both took a seat on the floor. Kagami opened her briefcase, retrieved the story, and set it on the table.
"That's a lot of red." Konata said, flipping through the pages.
"I don't think we can use this." Kagami said.
Konata looked visibly perplexed.
"Huh?"
"How is Aki Toyosaki supposed to read an emote?" Kagami demanded.
Kagami's initial attack decimated the wall of pride she would have otherwise had to work through. She had raised a valid point and she couldn't think of a way to reply to that, so Konata just grinned.
"Hyphen, underscore, hyphen?"
"Absolutely not. Furthermore, your Haruhi crossover breaks the story more than anything else. Sakuragaoka High is a girls high school. What are Kyon and Itsuki doing there?"
Konata laughed nervously. There wasn't anything she could say to justify that mistake, even to herself.
"Did you put yourself in this story? Do you expect them to invite you over to a recording studio so you can act with everyone else if they make a production out of this? How can you be in front of something if you jump behind it? How could you possibly misspell the name of our school?"
"Maybe I should have spent more time with this last night. I wanted to provide you with something so you knew that I was serious."
"Aside from the Haruhi crossover, I couldn't sense your voice anywhere in the story. It seemed like you were writing under the influence of another author. I guess that's only natural since you're just starting out and you haven't yet found your own unique style."
"But what about the witch? I thought that was a cool idea. Kind of like the Terminator, or something."
"How is she anything like the Terminator?"
"Well, in the second movie he goes back in time and. . .yeah, it's nothing like the Terminator. You're pretty good at this, Kagamin."
"If you say so."
"You said you were interested in literature, right? Maybe you could become a book doctor."
"Your father would be thrilled."
"Yeah, now that you mention it, I don't think his heart could take it. Stick with law. What else do you got? I imagine there's more."
"Tsumugi was psychotic."
"I wanted to add something to her character since she never gets any attention."
"No." Kagami said with a strong degree of finality, shaking her head. "By the way, how did you suddenly get so good with medicine?"
"That's Yutaka. She's got an encyclopedic knowledge of medicine and human physiology. It's actually kind of funny. Here, let me show you!"
She left the room for a moment to fetch her cousin, who looked slightly embarrassed when she entered and waved at Kagami and quietly fidgeted with her hands now that she was the center of attention.
"Kagami, name any ailment you can think of."
"I don't know. Indigestion?" Kagami said, shrugging.
"Also known as dyspepsia." Yutaka replied without hesitation.
"Too easy! Stay there for a second."
Konata jumped on her computer and leaned in so it would be more difficult for Yutaka to see the screen. In less than a minute, she had what she wanted.
"What's Haloperidol?"
"An anti-psychotic." Yutaka said.
"This never gets old. Kagami takes medicine for her insomnia. It begins with a Z. What is it?"
"Zolpidem."
"What bone makes up the tip of your forefinger?"
"The distal phalanges."
"And your shoulder?"
"The shoulder isn't a bone, onee-chan. It's more or less a collection of joints. Some bones in that area are the clavicle, your collarbone, the scapula, your shoulder blade, and the humerus, which runs from your shoulder to your elbow." Yutaka said, using her body as a diagram.
"How do you make fraternal twins?"
"With two independently fertilized eggs."
At this rate, Konata would quiz Yutaka for another thirty minutes. Kagami sought to derail the conversation even though it was rather interesting.
"Are you going to become a nurse, Yutaka?" Kagami asked.
"Maybe. I haven't decided yet. I might as well since I know so much about this type of thing. I keep up with it just in case there's ever a cure for what I have."
Though she said it so innocently and carefree, it depressed Kagami greatly. Yutaka seemed to notice she had dampened the mood.
"What a charming moe point!" Konata mused.
"She's your cousin."
"Yutaka is my very own little Nagisa Furukawa."
"I don't think I like that." Yutaka said seriously.
"You think too highly of that show, Konata." Kagami said. "For the wrong reasons, I might add. Consider this. Remember how After Story ends? That invalidates everything that happens after Ushio is born, particularly what Tomoya does for his father. It is actually a rather bad ending from a technical standpoint, which actually brings me to my next issue with your story."
"Wait a minute. The audience can assume Nagisa and Tomoya will lead a happy life together. Ushio would still grow up in a very healthy family and since Tomoya retains the knowledge of what happened before, he would still help his father. I liked the ending. It leaves a lot to interpretation and it's better than what the alternative would have been."
"Be that as it may and disregarding how adding Nagisa to the mix may very well have altered how certain events could have transpired, your ending still needs to be reworked. Remember what I said about the Haruhi crossover."
"Wait, isn't Sakuragaoka High an all girls school?" Yutaka asked.
Kagami snapped her fingers and pointed at Yutaka, emphasizing her point.
"Geez, you two are terrible!" Konata said, exasperated. "Did I do anything right?"
"Well, a couple of scenes were funny. They weren't enough to make up for everything else, though. I'm sorry."
"It's fine, I guess. Better to hear it from you than some troll from 2Chan riding on the Rage Train."
"Can I read it?" Yutaka asked.
"So long as you can continue to keep it a secret from dad. What else is there, Kagami?"
"Aside from deciding what perspective you want at the beginning of the story and other miscellaneous nitpicks, that's all I've got. I'll try to think how we can make it better, but you've got the imagination."
"And you've got the brains." Konata said as she lifted her math workbook from her computer desk.
"Wanna trade?" Kagami muttered, bracing herself for what would come next.
X
Math was the language of the universe. Why so many people had a hard time understanding it was beyond Kagami, especially when there were so many examples to help them when they got stuck. Konata was just as inept as ever and the whole process took two agonizing hours. Kagami could barely take a break since Konata was struggling so much with the current unit she was on. It didn't help that she hadn't slept at all the previous evening. At least she kept at it and hid her frustration under her demeanor. Once they were finished, Kagami bolted out of Konata's house after a hasty farewell.
Before she went home, Kagami decided to take a brief trip into town in search of inspiration. Why was she going so far out of her way for this? She was certain it had something to do with the money. Kagami already knew what she wanted to buy if they won. A cute new outfit was at the top of her list. What if they somehow became famous and could do this for some extra income during college? That was quite a fantasy. Maybe they could collaborate on an original project and make their own light novel, which would eventually become its own series. The witch in Konata's story was intriguing. Kagami thought of Slayers and how dull a powerful magician in modern city could potentially be and continued on her way. As a realist and a very staunch critic, it was hard for her to create.
Eventually she found herself in front of the store she sought to explore. A sign was in the window that forbid cameras. And otaku's. Kagami smirked and checked her reflection in the display window, which advertised a sale and a couple of guitars. No, she definitely didn't look like a girl of that type. Her skin and hair were far too healthy. Hopefully they wouldn't pressure her into buying something. The store wasn't very busy. Heavy metal was playing over the speakers at a low volume. The clerk, a gentlemen with ragged long hair and an intense fear of magnets judging by the numerous piercings he had, welcomed her as she browsed. This store had every instrument the girls in K-On played, none of which Kagami had any previous experience with. All she could do was play the recorder, which was a lot like saying she could make obscene noises with her armpit.
Left handed instruments were indeed a precious commodity and were given their own section. Kagami had felt out of place before, but now it was even worse as the patrons regarded her with awe. She found a white Fender Mustang. It was the only Mustang the store had at the moment. Kagami smirked and tucked a string, producing a small note.
"It's red now, Azunyan." Kagami said under her breath with a stupid grin, feeling quite clever to be able to use that reference in real life.
It was a peculiar quirk of hers to say such things. She hid it from everyone she knew. Even Tsukasa. That hadn't been the only thing that brought something to mind. This store sold harmonicas. Kagami snickered and went through the rest of the instruments the girls played until she finally made it to Ritsu's drums. The kit she stood in front of was the same color and brand new. It was easily the most expensive instrument out of all of them. Kagami wondered how much Ritsu had paid for it used and found herself captivated by the display.
"Great minds think alike." a familiar voice said.
Kagami yelped in surprise and jumped to the side, shocked to have been so rudely interrupted. Konata stood behind her, dressed in what Kagami affectionately referred to as her guy clothes. Konata owned few outfits that complimented her figure. Kagami breathed a sigh of relief and smirked, although she felt a little awkward. She hadn't expected to see Konata in person for the rest of the day. To have that expectation squashed felt a little weird.
"Didn't you see the sign?" Kagami asked, pointing toward the entrance of the store.
"It's fine, I'm incognito." Konata replied.
"I can see that. You're actually walking around with your eyes open. For once."
"Fishing for ideas as well, I presume?"
"Yeah." Kagami said as she continued admiring the drum kit.
"I wonder if we'll ever get to see them go to Budokan." Konata mused.
Kagami chuckled darkly and shook her head.
"Hey, it could happen. They're relaunching the manga, you know." Konata insisted.
"More K-On? Didn't they already graduate?"
"Yeah. The new series takes place while they are in college. That's really why they're having this contest. The winner gets their story printed in the very same issue."
"Wow. They're in college now, huh? That's disturbing."
Konata blinked and tilted her head in confusion.
"Elaborate."
"Weren't you telling me otaku's throw fits whenever a boy gets involved with their favorite character? There's no way they couldn't get involved with a relationship while they were in college. If they didn't, that would be incredibly creepy."
"Good point. Don't worry; I'm sure they wouldn't show it, just like they don't show how much they actually practice. Just because we can't see it doesn't mean it hasn't happened. However, if they did add a guy into the mix he would probably be an idiot or a stalker, somebody the otaku's could feel superior to. He wouldn't be dating one of them for very long, although I'm sure that one panel would be enough to destroy the whole series for some people. You should be happier, though."
"Why?"
"They're going to college! How many times does this happen? It proves that there's life after high school!"
"You needed a manga to tell you that?"
Konata crossed her arms.
"Well, sometimes it just doesn't seem that way." Konata said.
Although Kagami hated to admit it, Konata did have a point. They would all be adults soon. It certainly didn't feel like it. Where had all the time gone? Unlike her older sisters, Kagami would likely move out and attend college in a different city. That would require a lot of responsibility. Kagami knew she could do it. She just didn't like thinking about it. Life was full of changes and all fear did was beckon her back to comfort.
"I kind of hope there is a boy even though that would be the end of the series. It's funny to watch otaku's deface their merchandise, take pictures of it, and then complain about how they were betrayed online." Konata said.
Kagami laughed at that.
"Idiots." she said, smiling.
"I know, right? Love is for ero doujinshi's and ero doujinshi's only. Don't show the guys face, you'll ruin it."
"I can just see that one maniac you were talking about the other day smashing his Les Paul into the wall because Ui kissed a guy."
"You mean Yui?"
"Whoever plays the Les Paul."
"You're obviously a fan of the show. I wonder when we'll ever get to have that experience."
"Kissing a guy? Definitely not while standing in a music store gawking at instruments we can't play."
Someone cleared his throat behind them loudly. The two girls turned to see the clerk looming over them, looking down on them as if they were among the lowest dregs of society. He had obviously heard their conversation since he was holding the sign that had been placed in the display window.
"Are you going to buy something?" he asked, gesturing towards the front door.
Laughing nervously, the two girls left the store together with the clerk right behind them. Once out in the street, they had the pleasure of watching a man walk by carrying a Francesca Lucchini dakimakura with him. Konata didn't even bat an eye at him, but Kagami couldn't help but stare in shock as he walked past them.
"What is he doing?" Kagami asked.
"Taking the waifu out for a walk. What does it look like he's doing?"
"Do girls pull stuff like this?"
"Yeah. Less often. Anyway, I gotta get going. My computer is in dire need of a new graphics card." Konata said.
"If I think of anything, I'll let you know."
"Likewise. I'll fix the story tonight. Oh, one last thing. I just wanted to let you know that you were right."
"About what?"
"Everything you said about the story. I definitely misplaced my ego."
"Don't say that. It's just fan fiction."
Konata grinned.
"A day is not complete without your dere dere side, Kagami. You're quite a catch."
"Oh, shut up."
"And we're back to tsun tsun. Nice. Later!"
They parted ways. An idea began to form in her head as she made her way home. This one didn't immediately didn't die in a blaze of fire. The conversation she had with Konata was the catalyst. It was a bit too realistic, but K-On wasn't exactly in a fantasy setting. That was the main gripe Kagami kept mulling over. If she wasn't careful, it would be boring. Since this was her first story, she knew better than to be confident. However, if she did it right, it could be very meaningful. Kagami wasn't sure if it would stand a chance, but she was worried about how much time Konata was going to spend on the story after that expansion pack came out. It was best for her to be the leader. After all, she was more responsible.
If nothing else, her contribution might encourage more ideas. Besides, it was only five thousand words. She could probably churn that out in a couple of hours. Thankfully the computer was free once she returned. Kagami was eager to get the idea out while it was still hot and she hadn't killed it. After getting a cup of tea and waiting for Libre Office to finally load, she began typing, armed with a Wiki for K-On and a drive to create.
NEXT TIME WI – Ritsu Tainaka here, ready to spread the love and the joy! Holo won't be joining us for this preview. Something about not being a furry and find somebody else if you think that way. I happen to play a large role in Kagami's story! I'm flattered and I'm happy that I don't die and that I'm not horribly maimed in this story! What's it about? It's about friendship! It's about second chances! It's about letting your hair down! Can it win the contest? Maybe, maybe not! See you during the next update!