A/N Sorry this took a little over a week to post. It's been busy for both my beta and myself. Wanted to take a moment to ask if there was anyone interested in being a second beta for this fic. Please send me a PM if you are. Without further delay…here's Surferward for you. I highly recommend you download the following song to read along on loop with this chapter Krwlng by Linkin Park from their Reanimation album. It's an instrumental piece or listen to it on YouTube at the following links IN THAT ORDER
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=bMrG2G_t6Yk
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=7kayOogsjb4&NR=1&fmt=18
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=GygyvPupDx0
"Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real"
'Crawling' by Linkin Park, Hybrid Theory
"You ungrateful, little whore! After everything I've done for you! This is how you repay me? Is she nice? I bet she's prettier than me, isn't she? Did you have fun playing house with your daddy and his new family? Answer me!"
Renee's screams could be heard from outside the small, two-story house in the quiet suburban neighborhood.
"Is that why you went for? To meet your new mommy? How long have you been writing to her? If you think for one second that I'm going to let you leave to live with Charles and his new trophy wife, you are sadly mistaken, Isabella!"
The girl tried to protest, but all she got for her efforts were bruised arms. Renee threw anything within arm's reach at the defenseless seventeen year old while she tried to shield her face with her hands. Her battered arms could be hidden away in long sleeved shirts, but her face could not. After countless episodes resembling this one, Bella had learned how to hide the marks to prevent the curious looks and incessant questions.
"To think I chose you over Phil, for what? For you to go and leave me? You little slut. I knew keeping you would bring me nothing but trouble. Your own father didn't want you, so I was stuck with you, and now you're stuck with me. The moment I learn you've gone to Washington I will drag you back by the hair, and you'll be very sorry you ever defied me. Do you hear me?"
Bella stood quivering at the far end of her bedroom and waited until her mother left, slamming the door behind her, to let her emotions free. She ran to the restroom in time to vomit in the toilet, dry heaving for several minutes while the tears streamed down her face. She stifled her sobs the best she could; she was not going to let Renee know how much she affected her. Bella had promised herself Renee would never know all the pain she went through, even if she didn't want her own daughter.
~OOO~
Those same words now rang in her head, and Bella desperately tried to forget them by losing herself in Edward. She needed him to make her forget.
Your own father didn't want you…
She dug her nails into Edward's scalp while pressing her hips against his. She could tell he was aroused. It wouldn't take long to convince him to take her.
I was stuck with you, and now you're stuck with me…
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she stifled a sob with a kiss. She kissed Edward with everything she had, her body trembling with the painful memories that assaulted her.
Edward's hands roamed her back, and one moved to cup her face. He felt her tear strained cheeks and knew something wasn't right.
You ungrateful, little whore…
Edward pulled away from her kiss the moment Bella collapsed into a pool of tears. She was not a whore. She'd never had a boyfriend until Edward, and they had never gone beyond making out on his sofa.
He tried to get her to face him, but she wouldn't budge. She continued rocking herself back and forth, clutching his t-shirt with her fists. All Edward could hear were the sobs that reverberated from her chest and escaped her lips. Every so often she would mumble something. When he was able to decipher her words, his body went ice cold.
"I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a whore. Edward loves me. I'm not a whore."
"Bella, what are you saying?" He asked, concerned. "Bella, of course I don't think you're a whore! Where did you get that idea? Bella, please, talk to me. Look at me, Bella!" He pulled her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. She was lost in her thoughts, and it took a moment for her to recognize where she was. Blinking through her tears, she saw Edward's agonized face before flinging her body to his in a tight embrace.
"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" She sobbed.
"Baby, don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. Who said you were a slut? I don't think that about you, you know that, right? I would never force you to do anything you're not ready for.
"I know, Edward," she mumbled into his neck. Her sobs had subsided and she tried to regain her breathing pattern. "I wasn't talking about you...I really don't know what came over me." She lied. It would not do any good to tell him everything her mother had called her. It would only bring about more questions as to why, and she was not ready to share that story. Bella could barely remember what had happened that night...she didn't want Edward to think less of her. She needed him right now. He was all she had.
"Do you mind if we do something else for a while. I really don't want to talk about Renee any more. I just…I need...air."
"Anything you want, doll. How about going for a walk down to the pier? We'll get some fresh air and maybe grab some lunch on the way back. If you're good, I might let you go in the library, but I'm not sure if I want to share you with Dickens just yet, he tends to take your undivided attention." He joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Don't worry, Edward, I'll let you have Austen if you let me have Dickens," she replied placing a kiss on his cheek before scurrying into the bathroom to wash her face.
"I have no idea what you mean, Mrs. Bennett. I plead the fifth," he said with a grin.
"Uh huh, sure, Mr. Darcy, I won't tell anyone about your secret stash under the bed," was her reply from the doorway.
Edward's jaw dropped. "Uhh, that's not mine, Alice must have left it here." He tried to look appalled but failed miserably.
"Edward Cullen, I do believe you're blushing!"
"Am not! Come, let's get some fresh air, you're starting to hallucinate." With that he took her hand in his, pulled her out of the apartment and locked the door behind them.
They spent the remainder of the day walking along the beach and on the pier. Bella had never frequented the beach, until she met Edward. She didn't like the heat or the rays of the sun on her face. She didn't think she had a body to show off and felt inadequate in those ridiculously small bikinis the girls her age wore. Her skin was too pale and would go straight from pale to sun burnt, so there was no point in trying to get a tan.
She knew Edward spent most of his time at the beach, and it showed on his tan, lean body. His job required it. Edward Cullen was one of the best surfers in Southern California and had even competed in the amateur circles. He had been approached to compete in the Billabong AP tournament that summer, but he'd turned down the offers. He'd wanted to spend time with Bella and knew that training and traveling would take too much of his time. He was still young and could join any time in the future. For now, he was content giving surfing lessons to the locals and tourists.
Edward had taken Bella to some of his favorite beaches, from Huntington to Laguna and down south to San Onofre. He wanted to share that part of his world with her. As they walked hand in hand along the beach trail, he chuckled to himself.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, just remembering one of my…um…students. He smiled.
~OOO~
"So the first thing you need to do is get on the middle of board, and get your balance," he instructed the girl next to him.
"The best way to do this is by simply grabbing onto the board lengthwise, and once you're on, scooting up to the middle. Don't try to get on sideways because you'll flip over."
The girl nodded attentively, holding on to the small surfboard in front of her. Her eyes darted from the board to the instructor's lean, tanned chest. It was wet. She wanted to nuzzle it with her cheek, or lick it, or both at the same time. Instead, she dug her nails into the board and blamed her blush on the warm summer air. The brunette pulled her hand out of the water to fan herself, splashing said chest in the process, completely by "accident" of course.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, except she wasn't sorry. Now the water was dripping down his chest to where his hips met the ocean water. Her eyes snapped up before the bronze haired God could catch them wondering to the treasure covered by his board shorts. Edward Cullen was hot. She could admit that to herself now, but she would not admit it to him yet. It was only their fifth date, so it was much too soon to be admitting any sort of feelings to him, but she was definitely attracted.
"Give it a try. I'll be right here if you capsize." He grinned.
Bella hoisted herself onto the surfboard with only one wobble. She turned to grin triumphantly at him before maneuvering her body to the middle of the board like he'd instructed earlier.
"Now what?"
"Okay, now just get used to the board. Bring your hand out and wade along the water a bit, see if you can propel yourself forward without falling."
She bit her lip in concentration following his instructions. Surfing was easy so far. After having traveled a few feet, she turned her head to look behind her and caught Edward staring at her. Bella cocked her eyebrow and smirked.
"Enjoying the view?"
He grinned sheepishly while running his hand through his hair, causing it to get damp in the process. Now it was Bella's turn to stare.
"Are you?" He grinned broadly.
"Oh yes, that guy behind you has the most amazing body; it's like the bodysuit leaves nothing to the imagination. Why don't you wear one?" She asked cheekily.
Edward turned to catch a glimpse of one of his surfing buddies, Emmett, packing his things up on the beach.
"Well, for one, I'm not an exhibitionist like Emmett over there, and two, I prefer to only wear the suits during competitions. However, I'm more than happy to introduce you two if he's more your type."
"No, no, that's okay. Maybe later," Bella mumbled.
"You sure? He's been staring at you for the past half hour. I wouldn't mind at all." Edward turned and called the burly, tall, man-child on the beach. Emmett looked up and after a head nod, waded into the surf to join them.
"Hey Emmett, catch any good waves today?"
"Some, but I was mostly assessing the female population today. You gotta learn to differentiate between the groupies and the beach bunnies here, buddy." He slapped Edward playfully on the back causing him to wince.
"I see you're in the middle of a lesson?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow at the bronze haired God.
"Actually we're-"
"Yep, very first lesson. I'm Bella, what's your name, handsome?" She asked, sitting up on the surfboard and extending her hand to the man-child that towered over her.
"Emmett," he replied, taking her tiny hand in his. "Edward treating you okay, Bella? I hear he can be quite the tyrant with new students."
"Yeah, yeah, we've just been wading in the kiddy section of the beach today. I think he enjoys staring at my ass. Maybe I'll take a photo for him to keep in his wallet." She quipped.
Emmett let out a booming laugh that caused Bella to grip onto her surfboard lest she should fall into the water.
"Did you know you get the most adorable dimples when you laugh, Emmett?" She flirted.
He grinned in response. "I had no idea."
"Mmmhmm, maybe after I'm done being used as eye candy we can grab a bite to eat. What do you say Em?"
Edward started at the interaction between the two of them and felt ill. This was supposed to be his date with Bella, not the introduction of Bella and Emmett, may they live happily ever after.
"Sounds great, I'm just gonna drop some stuff off and I'll be back in an hour. Edward should be done with you by then." He winked.
Edward was about to protest when Bella interrupted him.
"Tell Rose to tag along. I haven't seen her in ages! Oh, and also tell her she's in big trouble for not telling me her man-child of a boyfriend was a surfer. I could have taken lessons from you a long time ago and completely impressed Edward with my mad surfing skills."
"Will do Bells, but you better leave Edward at home unless you want him to go under the Rose inquisition of 2007, no offense, Eddie." With that, Emmett left a stunned Edward and a grinning Bella in the water.
"Edward, close your mouth, you don't want to drink the salt water."
"Bella, Bella, Bella, you never cease to surprise me. How do you know Emmett?"
"Oh, well he's Rose's boyfriend. Rose and I are friends from high school, but I don't see her as much now that she went off to college. We sometimes get together in the summer or when she visits during holidays, but she spends most of that time with her family or that big lug. I understand though. If I had a boyfriend I'd want to spend most of my time with him as well." She rambled until it was too late to keep the last sentence from escaping her lips. "Umm, how do you know Emmett?"
"Emmett and I met at one of the amateur competitions in Huntington Beach about two years ago. We got to talking afterwards and we just hang out from time to time. Share surfing tips and information on new boards and such. I hear he's going to be surfing in the professional leagues next summer. Maybe he can give me an insider look into the competition."
"So you want to do this professionally?"
"Yeah, someday. I haven't really looked into sponsorships or tried getting into the AP tours, but we'll see. For now, how 'bout we continue the lesson, unless you're tired?" he asked with a smile.
The way Edward looked at Bella gave her goose bumps despite the warm ocean water. There was an intensity in his eyes that she had not noticed before. She was transfixed not only by his deep green gaze, but by his confidence. He knew what he wanted. He had chosen a path to travel for his future. Bella suddenly felt young and inadequate next to the 19-year-old boy. She still didn't understand why he would choose her, a 17 year old, to spend his time with, but she was beginning to not care. He seemed genuinely interested and, besides her friend Jacob, no one had ever shown interest in her.
The surfing lesson continued without incident and ended a few minutes before Bella was to meet Emmett for lunch. Usually, Edward was the one to initiate the good-bye kiss but this time Bella surprised him. As he dropped her off at the cozy little restaurant in front of the beach, she reached up on her tiptoes and, winding her arms around his neck, pulled his face down to meet hers. She gave him a soft, sweet kiss that lasted mere moments, but stayed with her the remainder of the day. Bella could tell it had an effect on Edward by the way he stood in a trance before his face was illuminated by a shy smile.
For the first time in her young life, Bella was falling in love.
~OOO~
The sun began to set while the couple walked along the quaint downtown streets. Eventually they came upon a bench situated in front of a very familiar building.
"Ah, the scene of the crime," Bella smiled.
"What crime would that be?"
"The beginning of your failed stalking career."
"Stalking? I don't recall ever stalking anyone."
"Of course you don't, Edward, because you were horrible at it. I spotted you a mile away. I'm surprised Jacob didn't beat you up at least once."
"I was not stalking you. I love to read," he replied with iciness I his tone. Belle didn't understand why, but every time Jacob was mentioned, Edward's mood would turn frosty. She had tried asking him why, but he never gave her a straight answer.
Bella sighed. "I was joking, Edward. I just meant to say that it was funny. I could always spot you from wherever you were observing me. I was sort of creepy sometimes." She shuddered.
"Really?" He asked surprised.
"Sometimes/" She shrugged. "You have to admit it was strange, Edward. I had never seen you in or around the library before and all of a sudden you were everywhere. Every time I looked up you were watching me. Not to mention you're older than me by 2 years. What college student follows a girl around? A girl who is not his girlfriend, I mean." Bella had never revealed this to Edward, and it caught him by surprise.
"Hmm, you have a point, but can you blame me?" He smiled taking her hand in his. "If I hadn't 'stalked you' we wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't have the most beautiful, spunky, outspoken, sexy girl as my girlfriend," he stated proudly causing Bella to blush.
"I love seeing your blush color your face, Bella." He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand in a gesture of wonder and love. "It makes you even more alluring than you already are," he added in a whisper before meeting her lips with his. Edward kissed her tenderly, cupping her face with one hand and bringing the other to her waist. The two of them stood in front of the library, caught in a sweet and loving kiss while the sun sank below the blue ocean waves in the horizon.
The shop lights illuminated the streets of the old style town. Parts of it were closing up and saying good-bye to the day whereas others were awakening to welcome the night. Couples began to fill the streets and restaurants played romantic songs that weaved their melodies into the cool night air. Bella and Edward slowly made their way home. His arm wrapped around her shoulders and Bella's around his waist. From time to time, he'd look down and nuzzle her hair, or she would bury herself further into his side. Bella had never felt as loved and protected as she did in that moment and was unwilling to let go of the moment. She wanted it to last forever.
They entered the apartment in silence stopping to open the windows to allow for the sounds of the town to come inside. Bella sat on the couch as Edward went about his routine of checking his phone messages and mail. Tomorrow would bring back the reality of every day life. He'd have to go back to his lessons, and she would have to go back to her job. The weekend had been full of ups and downs, but it was time to wake up out of the dream and go back to real life.
"Umm, Edward?" she asked shyly from her perch on the couch.
"Yeah, babe?" he replied distractedly.
"Can we talk about our new living situation?" She picked at the sleeves in her blouse, waiting for his answer.
"What about it, babe?" He continued his tasks.
Bella waited patiently until he stopped and looked up at her to meet her expectant gaze. She had that look on her face. The one that let him know she meant business. He set his phone and mail down on the countertop before joining her on the couch.
"I'm sorry, baby, I'm all ears." He pecked her on the lips.
"Well, I just wanted to sort through some things. I want you to hear me out before you protest. I know I'm a guest here, but I don't want to wear out my welcome since school won't start for another month. I mean…if you can stand me intruding on your space for that long."
"Bella, don't even think about it. You can stay here as long as you need to. Think of it as your home now. Even when you go off to school, you can always come back here during holiday breaks. I expect you to." He looked at her seriously to communicate his decision.
She nodded and continued, "Okay. In that case, I want to help you with the rent and food. Tell me how much you pay and I'll pay for half of-"
"Nonsense, Bella. You're not paying for anything. Save your money for school and schoolbooks. I'm taking care of you."
"Edward, be serious. I -"
"I'm completely serious, Bella. I make more than enough money to support us both."
"Edward, please? Won't you let me -"
"No, Bella. Don't ask me again," he said sternly.
"Edward Anthony Cullen. You listen to me. I will not have you paying for my things like I'm some needy child. I can take care of myself. I want to help you. I don't mind. If you won't let me help you with the rent, I will help with food money. Don't bother arguing with me because I'm going to do it like it or not!"
She stared at him from across the couch daring him to challenge her. He opened his mouth as if to speak but shut it quickly at her determined look. He knew better than to argue with her.
"Fine," he grumbled slumping back on the couch. "Anything else?"
"Yes." She paused before chewing on her lip.
Her bravado had dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. She had thought about her next request throughout the day but suddenly felt nervous about mentioning it.
"I was thinking…" she fidgeted on the couch trying to soften the cushions.
"Just say it, Bella. What other requirements do you have?" He snapped.
Her face darkened at his tone giving her courage to speak.
"Well, Edward. I don't want you sleeping on the couch. You're too big for it, and it won't help out your body at all. Especially with all the strenuous work you do giving your lessons. You need to be able to relax and get a good night's sleep, which I doubt you'll achieve in this lumpy old thing." She punctuated this with a punch to the cushions.
"I'll sleep on the floor then."
"No, Edward."
"You're not sleeping on the couch, Bella!" He stood up in frustration.
"Who said I was sleeping on the couch?"
"You're not sleeping on the floor!" He rubbed his face exasperated.
"I know that, Edward! You're sleeping on the bed with me!" She yelled.
Edward looked up flabbergasted. "What did you…"
"I don't want you sleeping on the couch or the floor. Your bed is big enough for both of us to sleep in comfortably. I trust you not to try anything and respect me, Edward. I trust you."
Bella's cell phone rang before Edward could respond. Reaching into her backpack, she pulled it out to check the caller I.D.
"It's Jacob. I haven't talked to him since Friday morning. He must be worried about me. I have to take this."
She looked to Edward for some sign that he'd heard everything she'd said, but all she saw was coldness in his eyes.
"Fine. I'm going for a walk. Don't wait up." He walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
Bella could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She didn't understand how Edward could go from warm to cold so fast. She wiped away her tears with the back of her sleeve before answering the phone that continued ringing in her hand.
"Hey, Jake. I'm okay. I'm sorry I haven't called, I have so much to tell you."
A/N Ok now after listening to the music go check out the song lyrics. It'll bring everything together, trust me and please, please, please review.