A/N:
First off a huge thank you to my beta c. anna cullen for whipping this out so quickly. Mwa! Also thank you to those of you who put me on your alerts and added this little story on their favorites. Makes me feel all warm inside. If you can, listen to the song I quote at the beginning of the chapter. Start it at the point where Bella and Edward have the talk. You can watch it at http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=cI59cpkFxPo&feature=related
Please leave me your thoughts, so I can keep working on what you want to read or know. Enjoy!
This is my December
this is my time of the year
this is my December
this is all so clear
and I give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to
-MyDecember by Linkin Park
EPOV:
Harder. Faster. Deeper. Push. Push.
Bella's legs tangled in the sheets. Her hair fanned across the pillow. Her soft pink lips. Her mouth parted open.
I need to go deeper.
The soft creamy skin of her bare legs; her thighs, her calf. The soft pick blush on her cheeks. The way her eyes flutter open and closed.
Her soft moans invaded my head and all of my senses. The way she said my name in a half moan, half whisper. "Edward."
Her small hands clutching the bed sheets at her side, while her chest rises and falls.
Deeper, Edward. Deeper. You need to push harder.
The muscles on my back were aching from the strain of the push and pull. Trying to get further in. My legs screamed for a reprieve, but I had to keep going. I need to go deeper.
The sun was rising in the horizon, casting its rays across the beautiful body below me. Suddenly I was falling, falling and I couldn't hold on. I was being rolled under, and something hit me hard on the head. Well, not something. My surfboard.
I swam to the surface and paddled ashore before any more accidents befell me. My head wasn't with me at the moment. I had left it back at the apartment. I'd made my way into the surf and paddled further and further into the ocean. Wanting to go deeper with every image of Bella that filtered into my head, I had been far too distracted to notice the ocean.
Last night, things could have gone so differently. So much so, that I wouldn't be here at the moment if my hormonally filled brain would have had its way. I could be lying in bed next to Bella. Touching her creamy white skin. Running my hands through her soft brown hair. Listening to her soft moans and sighs as she called my name in her sleep.
No, instead I had been a gentleman and given her my bed while I took the couch. Just because she'd fallen asleep in my arms last night didn't mean she was ready to jump into bed with me. That was something we had to work up to. Not that I hadn't wanted to jump her then and there. Those legs! I groaned.
I sat on the beach and watched the sunrise over the crisp blue ocean, trying to get my thoughts in order. Bella was 18 now. We could let ourselves get carried away without any fear of her mother or my parents finding out and me getting sent to jail. Carlisle and Esme would only lecture me about it, but I'm sure Renee would have other plans in mind for me. Although, the way she treated Bella, I was beginning to doubt if she'd even care. We'd been going out for a year now. Seven months of…celibacy. I groaned again while pulling my hair in frustration. I wasn't used to this, wasn't used to not getting any satisfaction when I wanted it and how I wanted it. I'd been with other girls, lots of girls who "put out" without any problems. Hell, some of them were younger than me, 16 or 17 years old. Then again, I had been screwing around since I was 16 and hooked up with anything that had legs. Then I'd met Bella and my entire world had shifted.
~OOO~
"Will you watch where you're going?" I cried out in irritation. I still can't believe that stupid blond dumped me. ME! Edward Cullen!
"I'm sorry," a small voice said from somewhere on the floor. I looked down to see a young girl of about 17 picking up some books that had been scattered when I crashed into her. No, she crashed into me.
I sighed in exasperation. "Here, let me help." I crouched down next to her and helped gather the books. Austen. Figures. Chick lit. I chuckled to myself. Suddenly, the book was being ripped out from my grasp and I was face to face with a set of defensive brown eyes. The lovely face before me was blushing furiously, and a small huff escaped her lips before she stood up, flipping her long brown hair behind her.
She cocked her head at me and raised her brow in defiance. "Are you about done staring at me? Or did I grow a pig's snout like Penelope?" She quipped.
I rose to my feet and closed my mouth. Apparently I had not only been staring but openly gaping at her, if not drooling. Before I could say anything she turned on her heel and walked into the library. I quickly followed her in, but she was nowhere in sight. I walked around the book aisles looking like an idiot until one of the many elderly librarians asked if I needed assistance. I muttered a "no, thank you," before deciding to leave. I couldn't say 'Have you seen a 17-year old girl with brown hair and the most delicious hips you've ever seen? She's got the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes and pouty lips that make you want to suck on them for hours." Yeah, that would go over well.
I walked out to the street in time to hear someone blond guy call out behind me. "See you next week, Isabella."
"See ya, Mike." I heard from behind me. I whirled around to catch a glimpse of her disappear into a blue Chevy being driven by a black haired boy. He looked like he was on steroids.
Isabella. Hmm. Next week it is, Isabella, and that time you will talk to me. I smirked to myself. Good thing I didn't have to worry about the blond any more.
~OOO~
I chuckled. That had been the beginning of my visits to the library. I'd checked out more books than I could remember, not even reading half of them. Well, I did read some Byron and Shakespeare, but only because I knew girls liked poetry and shit. Maybe I had some Bronte and Austen in my collection, but I wasn't about to admit to it.
I had never worked so hard to get a girl's attention or get her to go out with me. I was used to girls falling all over themselves to date me. I'm Edward fuckin' Cullen, of course they wanted to date me! Too bad I'd only wanted to sleep with them; after that they'd lost their appeal.
Bella was different. She'd kept me on my toes from the very beginning. It took me over a month to finally score a date with her. Even then, she let me kiss her good night. Instead, she'd extended her hand and said goodbye in the car. I'd been pissed and sworn not to even try for a second date, but right when she'd gotten to her doorstep, she'd turned and peeked back at me from behind a curtain of hair. It was then I'd known I had a shot. Surprisingly, as time went by and I got to know her, it stopped being about trying to get her into bed and more about wanting to be with her; getting to know what went on inside her mind.
It wasn't a perfect beginning for us. I'd made mistakes and assumptions about her. I'd turned possessive and jealous, almost to the point of losing her. To this day, I wasn't man enough to tell her everything that had happened the winter we had our first big fight. I don't think she'd forgive me if she knew…You were so fucking stupid!
A crowd of girls making noise next to me brought me out of my daze, and I rolled my eyes, realizing they were trying to get my attention. I would have fallen for it before, but now all I could think about was the girl I'd left sleeping in my bed. The way her legs wrapped around the sheet, exposing themselves to me. The steady rise and fall of her chest and the blush that colored her face.
I hadn't been prepared for the sight when I tiptoed into my room this morning to get my board shorts from the closet. I'd stood there watching her sleep and almost fell to my knees when she called my name in her sleep. "Edward." Bella had half whispered, half moaned my name, and the sound had gone straight to my groin. I'd bolted out of there out of fear of what I would do. Surely Bella wouldn't appreciate being woken up to her boyfriend jerking off in front of her.
Great, Cullen. You're no better off now than you were this morning. It's still early, and Bella won't notice your absence. Better get a few more waves in to calm your raging hormones. You'd think you were a horny 13 year old. Bella is going through a lot right now, this isn't the time to be thinking about sex, and why are you talking to yourself?
I picked up my surfboard and ran back into the ocean before the group next to me called for the lifeguard, alerting him to a mental case loitering on the beach.
BPOV
Bella awoke to the sound of the front door closing. She looked around disoriented, not recognizing her surroundings. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she remembered the events from two nights ago. Her miserable birthday party and Edward's pleas to move in with him. She rolled over to glance at the clock on the nightstand. 5 am. Untangling herself free from the bed sheets that were wrapped around her legs, she quietly climbed off the bed. She pulled down her shirt that had ridden up her torso and blushed. Good thing Edward hadn't seen her asleep.
Looking around the living room, she noticed Edward was no longer asleep. In fact, he was nowhere to be found. She sighed and sat on the couch. The apartment was messy, and she was no longer feeling sleepy. A small smile spread across her face as she remembered his words from the night before. She was a neat freak, and it would not be long before she started picking up his things.
She still didn't feel comfortable about kicking him out of his bedroom. He shouldn't be sleeping on the couch. It was much too small for him, and it would do just fine for her. They'd have to discuss that when he returned from wherever he was. It was too early to eat, so instead, Bella busied herself in unpacking her suitcases into the space Edward had made for her in the closet and dresser.
Opening the closet door, she remembered how obsessive Edward was about his shoes. He had more pairs of shoes than she could count, more than she owned. She decided her two pairs would find a good enough home under his bed and was in the process of placing them there when her hand bumped into a hard object. Reaching in, she pulled out a book, The Collective Works of Jane Austen. Oddly enough it looked thoroughly worn out and was bookmarked at a chapter in Pride and Prejudice. Bella giggled to herself at the thought of the cocky bronze haired boy sitting on his couch, reading her favorite story.
~OOO~
It had been the third time in a row she had seen him. Bella was certain that he was watching her. She didn't think she'd see him again after the incident three weeks prior in which he'd not only knocked her over, but ogled her like a piece of ass. She huffed to herself before turning back to her group. They'd been studying at the library for months now, but with her new stalker situation she would have to find a new place.
Mike and Angela said something about looking up more information in the library computer before leaving Bella sitting alone at the secluded table in the back of the library.
Feeling nervous about being approached by the bronze haired boy, Bella decided to go to her favorite place to hide out: the literature section, letter A. She was in the process of leafing through one of her most cherished books when a voice spoke behind her.
"Excuse me; I was hoping you could help me. I seem to have misplaced my copy of 'The Feminine Mystique.'" The bronze haired boy looked down at her and smiled.
Bella turned and was momentarily distracted, lost in a set of deep green eyes. Then, he smirked.
"Do I look like I work here?" She snapped.
"Not quite, but I noticed you're into these types of books, so I figured, why not ask her?" He chuckled.
Something about his attitude irritated her; he was so sure of himself. Surely he got away with talking to other girls in that manner. Bella was not one of those girls.
"What are you currently reading?" he asked while trying to look over her shoulder.
Bella snapped the book shut and shoved it into the bookcase before he could mock one of her favorite authors.
"I don't know where to find your book. Why don't you go ask at the information desk? Ask for Betty Freidan, she's always helpful." She then turned and went back to her table before he could keep interrogating her.
Later, as her group prepared to leave, she spotted the strange boy standing in the same aisle they had been in before. He was leafing through a book, and her stomach flipped at the thought of him discovering the book she had been looking through.
Then, as her ride pulled up to the curb and she was about to climb in the passenger seat, Bella heard his voice in her ear.
"Nicely played, Isabella."
She turned to look at him, surprise showing in her face. He winked and walked away, leaving a stunned Isabella staring after his retreating form.
"Friend of yours?" The boy called from inside the car.
"No, Jake. Not by a long shot."
Bella spent the remainder of the day wondering how he could know her name. They had never spoken until that day. That was the first sleepless night she spent thinking about a set of bright green eyes.
~OOO~
After having picked up all the papers that were lying around the apartment and making breakfast for two, Bella grabbed a towel and went to shower. It was almost 8 am and she wanted to look presentable for Edward's return. She smiled to herself, noticing the toiletries he'd purchased for her, along with a new loofa. Alice would have to be thanked for the insight, unless Edward had made purchases of the sort before. Bella washed away the negative thoughts that threatened to weasel themselves into her subconscious.
She quickly towel dried and wrapped a towel around her torso before exiting the bathroom and running to the bedroom. Opening the door, she was greeted by a shirtless Edward, again.
Bella almost dropped the towel she clutched to her chest at the sight before her. Edward stood staring at her. His bare chest glistening with small drops of water, speckled with a small trimming of hair. His board shorts hung loosely at his hips, exposing the lines of a V that lead…She snapped her eyes back up to his face. He was still staring at her and Bella blushed, remembering her nakedness.
EPOV
For the love of all that's holy! Bella is practically naked in front of you. Jesus Christ! Do something! Don't just stand here gaping at her!
I looked down to the floor only to catch sight of her bare legs. Those calves, her thighs were barely covered by the towel she held in a death grip. Her slender arms were slightly damp from her shower. Her skin looked so soft, I ached to touch it. I wanted to run my fingers from the base of her neck down to the soft mounds of her exposed chest.
She'd let the towel slip in her surprise at seeing me in the room and the tops of her breasts were in display for me to see. Yes, I was staring. I couldn't help myself.
Bella's mouth was once again shaped into an O and I finally realized she was staring at me too.
"Like what you see?" I grinned.
Bella blushed and looked down, biting her lower lip.
"I'll just hop in the shower and leave you to it." Unless you'd care to join me.
I grabbed a towel from the nearby hamper and shut the bathroom door behind me. Leaning against it, I took a deep breath. Bad idea, Cullen. The air in the room was still damp and smelled of Bella, strawberries and honey. My shorts were painfully tight now that my cock stood at full attention. God, I hope Bella didn't catch my dick giving her a standing ovation. I groaned and turned on the shower before stripping out of my wet board shorts.
My problem could be easily remedied, but it would be poor taste to get myself off with Bella in the next room. I turned the water to cold instead.
I finished my shower quickly and got dressed. I walked into the kitchen to discover Bella had made breakfast. We ate in an awkward silence. It was bad enough we'd caught each other half naked more than once in the past two days, but we still hadn't talked about what happened on her birthday. It needed to be addressed. We cleaned up and I decided it was time to talk.
"Bella, can we talk about what happened Friday night?" I looked at her hopefully.
She fidgeted and nodded, then stood and went to sit on the couch looking out the window. I sat next to her and turned to face her, giving her time to gather her thoughts.
"It didn't use to be that bad," she began in a soft voice. "Renee never used to drink that much. It was a few drinks here and there, from time to time. She used to be passed out on the couch when I came home from school. She started drinking more and more when she met Phil. It got to the point where I knew the house would be a disaster when I got home. I'd go around collecting beer cans and cups from the kitchen counter to the back patio. One day they had a huge fight, and he stopped coming around. Things calmed down for a bit then. Not because she stopped drinking, but because she drank herself into a stupor and never left her room.
"Things got worse this summer, when I went to visit Charlie." A tear trickled down her cheek, and she wiped it away with her hand. I reached out and gave her other hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. She turned to look at me and gave me a weak smile before continuing.
"I don't visit Charlie often, but he'd insisted I go up to Washington to visit him, so I did."
I nodded, remembering how nervous she'd been even though I'd promised to talk to her on the phone the whole week she was there.
"As you know, Charlie had remarried the previous month and he wanted me to meet his new family." She chewed on her lip as more tears slipped down her cheek. "His wife, Sue has a daughter, and he's been busy making a new home with them. He wanted me to fit in and get along with them, but I couldn't. I felt like I was cheating on Renee. Leah hadn't been very welcoming, and I cut my visit short by a week. I didn't tell you this, but Charlie had wanted me to spend two weeks wit him. One week had been enough for me. Charlie and I didn't leave in very good terms when he took me to the airport, and I hadn't heard from him since, until last month.
"One afternoon I came home from work to find Renee in one of her moods, so I tried to stay out of her way. I'd gone in my room and was about to change when she stormed in waving an envelope. It was addressed to me with a return address of Forks, Washington. She'd opened it and was waving a card in my face. Sue had sent me a card telling me Charlie missed me, but was too proud to admit it. She wanted to wish me an early happy birthday and asked me to visit again.
"Renee started screaming at me about having finally found my dream mother, and that I was replacing her. Asking how long we'd been writing back and forth. I told her I hadn't heard from any of them until that day, but she didn't believe me. She accused me of lying and threw a book at me. That's how I got the bruise in my arm, the one I said I got when I bumped into the bookcase. Renee has caused most of the bruises I've had. She recently started punching me with her fists, but Friday night was the first time she'd hit me in the face. I…I never thought she'd go that far. I hadn't expected it." Bella looked up with tears in her eyes, her chin quivering and began to sob.
I pulled her into my arms and rubbed her back, telling her it was OK now. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt her any more. Not emotionally or physically. I repeated over and over that she deserved better. She deserved to be happy.
"Bella, Bella, sweetheart. It's all right now. You're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you. I love you. I'll protect you. I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe."
I continued rubbing her back and placing gentle kisses on her head. I kissed her tears away, kissed her cheeks, and her eyes. I placed soft kisses on her lips, and she eventually kissed me back. Her arms reached up to my neck and pulled me closer to her. I pulled on her bottom lip, nibbling it softly, eliciting a sigh from Bella.
"Bella…"
She leaned forward, getting on her knees, pushing her body flush against mine. She weaved her hands into the hair at the nape of my neck and tugged, causing me to moan. I loved when she played with my hair. I continued my attack on her lower lip and drew out my tongue to taste it, pulling it further into my mouth, asking for permission to let me in. Bella moaned into the kiss and parted her mouth, allowing my tongue to explore it.
I lost my balance when her soft tongue met mine, and we fell back onto the couch, her on top of me. I could feel her entire body against mine, and I was growing decidedly harder under my jeans. My hands roamed to Bella's back and stroked at her sides. Working my way down her sides, I grazed her breasts, and she stiffened. I stopped and opened my eyes to meet hers. She was staring at me with surprise but smiled shyly before continuing the kiss.
Our tongues danced around each other at a smooth tempo, meeting in the middle or peeking out to taste the other's lips. Bella's hands stayed in my hair, and her breath became ragged when I rubbed my thumbs in circles on the side of her breast. I kept one hand where it was and moved the other lower, lower to the curve of her lower back. I kissed her harder and moved my hand to her robust behind and gave it a tentative squeeze. This caused Bella to moan again, and I felt emboldened to continue. I rubbed her ass and her kiss became frenzied.
We couldn't get close enough, deep enough into each other's mouths. I moved my other hand down to her backside and pressed her against me. I wanted her to feel what she was doing to me. My erection was now pressed flush against her thigh and I ground into her slowly. Bella's eyes popped open then, and she sat up abruptly. Her mouth was shaped into that O again, her chest rising and falling with every breath she took. A beautiful pink hue covered her neck and rose to her cheeks while she looked down and timidly ran her fingers over the fly of my jeans, caressing my hard cock. Fuck, if she does that again I was going to combust.
I wanted to keep going. I was enjoying myself too much, but I knew the conversation wasn't over, so I gently moved her hand from my crotch and sat up to meet her.
"Bella, as much as I'd love to continue this," I shifted my hips to meet hers, "I don't think you're finished telling me why things got so out of hand with your mother."
"I don't want to talk about it. Can't we just take a breather for a while?" she asked as she ground into me, effectively cutting me off. She leaned in and tugged my hair, bringing my face to hers and kissed me hard.
Bella Swan is going to be the death of me.