Disclaimer: i don't own Bleach.

Author Note: First off, WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS INCREDIBLY CRAZY. I have no idea why I wrote it, it just came to me so I did it. It's more comic relief then anything else, though Toshirou get's to meet the Hollows. Thank you PANDABELZ for giving me the basis of this idea, though it's probably nothing like you imgined. Thank you to all you other reviewers out there, I wrote this in under an hour ^^ Which means it's probably riddled with mistakes... oh well.

I Hate EveryThing About You (Why Do I Love You)

Chapter 8: Aliens

Ring.... Ring.... Ring.....

"Alright already! Shut the fuck up!" I yelled, jerking out of bed and grabbing the phone. My father had installed it a few days ago, since he adamantly refused to get me a cell phone.

"YOU FORGOT TO CALL ME BACK KARIN, DAMMIT!" The voice on the other end of the phone was unmistakably Nel's, and so loud I was sent flying out of my bed.

"Ow..." I groaned- I'd bumped my head. Nel was obviously in one of those weird rages she sometimes got, and continued yelling despite the fact I had been bodily separated from the telephone. That didn't mean I could here her though.

"YOU LITTLE FUCKER! WHEN I GET OVER THERE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! KKKKKIIIILLLLLLL YOOOOOUUUU! AS IN DEAD, LIKE A DOOR NAIL! ARGH! 11111111111111 SLDKHFSOEFNSIUEFHESIUFHIUESGFSEIUOFGOSE!" Nel yelled, and I rolled my eyes.

That girl needs to take some pills. I thought to myself, walking over, picking up the phone, and hanging up. Nel's screaming was abruptly cut off, and I smirked.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. I thought to myself, and then frowned. Why the hell did I just think that? Something must be wrong with me. At that moment, of course, my father walked in with that nutty look in his eye.

"MY DARLING KARIN! DID SOMEONE TRY TO ATTACK YOU?! I WILL SAVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"

Needless to say, I had a very... interesting... morning.

"Hey Karin!" A voice called to me, and I turned to see Rukia and Matsumoto.

"What's up?" I asked, tired from the days exertions (i.e. beating my father up into a pulp. What fun). Matsumoto took the lead, grinning excitedly.

"Guess what! There's a bunch of people from your old team on the soccer field! One of them is acting like a maniac and hitting everyone who comes near her, screaming for you! Isn't that cool?!" Matsumoto cried, oblivious to the fact I'd just turned white as a sheet.

Are you... fucking... serious?!!!! I thought to myself, sprinting to the nearest window. Sure enough, Nel was sprinting around hitting people with a big white stick weapon thingy (where the hell did she get that thing?!) and holding up a giant sign that said I'M GOING TO KILL YOU KARIN! THEN HANG YOU BY YOUR TOES! 1X1X1X1X1X1X1X1X1X1! KSUGFUWEIBFIUEGFISEUGISUGRESUV

"Oh shit." I muttered under my breath.

"Why in the world is the girl from the summer soccer game hitting people with a lance?" A gut wrenchingly familiar voice called, and I turned to see a confused Toshirou staring out the window. I scowled and looked away. Bastard.

"Um, I told here I'd call here back, and then I forgot. I guess it was really important to her. She yelled at me this morning, but she was still in Kyoto then." I admitted bashfully, and Toshirou's glorious blue eyes widened.

"You have the most psychotic friends I've ever seen. And how did they get here from Kyoto so fast?" Toshirou said contemptibly, and I glowered.

"They're not psychotic! Nel just has... uh... get-angry-really-easy-over-little-things-phobia. And I don't know." I snapped angrily, and Toshirou stared at me a moment before turning away.

"You're an idiot." He muttered under his breath, and I stiffened. Grabbing a book, I hurled it at Toshirou. It missed, and hit a boy named Tojo instead.

"Wah..." The boy said, then stiffened and said in a creepy voice. "Aliens." With that out of the way, he promptly collapsed. Weird...

"You!" Toshirou shouted, spinning around angrily. I smirked, enjoying myself.

"You what?" I challenged, and before Toshirou could reply, someone called out.

"Look! The principle came out to stop the girl with a stick-"

"It's a lance." Toshirou muttered, and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh shut up." I snapped.

"-and now she's beating him up! It's totally awesome!" The guy yelled, and everyone crowded around the windows, including Toshirou and myself. Indeed, the Principle had come up, and now Nel was whacking him. Ulquiorra was attempting to pull her off him, and sadly failing. I frowned, I couldn't just let Nel wreck mayhem. I had to stop her.

I'm going to die. Sorry everyone. I thought to myself, turning away and exiting the room.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?! Class is going to start!" Toshirou called, and I gritted my teeth. Why did the little bastard always have to get in the way?

"Brilliant observation Einstein! But I need to stop Nel! I started this conflict, and now I'm going to finish it!" I said heroically, and Toshirou rolled his eyes.

"You sounded like an idiot when you said that. Then again," Toshirou smirked that stupid, beautiful smirk of his. "You always sound like an idiot, so that's no great achievement."

I looked around, saw that the hallway was empty, and considered throttling the boy. I didn't though, and glowered at him instead.

"Shuddup. I'm leaving." I growled, turning and sprinting off. To my surprise, Toshirou followed, but I just ignored him. I quickly found myself on the school grounds, where Nel was wreaking havoc. Having waved the red (uh, white. No- purple!) flag, the Principle stood off to the side, nursing his numerous injuries.

"Be careful! That girls a maniac!" He called after us, and I ignored him.

IamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodie. I thought to myself, ignoring the Principles warning. Toshirou obviously agreed with me.

"This is suicide." The white haired boy muttered, but I ignored him.

"Nel! Nel, calm down! It's me Karin!" I yelled, and the green haired girl glanced at me. Her eyes lit up and she sprinted towards me, dropping the sign and hefting her stick thingy (it's a lance. Stupid Toshirou).

IamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodie.

"Nel! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to forget! It was an accident I swear! Nothing even really happened! I just got threw some stuff at Toshirou! Don't hang me by my toes PLEASEEEE!" I bawled. Alright, I'll admit it. I lost it. But you would to if you saw murderous girl running at you with a lance intent on bludgeoning you and then hanging you by your toes.

"Are you serious?! You threw stuff at that hot guy who you hate?!" Nel said demanded, so surprised that she stopped her charge. Stunned at the sudden change in temper (and having serious thoughts about Nel being bipolar) I nodded dully while Toshirou fidgeted slightly. Nel burst out laughing, clutching her sides.

"That's freaking hilarious! I didn't know you had it in you!" Nel cried, rolling on the ground. I exchanged a glance with Ulquiorra, saying quite plainly- wtf?! The boy shrugged nonplussed as well.

"Uh... so are you not going to hurt me?" I asked timidly, and Nel gave me a surprised look.

"Hurt you? Why would I do that?" She asked, and everyone face faulted.

"Oh no reason." I muttered under my breath. Nel noticed Toshirou for the first time.

"Hey, you're that guy! Hello! I'm Nel, and these are my friends- wait a minute, I thought you hated him Karin." Nel said in confusion as Toshirou shifted uncomfortably.

"I do!" I declared. "Forever and ever and ever." Nel blinked, then shrugged.

"Oh. Hey guys, come meet the guy who got his butt checked out by Karin!" Nel yelled, and we both blushed. Everyone, and I mean the whole team, jogged over and crowded around Toshirou, asking him questions (are you single, are you on the school team, are straight, ect, ect).

"Uh, yeah, yes, and yeah- wait, why?" Toshirou asked in confusion, and Grimmjow grinned.

"Cause I'm not." He said with a laugh, and Toshirou slowly backed away from him.

"I'm so outta here." He muttered, and then blinked. "Wait a minute, how did you guys get from Kyoto to here so fast?" Everyone exchanged glances, confused.

"To tell the truth, I can't remember," Ulquiorra admitted. "I just remember Nel was in really, really mad, then there was this flash of light, then-"

"Aliens." Yammy said unexpectedly in the same tone as that Tojo guy from before, and everyone stared at him. What the hell?

"Uh... anyway. I'm going to be late for class. See you guys later," Toshirou said, turning away. "Hopefully not." He muttered under his breath.

"Bye Toshirou!" Grimmjow called, and the white haired boy grimaced. I glanced at my watch. Shit. Toshirou was right; we were going to be late.

"Late Nel!" I yelled, running off back to school.

"Bye!" Nel cried, trying to figure out why she had a funny looking stick in her hand.

Needless to say, we thankfully didn't get in trouble for missing class. In fact, Toshirou and myself were considered heroes for 'saving' the school. There was even an assembly. Unfortunately, my dad came, and everyone watched Ichigo beat him up. It was weird.

But not as weird as what I saw when I turned to look at my Kyoto friends one last time. There was a blinding flash of light, and I covered my eyes. When I removed them, all I could see was a disc shaped ship, flying off in the direction of Kyoto.

"What the heck was that?!" Toshirou demanded, still covering my eyes.

"Aliens." I replied.

There is something seriously wrong with this story.

Author Note: Which means there is something wrong with me. Anyway, read, review, and enjoy! If I get over 70 reviews, I promise to update the chapter after this one in less then a week (oh boy...)

-Firefox