A/N: Switching things up for this chapter. Next chapter, back to Sookie's POV. Thanks to my awesome beta Suaru_chan. You rock woman! xoxo

I know how afraid she is of marriage. But she needn't be with me. I want to take care of her, provide for her and be everything she needs. Really, I just want her. I've never felt this way before about anyone and figure, why not hold onto her. Why wait? Do I need to experience love with another woman? No. I have found what most people search their entire existence for. I'm young and think it's fortunate for me to have done so now, rather than later. So, why does everyone make me feel like I'm making such a huge mistake?

I could finally breathe once she called me. I couldn't bear to be away from her for any amount of time, let alone the weeks we spent apart. I used the time wisely though. My father and I had plenty of talks during that time and he set me straight on a few things.

"You know son, from what you've told me, Sookie just needs some time. You have to understand she's been married, unhappily at that, and now you're asking her to dive right into another marriage? I'm sure she loves you and she knows that you love her, but you have to give her time to adjust. I know you don't have much experience with these things, but think about it. How would you feel if you'd just broken up with a girl who made your life a living hell and had someone who wanted you to be exclusive to them right away? Let alone having to deal with her death and the repercussions of that. You'd have trust issues, you'd be insecure, and you'd want some time alone."

"I didn't think of it that way. How would I know that? I haven't really had a serious relationship before but I'm ready to do that now."

"Ahh… but see, you have to think of things from her perspective, too. You can't just think about yourself and what you want. What does she want? How does she feel? You need to consider her when making decisions that will change both of your lives. I know it's a bit of a change for you to think about anyone besides yourself but—"

"That's a bit of a low blow, Dad. I think about other people."

"Eric. Son. I know you." He glared at me. "You think about what you want and focus on nothing else but getting it. I'm only speaking the truth so don't get pissed. Just tell me this, have you and Sookie, in your talks about the future, decided what's going to happen when—"

"That's not your concern. We'll be fine. She'll either move here or we'll go back and forth. No matter what, we'll work it out."

"But we moved back here for a reason. You NEED to be here. There's no way out of that."

"I'll figure it out, Father. Thanks for the words of wisdom."

I shrugged him off and went for a walk. My father could be wise about some things, but clueless about others. He did get me to think about Sookie and the first time I saw her—the sunlight glinting off her long blonde hair; her blue eyes twinkling as she smiled at me. That first time, I lost my train of thought. I don't remember what I said to her; only hearing her name comes to mind. I thought it unusual at first, but it fit her. No one could be mistaken for her and it said something about her personality. She is one of a kind. The jealousy that coursed through my veins as my cousin introduced her to me as his fiancée was more than I could bear. I was only a kid. What would a woman want with a kid? Then I watched them argue. I wouldn't have talked to her like that. I wouldn't have treated her like a piece of property. But, I didn't think there was much I could do in the way of satisfying her so I turned my mind to other things. Or at least I tried.

I love Bill. Loved Bill. He was the closest thing I had to a brother and I know my father felt he was like a second son. It's why I couldn't think about Sookie the way I was. I thought about her all the time. I even tried dating just to push her from my mind. Nothing worked. It was a futile attempt and it was ridiculous how much she plagued my thoughts. I had her smile memorized; every speck of gold that dotted the iris of her crystal blue eyes; and her laugh. Her laugh is one of my favorite sounds and I revel in it.

I had to see her again. I looked forward to talking with her and took every opportunity I could during family gatherings. But, someone always managed to take me away from her and I hated that at the time. It was probably for the best, but I couldn't get past my frustration at not being able to talk to her. It made me hate Bill. He had something I wanted. He was able to touch her and not think twice about who saw. He was able to kiss her, to make her moan in pleasure, to make her happy. But what did he do? He blew it. He took advantage of her and neglected her because he could. I'd heard things about their relationship but I didn't know how bad they were until she revealed the truth to me. It was difficult to hear how things were for her at home and knowing there was nothing I could do about it killed me. The first time I got to talk to her alone was on the couch in the family room where I found her sitting by herself. I couldn't help teasing her about not socializing. In actuality, I was happy to have her all to myself. I couldn't tell her that though. She shivered when I leaned in to whisper in her ear. I wanted to do more than that but I had self-control. I'm not an animal after all. I did like the reaction she had to my proximity. If I had known then what I know now…

After that Christmas, it seemed like she avoided me. I didn't know why and I still don't. I probably should have asked her. I felt like she was grossed out by me or something. She didn't do much aside from saying hello and running from the room. I tried not to dwell on it, but I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to learn more about her and I couldn't do that if we were never around each other. Then I made things worse. I stared at her whenever I she crossed my path. I couldn't help myself. She was breathtaking whenever I saw her. I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and kiss her breathless. Again, something I couldn't do. She never gave me any signal that she wanted me like I wanted her. She never said anything that made me think we could have had something together. But I hoped.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. Thanksgiving was that last straw. I stood so close to her, close enough to stick my hand out to touch her, but I couldn't. Someone would see, they would know, I would be shunned. But she had to know. I was throwing all of my feelings out to her at the time and I thought she could feel me. Feel my love. I did love her then. I knew it as sure as I knew my name. I had to tell her, show her. So I took New Year's Eve and did just that. I didn't think we'd go as far as we did but I was happy she didn't stop me. Yeah, I was prepared. I wanted to make love to her. I never wanted our first time to be in my grandfather's office against his bookshelves, but it was amazing nonetheless. I was happy to have her. That she wanted me. That she was mine for that moment.

I felt euphoric. I was lost in her. And yeah, I was buried deep inside of her like I'd dreamt about so many nights before. So deep that I thought we'd be joined at the hip forever. I'm not sure I can explain how I felt then. Just knowing how wet she was for me, how willing to be with me. It was the greatest birthday present I'd ever received. Whenever I'm apart from her, I replay that moment over in my mind. Just thinking about it now makes me ache with want.

The girls I'd met over holiday breaks weren't even in the same league as her. I felt like shit after each one. Confessing that to Sookie was the only good thing I've done in awhile. It made me feel relieved that she wasn't embarrassed to be with someone with so little sexual experience. I thought long and hard about that. I didn't want to let her down. I wanted to be the best she'd ever had. What I lacked in skill I made up for in creativity. It just so happened she liked what I did. I'm not afraid to say I was worried about it, but I'm happy I don't have to.

Then I'm brought back to our fight. Her reason for sending me away in the first place.

"I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where I'm expected to stay at home and have to depend on you for everything, okay? There! I said it!"

I couldn't believe she'd think so little of me. I'm not one for losing my temper, but I lost it then. I didn't know what to say then, thinking about the implications of her words. She was comparing me to her husband. The one who abused her; the person who neglected her and treated her as less than. How could she even begin to think I would do that to her?

"How long will you… how long will I have to suffer for his mistakes?" I never got her answer to that question, but I'd like to know it now.

I didn't want to hear it then. I stormed off muttering curses and trying to get myself under control. I didn't even say goodbye. I couldn't see the look of pity in her eyes as she watched me walk away. I wouldn't let her see my tears.

"Vad i helvete!"

I hadn't realized I was speaking Swedish, but I didn't care. I was too far gone to think straight. My rants to no one continued while I tried to sort through my feelings.

"Jag tror inte det är sant! She's pushing me away still."

I dialed my father then but got his voicemail.

"Herrejävlar!"

I didn't know who else to call to talk things through so I gathered all of my things into my bag and stormed out of the house, thinking I'd never return. I didn't care that I was blubbering like a fucking baby. I was hurt and felt alone. The one person I the world I loved more than anything was asking me to cut out my heart and act like it didn't bother me. I got on a plane, flew home and didn't think to look back until she called. Now here I am, sitting face to face with her and I need to pour my heart out, once again. Only this time I know she won't stomp all over it.

"So, I just want you to know, about the marriage thing—"

"Eric, please. I can't do this right now," she says with a frown.

"No, I wasn't going into a proposal or anything. I just want you to know that I understand why you pushed me away. I was pressuring you. I didn't know that but I do now. I can wait. You take the lead. Tell me when you're ready to talk about it, and we can go from there. That's it. No ultimatums, no trying to convince you of anything, just that. I love you. That's enough for me."

She looks relieved. She releases a breath she must have been holding and sighs, then giggles.

"Don't look so relieved, my love."

"I'm sorry, Eric. You're just, you're wonderful. I felt terrible for making you leave, but I had to do what was best for me. I have everyone telling me what I should do and I thought you'd start in on me again. I appreciate you giving me the control here. I feel like I'm spiraling into oblivion and my safety net's been cut."

"I'll be your safety net. I'll catch you and will never let you fall. I'll be whatever you need me to be. Even if it's just someone to hold your hand." I reach out to take her hand, holding it in mine.

She raises an eyebrow and smirks. "I'd want you for more than that."

"I'd hope so." I laugh and she manages another giggle.

"So, I'm going to the doctor in the morning. I'm nervous."

"Good nervous, I hope." I'm nervous too but I don't want her to know that. I want to be strong for her. I'm bounce between happy, confused, nervous and anxious. But I feel so much hope. Hope for our future, for the life I want us to build together. I'm getting what I want, when I want it, and I realize I'm scared. But I know that I want this. I've wanted nothing but this and it's happening so soon—a baby. I hope I can be a good father. I hope I can be the man Sookie needs me to be.

"Eh… I don't know what to expect. I mean, I'd love to be pregnant but the timing is just off. Does that make sense?"

I nod. "It makes perfect sense."

"I don't want you to think I'm backing out or anything, I'm just freaking a little. It's a first for me and I thought, well…"

"Yeah. I get it, I think. I'm here for you, Sookie. Tell me what you need from me, and I'll do my best. But I am going with you, tomorrow. We've got that established, right?"

"Yes… yes. I know if you weren't going with me I'd never hear the end of it from Gran."

"Speaking of your grandmother, I need to apologize to her. I may have said some things while walking past her door the last time I was here. I was upset and not thinking too clearly."

"I wouldn't worry about it. She's okay. She doesn't know what you said anyway. I'm guessing it wasn't in English?"

I shrug. "Probably not. I seem to switch between languages when I'm pissed."

"Really? That's good to know. So you weren't pissed with me then, because you didn't go off on me in another language." She laughed and I couldn't help but join in.

"I could never be pissed with you. I was upset with the situation, but not you. You don't realize do you?"

"Realize what?"

"How much I love you. How much I want to be with you. You calling me was like getting my second wind. I could breathe again. I could think again. I was going out of my mind without you and knowing that you missed me too, well that was just the icing on the cake. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't reached out to me. I felt like I was never going to see you again." I trace the lines of her face with my index fingers, and she relaxes into my side.

"I'm sorry about that. I told you I needed time, but not forever."

"I heard you, but I didn't see it then. So, tell me more about this doctor visit…"

A/N: Translations

Herrejävlar – Motherfuck

Jag tror inte det är sant – I don't fucking believe this

Vad i helvete – what the hell (What Eric says when he walks past Gran's room.)