Hello hello! SO as promised, here's the next chapter. I want to thank my beta c. anna cullen for her help in correcting all my comma mistakes. I swear she's a saint cause she doesn't yell at me for having to write comma 100 times. Please, please review. I'll try to have the next chapter by March or earlier, depends on feedback ;) Thank you to those of you who reviewed so far and those who put me in your Favorite author/story alerts!

Not sure if anyone listens to the songs I suggest but it helps me write and get in the zone. I find the music and lyrics help my brain going for what I'm trying to get across so I hope you get a chance to listen to them, if you want. :)

Today's song can be found on www(dot)youtube(com)/watch?v=uSH9Aah813U&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Piano version is at www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v+w45xh9Elfk&feature+youtube_gdata_player, make sure to press play on the piano version when you read "three months later..."

You say the weight of the world
Has kept you from letting go
And you think compassion's a flaw
And you'll never let it show
And you're sure you've hurt in a way
That no one will ever know
But someday the weight of the world
Will give you the strength to go

Robot Boy- Linkin Park, A Thousand Suns album

EPOV

"Renee needs a liver and kidney transplant. I had Dr. Peterson see if I was compatible to donate one of my kidneys to her."

"You can't be serious, Bella!" I exclaimed. That woman had been nothing but cruel to Bella and she wanted to donate a kidney to her? What was she thinking?

"Edward, she's my mother. I'm not going to let her die just because she hit me a few times. What kind of horrible person would that make me?"

"Bella, be reasonable-"

"You can either support me on this or not, Edward, but I'm going through with it. If I'm a match, I'm going through with it, and you can't stop me."

A man, whom I presumed to be Dr. Peterson, came up to us then. "Bella, I have the results in. As you know, we haven't found a match for a liver transplant, and like I said yesterday, the chances of your mother receiving it are slim to none. With her history of alcoholism, there is a strong possibility she will be denied. The hospital board doesn't think a person with her history and disregard of her own body should be given a healthy liver just to destroy it. Before I give you your test results I'd like to reiterate what I said yesterday. I don't think a person as young and healthy as you should put her own life and health in danger for someone that may not come out of the coma. Even if she did, without a liver transplant her odds of survival are minimal. She might not live more than a month."

I stood and watch Bella take in the information, horrified that she would go so far in trying to help a woman that didn't deserve her love and kindness. I couldn't let her go through with it.

"I understand, Doctor. I haven't changed my mind since last night. If I can help her live at least one more month, then I'll be okay with that. I can't just stand by and do nothing, knowing that I could have helped make her life easier."

"Bella, please-"

"Edward, if you're going to be here for me then be here for me. Otherwise-"

"Otherwise what?" I snapped. My eyes dilated in fear and anger. I swallowed the lump in my throat and hoped she wasn't about to say what I thought she was.

"Maybe you should leave," she whispered.

I snapped my mouth shut and bit back the bitter reply that bubbled to my lips. I had promised her mere minutes ago that I'd try. I didn't agree with her decision, but I had to respect it and support her if I wanted our relationship to have any sort of future. I wanted it to.

I closed my eyes for a moment and let out a gust of air through my nose. I opened them to find Bella looking intently at me, and I nodded to her. She furrowed her eyebrows before letting her face fall. The sadness the flashed through her eyes was quickly replaced with disappointment. She thought I was going to leave her again.

"Dr. Peterson, can you give us a minute?"

I pulled Bella by her elbow until we stood at the waiting room entrance.

"Edward, what? If you're going to leave then leave. I understand if you don't want to be here. I can have Jake wait it out with me. You don't have to hang around if it makes you uncomfortable. I know it doesn't make sense to you, but it makes sense to me. I can't just let her lie there and die. I have to do something."

She looked up from the floor but wouldn't meet my eyes. I could still see that shadow of disappointment and fear. I felt the need to show her I wasn't that guy anymore. I wasn't the guy who bailed when things got tough, but I wasn't going to just stand by and let her make one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

"Bella, I'm not leaving. I'm going to stay here and keep you company for the remainder of the day, and then we are both going home so you can get some proper rest. I don't agree with your decision to donate your kidney to your mother, but I won't leave you to deal with it alone. Yes, Jacob is here, I get that, but it's my job to be here for you."

"Your job? It's not your job to do anything, Edward. I'm capable of taking care of myself. I'm a big girl," she huffed in annoyance.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it. I'm your boyfriend. I'm going to be here for you, no matter what. If you want to go ahead with this, then do it, you are a big girl, I'm sure you've weighed the consequences properly. I don't understand your reasoning or support it 100%, but I will be here for you no matter what. Count on that, Bella."

Bella tilted her head to the side while she thought over my words. After a few seconds, she nodded and turned to walk back to Dr. Peterson. Before she could go more than a step, I pulled her arm causing her to turn towards me again. She gave me an odd look before I pulled her into a tight hug and pecked her lips softly.

Pressing my forehead to hers, I looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes and whispered an "I love you". A soft pink spread through her cheeks down to her collar as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled.

"Never forget that."

Sometimes I found it disconcerting how low her self-esteem was. I could see it in her eyes; she was skeptical of why I loved her, or even that I loved her.

I gave her one last squeeze before entwining our hands together and walking back to where Dr. Peterson stood waiting.

~oOo~

6 months earlier…

We were sitting on my living room couch, flipping through channels on the television. Bella's mom was God knows where, so I didn't have to worry about getting her home any time soon. Nights like these were rare for us. She was usually rushing home to finish up her schoolwork and make dinner for her and Renee. Since it was her last semester as a senior, Bella was slammed with tests and projects in all her classes. It didn't help that most of them were advanced placement classes, which meant she spent most of her time reading at the library or typing on her laptop. Between her studying for her SAT's and her upcoming AP exams, we hardly got to spend more than a few hours together every week.

Tonight was an exception; it was a Friday night, no pending deadlines and no work for another week. The bookstore she worked at was getting renovated, so she'd been free for a week now. It was heaven. Spending time with her, no matter in what capacity it may be was always they highlight of my day. Who would have guessed that Edward Cullen would be whipped by a 17-year-old girl? Not me, that's for sure.

I lightly ran my fingers up and down the length of her arm. She was tucked in to my side, her head leaning lazily on my chest, our feet stretched out in front of us.

"Ohh, what's that show about?"

I glanced on the screen watching some teenagers having some party at the beach. "Umm, 90210, I think. The remake."

"Remake?"

"Yeah, there was an original version back in the early 90s. I never saw it because I was too young for that kind of thing, but Carlisle saw it once or twice."

"How do you know?"

I chuckled. "Dad had a massive crush on one of the actresses. We bumped into her once, at the airport. We were coming back from one of our many family trips, this one was from NYC I think. Anyway, it was two or three years back, we were standing at the baggage claim in LAX when this blonde woman brushed by us."

I laughed out loud remembering the expression in Carlisle's face. Bella sat up to look at me and grinned.

"What happened?"

"I have to admit, she was good looking. Well, Carlisle just stared. I think his jaw dropped a little, and his eyes bugged out. Mom looked from him to the actress and just shook her head. Dad was so dumbstruck, he didn't even say hello or anything. It was Mom who tapped the woman on the shoulder and asked if Carlisle could get a picture. I think he secretly carries it in his wallet to this day." I shook my head laughing.

"Who? I wanna see. Show me who?" Bella bounced excitedly on the couch.

I pulled out my phone, Googled the actress and showed it to Bella.

"Oh! She's pretty. Your dad has a thing for Jennie Garth?" She giggled looking at me and back at the screen.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing," she shook her head and laughed, "I was just wondering if I would have ended up dating some gorgeous blonde babe if your dad had ran off with her." Bella burst into laughter, tears rolling down her face, collapsing back onto the couch. She clutched at her stomach, trying to catch her breath, and I pounced.

"Isabella, are you replacing me with an imaginary Jennie-Carlisle kid?"

She shook her head no but couldn't control her laughter.

"Hmm, you're going to have to be punished."

I started tickling her sides mercilessly. She squirmed underneath me and tried to push me off. She started bucking her hips against mine causing me to let out a groan. I 'm sure it wasn't her intention, but my body reacted to her rubbing up against my crotch. I gripped her hips with my hands and descended upon her neck. I was licking and nipping at her soft skin, eliciting soft giggles that transformed into moans of pleasure. Her hands that had been pushing at my chest suddenly started gripping my shirt, pulling me closer to her. One of her hands slid up to my hair pulling on it roughly. I stopped my nibbling to look up to her, afraid I was going too far, but her hand only pushed my face back down to her neck. Bella was enjoying my attentions.

We'd been going out for six months now, three if you took the one week break into consideration. We still never did anything more than making out on my couch, so this was a big step forward for me, for us. I know what you're thinking: Edward Cullen has been with the same girl for 6 months now and hasn't nailed her yet? I know, shocker! I have an explanation though. I had wanted to sleep with Bella since the first moment I saw her outside that library, but after all the effort it took me to finally get a date with her, I realized it was going to be a slow climb. Don't get me wrong; she was worth the struggle, worth the effort. I knew that now. Three months ago, that's another story. Three months ago, we'd had our first big fight. I had asked her to be my girlfriend just days before and ended up fucking things up royally. More than she knows.

See, I thought we'd broken up; she thought we were on a break. Well, being the asshole I am, I started fooling around to get back at her. She'd gotten under my skin, and I wanted her out, so I had the brilliant idea to expunge her from my mind by being with other girls. I cheated on Isabella Swan. I am an asshole. The moment after it happened, I knew I was screwed, no pun intended. I thought it would be the most fantastic feeling to finally have sex with some random girl after my three-month drought, but I was sorely mistaken. The second it was over, I wanted to take it back. I wanted Bella back. I swallowed my pride and dragged my sorry ass to Bella's house ready to grovel and plead my case. To my surprise, she took me back without questions. Saying she'd missed me during our break. I asked her to be my girlfriend, and Bella said yes, for the second time. I felt like a heel.

During the week we were "on a break," she didn't see anyone else. She said it felt like she was cheating on me. She had no idea I had actually cheated on her. I'd slept with another girl, one of my surfing students. I was too much of a coward to tell her. I couldn't crush her like that. I was selfish. I couldn't have her look at me with disgust in her eyes. I would only confirm everything she'd been told about me. I wanted to tell her, but knew I'd lose her if I did so I kept it to myself, comforted with the knowledge that Bella would never run into that girl and never find out what I'd done.

Now, three months later here I was on my living room couch, making out with Bella. I'd taken it slow since that day we got back together, trying not to push too far, too fast. Bella was innocent, that much I knew. She was still a virgin so I had to take my time with her, wait until she was ready. Her first time had to be special. I was determined to make it special; she deserved that after what I'd done.

I licked her down the length of her collarbone. Below her chin, taking soft nibbles in between. I licked and sucked at her tender flesh, slowly moving down to the hollow of her throat. Bella was panting and moaning below me, one hand clutching my hair while the other grabbed at my shoulder, pulling me to her. I roamed my hands up and down her sides, tracing her ribs through her shirt. Her body reacted to my touch, and her breathing became ragged when I dipped my tongue below the collar of her blouse, tasting the soft flesh above her breasts. My hand gripped her hips while the other started its ascent to the hem of her blouse. I moved the material up, inch by inch, until I touched the creamy soft flesh beneath. Bella let out a whimper when my fingers came in contact with her skin as I traced small lazy circles along her hipbone.

I continued my exploration on her skin and decided to try something different. I moved my mouth back to hers and was surprised at the force in which she returned my kiss. We were both breathing heavy as our mouths moved in unison. Lips kissing lips, both of us taking and receiving. I sucked on her bottom lip, knowing it drove her wild, and she tugged at mine in return. I darted my tongue out to taste her lips and was rewarded by another moan and whimper. I was lying fully on top of her now with my hand trapped between our bodies as I lightly traced the planes of her stomach. Our bodies where lined up perfectly, me in between her legs, as we kissed each other tenderly. Without warning, Bella brought her tongue to meet mine, and suddenly we were exploring each other's mouths. She was tentative at first, touching her tongue to mine, tasting my lips, tasting me. Our tongues began a slow sensual dance while our hands touched each other reverently. Her arm running up and down my back, my hand inching its way up her skin. Bella started rubbing one of her legs up and down the side of mine, and I started to rub myself against her center. The friction caused me to groan like a school boy.

I broke our kiss to bring my mouth back to her neck. I started to suck and lick once again, moving lower until I reached the collar of her shirt. I nudged it aside with my nose to expose the top of her creamy white flesh. I dipped my tongue in and out fast, causing her to whimper loudly and mumble incoherently. I was glad to be the only one who'd ever seen her this way. I was her first. I nuzzled her soft cleavage with my nose while my mouth sucked and licked at her flesh. Bella was groaning and thrusting her hips in rhythm with mine now. I used my free hand to grip her thigh and hitched it along my hip. Bella let out a gasp as her warm pussy came into contact with my erection through our jeans, but she continued to writhe underneath me. That's when I heard it; the thump thump thump coming from somewhere above me. It got louder and louder until Bella's eyes flew open and her mouth dropped open in shock. She threw her arms over her chest and pushed me off of her giving herself enough room to get up and run into the bathroom.

Stupid pizza delivery.

I paid the kid who took one look at me and apologized for the inconvenience. I glared at him and shut the door behind him. Cockblocker.

Bella emerged from the bathroom and sat on the opposite end of the couch from me. We ate in silence, Bella with a deep blush in her cheeks every time she snuck a peek at me. That's when I knew I loved her. I wanted to be with her. It didn't bother me that we weren't sleeping together or even fondling each other on the couch. I was content sitting with her eating pizza and watching TV. I was happy I got to hold her hand as we walked down the street or kiss her lips chastely when I dropped her off at home. I never thought it would happen but I, Edward Cullen, had fallen head over heels for Bella Swan. My heart belonged to her, and I would make sure I was worthy of her.

Later that night when I dropped her off at home, I got out of the car and pulled her to lean on me against the side of it. She rested her head against my chest while we hugged, giving a contented sigh. Looking up into my eyes, she kissed me softly and I returned the kiss cupping her face in my hands, digging my fingers into her hair. I pulled away to look deep into her chocolate eyes that were shining with happiness, and I told her.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. I'm so in love with you."

She gasped and looked almost sad as she smiled at me.

"It's nice of you to say, Edward, but you don't have to. I know you don't mean it, and I'm okay with that. I know Edward Cullen doesn't fall in love."

She kissed me once more, but I was numb. She thought I didn't mean it?

I pulled away from her and I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. She thought I was pushing her away.

"Bella, look at me."

She met my eyes and chewed on her lip distractedly.

"I love you, Bella."

She shook her head before responding.

"I know you care about me, Edward, but you don't have to pretend for me. I'll take what I can get from you. I know there are girls lining up for their turn after you're done with me, and I understand. I'm just happy having this time with you right now." She smiled and started to run her hand through my hair.

I stilled her hand and leaned into her palm before pulling her to me forcefully.

"Isabella Swan, I'm in love with you. I don't know how long I've loved you, but I love you. I never expected it to happen, I know it's not the most romantic thing to say, but you snuck up on me, little girl. You're part of me now. You're in my thoughts every day from morning to night. I want to be with you every second of the day. I dream about you when I go to sleep. I hate having to bring you here every night. I love you and I want to be with you. Not just sexually. I can wait until you're ready for that, I don't mind, it doesn't matter. If I have to wait 10 years, I will, for you. There's no one else for me. You've ruined me. I can't think of being with anyone else but you. I don't want anyone else but you. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love the cute way you snort when you can't stop laughing. I love the way you leave your scent behind you as a reminder that you were in my apartment with me. I love how you bite your lip when you're nervous. I love how protective you are of your friends." I softened my tone now, "I love the way you take care of others without thinking of yourself. I love the way you wrinkle your brow when you're concentrating. I love the way you pout when you don't agree with me. I love everything about you, Bella. Please, believe that."

I took her face in my hands and placed soft kisses on every inch of skin there. On her eyes, her nose, her cheeks and her chin. Every kiss was punctuated with an "I love you," because I don't think she'd heard it enough in her life and she deserved to know she was worthy of being loved. I would take as long as it took to convince her of that.

I kissed her soft lips that were salty from the tears that had spilled down her cheeks and whispered, "I love you" into her mouth. She ran her hands through the hair at the nape of my neck and whispered it back to me almost inaudibly, "I love you, Edward Cullen. So much."

We stood like that for a while, her leaning on me as I leaned against my car. We stood in front of her house kissing and telling each other that we loved one another under the full moon.

~oOo~

"Are you sure?" I heard myself asking. I turned to look at Bella to see she was calm, too calm.

"Are you sure the results are correct?" I asked again.

"Yes, we are very careful with these kind of tests. We can't run the risk of the host rejecting the new organ or having the donor go through a procedure unnecessarily." Dr. Peterson explained.

"Can you check again? Just to make sure?" Bella still stood silent at my side. I wanted to know what she was thinking. Hell, I wanted to know what I was thinking urging the doctor to check the results again.

"I'm not a match."

"No, Miss Swan. I'm afraid you're not."

"How is that possible? She's her flesh and blood!" I said exasperated.

"That doesn't always guarantee a match. They don't have the same blood type so trying to do a transplant would not only be pointless but lethal. Like I stated before, Miss Swan, your mother doesn't have a strong chance of survival. There is a great possibility that she will not be with us much longer."

"I understand, Dr. Peterson. Thank you." Bella moved towards the waiting room in a trance, and I nodded at the Doctor as he was leaving.

I was torn between feeling relief that Bella was not going to have to put herself through that and sadness at the loss she would be experiencing soon. We didn't know how long Renee would be alive in her comatose state or if Bella would get the chance to say goodbye.

Damn you, Renee. You'll be making Bella suffer long after you're gone.

It wasn't fair to Bella. She didn't deserve this. Why couldn't fate just let her be happy? The moment she had walked away from the cause of her pain and suffering she'd been dragged back to it.

I reached Bella's side at the waiting room entrance as she collapsed to the floor, letting out a strangled cry.

A/N Just to make sure everything is clear. If you recall I stated E/B said their ILY 6 months prior. Right now it's September (Bella's b-day just passed). Flashback takes place in March, their 'break' was in December. Hope that helps and I can't wait to read your reviews!